Category Archives: technology

January 5, 2010 · 9:10 pm

Verizon Rocks

Seriously, you don’t hear that often, right? Always complaining about not getting what you need from giant Telecom? Well I would like to personally thank Veronica at Verizon customer service (no joke, I wonder if all the CS peops are alliterations), who felt my mom pain and allowed us an early upgrade on my daughter’s blackberry to an international Tour so she can BBM us from her semester abroad.

When does this happen? Um, hardly ever. For me anyway. It’s usually all sorts of fighting and carrying on to not get what you need. Thankfully Verizon recognized my family’s superior status as a quality customer and showed us some mercy. Either that or poor Veronica simply felt bad for me. Big Telecom with a personal touch, how lovely.

For those unfamiliar, BBM is Blackberry Messenger. This is like texting but it is internet-based and you do not pay per message. To translate that into dollars and cents, international texts, are 99 cents each, national are 54 cents. Let’s be conservative and assume she would only text the boyfriend three times a day (unlikely), her other assorted friends that she is traveling with 5 times a day, and us, well probably once a week or when there was a problem. That would be around $818 for the five months she is away. Yeh, crazy right? And those were conservative estimates.

These few little comments could have helped me get what we needed:

  1. Veronica, are you a mom? Ok, well imagine your daughter being in a foriegn country and not being able to stay in touch.
  2. You know Veronica, I am a rabid Apple user. I want an iphone more than anything but I won’t ever leave Verizon.
  3. What? You need to ask your supervisor? Oh, is she a mom? Tell her as a mom I would really appreciate her consideration on an early upgrade to help my family out.
  4. And my favorite of all times which really made her happy: Veronica, YOU ROCK MY WORLD!

The moral of this story? If you are persistent, personable and play on the mommy heartstrings you can usually move mountains. But you all new that already!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 17, 2009 · 9:48 pm

All thumbs

Texting, or BBMing (blackberry messenger texting) is the way many of us communicate these days. It is not only the kids that converse this way, now many adults do as well. The keyboard-based phones have revolutionized the speed in which we can now get our message out. Back in the day of traditional cell phones (jeez, that does sound ridiculous) we were forced to spell things painstakingly with triple keystrokes to get the correct letters out. The full keyboards have eliminated that awkwardness and helped us to type out error free, coherent messages.

Well, most of us.

Every crowd has one. The person who loves to converse in BBM and does so regularly. That person is sensitive, completely in touch, a responsible friend and the worst damn thumb typist on the face of the earth. Many try to understand her messages but few can decode the nonsense that rolls off her fingertips and out into the BBMosphere. I have gotten pretty good at looking at the letters on the keyboard next to the ones that have been typed to try to decipher her messages.

Oh, honey, you know who you are, and so do all your friends. But we love you just the same.

Full disclosure, I asked permission to write this and she is a damn good sport.

To give you an example of how funny things can with a friend like this, here are a few examples that happened during a not so funny time in her life this week.

First, she bbmd her husband who was picking up her daughter at college with an urgent message. He looked at it. Looked at it again. Then handed it to his daughter and said, “Can you tell what she is trying to say here.” The daughter’s response was, “Hmmm, there really is no way to tell.”

Later that day she sent me a message about her son having to have some unpleasant test while in the emergency room. Here was our exact conversation:

Me: Ew at 50. Ewwwwwww, kill me now at 14.

Her: That’s what linda said

Me: Who the hell is linda?

Her: Long Nails

Me: Linda long nails?

Her: no I mean that is what he kinda said. my nails are long for typing

Me: OMG, I thought the nurse giving him the test was named Linda and she had long nails.

I am happy to report her son is now ok. But during the afternoon we did get to talk about ‘ibtestines’, i found out that ‘whabdoesnt kill u makes us stronger’ and she shared that nails were a mess because she had ‘missee her monicrd’.

Yeh, well, better to be all thumbs than tongue tied, right?

Wishing a speedy recovery to a 14 year old who is a reeeallly, reeeallly good sport!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 11, 2009 · 8:30 pm

Have I Gone to Far?

pervert investi-

You know how you have to fill out these little captcha thingies when you are trying to post something on facebook so they know you are not a spammer? Well, if you don’t, then take my word for it.

So here I am posting something and the words that come up are ‘pervert investi-‘ which I am taking is the knickname for pervert investigation.

Uh oh. Did the vagina couch go to far? I mean, what the hell, I have posted about National Penis Day and the true meaning of Steely Dan before. But those were penis related. Could the va-jay-jay cross over the line and force the internet police to investigate a crazy old hag who has the nerve to list herself as a mom and family blogger?

Nah, just a coincidence.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 10, 2009 · 8:46 pm

A what kind of couch?!

vagina-couch

You can buy anything on Craigs List. Really, ANYTHING!

And I can prove that with this listing for…

The Pink Upholstered Vagina Couch

Yep, that’s right. I bet you were wondering what the picture was. Or maybe you weren’t exactly wondering because it is kind of obvious. But maybe you were thinking it was a Georgia O’Keefe sculpture.

I love the description in the listing where she says, “For Sale – beautiful pink “vagina couch” that I made in art school and no longer have space for.”

Ok, so what is she adding to her decor that leaves her with no room for this? A penis chair maybe?

This is even better:

“the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape.”

So what, this hey-nanny-nanny* couch has not seen all that much action, huh?

Thanks, once again, to cousin Frankie for pointing this out to me. Hey Frankie, what were you doing shopping for a vagina couch anyway?

* Gary term

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 30, 2009 · 9:32 pm

Technical flu

help-key

Forget about swine, I am suffering from something way worse. I’ve got me a bad case of the technical flu.

Now, I bet you are thinking that I am going to blame this on Mercury being in Retrograde, but oddly enough, I believe that ended yesterday at 9AM. That would be a few short hours before my garage door opener decided to stop working. As abruptly as it stopped, it started again. The 5 hour flu? Maybe.

Then my back up drive decided to freak out and time machine kept giving me error messages. After 2 hours and 3 levels of Apple tech, they deemed the time capsule ‘all messed up’ (I believe that is the tech terminology) and told me to erase the back up disk and start over. Yeh, well, I could have done that myself and saved 2 hours. But they were lovely people (all 3 levels of them) and I always feel a little better when it takes so long for them to figure things out because it validates why I could not do it out myself.

So Cosmic Charlie, or whoever else is messing with my crap, could you leave me be already and go pick on someone who has not been so battered by circumstance in the past few days?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 7, 2009 · 11:20 pm

Social Media Saturday – Facebook Profile Tattoos?

husband-tattoo

Since the whole reason for starting this blog was to learn more about the social media space, I thought it would be fun to start this new series, Social Media Saturdays. I will be taking a look at the pros and cons of social media and of course pointing out the things that amuse me.

For those of you who are not on Facebook, the image to the left is a targeted Facebook ad. And a ridiculous one at that. What targeted means, in lay terms, is that there is some kind of creepy algorithm that aggregates all your profile info – age, marital status, geography, Facebook behavior, professional affiliations and G-d knows what else, perhaps even your bathroom habits. This information is then used to create strategically targeted ads that, in theory, fill your personal needs. (Nothing revolutionary, online ad networks have been doing this for a while. Think Google Ads). Again, in theory, you will be inclined to click on those ads, buy those products and services and the world will be a much better place because you don’t have to see ads for stuff you don’t want.

NOT.

Once again, I will retain my MFTA (Magnet For The Absurd) status with this post. I am guessing that perhaps the sole reason why I saw this ad on my Facebook page was because I am a married woman. (or maybe it is because I have linked to my blog where I have written about tattoos more than once). One would guess that all married women get this one, and all married men get the wife version with Jane on it. But how far does the targeting go? Will my married gay male friends get the John version? Depends upon how evolved the ad network is – both technically and socially. And if I were to get divorced would this ad stop appearing and would it be replaced by a dating service. Probably.

Creepy? Definitely.

Back to the absurdity of the offering. Hey, I love my husband but just as I doubt I would tattoo his name on my ass, I probably wouldn’t do it to my profile either. I wonder if there is an ad for a tattoo removal doctor that follows after you add this to your profile.

This illustrates the level of nonsense that is cluttering the social media networks, most of which is just white noise to the users. You Facebook users out there, for the fun of it, start paying attention to the ads that appear on your profiles and leave the most ridiculous ones in the comments.

This should be interesting.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 16, 2008 · 9:20 pm

Technological Flu

technology

(no this is not a picture of my desk, but it was tempting)

Today was some day. I am pretty sure all the technology in my office got together while I was in the bathroom or making coffee and plotted against me. First, my email account decided to completely stop sending emails. Oh, it would receive just fine, but not a single message would go out. Luckily I am a lunatic with many email addresses, but this was the main one. Wait, was I being censored or just paranoid? Or both?

Then, of course, the blackberry decided to wig out because I changed the password on the email account in lieu of kicking the CPU (that rarely works).

When I plugged the digital camera into the USB port it opened the scanner software instead of the image download utility. Why? To mess me up of course!

For the last few days my large format printer has had a low ink blinking light on one of its eight color cartridges (does it really need light magenta to print? give me a break with the 8 colors!) Could this have been a signal to the other equipment to start acting up? What? This sounds delusional to you?

Of course today was an insanely busy work day, when else would all of this stuff happen? 

On my bulletin board over my desk sits a quote,

“When the mechanical-technological things in our life break down, it is not a personal attack on us. It is just the nature of the mechanical-material world”

Lovely. I feel much better, thanks. Makes half a lost day seem ok now (not!)

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 24, 2008 · 10:32 pm

Taxicab Confessions

One thing that took us by surprise in Vegas was how talkative and friendly the cabbies were. Not to say the NY cab driver is not a cordial breed. But honestly, I sometimes worry I will lose a shoe when getting out one because they are driving away before I fully get out.

Our last night in the City of Sin brought us to a wonderful restaurant about 20 minutes off the strip called Rosemary’s. (Thanks for the suggestion Jeff, it was amazing).

Every Vegas cabbie has a story. This particular one started to chat about the Northeast and why he left. He talked about having been very fortunate early in his career and raising 4 daughters in Westport, CT. Now this guy, he had a long gray ponytail and the look of many years of partying hearty. Not exactly your typical Westport resident.

Of course Gary had to ask him what he did. He told us he was a musician and had great success (um, then why are we driving a cab in Vegas, again?).

Gary: what band?

Cabbie: oh, a little band called ‘the iron butterfly”

Gary: Get the hell out of here. In-a-gada-da-vita?!!

Me: That was our wedding song (I was kidding, it was actually James Brown “I Feel Good”)

So, he and Gary go on to chat up music for the rest of the ride and I am squinting in the dark trying to get this guy’s name off the dashboard. He tells us that he played keyboard and sang. Being the blackberry detective, I look up Iron Butterfly and the names don’t match.

As we got out of the cab Gary asked his name. The name he gave was correct but certainly did not match his taxi license. Was this like his pen name for driving so people did not know it was him. Was he ghost driving?

Of course I had to go upstairs and do more Googling. What is wrong with me, don’t most people just gamble in Vegas.

He talked about playing Woodstock. The Iron Butterfly did not, they got stuck at the airport. He talked about growing up in Sty-town.  Doug Ingle was born in Omaha and grew up in the Rocky Mountains, then moved to San Diego. (uh, last I looked Sty-town was on the east side in NY).

My net of this experience?

Sometimes it is better not to have all that information at your fingertips. Wouldn’t it have just been cool to think that a past rock icon was our driver and he drove a cab so he could chat about the old days with people who cared? Here’s a great vintage vid for those of you who have been humming the song since I mentioned it.

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