Category Archives: current events

June 17, 2009 · 10:54 pm

She awoke and saw stars

star-tattoo-face

Here is an odd story. This ‘young housewife’, 18-year-old Kimberley Vlaeminck of Belgium, claims she asked for three little points on her forehead but the tattoo artist suggested three stars would be prettier.

Get this, she WENT TO SLEEP to avoid the pain. How the hell do you fall asleep while someone is tattooing your face?! Are they leaving out some details from this story – like narcotics maybe? I mean, we are not talking about removing a splinter, we are talking about injecting ink into your face!

She claims she awoke to 56 stars on her face; poorly rendered I might add. Nice look. As far as the tattoo artist is concerned, she was onboard with this until her dad caught wind of it and she pulled the nap story out of her hat. She is now suing the tattoo parlor.

I am reminded of my favorite line from Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:

Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it’s what you want before you commit…

Hmm, I wonder if this chick is considering motherhood.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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April 13, 2009 · 10:35 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Loss and the 300th post

Yes, this my 300th post. Hard to believe and usually a cause for celebration in the land of blog. But today I am here to write about loss.

And oddly what I have gained. 

It is hard to explain to those who are not part of this world of blogging and Twitter what a true community has been formed through a medium that would seem to be highly impersonal. 

I come from a generation where the openness and sharing of this world can be a bit overwhelming. For my age group privacy was cherished above all and there is a thread of paranoia about having one’s life out in the open. This makes the world of the mom blogosphere a bit foreign at times. But this week, once again, I have seen the power of the social web and what it can do for those in need.

I am fortunate to live in a community that takes care of it’s own in times of trouble. I have known this kind of support more than once and I am in awe when I see that sentiment replicated on the internet – amongst strangers! 

Beyond comprehension, 2 young babies publicly lost their lives this week.

The first, Maddie Sphor was the 17-month-old daughter of a fellow Silicon Valley Mom Blogger. This darling of the internet whose mom, Heather, chronicled her difficult pregnancy, premie birth and fight to thrive has been followed by many through her blog and twitter. This baby’s infectious smile has haunted us all as we try to accept the tragedy of her sudden death. Within hours funds were set up to help the family with expenses, over $30,000 was raised for March of Dimes and walks in her name were organized. 

One by one, twitter avatars turned purple in Maddie’s memory to show support for her family. These past few days those haunting purple avatars have shown me how much I have gained from the experience of the social web. 

As if this were not awful enough, just days later Thalon Myers, the 4-month-old son of another momblogger lost his life. 

The unthinkable. 

And yet from all misery comes good. The legacy of these families will live on as evidence that humanity is not lost.

As proven during the tragic plane crash that almost cost the Nielson’s their lives, and the overwhelming outpouring to find a kidney for The Domestic Diva‘s daughter, the social web shows us once again that we are made up not of nameless faces banging the keyboard.

We are all people. Sometimes acting more human than you could believe possible.

Love, prayers and thoughts to the Spohrs and  Myers families. May you find a shred of peace in knowing that the world grieves for your loss.

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April 10, 2009 · 10:39 pm

Holy Botox and Snorting Smarties (through a tampon)?

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This week in the news has topped out the absurdometer.

It seems a Staten Island preacher has been accused of ripping off nearly $85,000 from his congregation over three years to buy booze, botox and ‘nice clothes.’ Forgive me father but I believe you have snapped!

As if that were not crazy enough, now we hear about kids chopping up smarties and snorting them through a tampon?!! I swear I did not make that up. Click the link. That could be one of the sickest things I have seen in a long time!

Anyone else out there have a ridiculous story they want to share?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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March 6, 2009 · 8:16 pm

Gandhi for Sale?!

gandhi_auction_itemsAs I sat down to read the NYT with my breakfast this morning I was struck by the absurdity of a headline just below the fold on the front page:

Despite Outcry, Gandhi’s Meager Belongings Sell for $1.8 Million

I found myself reading that headline three times before it registered and sunk into my rather frazzled brain. In short, his modest possessions were put up for auction at Antiquorum Auctioneers in Manhattan today.

These simple items made up his daily life; wire-rimmed spectacles (not glasses, mind you, these are truly spectacles), a pair of sandals (these look mysteriously like the water buffalos I wore in the 70s), a bowl, a plate and a pocket watch. These five items were viewed with a yellowed copy of the January 30, 1948 issue of The Piqua Daily Call, an Ohio newspaper. The headline read, “Gandhi Shot and Killed Today”.

There was all sorts of controversy surrounding the auction which you can read about in the link above if you want the details.

For me, the irony is so overwhelming. Here is a man who, quite frankly, loathed the material world. Hey, if asked whether he would rather be thin or rich, this guy would have no choice but vote thin by default (that was for my First Thursdays).

Seriously, could there be anything more ridiculous than this? Well maybe perhaps something I read on twitter today from @BirdOnAWire55, “all hell breaks loose when Catholic student hands out condoms at a Catholic College…the whole world has gone crazy!”

The world is a strange place today, my friends. I will leave you with this thought as I enter into a much needed weekend:

Gandhi was once asked what he thought about western civilization. His response was:

“I think it would be a good idea.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 14, 2009 · 12:23 am

Dan in Danville

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Seriously, it is not child abuse when they are willingly participating in a humiliating act. Actually, this is the second time Danny and I have staged a shot like this. We love these machines. It makes me laugh because when his sister was little we had more than one meltdown in front of one of these machines soon after I had used the words, “This is absolutely the LAST quarter”.

This weekend is college tour roadtrip volume one. Hard to believe we are doing this with ‘the baby’ but we surely are. The pediatrician was right, nobody goes off to college still wearing diapers.

On the long strange trip of Route 80 to Penn State from NY we came across a town called Danville and new that we HAD to stop there for dinner. At Perkins! Everyone loves Perkins! I have fond college memories of the Perkins in Rochester (at 3AM).

So this is Danny in Danville. And yes he carries my warped affection for the absurd. After all, I labored with this child on my birthday and he was born at 1AM the next morning.

We are practically twins!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 7, 2009 · 10:22 pm

Porn industry seeks federal bailout?

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This is why I love Twitter. Anyone sick of hearing that from me? Tough, it is a mild addiction and it is not hurting anyone. Oh, and it gives me all sorts of things to blog about.

Today I found a link to this post about the Porn Industry seeking a federal bailout on CNNPolitics.com. The comments are as amusing as the brief post.

Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis are requesting a $5 billion bailout for the adult entertainment industry. It is not because the industry is hurting, but because, and I quote Flynt:

“…the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”

Nope, can’t make this stuff up. But we surely could use some pathetic play on words here, like ‘stimulus package’ or calling these industry leaders ‘humps’. Ok, cheap shots.

This goes to show you that even when the world is spinning out of control, the Spin Doctors are still thinking up new ways to get attention. Have to hand it to them, it got a laugh out of me.

Oh, and of course we must not overlook the other big political news today, Joe the Plumber Heads to the Middle East to cover the Gaza conflict for pjtv. A lovely little sound bit from good old Joe:

“Being a Christian I’m pretty well protected by God I believe. That’s not saying he’s going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance.”

Now would be a good time to shamelessly plug my Joe the Plumber merch on Cafepress.com. C’mon you know you are dying for a t-shirt or a mug.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 1, 2009 · 10:27 pm

Does this SUV make my ass look fat?

Fuel Crisis

Nothing like a ‘does this make my ass look fat’ post to start the year off right!

Once again, thanks to my BBFF MizLiz, another absurdity has been brought to my attention. I don’t know how I missed this one last week.

A Beverly Hills doc, Craig Alan Bittner, decided to power his car with the human fat extracted during liposuction. I kid you not. Fat contains triglycerides that can be turned into diesel. Basically we are saying the fatter the ass the longer the ride?

Should his patients be asking for doggie bags so they don’t need to stop at the gas station on the way home from surgery? My crazy friend The Bloggess kept berating her vet to give her the ovaries from her cat after she was spade, is this so different?

Before you run out and book yourself an appointment to shrink ‘er down and gas ‘er up I am sorry to inform you that Dr. Bittner has closed his practice to volunteer in a small clinic in South America. One where there is a gas shortage, you ask? Don’t start getting all warm and fuzzy about the guy, in actuality he closed his practice because he is involved in a lawsuit with 3 patients because he allowed his ASSISTANT and his GIRLFRIEND to perform surgeries without a medical license. The attorney for the 3 patients said he removed too much fat (is there really such a thing as removing too much fat) and left them disfigured.

Sure, but did they or did they not have a full tank of gas when they left?

You can’t make this stuff up!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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December 29, 2008 · 9:08 pm

Time To Cry Tuesday – Thoughts on Mojo

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Well friends, here we are; the final Time to Cry Tuesday of the year. In light of the insane place we have found the world at the close of 2008 I have thought a lot about where we are and how our collective Mojo has faired through the turmoil.

Ah, Mojo. How do you describe its essence?

First, to quote Wikipedia (who did we quote before Wikipedia?) Mojo is a term commonly encountered in the African-American folk belief called hoodoo. A mojo is a type of magic charm…

My kids’ favorite Mojo reference is from Austin Powers when Dr. Evil steals his mojo.

And of course, no Mojo post would be complete without a little Muddy Waters Mojo Working.

To me, your Mojo is what gets you up in the morning and drags your sorry ass through the day making sure that you have at least a few good laughs and meaningful moments during the ride. Mojo is that faint little smile when you remember someone or something that rang your bell, made you FEEL, gave you full technicolor. Mojo, in short, is the joy in life. The fuel to your passions. It is simply put, what makes you YOU.

What is my concern about our collective Mojo? Well, it simply can’t be healthy to wake up every day to the news of the collapse of the business du jour. Banks, auto companies, retailers, ALL those people and charities who drank the Madoff kool-aid. When does it stop and how do we manage it? Do we all swallow on big fat proverbial Xanax and suck this all up till the world shifts back?

Nope, it is like anything else, you just have to deal.

For me, when you lose your Mojo you lose your soul; the part of you that makes it worth being alive. In the face of whatever bad news or challenging circumstance you find yourself, it is that part of you so deep down and real that NOTHING can destroy. Oh, it might get some scars. And it will surely sag a bit and gray with age. But your Mojo, it is yours.

Don’t ever lose it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 15, 2008 · 10:06 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Success

Before I begin this post I must point out Jana’s comment on yesterday’s hamster post. “You forgot to mention how after she died we kept her in a shoebox in the outside refrigerator for over a month before we got a chance to bury her.” Yes, we did actually freeze the dead hamster in the garage freezer in a box that was clearly marked. From what we can remember the ground was too frozen to bury her so we ‘stored’ her in our little makeshift morgue… next to the frozen waffles. Ok, maybe a bit quirky, I will admit that. (see below on raising non psycho kids)

silosuccess-mugThese crazy economic times have made so many people re-evaluate the meaning of success. Honestly, if I hear one more person bring up this topic I will be tempted to poke them in the eye. So I would fully understand your disgust if you don’t want to read my 2 cents here (or should I say my 1.25 cents with the state of the market).

Nowadays, flat is the new up (thank you to my financial friends who brought this to my attention). Poor is the new rich. So how do we begin to reconcile the true meaning of success when everywhere we hear stories of people who have worked their whole lives, lived prudently and saved only to find themselves nowhere near the comfort level of security that they imagined. Or worse.

Let me redefine success.

Today’s definition of success is the ability to keep one step ahead. To continue to plug away and make it work. To love what you do, or at least not hate it, even if it is not as financially lucrative as it once was. To think creatively of new ways to make your life full instead of filling your life. To be truly successful is to take stock in what works in your life and be grateful for that . As my Nana used to say, to look at those below you instead of those above, for there are many more in worse shape.

To have raised healthy productive children (translation: kids who are not psychos in spite of our child-rearing techniques). To maintain a marriage not only in the good times, but in the tough ones (translation: to not kill one’s spouse with a butter knife in their sleep). To be a good friend to those in need and know how to lean when you need the help (translation: know who will be available to drive you to the emergency room – thanks again Rik).

In short, the doom and gloom could kill you way faster than the actual situation can.

So lighten up everyone. Panic never helped the situation.

How do you define success? (Tip: net worth comments will be scoffed at here)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 14, 2008 · 12:39 am

Do you want soap with that?

Seems there is a new trend of bathing in the dishwashing sink at fast food restaurants these days. This week a group of girls bathed in the sink (in bikinis) at a KFC in Anderson, California. They of course posted the pics on MySpace because…

they are idiots! When does this generation get that pranking and posting doesn’t work out? Let’s run by some other morons who did this and lost their jobs.

Timothy Tackett, the Burger King employee who did the bathing trick in Ohio back in April. This guy is a trip. Great hair and make-up. Watch this video at least halfway through, it is worth checking out his gloves. My favorite line from him: “I had been looking at the sink for like 2 months and I thought, that’s big enough for me to take a bath in”. (hmmmm, what is that black wirey thing wrapped around my fork?)

Then there is the famous cheerleader, Caitlin Davis who got thrown off the New England Patriots squad for drawing swastikas and penises on a fellow cheerleader and posting the pics on Facebook. (I still don’t get the combo swastika/penis thing).

I once had a client who was all sorts of burnt out on biz and told me the only question she wanted to ask at work was, “Do you want fries with that?” Kind of worrying about what ever happened to her…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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