Category Archives: absurdities

September 2, 2011 · 10:19 am

Second Floor Live Porn in Madtown, WI

Yeh, that post title is a blog whore’s way of getting some (albeit unsavory) traffic. So shoot me. And no, my son had nothing to do with this… I hope. Actually, he could very well have been one of the dozen or so people gathered on the street watching this unfold, or undress as the case may be. A big thank you to Dr. Jimmy for sending this one to me.

This is one crazy story. It appears that 25-year-old Kevin Horner (seriously? is that REALLY his name?) took to jumping on the bed of a second floor hotel room in – of all places – Madison, WI. Mr. Horny, I mean Horner, was jumping in front of the window of his room at the University Inn on Frances and State Streets…. sans pants.

I happen to know his corner quite well as it directly across the street from the freshman dorm that both my kids lived in. In fact, you could be running on the treadmill in the second floor gym and look straight into the window that Kevin was wiggling his johnson in. (no not on Johnson Street, that was Frances Street).

The arresting officer said his goal was to keep any innocent bystanders from being exposed and offended by the view. Damn, that guy is no fun! Unless of course the Horner Johnson was, in fact, an offensive looking one.

Horner admitted, “I made a mistake and should have kept my pants on”.

Why is no one asking why a 25-year-old was jumping on the bed?

Can’t make this stuff up.

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September 2, 2011 · 7:14 am

We Bust Our Cubes for You

A big thank you to Uncle Neal for today’s photo. I love that people think of me while they are out and about and snap a shot here and there to send for my amusement (and yours, I suppose). I always loved a company named Acme; it reminds me of the old Roadrunner cartoons.

As Neal said, it is always comforting to know that other people are out there busting their cubes in this economy.

 

 

 

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August 30, 2011 · 10:55 pm

Scanner Dan

If you have spent time in Madison, Wisconsin you would know Scanner Dan. He is sort of famous. He hangs on State Street, carrying a police scanner. He is a true character. He talks to himself and makes running commentary about the people that pass by. He is known to shout out sorority names as girls pass by, giving his opinion on their affiliation.

While I was in Madison last week, my Dan and I spotted him at an outdoor cafe table. I had to get this picture of Dan Squared.

My kids really are good sports, aren’t they?

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August 11, 2011 · 9:02 pm

LUVMYWIFE

Is it me? Tell me that no one else sees these things on a regular basis. It is uncanny how they present themselves to me; and so often in the early hours of the morning when Mel and I are walking (note her little paw in the bottom right corner of the photo).

The owner of this van was about to get into it when I stopped him and asked if I could please photograph his license plate (yes I actually asked this time). He sort of smiled sheepishly and told me that women love this. I asked who ordered it, him or his wife and he gave me a sweet little evasive smile.

I sent it to Gary. This was our conversation later in the day:

Me: Did you get my email?

Gary: Yeh.

Me: Funny, right?

Gary: Did you ask the guy if his wife was carrying his penis around in her pocket all day?

Gotta love my husband. Or should I say LUVMYHUSBAND.

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August 9, 2011 · 6:17 pm

More Great Garbage

I know what many of you are thinking, “she is becoming some sort of creepy stalker taking pics of her neighbors’ garbage all the time”.

Yeh, so what? Admit that you, too, take some unexplained pleasure in the oddities that I find lying out by the curb on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

This one comes from my favorite house. These are the same people that brought us The Dog and Kandinsky , The Headless Garbage, and the ever famous VanGogh Vodka with frames. I don’t know who these people are but I really would like to be friends with them.

For today’s shot I had to get off the phone to take the picture with my godforsaken Blackberry. As much as I cannot wait for the iPhone5 to arrive with its dazzling 8 megapixal camera, there is something fabulous about how this shot came out, don’t you think?

How to Become CEO and Getting Married… both in the garbage. So, do you think they have achieved both goals or have given up?

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August 3, 2011 · 12:28 am

Pop Pop Snappers

This crazy little item was at the counter of a local ice cream parlor. They had all sorts of retro toys like the ever popular Fart Bag, Stink Bomb and Bomb Bag. I am wondering why the vocabulary for these items was so repetitive.

What caught my eye on this little lovely was the usage suggestions:

Bang drop it seemed like an odd description but I can pretty much visualize that one. But ‘throm’ it? Is throm actually a word? I don’t think so. In fact when I google it all I get is a page of sites about thrombosis – an unlikely and rather unfortunate substitute.

So, do you think this is a slang word or was this packaging created in an english as second language factory?

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July 30, 2011 · 11:12 pm

Sure signs you are not in the Greater NY area

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t remember ever seen signs hanging side by side for both a Rifle and Chainsaw raffles. Why is it that the only thing I can think of when I see chainsaw is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

In my neck of the woods, raffle prizes differ slightly.

 

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July 28, 2011 · 10:11 pm

Danger…

Another great shot from my friend Sue. The same one who brought you Social Media Explained from a bathroom stall. I am convinced she hangs in the most interesting buildings in NY. Hey Sue, were these in the same building?

So, let’s think about this sign. What are the dangers of rapping in the elevator?

1. Perhaps you would make someone angry enough to cause a fight.

2. You could become so engrossed in the act of rapping that you would press all the wrong buttons causing the elevator to malfunction. (unlikely)

3. Or maybe the building hipsters just thought this was funny.

Now even a mundane elevator ride or a visit to the bathroom can be amusing. Nothing bad about that.

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July 27, 2011 · 10:29 pm

It is a mortal sin?

Here is another famous picture from my morning walk. I did not realize there was someone in this car until after I took this picture and started walking again.

Yes, I am a little concerned that one day someone is going to be less than thrilled that I am taking a picture, but till then I will continue to be unusually ballsy.

I posted this on facebook and found out from my old friend Brian, who owns a surf shop, that this is actually a sarcastic bumper sticker made by skaters.

That makes it ten times better, don’t you think?

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July 25, 2011 · 5:55 pm

Night of the Living Undead

Here is quite a story out of South Africa today. Apparently a man was in the morgue for 21 hours who did not exactly qualify for the spot he was taking up. It seems the old fella was simply NDY (not dead yet  for all you Monty Python fans out there).

As reported by the NYT and sent to me by Dani G, “Morgue owner Ayanda Maqolo said he sent his driver to collect the body shortly after the family reported the death. Maqolo said he thought the man was around 80 years old. When he got there, the driver examined the body, checked his pulse, looked for a heartbeat, but there was nothing.”

It seems after almost a full day and a good long frozen snooze, the poor guy woke up and started screaming for help. Must have been a fun night in the morgue! The owner called the police – just in case, you know, it was a zombie or something.

The guy was reported to be pale (really? how shocking. I think that might have been a little freezer burn) and asked how he got there. What? You don’t remember your family deciding you were dead and putting you on ice. I surely would be looking over my shoulder for a while after this incident. I certainly would not be falling for that old could you go get me a steak from the walk-in freezer trick.

Honey, is grandpa dead again? Yes, I do think so, this time let’s hit him over the head with a frying pan just in case before we call the funeral home.

It was reported that the family was told he was alive while meeting to make funeral arrangements. They were said to be ‘happy to have him home.’

Anyone buying that?

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