Tag Archives: humor

November 21, 2011 · 9:54 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Horoscope and the Fortune Cookie

I always pride myself in keeping a sense of humor through acute times. It is my defense mechanism and it has served me well. But I also know that stress is cumulative. And sometimes it gets the better of you. (could this explain the hives that have started around my ankles and are making a journey up my body this past week?)

Last week during the great flood of 11.11, when my washing machine decided to regurgitate its contents all over the side of the basement that was NOT being renovated, I started to… well I started to lose my shit. Not only did my sense of humor start to wane, but I actually began to panic; something I try never to do.

While the wonderful team from ServPro was dragging out wet carpets and ruined moldings, I was dismantling my office to move upstairs. There on my desk I found a fortune that said, “Your sense of humor always serves you well.”

Talk about a sign.

Then this weekend someone’s Facebook status was the Virgo horoscope for the day:

Well, talk about wake up call #2.

So, my friends, for those of you who have ‘been a little confused’ I would like to say I am back! Being a drag is a drag. And just to prove it I will show you this photo I snapped while leaving Whole Foods today. Just asking, is that what they mean by ‘Beyond’?

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October 5, 2011 · 1:04 am

Y Kvetch

I had an exceedingly ridiculous day replete with a car that died in a parking lot, a blackberry that kept crashing (but who cares, its days are numbered – iphone 4s is fine for now – they should have just called it a 5 – BTW), an iPad that kept dropping service, a cancelled meeting and yadayadayada.

So I figured, hey, Y Kvetch! I love this license plate. I saw it in a parking lot yesterday and laughed out loud. I always wonder, what drives someone to drive something with a plate like this?

Perhaps the owner of a Ranger Rover has nothing to kvetch about. But seriously, kvetching knows no socio-economic boundaries. And many times those with the most abundant lives have the most robust habit of kvetching.

So, after a day of nothing more than surface aggravation, albeit more than a usual day should have, the Y Kvetch sentiment fit the bill. Hey, maybe we should start a movement.

For those not of the tribe:

kvetch/k(ə)veCH/Noun: A person who complains a great deal. Verb: Complain.  

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September 2, 2011 · 7:14 am

We Bust Our Cubes for You

A big thank you to Uncle Neal for today’s photo. I love that people think of me while they are out and about and snap a shot here and there to send for my amusement (and yours, I suppose). I always loved a company named Acme; it reminds me of the old Roadrunner cartoons.

As Neal said, it is always comforting to know that other people are out there busting their cubes in this economy.

 

 

 

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August 18, 2011 · 10:42 pm

Kettle Ho

 

This one comes to us from Uncle Neal. Today was a big day for submissions. Sue sent another great one which I will use tomorrow. I love when I am sent blog fodder and I don’t have to come up with anything clever on my own.

This particular sign is just too good to be true – Kettle Ho. There is of course the kettle and the hoe… but then why drop the ‘e’ on hoe. And the mermaid? I hate to be crass but are mermaids anatomically correct to be able to fulfill the ho requirement?

Now it gets better. This place, in Cotuit, MA (how do you pronounce that?), is also the home of Mycock Real Estate.

So Neal, what did they serve there?

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May 26, 2011 · 12:13 am

What do Jesus and Sushi Have in Common?

Tough question, right? I am sure you are squinting at the details of the back of this car trying to find the answer. Disclaimer, no religious disrespect intended, I am just a lover of parody.

I came across this little gem of a Subaru in the supermarket parking lot. At first glance I thought, wow, this is one religious dude. On second glance I saw that this guy was hysterical. A closer look at the left side and I saw this:

Classic Jesus fish, or Ichthys. Not  so classic Sushi fish.

Panning  to the other side of the car I found these little gems of religious parody:

The ever popular Vegan fish. The FSM fish (I will get back to that one) and the completely irreverent Theory of Evolution Darwin fish. In the center was simply an empty fish. I think that one was trying to stand out. Or perhaps it was the void of religion in contrast to the other parody of religion types. Nonetheless they all clung proudly to the back of the trusty Legacy.

I had to do a little Googling on FSM and here is what I found. This stands for Flying Spaghetti Monster. Here is what Wikipedia served up for me on this.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is the deity of the parody religion[1][2] the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarianism.[3] In 2005, Oregon State physics graduate Bobby Henderson wrote an open letter about a “Flying Spaghetti Monster” as a satirical protest against the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to permit the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in public schools.[4] In the letter, Henderson parodied the concept of intelligent design by professing belief in a supernatural creator that closely resembles spaghetti and meatballs. Henderson further called for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism to be allotted equal time in science classrooms alongside intelligent design and evolution. You can read the rest here. (totally worth the click to see the artwork on that page)

In closing, all I can say is this whole thing only cements the idea that I MUST meet the person who drives this car.

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May 6, 2011 · 7:50 pm

Cat Hairball Jewelry… file this under Ewwwww!

I kid you not on this one. Thanks to my fabulous friend Tony O, I now know about jewelry made from the fur that your cat sheds. Today he linked to this post on ecouterre. The long and short (hair) of it is that Kate Benjamin of Moderncat  felt the need to mark the celebration of National Hairball Awareness Day (who makes these awareness days up, anyway?) and commissioned the wildly talented jewelry designer and friend, Heidi Abramason to make her some pretty cool looking stuff from… you guessed it, her cat’s hairballs.

Ok… Ewwww.

In case you did not read this post, I wrote about someone who made jewelry out of human hair so I guess this is not so far-fetched. (how does this stuff find me?)

Wait, can we get back to National Hairball Awareness Day? Is there a reason we need to be made aware of hairballs? Are they not glaringly obvious to cat owners and who the hell cares to the rest of us?

And the cat in this picture? Anyone else getting a major heebie jeebie from this kitty?

Just a tip, don’t buy me this jewelry for Mother’s Day if you were running out to do so… very allergic to cats. Oh, and vile things too. Those I am highly allergic to.

But for all you cat people out there (and you know who you are)… Heidi takes commissions.

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April 24, 2011 · 9:22 pm

Menu items

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This was a banner weekend for people sending me amusing pics and messages. The picture above was a winner, for sure. Thanks to Paul and Paula (yes I actually know a couple named Paul and Paula). They spotted this on Houston Street and snapped a pic to send me.

Gary and I can’t figure out if this was a joke, or a disgruntled employee leaving a final FU before they left.

If I had to name the one thing I love the most about blogging, it would be that I have created an infectious desire to stop and notice the funny things around us every day. Taking pictures and sharing them brings it to the next level. Not long ago people would just pass these things by, but with the popularity of social sharing this has become more commonplace.

Again, I am a trendsetter. And again it’s not billable (sorry Gary).

Thanks P and P, for thinking of me.

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April 8, 2011 · 8:29 pm

Stinky Dog

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Phone rings.

Me: (as I look at the caller ID and see it is my dog groomer) No Way! Laura? Does my dog smell that bad that you are actually calling me?

Laura: Seriously, what is going on with you? The damn dog has not been here since DECEMBER!

Me: Well, actually it is really not THAT bad, I had her groomed at the vet when she went through her diabetic episode back in… oy January.

Laura: Well, ok, that is still really bad.

Me: Have the neighbors been calling you to complain?

Laura: No, but you have to get that dog in here for a bath.

Me: Ok, book her. Hmmm… do you think I need to wash her bed now?

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April 5, 2011 · 6:03 pm

The Dog Ate My Computer (and other great excuses)

Of all the great excuses used over time for not handing in homework, the dog ate my computer might be up there with the best of all times. As a woman predisposed to photographing her neighbors’ garbage, this one impressed me more than most. I can’t quite figure out what went on in this house. I am equally curious and hesitant to find out the real story behind this one.

All I know is that it wasn’t Mel’s fault, she was just investigating. She actually turned around and looked at me with the ‘what the hell’ face. I had to get her in the shot because it reminded me of this great video that Emily posted last week. I am sure many of you have some 4-legged guilty parties living in your very homes that can relate.

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March 27, 2011 · 5:43 pm

Bathers with Diarrhea?!


This is an actual sign. It does not come from one of those sign generator websites that say things like ‘Merry Christmas from an Atheist’. Adding to the outright hysterical nature of this, it was sent to me via text from my most self-described germaphobic friend.

Her original question was, “Would you go swimming in this pool? We are at a resort in Alabama.” Wanting to give full respect to the residents of that fine state I would just like to ask y’all… “WHAT THE HELL?” The next question from my horrified friend was, “What do you think the ‘etc’ is. My answer was, “Leprocy”

Um… duh!

Ok, so let’s review this one. How do we actually verify whether the bather in question has diarrhea? Do we follow every living soul into the bathroom and wait? Now those with skin diseases and lesions, although they would be quite easy to pick out in a crowd I am thinking A) sitting in the sun by the pool might not be on the top of the list of their activities and B) the chlorine would probably hurt like hell so they would most likely not be inclined to go for a dip.

Now the ‘etc.’ crowd? They are going to be REALLY hard to police.

I suppose they needed to cover all the bases. You know, because most upscale resorts have all sorts of problems with this sort of thing.

” Oh Alabama. The devil fools with the best laid plan”.

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