Monthly Archives: February 2009

And the Pigs Get Slaughtered

bacon_wallet

Oh how I love the ‘Deluxe’ Bacon Wallet. I am only sorry I did not purchase this for my brother the vegetarian.

Designed for those who bring home the bacon, this realistic looking item could only be improved upon if it were scratch and sniff.I guess that would have you being followed by all the dogs in the neighborhood.

I wonder if there is a meatloaf version?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Someone at Penn State Loves Me

penn_state

Ah, college touring. What parent does not love the idea of a few days of quality time alone with their kid? The kid, not so much. But this guy is a good sport. Like his sister before him, he humors my crazy ass with my binders, schedules and printed out directions and sits back for the ride trying his best to soak in the experience.

Being that this is the second time around I have found the best defense for boredom is to keep them laughing and to point out the absurd whenever possible.

This crazy blue haired beauty was in the window of one of the best college town shops I have seen in a long time, Peoples Nation, State College, PA. (you can look forward to many a blog post surrounding pictures I took in here). I particularly like the choice of shirt on this maniac-quin. This image is what freshman parents’ nightmares are made from.

I will be posting about the full college  touring experience over at 50-something mom blog soon. I will let you know when that is up.

For know, i could cry will be featuring the best of what makes my family laugh. Welcome to our world.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

Next stop, Maryland.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, college touring, humor, moms, places of interest

Dan in Danville

dan_as_prize

Seriously, it is not child abuse when they are willingly participating in a humiliating act. Actually, this is the second time Danny and I have staged a shot like this. We love these machines. It makes me laugh because when his sister was little we had more than one meltdown in front of one of these machines soon after I had used the words, “This is absolutely the LAST quarter”.

This weekend is college tour roadtrip volume one. Hard to believe we are doing this with ‘the baby’ but we surely are. The pediatrician was right, nobody goes off to college still wearing diapers.

On the long strange trip of Route 80 to Penn State from NY we came across a town called Danville and new that we HAD to stop there for dinner. At Perkins! Everyone loves Perkins! I have fond college memories of the Perkins in Rochester (at 3AM).

So this is Danny in Danville. And yes he carries my warped affection for the absurd. After all, I labored with this child on my birthday and he was born at 1AM the next morning.

We are practically twins!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, college touring, current events, family, humor, parenting, travel

Colon Medic?!

cm1

Colon Medic? Ew. Ew. Ew!!

Lose weight with your mate (oh jeez). Really, who wants to *flush out up to 25 pounds* in the presence of their mate.

Seriously! Nice Valentines Day celebration. Honey, we are so happy together and I want to share the relief of my constipation and bloating with you. Let’s remove deadly toxins and make beautiful music together. (use your imagination on that last one). I love the picture. Um, honey I would step away from the back of that guy and fast!

Oh, best of all it is FREE. Could that be because no one would actually pay for this.

Hmmm, shipping not included, terms may apply. What kind of terms, I shudder to speculate.

Where did this come from? I got this as an email blast. I am the target customer for this because…?

Alternate product name: Tusch Dr.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Hanging babes

hanging_dolls1

I am not sure what to say about this picture. Nope, I did not take this at the trusty art supply joint where I found the bustier purse, Ricky Martin lunchbox and tacky Marilyn Monroe painting, although these cuties would have fit right in there.

These scary little vixens were hanging (literally) in the local Rite Aid that used to be Eckerd (which I never called it) but was Genovese first. Of course I still call it Genovese, I am old school that way.

So there I was, talking to Danny’s 4th grade teacher in Genovese – mind you he is in 11th grade now, small town. We are chatting away about this and that like fed exing valentines to the girls away at college and all sorts of school district gossip.

And then I spotted them.

The metallic hair on the chick on the right must have caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks and said, ” I MUST take a picture of these”. And she was all, “you carry a camera?” sort of what is up with you crazy lady. There I was down on one knee getting a good angle on them and don’t you know she jumped right into the fun and said, “make sure you get a good shot of the combs that their heads are hanging from”. Wow, hadn’t noticed that.

The whole product line is pretty freakish. Who designs this crap?

And it is quite obvious I can ramble on about any topic on earth.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, communities, danny, humor, products

You never know what will come in the mail

yearbook_button_150

The other day I received a mysterious envelope in the mail that had an odd lump in the middle. I opened it and out dropped the button above wrapped in a flyer. Yes, that is my High School yearbook picture on that button. No joke!

Personally, I find this a little creepy. The idea that a classmate of 30+ years ago is scanning the yearbook and industriously making these odd buttons in his free time is just a bit staggering. The flyer had a line I love, “The 30th reunion was not well attended because hundreds of classmates were not able to be notified of the date”.

Um, no pal, the reunion was not well attended because lots of people are fat and bald 30 years later or perhaps they simply don’t want to see the kids from ‘the old neighborhood’. Believe me, I attended the reunion with my 3 best friends and we had lots of laughs. But seriously, the crowd was a little scary.

You know, there is a reason we lose touch with many people from high school.

Me, I have certainly lost a huge chunk of brain cells somewhere along the line. People would come up to me and put their hand over their nametag and say, ‘I bet you don’t remember me’. Hey good bet, I have no friggin idea who the hell you are sistah! Seriously folks, when you go to a reunion, don’t play that game. As much as we all want to believe we look the same as we did as teenagers, or worse that we were truly memorable to everyone that sat next to us in math class, we just aren’t.

So, would you join the yahoo group listed on this button?

Me, think I am going to pass. Facebook is enough of a walk down memory lane for this old chick.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, friendship, humor

Time to Cry Tuesday – A remarkable story

This Time to Cry Tuesday finds me retelling a story that I heard last week. I was at a photo shoot, working with this group for the first time. It was one of those perfect work days where all the planning worked out, the team was incredibly talented and they were all truly warm interesting people.

We broke for lunch and were chatting about this and that, when the prop stylist shared this story with us. She had heard it, of all places, from the Russian women where she gets her facials!

The story begins with a couple planning their wedding. There was a dinner for the extended families to meet. The grandmother of the bride and the grandfather of the groom were both Holocaust survivors. They got to talking and each discovered that the other was a survivor. They talked about carrying the tattoos of the camps throughout their lives as a reminder. The woman states her number and then the man recites his.

She stops cold.

“That could not possibly be your number”, she said.

“Of course it is my number, how could I make a mistake about something that I see everyday of my life. Why would you say it was not my number?” he replied.

“Because…” , she begins, “THAT was my husband’s number and I lost him in the camps.”

The room becomes silent as the two realize that after all these years – having survived, moved to the states, married others thinking that each had perished, built families and lives – they are reunited.

Some story, right?

As the stylist told the story she began to tear up. As did I. And everyone else in the room. In this work environment we all shared this unbelievable moment. We came to the conclusion that in the big picture of life these two had lost each other so long ago because their grandchildren-to-be were meant…

to be.

I love a good story of fatalism.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under relationships, Time to Cry Tuesdays

It’s an art school moron!

art-school

Ok, so now I am taking pictures of graffiti in public bathrooms. So what! It’s not like I am sitting on the toilet seat or anything. Jeez, don’t be so judgmental.

Sorry, I snapped there for a minute.

This out of focus commentary was found in the bathroom at a concert venue the other night. A very nice one I might add, tucked away in the sleepy town of Dix Hills Long Island at a place called Five Towns College. Twenty minutes from my house and I never knew this place existed. Go figure. Need to get out of the zip code more often.

So, back to the graffiti. I found this quite entertaining. “Why is this school so flippin’ ghey’!?” I had never seen the word ‘ghey’ before. As I have told the kids growing up, Gay is a sexual orientation, not an insult. Well apparently ‘ghey’ has nothing to do with being gay. Urban dictionary defines the word as ‘a derivation of gay meaning lame. meant to be non-offensive to individuals of a homosexual persuasion.’

The second line: “umm it’s an art school moron!”

Well, that about says it all. Writer #1, you have no business at an art school apparently, making you a moron.

Too funny.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, art, carry a camera, music

Making Lemonade from Dental Floss

frank_zappa

Any Zappa fans out there?

Today, after a long but highly productive and very fun work day out of the basement, I took an hour long train ride to meet Gary for a concert about 20 minutes from where we live.

Unfamiliar train station. Unfamiliar venue. Lost for 45 minutes in a 10 mile radius. Sounds fun right?

Luckily, I was too exhausted to get cranky and stayed calm.

We got to the show 45 minutes late.

There was one seat.

After 20 minutes, the ushers determine there was a broken seat in the row. Not our problem? Wrong. Printed on the ticket it says, “no seating after the show begins”.

So we sat in the back. And it was fine. The music was great and the venue fantastic. The Ed Palermo Orchestra is a must see for Zappa fans. And even if you are not, his big band arrangements of Zappa music is a real treat.

Moving to Montana soon, gonna to be a dental floss tycoon…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under music

Manicures & Martinis

manicure_and_martinins

If you glance at the calendar you will see that tonight is the first Thursday of the month and that means only one thing… First Thursday’s dinner. Tonight there was some show and tell. This is the only item clean enough to share but it is a good one.

Fertility is hot lately, what with a crazed mommy machine squeaking out 8 babies last week. Let me disclaimer this post so as not to offend. I think this concept is fabulous, one of my best friends had kids through fertility treatments (no really, that one is true) and I have worked professionally on fertility patient information materials. Yes I get it is a serious topic. No I don’t think it is in poor taste to laugh about… well anything. That is the whole point.

Now that we got all that out of the way…

I would like to start by stating that I would attend just about any event that promised free manicures and martinis. Honestly, you could sell me on the virtues of embalming fluid at an event like this. Brilliant!

It would seem that this group, The American Fertility Association, is running a few seminars to ‘chat with a leading fertility expert in a safe and comfortable setting’. Oh right, because a fertility clinic or a doctor’s office are extremely dangerous venues. You never know who will be hanging around places like that!

The graphic here is fabulous, but the copy? Not so much. We did not quite get the part about being in your 20s or 30s and simply not being ready to have a baby right now. So the reason those women would come to this event would be? Oh right!

Free manicures and martinis.

Our favorite part of this ad? (and I am quite proud, for I was the only one at the table who could still read the small type). They will also be offering alcohol-free Fertilitinis. What a great name for a drink. Could you imagine serving those at a club?

I guess you would drink them under the biological clock that is ticking above the bar.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, education, marketing, women