August 23, 2009 · 8:33 pm

College Mom Buys Crack in Madison Alley

alley

Okay, this is the last of the college move-in trilogy of posts. Here is a little anecdote that will amuse you. It is vintage Amy.

I went down to the recycling room of Jana’s apartment building to dump boxes. As I heard the door click shut I realized that I needed a keycard to get out. Of course I did not have my cell phone.

This was a classic Amy situation. All I could think of was this was like an I Love Lucy episode. This was in the back of the building and all the banging in the world would never get me out of there.

Before I had a chance to panic I found an unlocked exterior door that led into an alley. This would have been fine if I did not come out just as friends were standing across the street calling Jana’s cell.

“Hey, what were you doing in that alley?”, they asked.

“Um, buying crack?”, I answered.

I think they thought that was funny.

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, college, humor, Jana, moms

Tagged as , , , , , ,

August 22, 2009 · 11:56 pm

College Move-in, Big Box Style

big-box-logos

This post is dedicated to all you fellow parents out there partaking in the annual ritual of moving your offspring into the countless institutions of higher learning across this great land.

You know who you are. All of you flocking to the big box stores, veteran patrons of the Bed Bath and Beyond retail brainstorm: ‘pack and hold’. Consumers of everything that is not nailed down in Target’s ‘College ’09’ aisle. Walmart, Costco and Best Buy fans. If you are anything like me, around hour 36 you were resembling some sort of parental Night of the Living Dead character wandering around the aisles insisting on ridiculous items like shoe organizers and storage bins ad nauseam; the last shred of your sanity gone out the window with your third Starbucks of the day.

Seriously folks, we have surely lost our minds, have we not?

And if I were to guess correctly, most of you went off to college with some big ass ole Bose 901 speakers, a few cinder blocks and wood boards, a couple of orange and milk crates and an album collection that took up three quarters of your parents’ car.

There were no fashionable color coordinated canvas storage bins or over the door hooks, no shower caddies or must have bed in a bag sets. You had some clothes, a few towels, the old linens from your parents’ house an indian tapestry bed spread from the headshop and you were good to go.

Show of hands please, how many of  you had the coordinated dust ruffle for your bed? Yeh, that’s what I thought. Come to think of it, we did not even have bed frames, the fashion of the times was box spring and mattress on the floor. Anybody out there feeling like their college years were somehow not fulfilled because they did not own the ShamWow, or its pathetic copycat, the ShamEase (whose name is not nearly as cool).

So what has made us fall into this trap? Oh right, because we created it. We are the As Seen on TV generation of parents and damn it our kids’ will be organized and color coordinated even if it makes us broke!

Hey, I am not pointing fingers. I am as guilty as they come. You might recognize me as the woman who was wondering up State Street in Madison, WI muttering about the third curtain rod I bought that was finally the right size while searching for a hardware store to buy a rubber mallet.

Don’t ask!

(Stay tuned tomorrow for the funny stories)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

11 Comments

Filed under absurdities, college, humor, Jana, moms, parenting

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

August 19, 2009 · 9:36 pm

College Move In: Year Three

University-of-Wisconsin-Madison

Year one was the year of the space bags. I was simply out of my mind. Seriously, the dog was nervous that she would find herself in one of these bags with the air sucked out of it with a vacuum. It was the year of the famous 10 lb. dorm room in 5 lbs. of luggage.

Year two was the sorority house move in. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 90 degrees, of course no air conditioning, 3 flights of steps, a lost printer and the embarrassing UPS story about the lost 21 lb. box of shoes.

I swore I was done with move in and move out, but when your kid is only home for 3 days in August you sacrifice some sleep and break every nail on both hands just to squeeze out a little more time with her.

This year lacks drama big time. Home from camp on Sunday, upack, 13 loads of laundry, and re-pack. This kid is amazing, in 45 minutes she packed for a whole semester. It took me longer to pack for the 2 days I would be gone. In my defense there was a weather check and I had to make adjustments.

So off I go to Madtown, one of my favorite places. With my daughter, one of my favorite peops.

I am sure there will be a few good blog posts out of this one.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under education, family, Jana, moms

Tagged as , , ,

August 18, 2009 · 10:04 pm

Button Sale

button-sale

This was one of those sights that made me stop and laugh out loud. This is the window of a local dry cleaner. You know, the dry cleaner that is always sending your clothes back to you with the missing buttons.

Well here is a news flash, folks. There could very well be a conspiracy going on out there. Dry cleaners all over the country could be popping the buttons off your clothes, filling jars with them and placing them in the windows of their establishments offering them up for sale.

I think it is time to blow the whistle on them!

I must go in and see how much they are charging.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities

August 17, 2009 · 10:13 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Transition

DANNY_baseball

Miriam Webster defines transition as 1 a : passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another : change b : a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another.

As parents, we define transitions as those pivotal moments that define us.

I have never transitioned particularly well when it comes to my kids. The year my daughter “graduated” from the 4s class I told that to the pre-school director in passing. To my surprise she quoted me moments later when making her speech. It seems that sentiment hit the nail on the head for her.

It is so bittersweet to watch our kids move on to the next level. They usually float from transition to transition with much less apprehension than we have. Perhaps it is part of our desire to protect them. Or maybe we are just trying to hang on just a little bit longer to the previous stage we have become so attached to.

Funny thing about parenting, the better we get at it the more independent our kids become. In some ways, we facilitate our own obsolescence. Isn’t that the natural order?

It is that time of year folks. Back to school no longer means a new box of crayons and color-coded binders and folders. (what? all families don’t do that?). This year, in my house, back to school means college applications for my youngest and back to college for my oldest. Not to mention that 7 of my close girlfriends are sending off 7 daughters and a son in the next few weeks.

This is the mother of all back to schools!

So here I am, right before it all starts. And yesterday my son’s oldest buddy drove up to the house hours after he arrived home from camp. There he was, sitting behind the wheel of a car, and all I kept thinking was how can this be that adorable little boy I have known since he was born? How can he be over 6′ tall and driving a car? And then with the sweet demeanor of that same little boy inside him he said, “Oh, Amy, come here. I keep forgetting to show this to you. For some reason I have been carrying this around in my wallet.” And out he pulled the baseball card above of that 40 lb. 3’8″ little blonde boy. Danny at 6 1/2!

Thanks Robbie, for bringing back that time and reminding me that no matter how many transitions we experience, the foundation we have built will always keep us all close.

Let the games begin.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under danny

Tagged as , , , ,

August 16, 2009 · 10:30 pm

Everyone in their own beds… for now.

1 jeep.

2 very tired offspring.

10 loads of laundry.

1 blissfully happy mom.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

Leave a comment

Filed under family, moms

Tagged as , , , , ,

August 15, 2009 · 10:43 pm

Shiti?

shiti

Was it a coincidence that I saw this guy today? The same day that the above the fold story in the NYT Business Section was titled U.S. Weighs Action of Citi’s $100 Million Dollar Man.

This article outlined the absurdity of the situation. In a nutshell: bank falters and threatens to go under, government bails them out to the tune of $45 billion, bank honors a contract to pay one guy $98 million and another a dwarfed $30 million in comparison.

Do we not think this might piss perhaps a FEW people off?

Ok, I may be grabbing at straws here but if this guy is ‘worth’ $100 million now isn’t it safe to say he has been banking a ton of dough over the years. What’s he worth? (and who really cares). Point being, is it not worth it to lay down on the big bucks to keep yourself from looking like the biggest pig on wall street (which is quite a feat)? Exactly how much is enough?

My thought? the whole thing is pretty Shiti.

Oh, and New York Times, you have an error in the 5th paragraph, first sentence. The word ‘that’ is in there two times. You must have been focusing on the correct spelling of ameliorate in that same sentence.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

Leave a comment

Filed under absurdities, current events

Tagged as , , ,

August 14, 2009 · 10:48 pm

Woodstock Celebration

I was just shy of 10-years-old during Woodstock, yet somehow I always felt a part of it’s generation. The music, the vibe, the sentiment; it all carried over into the seventies during my teen years becoming the soundtrack of who we were. Hippies at heart, I suppose.

I am fortunate enough to live in a town where a great disc jockey and rock historian also resides. Pete Fornatale graced us with a lecture and Q&A followed by part one of the Woodstock movie at our public library, another jewel of this town.

In thanks to Pete I will plug his book, Back to the Garden, which looks like it should be a great read.

And just because every time I see this video I laugh, I will leave you with this hysterical ‘translation’ of Joe Cocker’s Woodstock performance.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

Leave a comment

Filed under book review, current events, music, rock 'n roll

Tagged as , , , ,

August 13, 2009 · 9:37 pm

Nesting Like a Crazy Old Hag

nesting

Odd phenomenon, this nesting thing. Three days and counting till my kids come home. Where the hell did the summer go? There sits that list of ‘Things to do while the kids are away’ on my desk and there are certainly not enough check marks next to tasks.

Solution: mommy hyperdrive. Only this year it is more reactive than proactive. For instance we finally replaced the front lamp post because it snapped at the base and fell over in the wind. Hence the electrician was called to re-attach the fixture and while he is here he can fix the stuff that we have ignored for at least five years awhile.

Dinner conversation:

Me: The electrician is coming tomorrow.

Gary: Good, did you buy the timer for the basement.

Me: Oh, yeh, that. Um the hardware store didn’t have one. But I did pick up your hair gel.

Gary: Great (thinking that the electrician probably has no use for his gel, not to mention he could very well be bald).

Me: Oh, he needs to go in the attic to see why all the high hats and fan in the bathroom don’t work.

In Unison: NOT THE ATTIC (picture a horror movie scream here)

Gary: I just had tea (earl gray with honey, of course), I am not going up there in the hot attic.

Me: Fine, I’ll go!

So he went up to the attic (he is not  a fool) and started handing down things I had no intention of parting with tonight. For example: the shopping bag of Danny’s kindergarten Thanksgiving decorations, Jana’s cow lamp from her nursery, bags of old pictures. (yes I am an attic pack rat) STOP! The idea here is to clear a path to the part of the attic above the bathroom, not to actually clean it! Let’s just move the crap around like we always do.

Hey, at least he did not call me a crazy old hag like the last time he went up there.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under conversations, family, homeowner, humor, men and women

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,

August 12, 2009 · 9:52 pm

Some of my best friends are gay

frank-selvaggiNo seriously, I know this line is cliché but everyone loves an attention grabbing post headline. Call me a blog whore if you must.

I don’t often write about my friends but this one could not go unmentioned. I have never been more proud. I have written about Frank once before over at 50-something moms with the catchy title I am in love with a gay man but don’t tell our husbands. (again, the blog whore reared its ugly head)

I have known him more than half my life and consider both he and his husband, Bill, family. At the darkest times in our lives Frank and I have always been there to pick each other up off the floor and dust each other  off. And in turn when there is something to celebrate we are always on each other’s short list of who to call.

As a gay activist his passion is second to none in raising both funds and awareness as the co-chair of the Empire State Pride Agenda. He has been a driving force for marriage equality in this country, which would make sense for he and Billy have not only the strongest marriage I know but also had the one of the best weddings I have ever attended.

The reason for this post is to congratulate my dear friend on his appointment to the board of directors of Signature bank. With tears in my eyes I read the statement that included his marital status. You have come a long way, my friend.

As I always told you, “All good things in all good time.”

Congrats Frank Selvaggi, I am so very proud.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under friendship, politics

Tagged as , , , , ,