Category Archives: Jana

Time to Cry Tuesday – This is not a dress rehearsal…

I have decided to make this an annual post at graduation time, until next year when I will have another graduate to write about. I wrote this before I was a blogger. It was an email I sent to those who had been parenting with me since preschool. It was written on the morning of my daughter’s HS graduation. Funny how I have become the mom in the last paragraph. Perfect timing as she is leaving tomorrow for the summer after just a few short weeks at home.

This one is for all my girls (and guys) who are launching their girls (and a guy) this year: to Jo (& Mo), Karen (& Todd), Joyce (& David), Maddee (& Alan), Susan (& Neil), Michelle (& Daryl), Lisa (& Rob), and Nancy (& Uncle Neal). Grab your tissues and your hats, this one is not for the faint of heart!

This is not a dress rehearsal…

or watch the temp when you decide to iron the graduation gown.

6AM on the day that my first child graduates high school.

how can this be, she was just a curly-headed little whirling dervish whose door i had to hold shut as she was throwing her ever famous brand of temper tantrums. that same door with the loose latch from all the times she slammed it for effect when she stormed into her room in her tweens. you know the one, who at five years old marched into nuerosurgery to ‘get her neck fixed’ and never once asked ‘why me?’.

who was that radiant young woman that walked out of the house wednesday morning with her car packed and her keys in hand saying, “don’t worry mom, i have the garmin GPS, i don’t need a map!”

well i think, perhaps, i need a map today. someone tell me how to navigate this road. we surely have had enough practice. we graduate them ad nauseum – from the 4’s, kindergarten, 5th grade, 8th grade – the most graduated generation of all times. you would think we would get used to it. but this year’s cap does not have flourescent orange and green finger paint decorating it. this kid has actually grown up! how dare she. does she not know that my bravado this year has all been an act. of course i could not be ready for her to be the competant, independent, grab-the-world-by-the-balls person i worked so hard to raise. does she not know i was only kidding!! wisconsin?!! that is halfway across the country!

i digress – back to the gown and the iron. being a working mom i always look for ways to overcompensate and make sure that i am doing the mom thing as well as the work thing. so, of course, they both are never really quite up to the standard i expect. somewhere in the 4-page green directions for graduation (you know the one, where the assistant principal gives them a 10 bullet list for how to enjoy graduation and prom, 9 of which stress not drinking or doing drugs) there was mention of taking the gown out of the bag and ironing it. at midnight i was the mom who would just hang it up. at 6AM i decided no daughter of mine will graduate with a wrinkled gown!

so why is it, exactly, that they make these things out of the same material as basketball shimmer shorts?!

no, you will not be able to notice my daughter by the big brown iron mark on the back of her white gown. but if you look close, you may notice that on the front left shoulder the fabric is, how should i put it, a tad ‘melted’.

as jana would say, ‘it’s FINE’. as my parents would say, i did it ‘the Amy way’.

a huge thank you to the jana who has become one of my favorite people on earth to spend time with. surely the one that knows me the best, and loves me anyway. sometimes it seems that she is raising me. i think her humor and radiant smile will get me through this one. levity has always been her strong point.

love and congrats to all of you who have been in the parenting trenches with me the past 18 years. for some of you it is your first, others, your last. it is never easy to watch them go. but then again, we could all use a rest. and as my mommy mentors tell me, they come home, stay out all night, sleep late and bring lots of laundry.

let the games begin!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under communities, education, family, friendship, Jana, moms

Back in the Attic

Me: Gary, can you go into the attic and get Jana’s husband?

Gary: WHAT?!!

Me: That backrest pillow, they call it a husband. (no I do not have some guy up there waiting for the day when my daughter is ready to marry. We do not save anything with a heartbeat. At least not intentionally).

Gary: Oooh, the attic? (eyes glistening) Sure thing!

For those who read the last attic post you will remember we have a tendency to save EVERYTHING and that attic is a scary place. Gary now jumps at the chance to go up there and throw stuff down to get rid of. At least today I was not called a crazy old hag.

This week he found the box to the activity rocker. Yeh, it was from my kids. And here they are holding the box. What, 15 years is too long to save that? Do they even make these things anymore or have they deemed them unsafe and likely to cause brain damage like everything else my kids played with?

activity-rocker

I would also like to mention that he found an Apple llci up there. Yes, this baby was my first color mac. This sucker came with a whopping  80MB hard drive (note I said MB not GB) When did that come out, you ask? September 1989, 5 months after Jana was born!

Hey, at least I did not have her ‘husband’ up there for that long!

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On another note, would you be so kind as to vote for my blog buddy blondemomblog as the best local blog/nashville because she is really cool and I would love to see her win. Click here and vote.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under danny, family, gary, homeowner, humor, Jana

Camp Trunks

camp-trucking

Photo courtesy of Camp Trucking (some scary photoshop work there, wouldn’t you say?). Let’s hope this little plug helps to get our baggage moved with extra loving care.

Jana: Mom, seriously, you don’t need to nametape my underwear. (translation: hanky panky’s or the Gap knock-offs look equally silly with a nametape in them – keep your mitts off them)

Danny: Just let her do the nametaping. She can’t help herself this time of year. It is what she does. (this kid has always fully understood me)

Jana: Mom! We don’t send our stuff to the camp laundry as counselors. I will bring Danny’s into town and have them do it too. They charge like $8.00 for a week’s worth of laundry. (as an aside here I am thinking of driving my laundry up to the Adrondacks at that price)

Me: Danny, how do I nametape the reversible shorts?

Danny: MOM! Stop. You really have to let go of the nametaping thing. (ok, so maybe his patience is not as great as his understanding of me).

Me: Let’s go toiletry shopping. Remember how we always love to do this every year?

Danny: No, YOU love to do it. But you seem to forget that Jana and I did this without you last year because you had a deadline.

Me: All the more reason to do it all together this year.

I guess he is right. I am kind of pathetic around this time of year.

There are households in my zip code that start packing the trunks weeks before they go out. Us? They go out on Thursday.

We are thinking of doing it tomorrow night.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under danny, family, humor, Jana

Time to Cry Tuesday – Family Movie Night

family-movie-night

Countdown to the kids leaving for the summer. When they were younger this was the 10-day period when I was both anxious about them going and elated to have 7 1/2 weeks of adult time and freedom from schedules. (except for work, but doing only one job was like a vacation).

This is the eighth summer that they will both be away. People used to ask us, “what do you do all summer without your kids?” and our response would be, “whatever the hell we want!”

Now that they are older, the thrill of having all that time to ourselves is tempered with the fact that during the year we pretty much do whatever the hell we want! And truthfully, our first choice of social companions at this stage of our lives are the kids themselves.

At almost 17 and 20 they are truly fun to be with. They throw us a bone now and then and agree to hang out, especially if we are paying.

Last night was Family Movie Night (yes on a Monday!) Infants that we all are, we decided to go see The Hangover –  a fine example of good parenting, I might add.

Sitting in the movie theater, with the glow of the screen illuminating what are now the grown up faces of our offspring, I could not help but flashback to their little faces watching the insufferable kids’ movies we used to take them to. Invariably there was always a kid that puked in the next row.

This time the puking remained on screen.

I glanced at Gary and could read his mind. He gave me that misty-eyed Gary face that said: remember when they used to sit on our laps? Remember how his fuzzy little head felt under your chin? Remember how her hair smelled? How one of them ALWAYS had to go to the bathroom at the best part of the movie? When we were sitting in the middle of a row. Next to a very cranky family with a really big tub of popcorn.

Last night, the sound of their laughter, the feeling of being this family unit – one that we do not get to have often – THIS is what it is all about.

For real.

The news, the distractions, the daily grind; they all melt away at times like these when we realize what we have built. These small moments that could burst through the walls if they got any bigger. In a world where there are no answers, I have found mine right under my nose.

In my family.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under danny, family, gary, Jana, relationships, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Sons are from Mars, Daughters are from Venus: A Mother’s Day Story

mothers-day

Today I received the most beautiful early Mother’s Day card from Jana. The second year of college has brought with it an ease in remembering the little things that make a big difference. She has made sure birthday gifts and cards arrive in time without being reminded. She handles her own ‘stuff’ with ease and little complaint. And this mother’s day the gift of her sending cards to not only me, but both her grandmothers, is the best one I could receive.

I texted her to thank her and tell her that she made me cry. She said she knew she would and then told me she had a funny story. Here it is:

Her friend went to buy a Mother’s day card and a girl who was in the store told her all the good ones were gone. The two of them decided to work as a team, going through every card in the store to try and find one that did not suck. While they were diligently reading every last card on the rack, a boy walked in, picked up the first card he saw, didn’t read it and walked out.

And that is the difference between boys and girls.

Hey, you have to give him credit for actually buying the card.

On this Mother’s Day I would like to wish all the moms in my life a wonderful day filled with family, love, and nothing that you do not want to do.

To my mom and my mother in law, I wish you the happiest day of all. I hope you both know how grateful we are to have reached this age and still have all four of our childrens’ grandparents. We are truly blessed.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, grandmothers, holidays, humor, Jana, men and women, moms, parenting, teenagers, women

The Big Two Oh!

jana_forever-young

I know I have already blogged about this once this week, but this is monumental.

Today is the 20th birthday of the fabulous Miss Jana. All you lurkers out there, the pressure is on to throw a comment in to wish my not so little girl a very happy birthday. Keep in mind she is in the home stretch of the semester and life is not all that much fun so she could really use a shout out from all of you.

In celebration of her birthday I will share my top ten most favorite things about Jana (in no particular order)

1. her hair (Dr. Jimmy is with me on this one)

2. her smile (thanks to the orthodontist who gave her the straightest teeth in the zip code)

3. her ability to suck it up in tough situations.

4. the fact that she will always be the one to tell me when it is time to get my hair colored (this could be one of the things I miss the most with her gone)

5. her kind heart

6. the way she taught me that it really doesn’t matter if a teenager’s room is a mess.

7. the way she treats her brother

8. her love for music (her dad made sure of that)

9. the way she hates to shop (where could that come from)

10. the fact that my behavior rarely embarrasses her

For the second time this week, but on the actual date you popped out, happy birthday Janny girl!

Now come on, let’s see some comments here…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, holidays, Jana, parenting, teenagers, top ten lists

Time to Cry Tuesday – Twenty!

jana_at_20

Indulge me – if you will – this little walk down the long and winding road of parenthood, for this week I will celebrate not only the birthday of my oldest child, but the anniversary of my 20th year of parenting.

What the hell!

Sometimes I wake up and forget how old I am.  I have had some weird dreams about not studying for a test, or being at camp or some other adolescent place and I totally forget that I am the mom of these young adults. I am embarrassed to say there are times when they are way more grown up than I am.

When I stop to think about it the whole thing is rather staggering.

Twenty years of “I’m the mommy, that’s why”. Two decades of being responsible for the well-being of other human beings. Two hundred and forty months of always being cognitive of other people’s whereabouts and safety. Seven thousand three hundred nights of being only as happy as my most miserable child.

You get the picture.

I have done many things in my life. Built a career, nurtured (or is that tortured) a marriage, made a house a home, navigated the nastiness of the healthcare system with my parents, built friendships and contributed to a community. But there is no other single thing I have done in my life that has had a greater impact on me than being a mom. Seriously. Not because I am expected to feel that way. Or because that is what I want my kids to think. But because it is simply…

True.

I am a better person for what they have taught me to be. From the moment they could reach out and hold my hand as we crossed the street, to the day when they had to push that hand away and ‘do it themselves’. They have taught me when to hold tight, and more importantly, when to let go.

Here’s to you, baby girl. Kiss your teens goodbye and grab your twenties by the balls. You are truly someone to proud of.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under family, Jana, moms, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Out of the Mouths of Moms

cursegraphic

We had an interesting dinner conversation tonight. We have a full house/table with Jana home from school. The dynamic shifts, as do the seats, to bring us back to the original four. We fall back into the way we were when she still lived here. There is truly nothing more comforting than a family that is whole again.

The conversation at our dinner table is always pretty lively. There are no rules. No taboo subjects, for me anyway. I believe in open discussion and the right to speak your mind as long as you are respectful to others. It was always this way, but somewhere along the line I guess I loosened up the reigns on cursing and *questionable family topics*. Especially for myself. Come to think of it I would say I am the one that says the most outrageous things at the table.

Not sure how it started, but for some reason I had a run of topics come out of my mouth that left my kids… well almost stunned.

Danny: Wow, think of a list of the most outrageous things to hear a mom say and you pretty much hit them all.

Jana: With each topic I did not think it could get worse… and then it did.

Me: Really? Crap, are you guys going to need therapy from this?

Jana: Nah, it’s fine.

Danny: Don’t worry, the damage was done a long time ago. We’re good.

Gary: this is definitely going to be a blog post!

Perhaps I should consider some restraint in the future.

Probably unlikely.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under danny, family, humor, Jana, parenting, women

UW Chi O Toddler Dance 2.0

For those who do not know the origin of the ever famous international dance craze known as ‘The Toddler Dance’, please take a little hop over to this post and see where it all started.

Since this a true favorite of my daughter’s, she decided to bring it to the girls of the Chi Omega sorority at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. This past weekend the university took part in its first ever dance marathon to benefit UW American Family Children’s Hospital. Miss Jana personally raised $772, her sorority raised $6,000 ($4,000 over their goal) and UW raised a total of $56,880.94.  Although this does not even compare to the millions of dollars raised at Penn State or Indiana, their total is still very impressive. They were able to raise more money in their first year of Dance Marathon than any other Big 10 schools raised in their first year, exceeding them by at least $20,000. For those inclined I believe donations are still open.

At the last hour of this all-night event, without any sleep and having not sat down for the entire danceathon, this group of Jana’s sorority sisters decided to end their stint with a rousing rendition of the Toddler Dance. Here’s a shout out to my dear friend @flipgonzo , the funniest clown on twitter, who named this…

The Toddler Dance 2.0.

Thanks girls. You did our family proud!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carry a camera, charity, communities, friendship, humor, Jana

Technojanitor

Danny: I can’t find my driver’s ed contract.

Me: I will have the office fax me a new one.

Danny: What would I do if you were technically challenged?

Me: You won’t ever have to worry about that (and faxing would be more admin than tech)

Danny: The printer is not working.

Me: The chord probably  loose. Here you go.

Danny: Thanks mom.

Jana: (long distance) Mom! The track ball on my blackberry is broken.

Me: Yeh, that happens to me sometimes, just jiggle it around a bit and it should work.

Jana: No it’s really broken

Me: Then bring it in to Verizon.

Jana: Ughhhh!

two minutes later by Blackberry Messenger

Jana: It’s fixed!

Me: Must have been my voice on the phone.

Add technojanitor to this mom’s job description.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under danny, Jana, moms