Category Archives: parenting

November 24, 2008 · 8:00 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Help save a life

donateSince I have begun his crazy world of blogging I have witnessed some of the most remarkable outpouring of caring I have ever experienced. Friends ask me about the ‘relationships’ I have forged here and give me that look of skepticism when I tell stories of true connection. You know that look, the yeh, right these are your ‘friends’ kind of look.  

People voice fear of stalkers and weirdos, perverts and losers. Ok, so the web has its share of these social misfits but, hello, so does the real world. Do we put ourselves at risk when we venture into social media forums like blogging, Twitter and Facebook? Sure we do. But in my estimation the benefit undeniably outweighs the risk.

We have seen acts of kindness beyond description through the tragedy suffered by the Nielson Family. An online auction spear-headed by a single post on a poplular blog, designmom.com, began the fund-raising efforts that have reached almost $250,000 since August. Team Whymommy supports a fellow mom blogger living with inflammatory breast cancer. These stories are countless and part of a future post I am planning so on to the point of this very special Time to Cry Tuesday appeal.

This one hits so close to home as my sweet daughter is coming home for Thanksgiving. We feel so grateful that she and her brother are healthy and thriving. As a parent, the experience of a child with a serious health issue is your worst nightmare. If you have lived through it on any level, you know first-hand. If you have not, it does not matter for you project and pray for the families who do. But you need not be a parent to be touched by this story.

Please join myself and countless bloggers and twitters who have stepped up to help spread the word about a family in dire need. The Domestic Diva, a blogger and mom, has sent out a plea for help. Her 15-year-old daughter is in desperate need of a kidney. Read her latest updates here. For those who hate to click the link here is the abbreviated story:

She has been moved to NY Presbyterian-Columbia University Hospital (NYP) in hopes their additional living-donor kidney programs will save her life.  Not only will NYP consider family members as donors, but are willing to evaluate EVERYONE (friends, associates and kind strangers) who wants to donate a kidney.  That’s right…EVERYONE regardless of blood type, antibody mismatch, age, etc.  

Please help spread the word. If you do not blog you can still help. Send this link to your email list, post it on your Facebook or other social network page. If you do blog, consider posting about this.

Thank you all for visiting, and having a good cry. After all, it IS Tuesday.

As an illustration of how powerful the blogosphere is, check out what my blog friends Jessica and Amy have to say. 

UPDATE 11.25.08 10PM: The Domestic Diva has informed us through Twitter tonight that the hospital has never received so many donor applications. If donor is agreeable and further testing goes well docs want to schedule transplant for the day after Christmas. The power is amazing!

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November 17, 2008 · 10:11 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – the reasons why Gary had kids

I first saw this questionaire on Yellow Jeep Blonde. Her sons did such a great job with it that I had to force ask my kids to do it too. It is a little long but a fast read. Last week I posted their answers for me. This week I am posting their answers for their dad, Gary. Wait, that sounded like we are divorced. Although he might like the idea of getting rid of me at least once or twice a week, as far as I know we are still happily married.For those who are new here, Jana is our 19-year-old, and Danny is our 16-year-old. Again, I urge anyone with kids to try this out. As the title of this post states, it reminded us why we had these kids in the first place; to grow up to be two of our most favorite people on earth!

Enjoy!

What is something I always say to you?
Jana: Do you want sushi for dinner? (that would be the night he ‘cooks’)
Danny: Schmohawk (a famous word passed down through the generations)
 
 
 
 
 
What makes me happy?
Jana: Winning in tennis 
Danny: Tennis (both answers a no brainer)
 
What makes me sad?
Jana: Losing in tennis
Danny: Work 
How do I make you laugh?
Jana: There are too many ways to write them all down (aw, sweet)
Danny: The toddler dance (this is absolutely so hysterical I must convince him to do a video, perhaps some coaxing in the comments could make this happen)
What was I like as a child?
Jana: Hippieee
Danny: Jew fro (again, with a little comment coaxing, maybe a picture will be in your future)
How old am I?
Jana: 52
Danny: 50 something
What’s my favorite thing to do?
Jana: Lie on the couch and watch TV with me (sweet)
Danny: Feed mel food off the table, so that mel loves you more and to piss mom off (funny and true)
What do I do when you’re not around?
Jana: Yeah, what do you do? 
Danny: sing charaoke (once again, video anyone? give us some comment love)
If I became famous, what would it be for?
Jana: Something involving music. Radio DJ possibly? (he would love nothing better)
Danny: Most amount of cd’s obtained by a human (creative)
What am I really good at doing?
Jana: Making me laugh (true, he is funny)
Danny: PIssing mom off (ouch, ok so maybe I do get annoyed at times…)
What am I not very good at doing?
Jana: Sitting in the car without saying anything while I’m driving
Danny: remembering/hearing things
What is my job?
Jana: Printer (kind of?)
Danny: printer
What’s my favorite food?
Jana: Everything… and to eat too much of it and complain about how full you are at the end of the meal
Danny: You eat everything (consistent)
What makes you proud of me?
Jana: That I have the Dad that everyone loves (true, true, true. i believe they say he is ‘chill’)
Danny: Your sense of humor 
If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
Jana: Bugs Bunny 
Danny: Daffy Duck (hmmm, double looney tunes. interesting says the woman called kermit the frog and lois from family guy)
What do you and I do together?
Jana: Listen to music… Let’s go to more concerts together, k? (suck up!)
Danny: Watch sports and movies (lots of couch time in this house!)
How are we the same?
Jana: We both have a good sense of humor and love music/tv
Danny: Sociable (for sure!)
How do you know I love you?
Jana: Because you tell me everyday. (yes he does)
Danny:  Because everyday when I am so tired I can barely speak you tell me so when I get out of the car

Yeh, that last one made me cry too.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 10, 2008 · 10:43 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – the reason why I had kids

I first saw this questionaire on Yellow Jeep Blonde. Her sons did such a great job with it that I had to force ask my kids to do it too. It is a little long but a fast read. Actually my 19-year-old, Jana, did it in less than 24 hours. Danny, the 16-year-old, needed a little more constant incessant nagging coaxing to do it. Nonetheless, the result was the same. I urge anyone with kids to try this out. As the title of this post states, it reminded me why I had these kids in the first place; to grow up to be two of my most favorite people on earth!

This week I will post the answers they gave for me, next week I will do the ones they had for Gary. Of course I had to add my commentary on some of them. (come on, you know I can’t shut up!)

Enjoy

What is something I always say to you?
Jana: Keep your eye on your own prize. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
Danny: Be all that you can be.
 
 
 
 
 
What makes me happy?
Jana: Reading on the couch in the living room with blanket and family dinners with the 4 of us. (yes and YES)
Danny: puppies (corny, but yes. c’mon, who doesn’t feel happy from puppies)
 
What makes me sad?
Jana: Sad books? Or maybe when the school budget doesn’t pass. (she must be traumatized from my years of volunteerism)
Danny: George W. Bush (that’s my boy!)
How do I make you laugh?
Jana: When you curse more than I do. (um, yeh, well perhaps I should take a look at this)
Danny: By being ridiculous (are you getting an odd picture of my parenting?)
What was I like as a child?
Jana: Probably less crazy than you are now. (true)
Danny: Artsy (true again)
How old am I?
Jana: 28 (I thought Danny was the suck-up)
Danny: According to you… 30 (oh, right, he is)
What’s my favorite thing to do?
Jana: Go to the beach. (you bet baby!)
Danny: Think of ways to torture me (typical!)
What do I do when you’re not around?
Jana: Sing out loud in the car… oh wait, you do that anyway.
Danny: Sing “everybody was Kung Fu Fighting” (not only do I sing this often, they gave me a birthday card with the sound chip – they encourage this behavior)
If I became famous, what would it be for?
Jana: BLOGGING
Danny: blogging (one can dream, thanks guys)
What am I really good at doing?
Jana: Listening to me complain. (I have had lots of practice)
Danny: making fun of dad (in a loving way)
What am I not very good at doing?
Jana: You’re good at everything Mommy 🙂 (again, sucking up)
Danny: math (for sure, but honestly no one is going to mention sports?)
What is my job?
Jana: To make me happy. KIDDING… graphic designer/ soon to be professional blogger. Is there such thing? (there sure is)
Danny: graphic designer (yes STILL)
What’s my favorite food?
Jana: Eggplant (I can’t believe you know that)
Danny: I have no idea (I guess that is fair)
What makes you proud of me?
Jana: How dedicated you are. (wow)
Danny: People respect you. (wow again)
If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
Jana: Kermit the frog (yes, we know kermit is a muppet, not a cartoon)
Danny: Lois from Family Guy (we LOVE Family Guy)
What do you and I do together?
Jana: A lot.
Danny: Lots of crap.
How are we the same?
Jana: We HATE shopping (yes we do)
Danny: Diligent (yes we are)
How do you know I love you?
Jana: Because you tell me everyday. (yes i do)
Danny: You tell me constantly that when I leave you will be found rocking back and forth in the corner. (yes i will!)

And there you have it. Just when you thought they weren’t paying attention!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 5, 2008 · 12:01 am

Oh Oh Obama!

Hard to believe but I am kind of speechless.(I said ‘kind of’).

Sitting here listening to the last speech I will have to hear from John McCain for a long, long time I am in awe of the perseverance of the man I am very proud to call my president. Let me add that McCain was quite gracious while his audience was not. As my friend Gibs just said, he was way more sincere in defeat than he was in debate.

In celebration of this historic event I am posting a part of Jana’s photo essay of the election on campus.

Yes baby girl, anything can happen. The man they said could never beat Hillary… did. The man they said could never survive the Republican attack machine… did. I am so very happy for you that your introduction to the voting process of this great nation has been so historical. (even if the mechanics in Wisconsin were kind of lame)

callyourmom_small

dreams_small

obama-sticker_small

poster-in-leaves_small

vote_poster_small

badgers-for-obama_small

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog where Jana joins in the election bloglove.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 27, 2008 · 10:45 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Halloween (vol. 3) Style

What a good sport Danny is, don’t you think? I picked this up at the craft store and I am sending it to Jana in her surprise Halloween package (which is no longer a surprise once she reads this).

Please note the two day stubble on his chin. Which leads me to the nostalgia of Halloweens past and the fact that my ‘baby’ friggin shaves!

Today was the little neighborhood Halloween parade on my street. Or I think it was but we were at a soccer game so the only evidence was the police barriers left behind. When did Gary and I stop running this sweet little parade?

Was it not just yesterday that Danny begged to be a cowboy, wore the costume all month and then the day of Halloween lost his mind and insisted he had to be a Ninja? Wasn’t Jana just wearing that cute little Devil with the Blue Dress On costume that I made her? Was she not walking down the street in the bluebird costume with my in-laws wearing fake noses and glasses (they were always such good sports).

Ok, so this sounds a little too Sunrise, Sunset? I know, but I am not done yet so if this is too sappy for you I will be back tomorrow with something crude again (um, Dr. Jimmy, that could mean you).

Seriously, I just miss those bedlam trick or treat evenings with the kids running in all directions and the dogs barking. I loved walking from house to house with them (especially Linda’s where the parents got a glass of wine while the kids got their candy). We always seemed to lose one kid for a little while (hmmmm, could have been the wine from Linda’s house) but they would turn up eventually. I miss that nauseous feeling of too many dips into the kids’ candy bags and how great the pizza tasted after all that sugar.

I miss staying up all night to make costumes when they were little and years later being the house the girls came to when they made their own because we had the best craft supplies. And I miss them sleeping over and taking pictures in my driveway and then driving off to school in their costumes together. (Sloany, Rik, you could be crying about now, no?)

I am usually good with this growing up thing, but Halloween? How much is a sentimental mom supposed to suck up?

Anyone have a little kid out there I can borrow?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich and Sarah Palin Condoms show up here as well.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 23, 2008 · 10:19 pm

Aliens on Post-its

Rifling through my desk drawer looking for a post-it I found a pile of yellow ones at the bottom. Hmm… what’s up with this ratty pile of old post-its?

Then I turned them over. And there they were. In all their glory. Pre-school Jana (now a college sophomore) drawings! A dozen of them. The past in my desk drawer. Cool. (Janny, i know you are reading, how excited are you to see these again?)

Aren’t these a riot? 16-some-odd years ago this was her signature style.  I am thinking that we might need to resurrect it. I love these people. I am pretty sure the Jana sigs on here were done by my nanny. Not my hand writing and thinking if she drew like that she couldn’t write that well.

So what do you think? T-shirt line. Look at these friggin’ faces. We could title them. Bottom right would certainly be WTF.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 22, 2008 · 6:47 pm

Does this gum make my ass look big?

A friend once bought me this gum and I could not stop laughing. (thanks Cath). You can buy this gum here if you are so inclined, but that is not what this post is about.

As women we are always torturing ourselves about weight. For those who don’t know me, I try to balance my love of food, distaste for exercise (sorry Gary, but this is not news to you) and my desire to look good in a pair of jeans. Other stuff too, but jeans are what I wear the most. Weight is not a huge problem for me nor do I focus on it more than the next vain, aging woman. It is not necessarily a losing battle but lets just say I am still trying to drop the baby weight and my youngest is 16.

I have managed to successfully raise a daughter who has a pretty healthy attitude towards eating and body image. I attribute this less to what I have done but rather the luck of the draw and I thank my lucky stars every day for it. We try to stress healthy eating but the bombardment of media images, celebrity (anti)role models and peer pressure are some pretty serious bullets young girls have to dodge.

All that preachy-shut-the-hell-up-and-let-us-watch-the-friggin-video-already stuff aside:

Watch this, and think about it. I, for one am thrilled that this was created by a sorority on a college campus. Of course I am late the party for the initiative that took place last week, but the sentiment is timeless.

Bloggers, if you want to post the original YouTube link you can get it here.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms where I discuss rabid soccer moms. And at 50-Something Moms Blog… Poor is the New Rich.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 20, 2008 · 9:24 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Let the Daughters Speak Out

I first saw this video on PunditMom, a fellow blogger at 50-Something Moms blog. (I simply love her daily commentary).

Sorry email subscribers, you probably won’t be able to view this video without going online to the blog, but I urge you to do so. This is very powerful.

Hey, I love a good Sarah Palin Condom or an SNL sketch just like the rest of them, but my fear is that we have all gotten so caught up with Joe the Plumber, hockey moms, mavericks and you betcha’s that we are mired in the satire and don’t stop to really consider the ramifications. I had a friend say the other day that now is not the time to be a one-issue voter. That our country is in such turmoil we need to look outside our personal pet issues and vote for what is best for this country. Thankfully for me, both of those ideas go hand in hand.

If you have a daughter, this one will give you chills. If you are a women, it will make you feel proud of the generation that is speaking out in this piece. Hey, and if you are a (straight) guy, there is a good chance you can ‘get you some’ if you send this to your significant other. (sorry, even Time to Cry Tuesday needs a little levity).

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October 12, 2008 · 9:31 pm

Advice to my son

This is going to be a new series. I have decided to give Danny a piece of solid advice whenever I can. Occasionally, when I have compiled a nicely balanced list, I will post it here.

I am thinking I can establish myself as the teen advice-giver. What do you think? Well, perhaps you may need to sample a few posts before you actually want to share these with your own kids.

I figured this is my last chance to leave my mark on the little bugger. Now Janny, I know this might be pissing you off right about now because I never did this with you, so consider this for your ears as well. (Except when I mention body parts that you don’t have). And there may be one thrown in there for you once in awhile

Here is the first list. It is in no particular order.

1. Be all that you can be (not in the military way). I have actually said this to my kids every day before they left for school, right before they roll their eyes and walk out the door muttering some unsavory name under their breath.

2. Never spend money you don’t have. Credit card debt is a nasty hole you don’t want to fall down. (believe it or not I said this just before the financial crisis hit, I am sounding less stupid to him now).

3. Never show your penis in a business setting. This pertains to a story that I wish I could, but can’t share here. Danny’s response was, “what if I go into the porn business.” Note to self: decide if this is concerning.

4. Keep your eye on your own ball. This one works for everything but is especially crucial during college prep.

This one actually came up the other day in a conversation with Jana (since she thinks she is the more interesting child I figured I would throw her in):

5. Your true friends are the ones that will hold your hair back when you puke. To those who have done this for me in the past – and you know who you are – thank you from the bottom of my heart and back at ya anytime you need it. Or the grown up version of that which is ‘the ones that sit in the emergency or surgical waiting rooms with you’ when you get older. Why does it sound like puking is more fun in this context?

6. Don’t do crack. I figured this might be obvious but it can’t hurt to mention it.

7. Try not to hit anything when you are driving. Again, kind of obvious but he just got his permit and I thought it would be good to start with the fundamentals.

8. Don’t marry an asshole. Not sure how this one came up but it did result in him telling me that he thought I would make a good mother-in-law. Sweet, I will try to remember that and bite my tongue till it bleeds so as not to prove him wrong.

I am going to open this up for comments. Give me your best shot. I will compile and do a ‘Readers Advice to Their Kids’ post from the results, so I urge you to please join in.

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October 9, 2008 · 10:03 pm

EVERYONE loves a girl fight (vol. 2)

For those who have not read EVERYONE loves a girl fight (vol. 1) you can read it here.

I am sure there were similar conversations at Yom Kippur Break Fast tables throughout the Jewish community nationwide this evening. Wait, probably not. Our family is… well let me put it this way, you are never quite sure what will be said at our table.

Brother-in law 1: HS was much rougher when we went. There were fights and greasers.

Danny: Well, there are some fights but when it is guys it gets broken up pretty fast in fear of someone really getting hurt badly.

Me: Ok, I see what you are driving at…

Gary: Yeh, EVERYONE loves a girl fight.

Danny: Oh, I forgot to tell you! I missed a girl fight the other day but when we passed by where it happened there was hair on the sidewalk!

Me: Oh, jeez, here we go again. (note to self: de-program son from neanderthal behavior)

Brother-in-law 1: Of course everyone loves a girl fight. The best part is when their boobs pop out.

Me: I give up! But this will make a great blog post!

Brother-in-law 2: Oh, and don’t forget how we hope they kiss and make up at the end.

Me: what could be better for a guy, a girl fight and then girl on girl!

And this my friends, is why you can never really tell what will be said at a family gathering.

To all my menopausal readers, do me a favor please visit my BBFF at Flashfree and take her menopause poll. 

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