A big thank you to Uncle Neal for today’s photo. I love that people think of me while they are out and about and snap a shot here and there to send for my amusement (and yours, I suppose). I always loved a company named Acme; it reminds me of the old Roadrunner cartoons.
As Neal said, it is always comforting to know that other people are out there busting their cubes in this economy.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor
If you have spent time in Madison, Wisconsin you would know Scanner Dan. He is sort of famous. He hangs on State Street, carrying a police scanner. He is a true character. He talks to himself and makes running commentary about the people that pass by. He is known to shout out sorority names as girls pass by, giving his opinion on their affiliation.
While I was in Madison last week, my Dan and I spotted him at an outdoor cafe table. I had to get this picture of Dan Squared.
My kids really are good sports, aren’t they?
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, danny, humor
Things have been a bit off-kilter lately. Not sure if it is because I have had this miserable cold, sinus, cough thing or maybe the stars are just aligning in a weird way. Yesterday was so damn crazy even I, the ever famous MFTA, was surprised.
In my post Madison, flying with bad sinuses, I can hardly hear anymore stupor, I sat at my desk yesterday and started banging away at my list as if it were any other day. Of course my phones have not been working correctly since Verizon went on strike. A coincidence? I think not. For a couple of weeks I would get static and crossed lines, only from 1-5 PM. Yesterday they were pretty much unusable. There was constant static, calls dropping, lines crossing… pretty much a train wreck. So I used my cell and called it a day after Verizon finally gave me a repair date this week as opposed to the September 16th date they gave me last week.
Around 11:30 my doorbell rang. I opened the door to a police man:
Him: (sort of looking behind me) Mrs. Levinson, are you ok?
Me: Well, I have a bit of a cold and cough, but otherwise, I’m good. Why?
Him: You dialed 911 and when we called back all we got was static.
Me: Nope, not me. My phones are not working, all I have is static. Wait, did you guys think I dialed 911 and then my lines were cut? Yikes. Sorry, it appears my phones are randomly dialing out themselves!
Just as I said that ANOTHER cop car pulled up. I am guessing these guys were not all that thrilled with what could have been going on here. (CSI-PW?)
I sent them on their merry way, thanking them for their attentiveness and went back to work. Around 2:00 I was sitting at my desk when my chair started to vibrate. Hmmmm… nice feature but I don’t remember installing it. Then all the stuff on the bulletin board started to swing. I ran upstairs and the keychain lanyard was swinging on the hook. When I called Gary and told him I felt an earthquake he told me I was crazy and it was probably a big truck.
Indeed. We’ll see who’s crazy!
Filed under humor, magnet for the absurd
Five years, two kids, hundreds of pounds of luggage and thousands of dollars at Bed Bath and Target and you would think I had this thing down pat already. Actually, the funny part is I really thought I did. Until of course I reached the rental car line at the Milwaukee airport and realized that somewhere between the security check at LGA and the very spot I was standing I had somehow…
LOST MY LICENSE.
Loud enough? I wrote that in caps because I want you all to understand the gravity of being 74 miles from Madison with upwards of 160 lbs of luggage, 150 lbs of boy and NO CAR. That’s right kiddies… almost 52 years old and I am still losing my license. I like to think of it as part of my charm. My son likes to think of it as one of my least endearing qualities.
After a few moments of OMG panic and what the hell are we going to do now behavior I figuratively slapped myself across the face and subscribed to my friend Jeanne’s famous theory, “Money is the answer, now tell me your problem”. Let me just interject with the fact that I do not really believe that, although outside of loss, health issues and affairs of the heart it is hard to argue the point that money can’t fix most things. It certainly fixed this problem.
I would like to thank my new BFF Jodi, from Step Ahead Services in Madison, WI who jumped in her town car and rescued me from winning the Loser Mother of the Year Award. If you are ever in the Milwaukee/Madison area please consider using their services. Not only did she drop everything and get to us as fast as humanly possible, she agreed to take us to Bed Bath/Target, stop at my hotel to drop my bags, a restaurant to pick up Danny’s keys from his roomies and ultimately to his apartment – all at no extra charge.
While waiting for Jodi I ran around the airport reporting the lost license to the airport sherrif’s department, where I met the lovely Officer James who had a hard time understanding my NY accent along with the brewing laryngitis from the plague I have been suffering. Then there was the fabulous Luce at the AirTran lost and found and of course the ever sympathetic crowd at the Enterprise office who were praying that I did not start to cry while begging them to rent me a car to an 18 year old. (no go, btw). Almost got them to drive us to Madison for the price of my rental.
The saga continued and yes I was able to fly back thanks to the fact that I have lost my license before and had a spare one that was not expired in my house (hold the comments on pattern of behavior, please). My hero Jimmy G just happened to be flying back to Madtown from Equifunk on Sunday and promptly delivered it to my hotel… indebted to that boy for life. AND of course my dear friends Linda and Richie made sure to rescue me to the bar that first night and help me see the humor in the situation.
All in all a lesson learned.
Don’t lose your damn license when you are traveling!
This one comes to us from Uncle Neal. Today was a big day for submissions. Sue sent another great one which I will use tomorrow. I love when I am sent blog fodder and I don’t have to come up with anything clever on my own.
This particular sign is just too good to be true – Kettle Ho. There is of course the kettle and the hoe… but then why drop the ‘e’ on hoe. And the mermaid? I hate to be crass but are mermaids anatomically correct to be able to fulfill the ho requirement?
Now it gets better. This place, in Cotuit, MA (how do you pronounce that?), is also the home of Mycock Real Estate.
So Neal, what did they serve there?
Here is another famous picture from my morning walk. I did not realize there was someone in this car until after I took this picture and started walking again.
Yes, I am a little concerned that one day someone is going to be less than thrilled that I am taking a picture, but till then I will continue to be unusually ballsy.
I posted this on facebook and found out from my old friend Brian, who owns a surf shop, that this is actually a sarcastic bumper sticker made by skaters.
That makes it ten times better, don’t you think?
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor
We came home the other night from a weekend away to find this sign on the bathroom. It was obvious that Jana had some friends over while we were away.
What I love about my kids’ friends is not only do they totally get my sense of humor, they spontaneously leave me notes in the oddest places. Thank you, Kate, for reminding us what we need to do and where to do it.
In the past I have also found notes in the cupcakes and a signed banana in the fruit bowl.
Let me say that again… doggie DRESS!!!
Seriously?
Here is an open note to people who dress their dogs in clothing.
Don’t.
Additionally, Kids on leashes, dogs in strollers = not ok.
Thank you.
Filed under absurdities, animals, carry a camera, humor
Yesterday we spent a glorious day on Fire Island. It was one of those picture perfect summer mornings when taking the ferry sets the tone for the wonderful day ahead. Years ago, we spent our summers there in share houses. Yesterday we were visiting friends who we met back then and now own a home just blocks away from where we stayed.
As we sat down on the top deck of the ferry I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. It struck me how that whole scene was flashback to those carefree days before kids, mortgages and a few decades of hard work had worn us down. These people were us back then and it was fun to revisit that time. One thing that has not changed are the silly conversations you overhear on that boat. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Me? I hate to shower alone when I am stoned. I INSIST that someone sits in the bathroom with me while I shower. (as an aside, she was adorable and I am thinking there was a line in her house for volunteers)
2. So, she was there last night and I have to say she is such a bitch. Then I get home and she had friended me. And I am like all, well I can’t ignore the friend request so I just gave her limited access.
Very.
Limited.
Access.
3. Did you see her wall this morning. I could not believe her x-boyfriend’s sister left this whole long thing congratulating her on her engagement. Even SHE knew her brother was an asshole.
Gary still marvels at my ability to keep a conversation with him going and still be able to hear these other things being said around me. I think that women have an innate ability to do that. It is sort of like auditory multi-tasking.
The boat home was a whole other story. We took the 11:00 which is the slightly toasted but not totally s–t faced boat (that’s the 1AM boat). We took a shuttle to the parking lot with a guy banging on a bongo and a sort of tipsy guy who commented a bit too loud and lot too blatantly about the size of the breasts of a girl leaving the shuttle. This prompted his date to start a round of a song she called “Your So Obnoxious” with half the shuttle joining in on the chorus.
Yep, a good time was had by all.
Filed under conversations, humor, travel
Hey kids, this looks like a good spot to picnic! Um, Grandma, what does that sign say?
I stumbled upon this scene at the Clearwater Festival this weekend. There was a festival-style food court with picnic tables all over the place. Whatever possessed the adults in this crowd to park here is beyond me. I am thinking it might have been the heat. Mom seems to be sucking down that iced tea like she really means it.
I love how they wrapped the tree in plastic to help avoid the spread of poison ivy. My question is what about the poor schnook that did the wrapping?
Hey kids, next week let’s go to the beach with shark infested waters.
Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor
i could cry but i don't have time 