Monthly Archives: October 2009

October 10, 2009 · 10:46 pm

Best Five Dollars I’ve Ever Spent

IMG_3941

This little baby only set me back $4.99 and I spent the better portion of the afternoon floating on her. When you talk about simple pleasures, this would be at the top of the list.

Nothing like a day of hydrotherapy, floating away in the Gulf, the temperature of a bathtub on a day in the mid 90s. THIS is the kind of job I could get used to.

This little weekend getaway is the culmination of a very long birthday celebration. Turning 50 has not been bad. Not bad at all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 8, 2009 · 11:27 pm

Tales of Open School Night

open-school

This was it. The last open school night. After 16 years, tonight marks the last time we will walk the halls – forever lost – searching for the right classroom.

Instead of getting all weepy about the end of an era I will tell you the funniest thing I heard all night. This is from a dad who always makes me laugh.

“I have spent the whole night following around the wrong middle-aged mom.”

He told me that with each frantic class switch he would try to keep up with his wife and each time followed the wrong ponytail down the hall, only to hear his cell phone ring with his wife on the other end reprimanding him for getting lost again.

Let’s face it, moms. We bring our husbands to these things to show the teachers that there are two concerned, involved parents in the household and we make sure that we sign their names on the sheets so they get credit.

Uh oh, now I am sure that I am in big trouble with all you REALLY involved dads out there, but please understand you are in the minority. Don’t get me wrong, Gary is into going(ish). He was very impressed with the SMART boards and the amazing course offerings… for real! But if given the choice I am sure he would prefer hanging out in the halls socializing.

Kind of like being back in high school, isnt it?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 7, 2009 · 8:32 pm

Reading this blog will make you smarter

brains

The NYT article, How Nonsense Sharpens the Intellect, by Benedict Carey, hits home here at i could cry but i don’t have time. Was Mr. Carey writing this article specifically for me, the Magnet for the Absurd? It is almost like he is directly promoting this blog by telling my readers that they will be smarter if they read me everyday.

A stretch? Maybe. Feeling a little egocentric these days.

Mr. Carey reports on a study by Travis Proulx of the University of California, Santa Barbara and Steven J. Heine of  the University of British Columbia that suggests witnessing the absurd  may cause people to feel the need to rid themselves of the uneasy feeling by getting highly involved in something else which appears to improve some kinds of learning. The brain gropes for something that will bring a person back to anything that makes sense. The study gives college students an absurd story to read and then uses a test that is a standard measure of what researchers call implicit learning: knowledge gained without awareness. The students performed quite well compared to a group who had read a coherent story.

I love this quote from the article:

“Still, the new research supports what many experimental artists, habitual travelers and other novel seekers have always insisted: at least some of the time, disorientation begets creative thinking.”

Hey, don’t know about you, but I am surely no stranger to disorientation.

Ok, so here is my test. Think about it. Say you wake up in the morning and read a blog post about the mirdle,or the mansierre or maybe even Uranus underwear. Perhaps the women in a parking lot with her pet bird or kids on leashes and dogs in strollers. Maybe you read about Relations Auto Body or a drive through Prozac Country. Or better yet, for those who were not here from the beginning, bathroom branding (wow I am getting a nice portfolio of this stuff, right?)

Now take a look at how you perform a difficult task or learn a new skill right afterwards. Perhaps you are a student, you read one of these posts and then take an exam.

Don’t laugh, I could be on to something.

Now, how can I monetize this…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 6, 2009 · 8:14 pm

Anti Monkey Butt Powder?

anti-monkey-butt

mfta momentHere is a little Magnet for the Absurd (MFTA) moment brought to you by my BBFF (best blog friend forever) Liz. For those who are regular readers, I have deemed myself the MFTA because, well because I can, but also because oddities seem to present themselves to me quite often. Now when people see absurdities they send them to me to blog about. How wonderful since I really did not have much else to say today.

This lovely product seems to have many uses. It is for those who do Butt Busting activities as well as those who sit on their but all day which makes their target market…

Everyone!

Since you probably can’t read the fine print it says:

‘Absorbs excess sweat and reduces frictional skin irritation.’ According to my son, I believe this condition is called ‘swamp ass’. (hey, he is 17, they have very frank descriptors)

It is also ‘Ideal for butt busting activities such as motorcycling, truck driving, horseback riding, bicycling and other extreme sports.’

A little hop over to their website is quite entertaining. Seems they have expanded the line into a ‘Lady Anti Monkey Butt’ and they sell apparel and merch too. I love the copy in the top bar of the site “Is your butt irritated?”

Hey you could powder your ass with this stuff and then put on a brand spanking new pair of Uranus underwear. This seems like the grown up version of Butt Paste, also brought to my attention by a reader. Yes, I am an infant. Did I not prove this when I posted about Doodyman, Call-A-Head and the Modern Toilet restaurant.

Ok, I’ll stop, I promise…

for now.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 5, 2009 · 9:37 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Bloggers for More Birthdays

For this Time to Cry Tuesday I am joining some of my blog friends in the American Cancer Society Bloggers for More Birthdays blog chain. As part of a continuing effort to create a world with less cancer and more birthdays, the American Cancer Society Blogger Advisory Council is harnessing the power of women in the blogosphere to build awareness and activism around this movement. We have been tasked with adding our voices and sharing a story of how cancer has touched our lives. So consider me harnessed.

There are moments in your life that change you forever. Some are joyful and others are devastating. You remember where you were sitting, what the moments right before felt like and how that turn of events changed the way you view the world from then on.

It started like any other ordinary day.

And then the phone rang.

It was my dad. He asked if I was busy or could I talk. He seemed distracted. And then he just said it. “Listen, your mom has breast cancer.”

So, how do you react to that one!? I will tell you how we reacted. The way we always do, as a family.

Taking my mom’s lead we all sprung into action and dealt with it. Head on.

My mom? She showed us a brand of strength that we would stood in awe of. She kept her wits and most importantly her sense of humor through surgery, treatments and the misery of hair loss. My dad? He showed up one day at my son’s basketball game with my mom’s wig on to keep us all amused. My brother? He kept us all going with his undying ability to keep it cool and point out the absurdities that kept us laughing. Me? I did the research and made the binders. Hey, what can I say? I am a Virgo, it is how I cope.

Throughout her treatments she was always concerned about the other patients. One particular day comes to mind. A women was there for her first chemo treatment. She was a young mom and was so very frightened. My mom sat with her, held her hand, looked into her eyes and helped her cope with what she had to face. She acted like… well, like a mom. The quintessential mom. Even through this, her most difficult time, she kept reaching out to others.

I am happy to let you know that mom has been cancer free for 7 years. She has walked in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, proudly wearing her pink shirt hoping to inspire others to find the bravery to keep going. Her philosophy has always been one of reaching out to help others. When I told her about Bloggers for More Birthdays she embraced the idea of the movement. “Anything that will help build awareness and early detection is something I want to be a part of.”

Thank you mom, for showing me what bravery looks like, and for keeping the glass half full. I love you.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 4, 2009 · 8:57 pm

Satellite radio and the simulated voice in my car

Lux_Audio_prem_audio_sys

I recently got a new car with a fancy tech package. This crazy automaton woman is constantly announcing stuff all the time. Frankly, sometimes I could choke the bitch.

But lately she has been the subject of some entertainment.

When the audio system is on (I don’t know, we used to just call this the damn radio) she feels compelled to announce the name of each station as if the big bold letters on the dashboard screen are not enough. The car has XM Sirius or Sirius XM or whatever the name is these days. I was spinning around the dial showing Gary how she says all sorts of station names because some of them sound really funny in her mechanical voice. Like Soul Town, that one is hysterical, so I made her say it a few times in a row until he almost smacked me in the head for kicks. Then I tuned into Underground Garage, but on the screen it is abbreviated as Undergrnd Garage. She pronounced it without the ‘ou’ and I realized that she was doing a character recognition voice simulation kind of thing.

That is when we heard the funniest one of all: Jam_On. Or as she called it Jam Underscore On.

Wait, are we the only ones who find this sort of thing amusing?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 3, 2009 · 11:44 pm

Spy Mix

spy-mix

Ah, the Spy Mix; every mother’s dream vending machine. I love the safety warning in the corner. It is the traditional choking hazard. “The small toys, balls or marbles in this machine are not meant for children under the age of three.” The fact that these are weapons and handcuffs is not a problem, we just don’t want your toddler choking on them.

I saw this in a vending machine at the movie theatre. Anyone else find this an odd thing to have in a suburban movie theater? I can picture the little boys pumping quarters into this sucker trying with all their might to get those handcuffs, only to find out they will are too small to restrain anything bigger than maybe the cat.

Or how about walking into the local emergency room with your kid having one of those little guns wedged hopelessly up their nose.

What ever happened to the machines with those really big pieces of gum? Wasn’t that enough?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 2, 2009 · 7:01 pm

Store for Problem Feet?

problem-feet

Stopped at a red light on the way home from a soccer game, I spotted this store. Thankfully the camera was not too far from reach.

Hmmm, problem feet? A whole store that caters to them? I would think maybe an aisle or a small department, but a whole store? And what kind of problems are we talking? Bunions, flat feet, too wide, too narrow, club foot? Maybe some freakishly large middle toe that throws you into a size or two bigger than you would normally wear?

“Can I help you ma’am?”

“Oh yes, I have problem feet.”

“No, problem here!”

It amazes me that a place like this would be able to thrive. Granted it is centrally located and easily accessible from parkways and soccer fields. But seriously, how do they make their rent every month?

Show of hands, how many of you actually suffer from problem feet out there?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 1, 2009 · 6:05 pm

Another Reason to Love NYC

Pak-Bangla-Indian-Italian-seafood

Thanks to my friend Sue, of the ‘why don’t you just start a blog already’ fame, I bring you this photo of one of NYC’s more versatile eateries.

Pak-Bangla-Indian/Italian/Seafood – slash a little bit for everyone. I love the use of hyphens and slashes on this signage. And I particularly love the Psychic sign above it from the establishment next door. It is easy to read your mind about what you are in the mood to eat when we serve just about EVERYTHING.

I wonder if the other side says Chinese-Japanese-Korean/Kosher/Vegetarian.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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