Category Archives: advice to my son

Time to Cry Tuesday – Boyz 2 Men

Hold on to your kleenex, kiddies, we are in countdown mode till the youngest child goes off to college. I will spare the drama, but this post had to be written.

Those who are walking down this road with me, we all know that this will be the fall of doing whatever the hell we want. And that surely does ease the pain of letting go. But every so often there is a moment. One that gets stuck in your throat and makes it just a little harder to breathe than you would like.

This past weekend I got my boy back for a few short days between counselor at camp and freshman at college. As we pulled into the zip code he had just enough time to shower before we were off to a 5 family farewell dinner with some of ‘his boys’.

Of course we had to torture them with the cameras a bit. But I am pretty sure that this post will make them glad that we did. For in picture number one below, you will find some of the very same smiles as picture number two. They may be hard to find, what with the facial hair and the hunky builds (I knew you guys would love that one), but they are the very same smiles that kept us moms going all these years.

We cheered at the sidelines for all these athletes, and of course virtually for our ‘mathlete’. We have lived through your joys and disappointments together as a community of families as if each and every one of you were our very own; because in essence you were.

We let you puke on our couches (as little ones) and in our cars (as not so little ones). Our homes were all yours, and of course so were our fridges and pantries. Never once did our love for you fail, even when your judgement sometimes did. The friendships you have shared through these years are nothing to be taken lightly.

May you always know the feeling of someone having your back the way you have here with each other. And may your moms survive this without putting you over the edge.

I love you all. Now go out and be all you can be.

And for G-d’s sake, be careful!

Oh, and of course remember to come back and eat me out of house and home whenever your hearts’ desire.

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Filed under advice to my son, carry a camera, danny, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Zen and the Art of Letting Go

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There are times in your life when you simply have to let it go. When you are a parent – and a control freak to boot – letting go is not the easiest thing to do.

But I know better. Time marches on and either we march along with it or we get trampled. Ok, so maybe I feel some boots on my back right about now. And I know I am not alone.

So, to all of you who are trying to march into step with the graduation class of 2010, here it is: the Time to Cry Tuesday post about graduating your youngest child.

The other day, during the 4-hour end of school/pre-camp errand, Danny and I found ourselves in the bookstore and I came across Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig. This 1974 novel was one of my most favorites back in the day – whenever the hell ‘the day’ was. Maybe High School, or college. I like to recommend some quality books to my kids in between the trash so I suggested that he read this. After being rejected by over 121 publishers it went on to sell over 4 million copies and was translated into 27 languages.

I suppose I was not alone in my love for this book.

While he browsed, I stopped at the Starbucks to try to alleviate the sleep-deprived haze I found myself in that is all too familiar this time of year. I began to refresh my memory by reading the back of the book. Up until this moment I had done a damn good job of holding it together. He is ready. He is excited. He is moving on to the next chapter of his life with the confidence and unbridled passion that only a young man of almost 18 could have.

I was good, I tell you, until I read this:

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is a powerful, moving, and penetrating examination about how we live… and a breathtaking meditation on how to live better… an unforgettable narration of a summer motorcycle trip across America’s Northwest, undertaken by a father and his young son. A story of love and fear – growth, discovery and acceptance – that becomes a profound personal and philosophical odyssey into life’s fundamental questions…

And that was when it happened. I broke. There in the Starbucks while ordering the grande iced latte (not even half caff, for G-d sake) I could not breathe. What if I had not imparted enough to him? Could I have done more? Could I have ‘lived better’ by example? Why did I never take a motorcycle trip cross country with him when he was younger ? (ok, that one is a stretch) Wait, I need a do over! I am sure there is some colossal parenting task I did not achieve well enough. Seriously, it went too fast, how could he make it without me?

And then I looked across the store.  And there he was, with that scruffy almost-beard and that ultra-confident, but in no way cocky little swagger that he has. And I realized the only wisdom that was not realized was my own:

The Art of Letting Go.

My friends, the road is long. And then it ends(ish). But as we who have graduated the siblings before these kids know, being a parent is a life-long job. And this stage is in many ways more fun than any of them. They are the people we grew from babies.

Their own people. And with any luck they will take care of US when we are old. (which may be sooner than I think if I don’t get some sleep soon)

To my boy, may we always have days like these past few weeks we have shared. Thanks for humoring me through them. And for making me so very proud to be your mom.

I love you. Now go and be all you can be.

And be careful.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under advice to my son, college, danny, parenting, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Dr. Hey-Nanny-Nanny

File this under I am pretty sure my son will need therapy after being parented by the likes of us.

Dinner conversation:

Gary: Danny if I was an oby/gyn I would let you come in the delivery room.

Danny: Oh greeeeaaaat. (lots of eye rolling)

Me: That’s lovely. Would the tagline on your business card be ‘Hey Nanny Nanny is my bi-nuss’?

Gary: No, but Hey Nanny Nanny would definitely be my license plate.

(Judy, just a quick question, does anyone in your practice refer to it as the Hey Nanny Nanny? And if yes, do they have it on their license plate?)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, advice to my son, conversations, danny, family, humor, license plates

Time to Cry Tuesday – Where the Wild Things Are

where-the-wild-things-are

“Oh please don’t go – we’ll eat you up – we love you so!”

I can’t help it. That line kills me.

Every time.

To say that I have a soft spot for this book is an understatement. A few weeks ago I mentioned that my son hit send on his first college app as the movie commercial aired. Danny agreed to see it with me. Part humoring me, part his own nostalgia, I suppose.

Life takes mysteriously coincidental turns. As we were leaving to see the movie yesterday, I did a quick check on the college website to see his status. Miraculously, before my eyes, the pending status changed to…

Danny_accepted-collegeAll sorts of screaming, tears, and jumping up and down ensued (that was mostly me). And then we went off to see the film. (which by the way I LOVED, but by no means should you take little kids to see this).

Sitting there in the dark with my boy – watching this childhood fave come to life – was such a MOMENT. But when that last line was spoken, those words were almost too much to bear. In my head I thought, off you go, my son, on to your next adventure. But in my heart all I could hear was…

“Oh please don’t go – we’ll eat you up – we love you so.”

Congrats to my boy who worked so hard to get all that he deserves. And I want you to always remember that no matter where you go, when you come home to your ‘very own room’ you will always find ‘your supper waiting for you’

‘and it will still be hot.’

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under advice to my son, college, college applications, danny, family, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Baby you can drive my car – disco version

danny in the car

One short year ago I wrote a post about my son getting his learner’s permit. Now, here I sit on the eve of his 17th birthday while he counts down the hours when he drives out of the driveway with NO ONE ELSE IN THE CAR.

No, really, I’m good. I am OK with this. He is a good driver and a responsible kid and I am perfectly fine with him operating 3,507 pounds of machinery down the block. (yes, I googled that).

Ok, so maybe when I dropped him off at school this morning and realized this was the last time I was EVER going to drive a kid to school I did sob just a little on my way home. So shoot me. I can lean toward the monumental moment overdrama lately. Let’s see how you all do when you are faced with that reality.

So, Danny boy, this post is for you. Congrats on holding out till you can legally drive (as if you had a choice). And happy happy 17th birthday. You will always be my little buddy. Love you forever.

Be careful and ‘be all that you can be.’

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under advice to my son, cars, danny, family

Rebranding STDs

Tonight’s post dinner clean up conversation:

Danny: In health they are trying to get us to stop calling sexually transmitted diseases STDs. They want us to call the STIs

Me: What does the I stand for?

Danny: Infection. The thought is that ‘infection’ is less scary sounding than ‘disease’ so we will think of them as something that can be cured.

Me: Oh great, they are trying to rebrand STDs. That will never work. They tried to do that with erectile dysfunction too. And I have written about rebranding menopause. Also a no win.

Face it, when something sucks you can’t make it suck any less by changing its name.

Case closed.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, advice to my son, danny, humor

What’s the poop on this restaurant?

modern_toiletAhh… to eat or pee, that is the question!

There is a new restaurant chain in Taiwan called Modern Toilet! And the theme would be? You guessed it, bathroom gourmet. I first read about this in Time and had to do a little exploring.

Now here is concept that my extended family would surely embrace. When we all get together it is inevitable that the conversation will go the way of defecation. My brother has amazed my kids more than once with stories of his bathroom feats. And my nephew, I believe there was once a comparison to the titanic.

toilet_sushiThis place is wild. You sit on ‘the can’ at glass top tables with sinks beneath them. Food is served in mini toilets bowls, drinks come in urinals and the soft serve ice cream? Um, kinda doodylike.

I would imagine there would be families that would be turned off by such a crass place. Us? Almost worth a trip to Taiwan in my book.

My favorite part would be the home page on the website. There is a picture of this cute little blue mouse on a piece of cheese with the words ‘shit or food’ in a bubble over his head. Hmmm, intriguing thought

Seriously, aren’t you just a little bit curious about eating here?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under advice to my son, humor, marketing, Uncategorized