Monthly Archives: June 2009

June 9, 2009 · 9:21 pm

Ooh La La, You have the Flu La La


ooh-la-la

I was standing behind this woman in the supermarket checkout line and I could not resist a shot of her rather offbeat scrubs. For some reason Betty Boop goes to Paris is not the motif I want from my healthcare worker.

I could not help but think how ridiculous it would be to receive the news that you had the swine flu from a nurse sporting the Eiffel Tower and Betty in a beret.

What next, the Naked Cowboy scrubs?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

 

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June 8, 2009 · 10:09 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday: Priceless

There are a handful of moments in advertising history that have touched the souls of those who see them. One of the more famous examples is the Mastercard Priceless campaign. This past week, one of my mommy idols could have starred in one of these commercials.

The scenario: The Dave Matthews Band was playing on the Plaza in the Today Show Toyota Summer Concert Series. Both my friend and her 10th grade daughter are huge fans of the band. In fact, they are a full DMB family of fans. This particular friend has found herself to be an unlucky member of the Sandwich Generation. Many of us are in the midst of raising children at the same time we are dealing with aging parents with health problems. Being an only child of a widowed mom, she is the healthcare concierge extraordinaire. Last week was a particularly harrowing one on that front.

Enter the opportunity to go into the city at some ungodly hour (3:30 AM) to stand in line for the concert. She was all set to take her daughter and a friend until the weather turned nasty and she began to rethink the event. At this point her college-aged son pulled her aside in a sage-like manner and told her that she would never forgive herself if she missed this opportunity of a lifetime that her daughter would never forget. (please note: said son aspires to be a documentary film-maker).

Funny how our kids spout back at us what we have taught them.

So, without hesitation, sporting rain gear of all kinds, off they went on the 3:30 train into the city. I received an early text telling me she was there. Within an hour I texted back that I had not only seen her daughter dancing on camera, but had DVRd it. Her daughter could not be happier. Until… (yes this keeps getting better)

…she screamed out, ‘Dave, I love you” during a lull in the performance and he turned around and smiled at her. Kind of like a young girl’s dream come true. Wait, it gets even better.

During the show they gave out foam guitars to the audience. The daughter’s friend was holding one. After the show, Dave came around and signed the guitar! And the friend? He decided that since he would not have been able to go to the show with out her, gave the guitar to this very lucky girl.

I know, Time to Cry all the way around. I love this story. Not only because the main character is one of my main women, but because every step of the way it was about what I like to call ‘the good stuff’. Truly a priceless experience.

Here is a picture of the two happy teens on the train ride home. The inset shows the Dave Matthews sig.

After-the-show

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under aging parents, family, friendship, moms, music, New York, New York City, parenting, relationships, rock 'n roll, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays, women

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June 7, 2009 · 9:38 pm

Top Ten Search Terms (Vol. 10)

untitled-1

Better late than never. If you are a regular reader, you know the drill. If not, these are my favorite actual search terms for the past month that landed people on this blog. I am always amazed at what people will key in. I add in a little commentary because, well because that is what I do. And I link them back to the posts that I think they found.

1. big french penis Yeh, well I suppose there is nothing quite like a big french penis. Isn’t it always the accent that always gets you.

2. phone penis bona hmm, would this be like a REALLY smart phone that doubles as a vibrator?

3. is there really a penis day in Japan? The short answer is yes. The long answer can be found in the comments. For those who are wondering why there are so many search terms with penis in them, it is obvious you have not been reading. I do not set out to write about them so often, they just come up.

4. infant farts I wrote about fart pads but I don’t think you would need them for infants. Wouldn’t the diaper serve the same purpose?

5. manorexic catalogue Oh great, now there is a catalogue that perpetuates this behavior? I bet you could buy one of these there.

6. poop Plain and simple. Nothing like a little poop search.

7. picture of fat guys crying That would be one sad and pathetic sight.

8. dead mouse in dog food Ok, so it would appear this has happened to other people, how comforting.

9. reborning wtf Seriously, that’s what I said!

10. big butt or testicles mouse This one? I am just really concerned about the individual that strung those words together. And I am not really sure they found what they were looking for.

That’s it folks. Stay tuned next month for some more fun and games with search words.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 5, 2009 · 9:06 pm

I Bring You the Mangroomer

ManGroomer

Yes, my friends, this is one of those items you do not just pass by at Bed, Bath & Beyond. You must stop, pull out your camera and get a shot of this baby. Prominently displayed, I might add. Probably as a Father’s Day promo.

My favorite part of this package is, of course, the circled areas. Note that this is not even remotely anatomically correct. Perhaps this should be called the Eunuch Groomer.

Of course I had to hop over to their website for a little more info. They sport the tagline of the month: ‘Maintain Yourself’. Oh, how I wish I had written that one.

They also make the ‘essential do-it-yourself electric back shaver’. For whom? A double jointed gymnast. How the hell are you supposed to reach your back with this thing? Oh wait, I believe it has a ‘fully extendable and adjustable handle’.

And thank goodness they have a companion nose and ear hair trimmer.

But my fave remains the Private Body Shaver. If you click on no other links on this post you must click on this one for it is the FAQ section on this product. My fave? #7. Does the MANGROOMER Private Body Shaver work for tall and large men?  I don’t get that, do tall guys have surpersonic personal hair?

I would have loved to have been in the focus group for this sucker!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

9 Comments

Filed under absurdities, body image, humor, products

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June 4, 2009 · 9:08 pm

Without a Paddle

shit-creek

Whoever sent me this (Jo, was it you?) please forgive me for not remembering.

After a little searching I found that you can buy this image here. And there is a business or two with the name Shit’s Creek Paddles. I like this one the best.

This has been that kind of week and I thought I would share this image with those of you who have had the same. As soon as I find directions to this place I will share them with you all. Until then, folks, looks like we are on our own.

Here’s wishing you all a happy Friday. Thanks goodness the weekend is upon us. My hopes for this one is to end the groundhog’s day and have some fun.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 3, 2009 · 4:51 pm

Pii Pii for the Wii? No way!

Yes way. Thanks to a client, this was brought to my attention (yes, my clients are as warped as I am). The Japanese, being big fans of both penises and toilets, have developed a peeing game for the Wii.

Girls strap on the belt harness and insert the Wiimote to play the game.

Here are some of my favorite product features (with commentary, of course) from the thinkgeek post about this product:

• Video Game for Nintendo Wii Provides a Virtual Peeing Experience (the perfect gift for the girl who has everything, including a bad case of penis envy)

• Amazing Realistic Pee Fluid Dynamics (you have to watch the video to fully appreciate this. BTW this girl really sucks at this game)

• Over 100 different peeing environments with multiple toilet and urinal styles (lovely feature)

Oh, and this one I love:

• Up to two players can compete with dueling pee streams (sword fights for girls, how inclusive!)

The text on the packaging boasts that this product ‘promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing’. Funny, I have always told my daughter that the only thing that she could not do that boys could was pee standing up.

I guess those days are over and we have finally reached true equality. Now we can pee on the damn glass ceiling if we want to.

You go girls!

(as an aside, today someone referred to me as ‘the diva of the absurd and silly’. I am happy to carry that title proudly)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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Filed under absurdities, games, humor, marketing, products, trends

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June 2, 2009 · 8:59 pm

File this Under Fugly

ugly-givenchy

This is real. We are actually supposed to be excited that we can buy these hideous shoes on sale. Big sign, ‘Luxury Designer $199.95’ ‘Compare at $215.00’. They are kidding right? Huge savings of $15.05! Was this a mistake?

I put these in the same category as the article about chipped nail polish being fashionable.

The sign might not have been one but the shoe design surely was. These could be the ugliest PLASTIC shoes on earth. Givenchy, I expect more from your shoe designers. I don’t claim to be a fashionista, but I know fugly when I see it.

Maybe this is why they wound up in the discount shoe store.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 1, 2009 · 11:19 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Who is That Man?

jr-prom-prep

This picture simply kills me;  brings me right down to my Mommy knees. I walked in on Danny getting ready for the Junior Prom and this moment took my breath away. He rolled his teenaged eyes at me as I began clicking, but it mattered not. I am pretty sure he gets it under all the bravado.

This was a week of milestones. Ones that he simply glided through while my heart both swelled and ached.

A friend I have carpooled with since the boys were in pre-school called me the other day and shared a moment that summed it all up.

She said she was driving him to hebrew school for the last time, which ended this week with a Confirmation service. She looked in her rearview mirror at the young man with the hairly legs and deep voice who needed a shave. She could not help but think of the little boy with the blonde bowl haircut that she used to lift out of the car seat so many years ago.

Hey, they grow up! Back when they were little, there were those days I thought would never end. Having grown kids was not something I could fathom.

Now I turn around and think, “Hey, who is that man?”

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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Filed under danny, Time to Cry Tuesdays

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