Category Archives: absurdities

July 22, 2011 · 12:31 am

I Heart New York

Once again, the universe dropped a big helping of ridiculous on my plate. I could not believe my good fortune that this couple should cross my path just as I was taking the first draw off a really kick ass smoothie from Joni’s. I live for these smoothies and only wish that Joni would open a place closer than the 2.5 hour drive to Montauk (on a good day).

So these two? Did they wake up in the morning and say, “Hey, let’s wear our I Heart NY t-shirts to the beach”? Or was it a coincidence? I think not.

Way to work as hard as you can to look like a tourist.

I give these two the What the Hell Were you thinking award this week.

 

 

 

 

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July 15, 2011 · 11:50 pm

And the Lorena Bobbit Award Goes to…

Catherine Kieu Becker, the woman who drugged her husband, tied him to the bed, cut off his penis, dumped it in the garbage disposal and turned it on.

The dumping was unusually harsh; I mean didn’t Bobbit through it out the window? At least there was some hope for being ‘reunitied’.

When asked why she said, “He deserved it.”

Yikes.

When my kids were little and some ‘crime’ had been committed I used to ask them what happened right before they were served with some injustice.

I certainly would like to know what the hell this guy did right before his wife decided to grab an knife and cut of his package.

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July 12, 2011 · 11:52 pm

Cheaper than dry cleaning

This was sent to me from my very witty friend the strategist. Yeh, that is a job, and he is REALLY good at it.

He can also spot a fabulous piece of signage on the street. You have to love the person who used this line to sell this ties. Of course my husband has always told me that under no circumstances can you dry clean a tie and expect it to be ok when you get it back… once it gets dirty it is gone. Could that be true?

Nonetheless, I bet that sign helps him sell a hell of a lot of ties.

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July 7, 2011 · 10:02 pm

Potato Chip Hat

Stalker that I am, I took this shot from afar in a parking lot. I could not believe this fabulous hat! This woman was all decked out for what looked like a rockin’ family celebration at the Olive Garden.

That hat is so fine I can only hope she gets to wear it again.

One day someone is going to catch me doing this.

Not today ; )

 

 

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July 6, 2011 · 10:22 pm

Doggie Dress

Let me say that again… doggie DRESS!!!

Seriously?

Here is an open note to people who dress their dogs in clothing.

Don’t.

Additionally, Kids on leashes, dogs in strollers = not ok.

Thank you.

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June 30, 2011 · 7:25 pm

Mommy might not cook, but maybe she’s the Smart One

At a recent trip to Target we stood behind a family who seems to have found the solution to cooking family meals… don’t!

This mom and grandma, with toddler in tow, had stocked up on what looked like a months worth of Smart Ones meals. What you see on the bottom of that cart only represents half of what she was buying.

Anyone out there a big fan of Smart Ones? Do you think this is a good way to feed the fam? Or perhaps she cooks real food for them but is just trying to keep her points down and fit into that bathing suit this summer.

Damn, I hope her micro doesn’t go on the fritz!

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June 28, 2011 · 11:40 pm

Old Hippie Stylin’

We saw this guy at the same music festival where we saw the Hokey Pokey bumper sticker; it was quite an amusing day.

So, I look at this guy and I think, OK, this is a music festival and he is feeling his old hippie oats and wants to wear this outfit that makes him look like… well it makes him look like he just crawled out from under a rock. I mean, it’s not like he was wearing tie dye or something. This outfit was NEVER stylish in ANY era. The shoe and sock combo is to die for on their own but paired with the matching floral cabana set it is hard to look away from this fashion accident.

Anyone want to speculate whether he dresses like this everyday? And if yes, what do you think he does for a living?

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June 19, 2011 · 9:59 pm

Poison Ivy Picnic

Hey kids, this looks like a good spot to picnic! Um, Grandma, what does that sign say?

I stumbled upon this scene at the Clearwater Festival this weekend. There was a festival-style food court with picnic tables all over the place. Whatever possessed the adults in this crowd to park here is beyond me. I am thinking it might have been the heat. Mom seems to be sucking down that iced tea like she really means it.

I love how they wrapped the tree in plastic to help avoid the spread of poison ivy. My question is what about the poor schnook that did the wrapping?

Hey kids, next week let’s go to the beach with shark infested waters.

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June 14, 2011 · 10:18 pm

LSD

That post title should get me some interesting traffic, don’t you think?

This photo was sent to me by my friend Wendy. This was a great week for blog fodder bird dogs. Thanks everyone for making this such an easy week to post.

If you look closely, this is a sticker for Lower Slower Delaware. A little Googling and I found out this is what they call Sussex County, Delaware. Great sense of humor, wouldn’t you say? I like this blog with the subtitle ‘It’s not a drug, it’s a way of life’.

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June 8, 2011 · 9:36 pm

Stuck Forever?

Today on my walk, instead of garbage, I came across this sign on a freshly paved driveway. You really have to love my neighbors. Instead of being mean or stern they opted for the humorous tone to make sure no one walked on their driveway.

I don’t know about you but I would certainly not risk being stuck there FOREVER! A couple of hours maybe, but forever?! I thought it would be funny to get Mel in the background on the driveway but again, forever just did not seem doable.

 

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