This is going to be a new series. I have decided to give Danny a piece of solid advice whenever I can. Occasionally, when I have compiled a nicely balanced list, I will post it here.
I am thinking I can establish myself as the teen advice-giver. What do you think? Well, perhaps you may need to sample a few posts before you actually want to share these with your own kids.
I figured this is my last chance to leave my mark on the little bugger. Now Janny, I know this might be pissing you off right about now because I never did this with you, so consider this for your ears as well. (Except when I mention body parts that you don’t have). And there may be one thrown in there for you once in awhile
Here is the first list. It is in no particular order.
1. Be all that you can be (not in the military way). I have actually said this to my kids every day before they left for school, right before they roll their eyes and walk out the door muttering some unsavory name under their breath.
2. Never spend money you don’t have. Credit card debt is a nasty hole you don’t want to fall down. (believe it or not I said this just before the financial crisis hit, I am sounding less stupid to him now).
3. Never show your penis in a business setting. This pertains to a story that I wish I could, but can’t share here. Danny’s response was, “what if I go into the porn business.” Note to self: decide if this is concerning.
4. Keep your eye on your own ball. This one works for everything but is especially crucial during college prep.
This one actually came up the other day in a conversation with Jana (since she thinks she is the more interesting child I figured I would throw her in):
5. Your true friends are the ones that will hold your hair back when you puke. To those who have done this for me in the past – and you know who you are – thank you from the bottom of my heart and back at ya anytime you need it. Or the grown up version of that which is ‘the ones that sit in the emergency or surgical waiting rooms with you’ when you get older. Why does it sound like puking is more fun in this context?
6. Don’t do crack. I figured this might be obvious but it can’t hurt to mention it.
7. Try not to hit anything when you are driving. Again, kind of obvious but he just got his permit and I thought it would be good to start with the fundamentals.
8. Don’t marry an asshole. Not sure how this one came up but it did result in him telling me that he thought I would make a good mother-in-law. Sweet, I will try to remember that and bite my tongue till it bleeds so as not to prove him wrong.
I am going to open this up for comments. Give me your best shot. I will compile and do a ‘Readers Advice to Their Kids’ post from the results, so I urge you to please join in.