August 15, 2011 · 10:14 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Ants, Leaks and Static on the Phones

It would seem that I have been having a smackdown with my house of late. And I am losing horribly.

For the past few weeks, along with the help of my exterminator, I have been battling a never-ending war with ants. They are determined to taunt me. Everywhere. In the bottom of the (ancient) dishwasher. In the corners of the bathroom. All over the buffet area in the dining room (thankfully after I served brunch). The last one was of horror movie proportions.

Sunday morning I, like many of my fellow Northeasterners, awoke to a deluge that could not under any circumstances end well. There was the usual water in the sump pump – almost overflowing before we were able to drain it out. Then the requisite spots in the basement that no french drain could hold. But the living room couch?! As my daughter said, “This is a two story house, how could the ceiling on the first floor be leaking?” (some weird gutter physics I do not care to go into).

And then there were the phones. Yes folks, my two lines are crossing and the static is unbearable. The online check from Verizon told me it is not on their lines (yeh, right) and lucky me… they are on strike! They would be happy to schedule me for service…

on September 16th!

But none of this really matters all that much. For Sunday morning, as I jumped between killing ants and chasing leaks, I was preparing to have my whole family at my table for brunch. Brother, sister-in-law, nephews, (and a girlfriend), cousin dog, husband, daughter, son, mother and father.

Honestly, who really cares about a house that taunts you when you can have a day like that?

A friend read me a line from a book the other day and told me she was sure I could have written it. I loved it so much I started to read the book. (Three Stages of Amazement, by Carol Edgarian – if you are interested) This was the line, “It was life, this crazy life, and if you didn’t laugh it broke you. It broke you anyway, but it was better if you laughed. 

Sort of sounds like the original premise of this blog, doesn’t it?

BTW, if you need to reach, me try my cell. And if you are wondering what to buy me for my birthday, a nice big can of Raid and a wetvac would be lovely.

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under homeowner, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

August 14, 2011 · 10:58 pm

Happy Birthday to the World’s Best Mom

No, not me! I would never be that self-serving. I am talking about MY mom.

This weekend we celebrated a very special birthday with my mother. Through some miracle and lots of corralling of 3 generations of cats, we were able to get the entire family together. Even Danny made it – fresh off the camp bus.

A huge thank you and hugs forever to the Chef love of my life, Don, for making this meal over the top amazing. Big plug for Valentino’s on the Green (might I highly recommend EVERYTHING on the menu)

As my mom put it so eloquently in her little speech after dins, having everyone all together in one place made turning this rather strange number worth it.

Here’s to my mom, the bravest woman I know. Wishing you the best birthday ever. May you always feel the love that surrounded you tonight, and know that we are all blessed to have you in our lives.

Now, if all you readers would be so kind as to come out of the woodwork, please wish mom a happy birthday.

8 Comments

Filed under aging parents, family, holidays

Tagged as , , ,

August 11, 2011 · 9:02 pm

LUVMYWIFE

Is it me? Tell me that no one else sees these things on a regular basis. It is uncanny how they present themselves to me; and so often in the early hours of the morning when Mel and I are walking (note her little paw in the bottom right corner of the photo).

The owner of this van was about to get into it when I stopped him and asked if I could please photograph his license plate (yes I actually asked this time). He sort of smiled sheepishly and told me that women love this. I asked who ordered it, him or his wife and he gave me a sweet little evasive smile.

I sent it to Gary. This was our conversation later in the day:

Me: Did you get my email?

Gary: Yeh.

Me: Funny, right?

Gary: Did you ask the guy if his wife was carrying his penis around in her pocket all day?

Gotta love my husband. Or should I say LUVMYHUSBAND.

5 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, gary, license plates

Tagged as , , , ,

August 9, 2011 · 6:17 pm

More Great Garbage

I know what many of you are thinking, “she is becoming some sort of creepy stalker taking pics of her neighbors’ garbage all the time”.

Yeh, so what? Admit that you, too, take some unexplained pleasure in the oddities that I find lying out by the curb on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

This one comes from my favorite house. These are the same people that brought us The Dog and Kandinsky , The Headless Garbage, and the ever famous VanGogh Vodka with frames. I don’t know who these people are but I really would like to be friends with them.

For today’s shot I had to get off the phone to take the picture with my godforsaken Blackberry. As much as I cannot wait for the iPhone5 to arrive with its dazzling 8 megapixal camera, there is something fabulous about how this shot came out, don’t you think?

How to Become CEO and Getting Married… both in the garbage. So, do you think they have achieved both goals or have given up?

3 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, garbage

Tagged as , , , , , ,

August 8, 2011 · 10:57 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Put me in coach

Last week I received an email from the famous Thread. If you are not familiar with these fabulous friends of mine you can read about them here. If you are not inclined to read more than one post from me today, in a nutshell, these are my college friends. And let’s just say I am way out of college! But they have remained my friends forever and we share our lives on an email thread that has been going for years.

Last week, one of our own hit the heights of paternal joy. Not many get to experience this one, and we are all happy to live vicariously through him.

After the email went out I am pretty sure I heard a collective parental gasp and sigh all around the country. Thanks, Uncle Neal (no, I do not know why we call him that) for sharing the joy of one of your oldest friends with us. It went something like this:

Congrats to David Goldschmidt (Goldy). His son, Paul, was called up to play in his first Major League game for the Diamondbacks last night in SF. (He and his wife were there). He is 24 and got married last year to his college sweetheart. I have met him over the years and he has grown into a really fine man. Google him. He is quite impressive.

Wishing him all the best of luck and success in the big leagues. His dad was pretty good in Little League, too.

By the way, the kid had a hit in his first big league at bat! Not too shabby!!

As if that were not thrilling enough, the next night he HIT A HOME RUN!

After all the congrats were sent and the proud dad sent us a quick note telling us What a Long Strange Trip it’s Been, Uncle Neal caused yet another cross-nation tear-jerker with this one:

Goldy, I still get to call you Goldy, right? Ernie, (Dave’s father or as I affectionately call him, Mr. G) must be out of his mind. I remember, in your old house in Natick, your dad had a photo of Ted Williams hanging in the den above the TV. Who knew that 40 years later, you would have a son that would deserve to have his photo up on that wall!

Look, I am not a big baseball fan. And I (sadly) have lost touch with this friend over the years. But last week we were all family again. And one of our own had hit the bigs. All of us parents who drove carpools to sporting events, spent late nights in the ER with sprained ankles (and worse), raced home from work to catch games that ultimately were rained out or our kids were benched, knew the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat if only on the Varsity level… we all watched as our friend got the biggest payoff of all times.

His

kid

made

it!

And there is nothing better than sitting in those stands watching your child realize his dream.

5 Comments

Filed under sports, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , ,

August 7, 2011 · 11:51 pm

I Shlep

This could be my favorite license plate of the year. For those who are not of the tribe, or don’t live amongst the tribe, to shlep is to carry clumsily or with difficulty. But an alternate definition is ‘an arduous journey’.

Arduous indeed. If those window decals are for real I would say there was a hell of an arduous journey to get all those offspring through those institutions of higher learning. If you can’t read them in the photo they include: UPenn, Wharton, Cornell, Columbia University Law School, Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Harvard Law School… all on a 25-year-old station wagon!

It could also be very possible that this person just bought all these decals with no affiliation whatsoever to these schools.

But somehow I think not.

10 Comments

Filed under carry a camera, cars, license plates

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

August 3, 2011 · 12:28 am

Pop Pop Snappers

This crazy little item was at the counter of a local ice cream parlor. They had all sorts of retro toys like the ever popular Fart Bag, Stink Bomb and Bomb Bag. I am wondering why the vocabulary for these items was so repetitive.

What caught my eye on this little lovely was the usage suggestions:

Bang drop it seemed like an odd description but I can pretty much visualize that one. But ‘throm’ it? Is throm actually a word? I don’t think so. In fact when I google it all I get is a page of sites about thrombosis – an unlikely and rather unfortunate substitute.

So, do you think this is a slang word or was this packaging created in an english as second language factory?

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, products

Tagged as , , , , , ,

August 2, 2011 · 12:12 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – There’s no place like camp

This sign hangs on the owner’s house as you enter camp. It just about says it all. It is hard to explain this to someone who has never been fortunate enough to find the kind of connection my family has found to this place. I have written about it before, more than once, actually. But I always seem to find just one more way of articulating a place that has meant as much to me as any other in my life.

It’s not just the camp, although it is sort of the sacred ground of both my own childhood and that of my kids. But the surrounding area is so amazing. There is a clarity about being there. The way the air smells. How the water feels. The chill of the early morning and the hot sun of midday. The stars at night. There is nothing like the great expanse of a starry night in those mountains. It is a sight I will never tire of.

No cell service. Winding roads through beautiful mountains. Clear lakes. It is all so untouched. Or as untouched as it gets these days. Back when we were kids there were party lines and no new houses. Cell hot spots and new homes have sprung up in the closest town, but not a lot. For the most part the place looks very similar to the way it did 30 years ago. What a gift, to be able to visit the scene of your childhood with so little changed. There are no words to explain that elation.

And the best part. The part that I will never tire of being thankful for, is that my kids know the exact same feeling. Their bond may even be stronger. Not just because it is still so current, but because these times allow them to keep the link to all those people so effortlessly.

Life is long and camp is short, but if you are lucky, you can carry it with you till the day you check out.

Leave a comment

Filed under camp, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

July 30, 2011 · 11:12 pm

Sure signs you are not in the Greater NY area

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t remember ever seen signs hanging side by side for both a Rifle and Chainsaw raffles. Why is it that the only thing I can think of when I see chainsaw is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

In my neck of the woods, raffle prizes differ slightly.

 

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities

Tagged as , ,

July 28, 2011 · 10:11 pm

Danger…

Another great shot from my friend Sue. The same one who brought you Social Media Explained from a bathroom stall. I am convinced she hangs in the most interesting buildings in NY. Hey Sue, were these in the same building?

So, let’s think about this sign. What are the dangers of rapping in the elevator?

1. Perhaps you would make someone angry enough to cause a fight.

2. You could become so engrossed in the act of rapping that you would press all the wrong buttons causing the elevator to malfunction. (unlikely)

3. Or maybe the building hipsters just thought this was funny.

Now even a mundane elevator ride or a visit to the bathroom can be amusing. Nothing bad about that.

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, music, signage

Tagged as , ,