November 14, 2010 · 8:51 am

Hoosier Daddy? – Big 10 Football

Ah, Big 10 football and a rainy morning in Madison, Wisconsin. The late morning kick-off is no reason not to pre-game when you are in college. And for the young woman on the left, the mid-40 degree weather and drizzling chill was no reason to wear sleeves either.

This apartment was a half a block from Randall Stadium and there were no shortages of cheers from the crowd as they passed them by. You have to love the spirit of college football; and the complete joy they get from being fans.

This was the last home game my daughter, the senior, will attend as a student and marked the end of the first season for my son, the freshman. With a final score of  83 to 20 this home season went out with a bang. (this is not the official last home game which takes place Thanksgiving weekend, but it is the last one for my kids). UW set a school record and tied a Big Ten record for points scored and scored more points than any other FBS team this season.

I must apologize to you all for not getting the best shot of the day, which was the two guys walking down the street in the freezing cold rain in nothing but sneakers and badger g-strings.

I know, I am slipping up, sorry.

 

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November 10, 2010 · 10:12 pm

Keep Calm and Carry On

Sitting at my desk today this shot came through in an email from a friend who always seems to capture the essence of my day. It is the more civilized version of  ‘Everyone Calm the Fuck Down’ which would not be all that appropriate hanging in someone’s office like this was.

I particularly love the crown. It gives it a regal sort of directive that would make me feel foolish if I did not obey. You know, because I am so reverent and all in real life.

My friends, I know sometimes the world is on fire and it seems like things are just a little more frenetic than we would like them to be. Kind of like your hair is standing on end and you are running in circles getting nowhere. But panic never helped the situation. So everyone, please…

Keep calm

and

Carry on.

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November 9, 2010 · 10:44 pm

Do you lose your boobs?

True story:

A daughter is still new to the menstruation game. She is young and can really do without it. Honestly, she does not see the point. Her mom tries to shed some light on the subject.

Mom: Honey, as a girl matures, things happen to her body. She gets her period, she starts to grow breasts, and her body changes. Right before your period every month you can tend to be a little moody.

Daughter: I know, but why?

Mom: Well, this is all the beginning of changing a girl’s body into a woman’s body. And then as a woman gets older, like mommy, she goes through something called menopause. Her body changes again and she stops getting her period. And again she can tend to be a little moody.

Daughter: Oh no mom! Does that mean you are going to lose your boobs?!

Mom: (Laughing) Um, no not exactly. But they sure don’t look like they used to.

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November 8, 2010 · 11:02 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Time Travel, which direction would you choose?

Nope, I have not been time traveling. But I have been thinking about it lately after someone posted this question on facebook the other day:

If you could time travel and you could only choose one, would you go back or forward?

I am going to give a few more parameters and then I am going to put this out there in the comments and add in a little poll just for fun.

1. If you go back you can take people with you.

2. If you go forward you will not have the ability to take back any information for financial gain. Sorry, no winning lotto numbers. I need to remove the financial piece to make it a viable choice. Since that is making you all rather cranky I will let you take people with you into the future as well.

Me? I would want to go back. Having my kids in college, I would love to go back to one of those Sunday morning brio trainfests with my son and REALLY appreciate his undying love for building those tracks in a figure eight. Sit and color all afternoon on a rainy day, or play with perler beads with my daughter. Or bathe my babies and smell their hair one more time when they are wrapped in a towel. Or be 17 and jump in the car for an impromptu road trip. I would love to see my grandparents again, and have them meet my kids all grown up. Be a camper again!! Oh what I would not give for one more summer in the adirondaks.

Relax, this is not some old person’s pondering on the past. This is a go back and really taste it all for a little while. Stop and smell the roses, the coffee, the ocean and everything else in between. And honestly, if there is something unpleasant in my future, I would rather not know. Equally – if not more so – if there is something amazing which I would prefer to believe, I want to be surprised.

Ok you lurking commenters, come on out of the woodwork and give me your thoughts. At the very least, weigh in on the poll.

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November 7, 2010 · 11:41 pm

Drinks on Us – A restaurant tale

Well, more accurately the drinks were on my poor friend. Literally.

You see the rather clueless and clumsy Maître d’ was serving us a tray of drinks when he forgot the single most important trick to serving… keep the tray parallel to the ceiling. It seems the laws of gravity escaped him.

I watched in slow motion as 2 vodka’s, 2 beers, a glass of wine (a really good pour I might add) and one ginger ale (for the designated) went flowing down the back of my dear friend. Sadly for him, the Maître d’ reacted in equally slow motion. Even sadder for him, he made the poor choice of trying to mop up the floor before making an effort to placate the patron.

Bad choice.

Bad to worse as the best he could do was tell us that ‘accidents happen’. Even after a pretty good tongue lashing from the irate husband of the sopping victim he still did not get the basic principles of restaurant groveling and could not come up with a way to make good on the disaster. Granted, said husband took perhaps a little too much sport in embarrassing the fool, but he was an easy target. To his credit he did agree to a round of drinks

At one point the entire restaurant was listening, the couple at the next table left and still neither he nor the owner (his dad, btw, who he told us was not in just minutes earlier when we asked) could figure out what to do.

That is when I could not help myself and jumped in. I felt bad for the guy for no reason other than he was just so damn STUPID.

“Listen”, I said, “Here is a little restaurant 101. Do anything to quiet the miserable customer. Buy them a round of drinks, offer to comp dinner for the dripping wet wife and pay for the dry cleaning bill. In other words… damage control.”

His response was somewhere between deer in the headlights and boxer who took too many hits to the head. To his credit he did agree to a round of drinks and dry cleaning at some point but unfortunately it was somewhere between too little and too late.

Fairly certain they spit in all our dinners before delivering the bill…

with only one round of drinks comped.

Hey, at least it wasn’t a boring evening.

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November 2, 2010 · 11:24 pm

ITZMURDA I tell ya!

Haven’t posted a good license plate in awhile. This one popped up today while I was driving with my parents. My dad was very into helping me capture it and drove up nice and close. I love a family that supports my absurdities.

The best part is the bird dropping just below the wiper.

ITZMURDA. So what do you think this means? Do we have a gangsta on our hands? Or is this commentary on the daily grind?

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November 1, 2010 · 10:24 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Cure Chordoma (update 2)

Artwork: Scott Migden

A young man loses a valiant fight. His world grieves. There are no words.

I will quote but a few, gleaned from his peers:

Courage.

Grace.

Honor.

Compassion.

Perseverance.

Insightful.

Inspiration.

Brother.

Pride.

UPDATE 2 TO POST (an evolving project):

During the years that this family Lived (with a capital L) through the horror of this disease, there was a very special organization that helped them through. Friendsofkaren.org provides emotional, financial, and advocacy for children with life-threatening illnesses and their families, in order to help keep them stable, functioning, and able to cope. This organization made a huge difference in the lives of the entire family. If you are touched by this story and feel it in your hearts to honor this remarkable young man, you can donate here in memory of Tyler Seaman.

As always, The Chordoma Foundation continues to fight the fight for a cure every day. Their mission is is to improve the lives of chordoma patients by rapidly developing effective treatments and ultimately a cure for this devastating disease. They too, are a charity of choice for this family. You can read more about this disease here. If you so choose, Tyler’s family each has a fundraising page on their sight. You can donate through his mom here, his dad here and his brother here.

What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through?

A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through.

Just a box of rain,

wind and water

Believe it if you need it, if you don’t just pass it on

Sun and shower,

wind and rain

In and out the window like a moth before a flame

And it’s just a box of rain, I don’t know who put it there,

Believe it if you need it, or leave it if you dare.

And it’s just a box of rain, or a ribbon for your hair;

Such a long, long time to be gone, and a short time to be there.

– Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh


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October 27, 2010 · 11:49 pm

Booty Pop – When baby don’t have back

Yes folks, now you too can have that perfect booty. With Booty Pop. What are these, you ask? Well, they are the panties that make your booty pop.

And we want our booty pop because…

Oh right, I am not the demographic.

As they say on the website “Lose that boring backside. Get a Booty-licious booty in an instant?” Oh dear lord. Then what happens when he falls for your big ole backside and you slide those suckers off and he finds the only thing in your panties is that boring backside. So, these are actually butt falsies? What next?

These were found in the Bed Bath & Beyond sale rack. Thinking maybe the BBB shopper out looking for some cookware or maybe a bathroom hutch is not in the market for Booty Pop panties. But hey, you never know.

Makes a nice impulse buy item.

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October 26, 2010 · 1:13 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Words of Wisdom

Hug your kids.

Make good choices.

If it is not broken, don’t break it.

No place is ever as far away as it feels.

Quality. Speed. Price. Pick two.

Don’t eat yellow snow. (this one was for levity)

If you feel it, tell them.

If it’s not so nice, keep it to yourself.

When doing your best isn’t enough… tough, it is your best.

Age is irrelevant.

The best way out is always through.

Sometimes you just need to cook and clean. (unless you are Wendy)

Cry when you need to (and because it’s Tuesday).

Laugh because otherwise what is the point?

 

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October 24, 2010 · 9:13 pm

Longuyland

Saw this t-shirt in the hospital gift shop the other day and was simultaneously enchanted and annoyed that I did not make it. I have posted about our ‘accent’ here on the Island of Long because I always get a kick out of the way people speak.

Urban dictionary has defined the word and has a great sentence as an example of how to use it, “I’m walkin’-tawlkin’-cawfee all day in Longuyland.”

When I am tired my accent is pretty bad. If you ask my brother who moved when he was 18, it is always bad.

Jana and I both thought this was sort of a weird item for a hospital gift shop, but hey, I am sure it gets plenty of laughs.

Of course it comes in black as well. But somehow I think the bright green adds to the tackiness.

Anyone interested in owning one? I would be happy to scoot back over and pick it up for you.

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