Category Archives: products

March 8, 2009 · 7:52 pm

Would your man wear a mirdle?

mirdle

I almost missed this one last week and then remembered something on twitter that mentioned the ‘mirdle’. Having a little time to myself on this fine Sunday I thought I would Google it and have a look see.

I have brought you a few other male foundation garments in the past. There were mantyhose, spanx-like pantyhose for men. And of course the ever popular mansierre.

This ‘mirdle’, or as the manufacturer, Equmen calls it, the ‘Core Precision Undershirt’ is quite the garment. Let’s see what they have to say about this baby:

Gently pulls the shoulders back while compressing the core. Targeted ventilation maximises breathability. Moisture-wicking action keeps you dry. Improves posture, supports core muscles, optimizes form, controls body temperature and visibly streamlines.

Hey, what doesn’t it do? Translation: makes fat guys buff. Check out the diagram:

singlet-catalogSeriously, this has way too many arrows. And honeslty, look at the picture above. Are we to believe that these guys get their shape from this undergarment. Why don’t they have a before and after pick of the fat schlub who is desperate enough  most inclined to purchase this item. Which, by the way is $99! Even the pricey bras don’t cost that much!

Here is something to think about. Are we, as a society, now leaning in a direction of manorexia? Is the obsession with thin now leaking over to what was once the more clueless sex. Think about it. All those years that the big fat guys would walk down the beach with their guts hanging out, are those days over?

Nah. I think, perhaps the mirdle just won’t make it. At least not at that price point.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under products, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , ,

March 8, 2009 · 12:02 am

Butt Paste

butt_paste

People like to send me absurd things from time to time. I have a reputation for having a deep appreciation for these sorts of things.

This one did not disappoint. A big thanks to Joyce for finding this beautiful example of product naming that tells it exactly like it is.

Butt paste, my friends, is that gooey stuff that you use to coat your kids behind. Name it what you may, it looks like this item is nothing more than repackaged zinc oxide. My favorite part is the claim that it has a ‘pleasant smell’. Oh great, so in case you want to sniff your babies ass you won’t be offended.

Love the goofy illustration of the baby with the big ears and the goofy look on his face like…

well, like someone just spread a nice thick layer of butt paste on his tush.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

9 Comments

Filed under absurdities, products

Tagged as , , , ,

March 4, 2009 · 10:56 pm

Cougar Barbie

I have written about good ‘ole Barbie  before. I am fascinated by all the attention she still gets. Do little girls still play with Barbies? My daughter had them but I don’t remember caring all that much about them. Seems they were alway naked and those damn little shoes were always getting stuck in the vacuum. I am sure someone got one stuck up their nose at one point.

Today I was talking to a client about turning 50 and after we hung up she sent me this video. It gave me my laugh for the day. How can you resist the idea of *dream botox* and pole dancing accessories?

Hope all you cougars out there – of any age – enjoy it.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

3 Comments

Filed under absurdities, products

Tagged as , ,

March 1, 2009 · 12:06 am

Feeling a bit pig-headed?

pork-brains-milk-gravy

These lovely morsels came to my attention from my old friend Nina (thanks Nin). I love when people send me disgusting things to blog about. Makes me feel I have really honed my brand. You know, everyone in the blogosphere has now become ‘a brand’, guess mine is the queen of absurdities.

Back to the, um, PORK BRAINS?! People really eat these? They make Spam look like health food. Check out the circled portion of the label. 1170% cholesterol. What? I don’t get that.

Looking at the ingredients, I was rather impressed that this can is almost 100% brains. Seriously, do you know anything that is 100% brains? Would you want to? Sure there is some milk but there is less than 2% water, corn starch, salt and sodium nitrite. You know, all those pesky additives that are bad for you. Not like good wholesome BRAINS OF A FRIGGIN’ PIG.

Oy, eating these can’t be ‘kosher’!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

Leave a comment

Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Tagged as , , , , ,

February 20, 2009 · 6:42 pm

OCD Action Figure

ocd_actionfigure

I know what you are thinking, ‘where does she FIND this stuff?’ You know, I think it just finds me. Once again let me disclaimer this post with the fact that some of my best friends and family members are leaning towards the obsessive compulsive direction.

If you remember awhile back I came across the famous Albert Einstein Action Figure. I loved that one. These items are starting to clutter my office. Perhaps I need my twitter friend @erdoland from unclutter.com to come in and organize all my toys. Erin, you might like this item!

Take a look at this baby. The accessories are the best part. Who would not love to carry an Obsessive-Compulsive Sanitary, Hypoallergenic Moist (not dry) Towelette in their bag?

On the back of this package there is a list of famous obsessive compulsives. I will disclaimer as I did not fact check and am only writing what is on the package:

Howard Hughes (no surprise)

Charles Dickens (please sir, i want some more moist towelettes)

Mark Summers (Double Dare host, that is pretty funny)

Hans Christian Anderson (hmmm, wikepedia mentions his bisexuality but not the OCD piece)

Florence Nightingale (I think OCD is a good quality for a nurse)

Woody Allen (oh right, that this one is a shock)

Charles Darwin (did he line up the apes or did he not?)

There is also a list of questions and a rating system to decide if you are an obsessive compulsive.

I am not. But I am surely a psycho.

Have a great weekend all.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Tagged as , , , , , ,

February 19, 2009 · 9:16 pm

Believe in God…Instantly

believe_in_god_breathspray2

I simply LOVE the addition of the word *instantly*.

Just another one of those precious products that I found on my travels. I love the woman in the picture. Notice the Photoshop rendition of the cross around her neck. Oh my!

And the copy in the yellow circle ‘miraculously PEPPER-minty faith-enhancing breathspray’ The As Seen on TV logo gives this sucker some serious validity.

Really now! Surrender yourself to a higher power and never feel alone again?

All that in a handy pocket-sized breath spray. AND you get good breath as an added bonus. What more could one ask?

One question, though. Can you really TM the phrase Believe in God? I find that hard to believe.

Do you think they sell these at religious institutions?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, marketing, products

Tagged as , , , ,

February 15, 2009 · 10:01 pm

And the Pigs Get Slaughtered

bacon_wallet

Oh how I love the ‘Deluxe’ Bacon Wallet. I am only sorry I did not purchase this for my brother the vegetarian.

Designed for those who bring home the bacon, this realistic looking item could only be improved upon if it were scratch and sniff.I guess that would have you being followed by all the dogs in the neighborhood.

I wonder if there is a meatloaf version?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

1 Comment

Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Tagged as , , , ,

February 12, 2009 · 8:56 pm

Colon Medic?!

cm1

Colon Medic? Ew. Ew. Ew!!

Lose weight with your mate (oh jeez). Really, who wants to *flush out up to 25 pounds* in the presence of their mate.

Seriously! Nice Valentines Day celebration. Honey, we are so happy together and I want to share the relief of my constipation and bloating with you. Let’s remove deadly toxins and make beautiful music together. (use your imagination on that last one). I love the picture. Um, honey I would step away from the back of that guy and fast!

Oh, best of all it is FREE. Could that be because no one would actually pay for this.

Hmmm, shipping not included, terms may apply. What kind of terms, I shudder to speculate.

Where did this come from? I got this as an email blast. I am the target customer for this because…?

Alternate product name: Tusch Dr.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

16 Comments

Filed under absurdities, humor, products

Tagged as , , , ,

February 11, 2009 · 10:36 pm

Hanging babes

hanging_dolls1

I am not sure what to say about this picture. Nope, I did not take this at the trusty art supply joint where I found the bustier purse, Ricky Martin lunchbox and tacky Marilyn Monroe painting, although these cuties would have fit right in there.

These scary little vixens were hanging (literally) in the local Rite Aid that used to be Eckerd (which I never called it) but was Genovese first. Of course I still call it Genovese, I am old school that way.

So there I was, talking to Danny’s 4th grade teacher in Genovese – mind you he is in 11th grade now, small town. We are chatting away about this and that like fed exing valentines to the girls away at college and all sorts of school district gossip.

And then I spotted them.

The metallic hair on the chick on the right must have caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks and said, ” I MUST take a picture of these”. And she was all, “you carry a camera?” sort of what is up with you crazy lady. There I was down on one knee getting a good angle on them and don’t you know she jumped right into the fun and said, “make sure you get a good shot of the combs that their heads are hanging from”. Wow, hadn’t noticed that.

The whole product line is pretty freakish. Who designs this crap?

And it is quite obvious I can ramble on about any topic on earth.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, communities, danny, humor, products

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

January 28, 2009 · 9:34 pm

Home Candy

home_candy2

Those have to be my two most favorite words on earth. Seriously, talk about branding. The comfort of home and the rush of sugar. And this shot, with the confectionary dusting of snow in front of the sign is too good to be true.

When I took this picture I was not familiar with the store. Now that I have checked them out online I am hopelessly in love. Talk about innovation in merchandising. Kind of like a sale in a garage… garage sale? Their goods are the type of things that you could surely live without out but you think really NEED.

Love. Love. Love.

Except for these fluffy mittens. These I don’t get at all. And I REALLY don’t get them at $70 or even the sale price of $59.50.

But the dog bowls… very cool. Kitchenware… want everything on this page (except the egg tray, just don’t serve this many eggs unless it is Passover) . The Vintage Collection is a riot. Pretty sure between my mom and I we have most of these items. I may have to rename this section ‘Nana’s Pantry’. (seriously Mom, check this out, you will crack up). And the grand finale… the wallets are very fun.

You just never know when you grab a quick shot walking down the street what you will uncover.

Again, that is why I always carry a camera.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

1 Comment

Filed under carry a camera, grandmothers, New York City, photography, products, trends

Tagged as , , , , , , ,