December 28, 2008 · 10:04 pm

‘i could cry but i don’t have time’ turns 200!!!!

200

200? Gee, she really doesn’t look a day over 170. Must be the botox.

THIS is my 200th post! How bicentennial. How anticlimactic. It falls on the Monday between Christmas and New Year’s when we are all in this food induced coma. A Twitter friend said the other day that she was one shower short of being classified as a bag lady. So, there are others staying in pajamas till 3 or 4 in the afternoon? That is comforting. I think.

I am usually the multi-tasking lunatic who lives to get things accomplished and cross them off her list. Ah, over-achievers are over-rated!

Now I have become addicted to Brickbreaker on my Blackberry which, by the way, I did not even know I had until my son pointed it out to me. Now a great achievement for me is to beat my highest score, which I do not think is all that impressive but I don’t know any better so don’t burst my bubble (Jana this means you because I know you have to be way better at this than I am).

Funny thing is that I have not even taken the time off this season. Just so happens that a few jobs have come up that have caused me to have to work through part of the weekend. Even having accomplished that I still feel like a slug. (could be the sweatpants).

So my 100th post was all philosophical and take the world by the balls and my 200th is kind of like the honeymoon’s over and it is cool to blog in my ‘jamas and talk about nothing. Oh right, I talk about nothing most of the time. But entertaining nothing.

Whatever, all birthdays are not created equal. Or is that animals? I am leaning towards some Orwellian thoughts here… or lunacy. How can I tell the difference? (hey, check out that Orwell link, did you know his birth name was Eric Arthur Blair?!)

I digress. Or perhaps this whole post is one long digression. Are you still with me here?

No worries, tomorrow will be Time to Cry Tuesday followed by a monthly fave on Wednesday, the search terms wrap up.

You know, 200 is not so bad. I mean really, what’s the alternative? ; )

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 27, 2008 · 11:39 pm

Maybe she was just hungry

hunger

I ran out to the market tonight to pick up a few things at an odd hour, 5:00 on a Saturday. And there she was, this magnificent mom with two equally beautiful children. They were all really breathtaking. She looked oddly familiar in a movie star sort of way but I doubt it. Just another well-healed North Shore Long Island women over-dressed for the supermarket.

But here’s the thing, she was a total bitch to her kids. Believe me, I have seen kids misbehave in a supermarket, sometimes even those of my loins. These two kids were not acting out, maybe being a little ‘overly helpful’ but certainly not worthy of reprimand. But the skinny bitch pretty mom? She did not have a shred of patience for them. To the point were she sent the little boy out to the parking lot to wait for them. (nice judgement, no?)

So here is what I am thinking:

Maybe she was just hungry.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 25, 2008 · 11:06 pm

Too much food and the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors

cosm

Tonight was our big fat Italian Christmas, except there was no one fat and not all that many Italians come to think of it. In fact most of us were Jews. Except our hostess whose holiday dinners have become the most coveted invite in the zip code. Every one of the guests was scheming how to secure a place at the table for next year. Except for us, of course, we are a lock AND we can bring the dog.

After dinner some of us got into a philosophical discussion about our expectations for the coming year that included much spiritual conversation. One friend brought up the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors, an art exhibit in Chelsea. My first reaction was, oh no, an exhibit that will not only reveal inner secrets, but back fat as well. Not sure I need to go there.

Seriously, it does sound kind of cool. Here is a quick description from the website:

The Sacred Mirrors series is a totally unique work of contemporary sacred art created by Alex Grey. This installation of 21 framed images, consisting of 19 paintings and two etched mirrors, examines the anatomy of body, mind and spirit in rich detail. Each painting presents a life-sized figure facing viewers and inviting them to mirror the images, creating a sense of seeing into oneself.

Ok, so maybe I can lose the narcissistic fear of back fat and I will check this out. This is the line that got me:

The Sacred Mirrors dramatically reveal the miracle of life’s evolutionary complexity, the unity of human experience across all racial, class and gender divides, and the astonishing vistas of possibility inherent in human consciousness. 

Pretty tall order to ignore. For those interested, the show closes on New Year’s Eve. Surely let me know if you visit.

Oh, and the lasagna was to die for!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 25, 2008 · 12:37 am

Jews on Christmas

washington_square_arch2smThere is a long standing custom amongst American Jews to eat chinese food and go to the movies on Christmas. We, however, have broken tradition and celebrate Hannukah tonight with the in-law sibs. (the picture above is from the bro-in-laws terrace. not a bad spot, huh?)

We had a traditional Hannukah dinner of…

Steamed lobsters and clams.

Wait, not so kosher right? But they were delish. And for the vegetarians amongst us we ordered the chinese food so as not to seem like we were straying too far from the norm.

Tomorrow, our big fat Italian christmas with the best skinny girl cook in the zip code, Joanne. Can’t wait.

Happy Festivous to one and all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 23, 2008 · 9:46 pm

Oddities in the Doctor’s Waiting Room

puppies-for-dummies

Seen in the waiting room of an ob/gyn’s office today:

Young man with spiky hair and his girlfriend wearing ripped leggings. He was carrying a copy of  Puppies for Dummies. Should we not be concerned that this couple was breeding?

Old Orthodox Jewish man with long white beard and black hat sitting in a chair next to… a teddy bear.

Dr. Phil! What is up with these friggin’ people? Why would you do this on National TV? Are they for real with all this crying and airing of their personal business for the whole world to witness. (hmmm, sounds like some popular mommy blogs we know, does it not?)

News promo, “Baby Jesus returned to manger in Babylon… Town Mall (for non-locals, Babylon is suburb of NYC)

A plate of garlic knots at the receptionist’s window where there would normally be a basket of hard candy. What is up with that?(fyi, spiky haired man asked his girlfriend if she wanted one because it would make her breath ‘taste’ real bad! this sounds like something Napoleon Dynamite would say.)

That about sums it up folks.

Does everyone encounter these kinds of oddities in their day or is it just me?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 22, 2008 · 9:20 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Nothing Like Family

Before I start this post check this out! One of my 50-something moms posts was picked up by the Fresno Bee! (ok, so it’s not the NYT but it’s a start)

This Time to Cry Tuesday mixes things up a bit and starts with a laugh. For those who are regular readers, you have heard mention of Gary’s toddler dance more than once.

Now don’t get all excited out there (especially you MizLiz, as I know you are dying to see it), this video does not feature Gary. But it does star our kids who named this dance and hold it close to their hearts. So without any further ado, I bring you The Toddler Dance by Danny and Jana.

Where is the time to cry piece, you ask? No worries. A good friend once told me it is good to both laugh and cry every day, then you know you have lived your day to its fullest.

Family. Some cringe at the word, break out in hives, get indigestion, run for cover. Especially this time of year with all the forced reunions and pressure to celebrate. Me? There is nothing more important. I was raised this way, it is in my blood. And I am fortunate enough to be able to say that when I hear the word family I am happy.

There is no feeling greater for a parent of a college student than the moment before they close their eyes and know that everyone is in their own beds under one roof. These times become more rare and increasingly precious. My kids may roll their eyes when I get this way – certainly Danny does because he has not left yet – but I know that in their hearts they feel the same way.

It is a tough world out there, and we as a society are facing very scary realities. But when you sit at a dinner table with your whole family and can laugh and enjoy simply being together, the world out there seems a little easier to face.

Thanks kids, for humoring me. Oh and being the first video on my great new Hannukah present…

a Flip Video camera.

How did daddy know I wanted this? Oh right, because I only mentioned it 1,000 times.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 22, 2008 · 12:25 am

Humanely Raised Ham?

humanelyraisedham

I came across this sign in one of my favorite eateries in the Flatiron District, The City Bakery.

This sign struck me as being sort of silly. Humanely raised before we slaughter you and slap you on a piece of bread with gruyere. Is part of the humane treatment to avoid humiliation by being paired with a pedestrian cheese like ordinary american?

Yes, this noise in my head is truly never ending.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 20, 2008 · 6:46 pm

Urbandictionary

Oh, how I love this site. We have spent time looking things up on here and laughing many times. So I decided it was time to submit. Lo and behold my word was accepted. Gotta love it. If you could be so kind, jump over there and show me some love with a thumbs up. For those who were not familiar with my made up word posts you can read Vol. 1 here and Vol. 2 here.

urbandictionary

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 19, 2008 · 10:23 pm

This Week’s Favorite Products

One of the advantages of spending hundreds of hours in front of a computer screen is the access to all sorts of ridiculous items. It is hard not to be entertained even during some of my more stressful days. (today was surely one of them).

Everyone seems to have a review site these days, so consider this my first review post. Again, maybe I will get some free loot from this!

Here are my favorite products from this week:

flame

I mentioned this one at the beginning of my post yesterday but I felt it needed more commentary. It was originally brought to my attention on Twitter by my fellow SV mom blogger and tech guru, mom extraordinairre, the fabulous Beth of techmamas. She found this article on Techcrunch.

Burger King has either lost their minds or struck genius with their beef scented cologne called Flame. My personal opinion is the latter. This is brilliant and fun. They have the most hysterical site with Barry White style music, candles on a bathtub and all. “The Whopper® Sandwich is America’s Favorite Burger. Flame™ by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat.” OMG, that last line kills me.

It is sold exclusively at Ricky’s for $3.99 – nice price point. And it is sold out or many of you would be receiving this from me as a gift. (especially my brother and brother-in law, the vegetarians)

maplebacon4index

Seems meat is on the brain this week. This one comes from my BBFF Liz over at Flashfree. She tweeted about these Maple-Bacon Lollipops this morning. I am so sorry but the thought of these made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. The men in my house eat Slim Jims, that is bad enough, but a bacon sucker. Jana would run from the house screaming from this one for sure.

encentral_presentacion1

This last one comes from my friend Joyce. She swears she was not searching for anything in particular when she stumbled upon the Condometric. Yes, folks, this is a condom with ruler markings. How about this for a selling point ” Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penis’ length. It helps flaunt what we’ve got.” Oh and they come in 4 great flavors: Natural Power, Cherry Rider, Katana Lima and Papito Banana.

I suppose the best way to tie this post together would be to say…

Hey, it ain’t the meat it’s the motion

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 18, 2008 · 10:40 pm

Janie Knight

Before I start today’s post I want to point out the most ridiculous thing that I have seen this week. This was tweeted by my friend Beth at techmamas and featured on TechCrunch. Burger King has launched a cologne that SMELLS LIKE MEAT! This is outrageous even by my standards. Check it out.

janie-knight_small1I am what you would call a vivid dreamer. Sometimes my dreams are so real that it takes me a few minutes to shake them off in the morning. I love to share them as soon as I wake up. This is usually when Gary walks out of the room as quickly as possible or pretends he can not hear the sound of my voice.

One morning last spring I had a dream right before I woke up. In this dream Gary told me that he was leaving me. He had met a 30-year-old named Janie Knight with big boobs (cliche, I know), they were moving to Summit, MA and they were…

taking the dog!

Now mind you, we have 2 kids. Granted one is in college, but this guy was taking the dog?! He told me that Summit was in the country and the dog would be happier there.

What did I do when I woke up? What any loving, trusting wife of 20 some odd years would do, I grabbed the laptop off my night table and Googled both Janie Knight and Summit, MA. I will be kind to the 3 Janie Knights on LinkedIn (two of which do happen to live in New England, BTW) and the one on Facebook as I am pretty sure they are innocent. And probably allergic to dogs.

The next thing I did was open the shower door and start yelling at my poor husband who was shocked at first and then could not stop laughing at me. Actually, I think he was flattered by my jealousy. I do not always appear to like him. Oh, come on, if you are married you get that.

Fast forward to later that afternoon. The doorbell rang and I sent my son upstairs to answer it. He came downstairs with the above card in his hand and asked who Jill Knight was. Me, “You mean Janie Knight”. Danny, “Nope, Jill Knight. She just sent Daddy flowers.”

No joke. And they were quite nice. Not sure what was funnier; the flowers or the fact that he got her name wrong! The tough part is that he told the whole story to the florist who found it quite funny. Now I need to find a new florist!

Never a dull moment in this house.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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