Monthly Archives: December 2009

December 19, 2009 · 4:35 pm

Does your mom look like this? Another online ad fail.

Ok, who’s responsible for this one? I am constantly entertained by online advertising these days. This beauty showed up on weather.com this afternoon. Let’s see, huge eastern seaboard blizzard this weekend, how many impressions do you think this baby got? I am sure this is the kind of mom Obama was talking about educating.

So, anyone out there have a mom that looks like this? Just asking. Don’t want to make too many assumptions but I am pretty sure this guy would not fall under the category of mom… ANYWHERE! Perhaps the American Laser Centers would like to give this guy a shot for their next ad. Way to go classesUSA.com, nice photo pick.

But wait. A refresh on the site came up with this tidbit. Seems our ‘mom’ is being used in more than one ad on here. Another Obama backed program and hairy dearest has shown up on a driver’s license promoting auto insurance discounts. lowermybills.com, you may want to talk to your agency about this.

Nope, not done yet. One more page refresh landed me here. We have now gotten ourselves a shot at government refinance relief. Seems lowermybills.com did not want to pay extra for more stock photo images, so one bearded guy fits all is the mantra for their ads.

Now that I look at this guy I worry that he was stolen out of someone’s Facebook pictures from the 70s. Anyone recognize him? I mean, I think I went to college with at least a dozen guys that look like this.

Can’t make this stuff up.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 18, 2009 · 10:28 pm

Are New Yorkers Really Miserable?

The CDC told us today that New Yorkers are the unhappiest people in the country. Seems our neighbors are pretty miserable living next door because New Jersey and Connecticut are up there too. Hey Jersey, I get it (just kidding Jersey friends) but what the hell does Connecticut have to be so unhappy about being all Norman Rockwell up there?

These studies are so ridiculous to me. Tennessee and Louisiana are in the top five along with Colorado, Hawaii and Florida. Ok, so Colorado and Hawaii I get. But Louisiana? What? Katrina left in its wake a state full of the elated. Nope. Don’t think so. And Florida, well, let’s see, half the state is full of New Yorkers. Oh, I get it, all the happy ones moved down there.

There is all this data about good weather and happiness. Sure I get it. But NY has a lot more than weather to offer. Honestly, I will take a cultural center over the early bird special any day.

Happiness, in my opinion, is not something that geography can control. It comes from inside us all. Find what makes y0u happy and you can stay that way wherever you live.

And hey, I know plenty of miserable people in Florida!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 17, 2009 · 9:48 pm

All thumbs

Texting, or BBMing (blackberry messenger texting) is the way many of us communicate these days. It is not only the kids that converse this way, now many adults do as well. The keyboard-based phones have revolutionized the speed in which we can now get our message out. Back in the day of traditional cell phones (jeez, that does sound ridiculous) we were forced to spell things painstakingly with triple keystrokes to get the correct letters out. The full keyboards have eliminated that awkwardness and helped us to type out error free, coherent messages.

Well, most of us.

Every crowd has one. The person who loves to converse in BBM and does so regularly. That person is sensitive, completely in touch, a responsible friend and the worst damn thumb typist on the face of the earth. Many try to understand her messages but few can decode the nonsense that rolls off her fingertips and out into the BBMosphere. I have gotten pretty good at looking at the letters on the keyboard next to the ones that have been typed to try to decipher her messages.

Oh, honey, you know who you are, and so do all your friends. But we love you just the same.

Full disclosure, I asked permission to write this and she is a damn good sport.

To give you an example of how funny things can with a friend like this, here are a few examples that happened during a not so funny time in her life this week.

First, she bbmd her husband who was picking up her daughter at college with an urgent message. He looked at it. Looked at it again. Then handed it to his daughter and said, “Can you tell what she is trying to say here.” The daughter’s response was, “Hmmm, there really is no way to tell.”

Later that day she sent me a message about her son having to have some unpleasant test while in the emergency room. Here was our exact conversation:

Me: Ew at 50. Ewwwwwww, kill me now at 14.

Her: That’s what linda said

Me: Who the hell is linda?

Her: Long Nails

Me: Linda long nails?

Her: no I mean that is what he kinda said. my nails are long for typing

Me: OMG, I thought the nurse giving him the test was named Linda and she had long nails.

I am happy to report her son is now ok. But during the afternoon we did get to talk about ‘ibtestines’, i found out that ‘whabdoesnt kill u makes us stronger’ and she shared that nails were a mess because she had ‘missee her monicrd’.

Yeh, well, better to be all thumbs than tongue tied, right?

Wishing a speedy recovery to a 14 year old who is a reeeallly, reeeallly good sport!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 16, 2009 · 6:18 pm

Let dogs out. Let dogs in. Let dogs out.

I posted this as my Facebook status yesterday and it would appear that many people share my schedule. We are lucky to be graced with the presence of a guest dog for 11 days. Dear Barkley is a bearded collie who is advanced in his years like Mel. These two have a pretty tight schedule planned most days. It involves torturing me to go in and out of the house… constantly.

And yes, I am a sucker for their needs. After all they are old.

The picture at the top of this post is a magnet that a friend gave me awhile back. He completely understands my plight. I also have another magnet that says “no outfit is complete without dog hair”. I often wonder why a woman who wears only black clothing would ever be possessed to by a white dog.

So, if you call tomorrow and can’t find me, I would most probably just be corralling these knuckleheads back into the house. Dont’ worry all of those who are unsettled by my leaving the basement, I will be here.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 15, 2009 · 5:59 pm

No more shaving?!

Nope, didn’t make this one up. This baby is a screen grab right off my Facebook page. One of those creepy targeted ads towards women over 50. Or should I say, bearded women over 50. Hold onto your hats kiddies, I am up for a good rant on this one.

C’mon American Laser Centers! Are you friggin’ kidding me!

I mean, do you really think that a woman with shaving cream on her face is going to attract the likes of me and my kind? Honestly, we wax. And we laser after weighing the consequences of lifelong hair removal from certain parts of our bodies. Many do have to do a little touch up above the lip (I am thankful to say I do not). But um, facial hair to the point of having a beard?! Did you think maybe a shot of some long legs or a perhaps a hint of the bikini line might get us a little more attracted to your service than to show a woman…

SHAVING HER DAMN FACE!

I am sorry, last time I went on a girls weekend with my 50-year-old friends I don’t recall any of them whipping out the shaving cream and the razor and going to town on their chinny chin chins. I do remember a few conversations with the word ‘Brazilian’ in it but hey, we are just a bunch of women over 50, what do we know about hair removal? Well, this one does know that the hair removal market sits at around $1.8 billion annually – yes with a B! Thanks Wendy for that little factoid.

Wait, have I mentioned that 50-year-old women tend to be menopausal with erratic behavior patterns and reactions to things that piss them off. Oh right, did not show up in the research.

Oh, you were trying to be funny you say?

NOT.

Just curious, did you do any kind of focus group on that ad? Was there even a woman in the building when you guys did that creative? My friends, this is what we call a big time fail in my book.

So, my dear friends at the American Laser Centers, let’s see what kind of social media monitoring you are doing now that you put that ridiculous ad on my Facebook page. Or shall I say anti-social media? Rule number one, make sure you monitor or you are setting yourselves up for a nightmare. Might I suggest  The Social Studies Group, they can set you up with a nice program. And hey, $3,000 worth of free laser treatments would be a good sort of apology for insulting the hell out of me.

Now, you will have to excuse me, I have to go call the wonderful woman who waxes me and tell her how much I appreciate her sensitivity.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 14, 2009 · 10:00 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – People Who Need People

Ok, maybe the Barbra Streisand reference is a bit out of character, but hey, it’s not like I am quoting Barry Manilow or anything (my regrets to my friends who are Manilow fans, you know who you are and I love you in spite of your questionable musical tastes. Ok, perhaps one or two songs are acceptable).

I digress, for a change. Back to the subject of this post. If you know me you would probably describe me as fiercely independent, or at least a social recluse. I enjoy my time alone. I work alone, walk alone, sometimes I even talk alone but that is for another diagnosis post. Bottom line, I am not one that considers most activities to be shared ones. I am rarely lonely even though I spend long stretches of time by myself. This could explain the whole basement thing.

But, and this is a big but (not a big butt, thank you), the people in my life are extremely dear to me. Without them I would be toast. I take relationships very seriously and cherish those who have made a huge impact on my life. This past week was a busy one, and during it I was fortunate to spend time with people who have made my life richer in so many ways I could not begin to count. Without them my life would be so very different. Sometimes the road is not the one you expect, but in the end you always wind up Here. And wherever that is, it is where you are supposed to be.

This Time to Cry Tuesday is my way of saying that life is often hard – and short – but when you know you have your people, you have more than you will ever need.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 13, 2009 · 9:09 pm

Where there is smoke, there is fire – a study in human nature.

Scenario: Driving to New Jersey with friends to see a concert.

Location: Grand Central Parkway Westbound

Incident: tons of traffic on the Eastbound side, lots of smoke and then we see an SUV smoking and starting to flame on the shoulder.

Conversation:

Husband 1: Wow, looks like that just happened.

Me: We should call 911.

Husband 1: Nah, somebody else will call.

Husband 2: Ah, forget it, that guy is already toast. Looks like it’s gonna blow.

Other wife: (while dialing 911) Are you guys kidding me?!

Scary part is that the 911 operator was so dimwitted there is a good chance that car had blown before she could understand what between exits 5 and 6 meant, had to take my friend’s cell number (more than once) and then asked if she wanted to be connected to the Fire Dept. By then we were already over the Triboro bridge.

Yikes.

So, here is another poll. Are you the someone else will call guy, the he’s already a goner guy or the 911 chick?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 11, 2009 · 11:22 pm

A New York State of Hannukah

This week I had a little tantrum about the insensitivity of the Rite Aid chain in not selling Hannukah wrapping paper in a town with 4 synagogues. (by the way, to date not a soul from Rite Aid has contacted me so either they have no social media prescense, foolish, or they hate me.) I have also voiced my opinion about the ridiculous holiday focused CBS Cares PSAs for pap smears and prostate cancer screenings.

This same week, my dear sweet friend sent a similar email rant about a food store in town that did not sell Hannukah candles. To add insult to injury the guy in the store sent her down an aisle where she found, not Hannukah candles, but Yarzheit ones. (um, bud, we use them when people have died, Hannukah, not so much). Then my friend Jessica Gottlieb went on a rant about Disney and it’s of sensitivity to Jewish Holidays.

These sort of things come up every year. The stores and municipalities bombard us with Christmas decorations, music, lights and those annoying as hell Santas ringing the bells on every corner. The other night the one in front of Lord and Taylor in Garden City was talking on the cell phone when I went in the store, and still yapping when I came out. Ho. Ho. Ho. But Hannukah, even in areas with a large concentration of members of the tribe, is often overlooked.

Tonight, I would like not to bitch, but to thank the city of NY for lighting the beloved Empire State Building in blue and white. Hey, after the tie-dye Grateful Dead lights it seems only fair. And another shout out to Senator Orin Hatch, a mormon, who has gotten some decent press about his writing of Hannukah songs. Way to be interfaith, Mr. Hatch.

So for this first night of Hannukah, I wish you all a happy festival of lights. And the hope that next year Rite Aid and the food market will wise up and stock some holiday supplies for us all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 11, 2009 · 12:49 am

Out of the Basement

For those who know me, I am usually rather subterranean. My office is in the basement. It has been called the command center by those who humor me, or maybe the people who truly get who I am. Aside from my morning walk, most of what I do – professionally and personally – can be handled from this underground habitat.

However, this week I have been very out of the basement. Let me rephrase that, I have actually been VERY out of the basement. It’s not bad. But I feel as if I am becoming a little disoriented. Perhaps it is all that oxygen. Or it could be that I am simply  a little overstimulated. Actually, I think I am a lot overstimulated. But on the other hand, a big thank you to those who added to the overstimulation. Not bad once in awhile. And no, I am not an agoraphobic for those of you who were starting to go down that road.

The controlled environment down here keeps me somewhat focused; if having a blog post, a twitter stream, a facebook page (with the odd chat going on) and various work projects open while emailing, listening to WFUV, answering texts and talking on the phone simultaneously would be considered focused.

Jeez, perhaps I need to sit in a dark room!

I have driven so much this week that I almost ran out of gas tonight. There I was at almost midnight on the Whitestone bridge and that scary orange ‘low fuel’ light came on. Not a great place to run out of gas. Happy to report I made it home. (I wonder if the car will start in the morning).

So tomorrow I will vow to spend most of the day down here. I will be productive and try my best to process it all. And yes, if any of you need me to look something up or mapquest for you like you usually do, you know where to find me.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 9, 2009 · 8:47 pm

Facebook Invitations – how far will they go?

If you are on Facebook I am sure you have friends who are users of these ridiculous (anti)social requests and invitations. I get them all the time. There is no end to the senseless applications that people use to try to socialize. Hey, you want to chat, comment on my status, send me a link? Great, I love to connect with old friends as well as new. But these hideous applications: ismile, farmville, mafia wars and now the one that surely crosses the line…

a feel your boobies invitation.

No, I did not make this one up. That graphic up there is an actual screen grab. Not gonna lie, it had me laughing.

It all started with my crazy HS friend whose Facebook status the other day was:

Listen I hate Farming and to join another family in Mafia wars would be crazy cause I cant handle my own.. SoooooooThe answer is NO.

The comments on this thread started to get really funny when she wrote:

I just got a” feel your boobies” request…has the whole freakin face book world gone mad…I kinda wanna say yes to see how they’re gonna pull this one off.

Hard to keep reading as I was laughing so hard. Then came this response from another HS friend:

would you please open your back door. I’VE BEEN OUT HERE KNOCKING ALL DAY!

and yet another:

OK so this form of fun is so much better than farming, mafia and so on. Let me know if your boobs get a rub down  as perhaps there are other feels out there!

So of course she sent me the request because I had to check it out. I am happy to report that not only is this application not porn (sorry guys, I know you were getting into this), but it is actually a breast cancer awareness foundation called, you guessed it, Feel Your Boobies, to promote self examination.

You can read about the app here and the join the facebook group here. Although I think this is a great program and I love the edge, it is unfortunate that at first glance on Facebook this was considered offensive or at best fodder for jokes. If I were not inquisitive and/or a student of social media I probably would have made fun of it, hit ignore and forgotton about it.

So, for my social media friends, was the use of Facebook for this program edgy or a fail? I am not sure where I weigh in on this. Again, being a lover of polls, let’s take a vote.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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