Tag Archives: dave matthews

Time to Cry Tuesday – Want and Need

wantneed

This might be the first post ever to combine Dave Matthews and the Jewish Holidays; but that seems fitting since this is a post about firsts.

Here we are – playing holiday dominoes – with those of the tribe watching Labor Day cascade into Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.

This particular holiday is a tough one for our family. We are still stumbling through the ‘firsts’… the things we are doing for the first time without my mom. Although three and half months have passed, it seems like both a moment and a lifetime. Just when I think I have found my footing, my new normal, my ability to feel sad but somewhat whole, it hits me. I have avoided sharing here but somehow this seems the right thing to do, so here goes.

Although no one can stop me from starting to circle the drain, there is always someone there to grab my hand and pull me out. I have my army of grief guides; my friends who have been there and let me know with their steely strength that I will, in fact, make it through. In spite of myself and because of them.

I am beyond fortunate.

Yesterday I had just finished the massive guerrilla food shop. I was cleaning chickens to make my soup and as I was doing it I thought of how when I was first married I could not bear to clean a chicken and my mom used to laugh with me on the phone as I did it to talk me through. And it hit me. Hard. The drain, she was a- calling me to circle to the left.

And then the phone rang. My Rabbi! Seriously, do they learn this in rabbinic school? Do they become hyper-trained to sense the drain circling? Or was it a coincidence? I think not. He also called on her birthday without knowing it. Both times to check on me; to make me try to find the sweet in all the bitter. To hold my hand so I would not succumb to that proverbial plumbing.

I am beyond fortunate.

And then I had a nice long phone visit with my mom’s best friend since childhood – Aunt Arlene (who is not my aunt), as we called her. Her laugh, her stories, her way… all a piece of my mom. As we talked about how much we missed her I felt another hand reach through the phone to keep me from slipping down those pesky pipes.

What I want, is what I’ve not got. But what I need, is all around me.

Wishing all who celebrate a sweet new year. And all who are grieving the strength to stay away from the plumbing during the holidays.

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Filed under aging parents, friendship, holidays, loss

Time to Cry Tuesday – Same As It Ever Was

This past weekend we went to the Dave Matthews Caravan at Randall’s Island. This was the show that was supposed to be on Governor’s Island the weekend that Irene hit.

There was a sense of gratitude amongst the crowd for the rescheduled show. DMB fans are a mellow lot. Walking the grounds, taking in the essence of the place, both Gary and I felt the exact same way. This vibe was – to quote David Byrne – same as it ever was.

The vendors sold the same beads, crystals, t-shirts and leather crafts that they did 30+ years ago. People were dressed pretty much the way they were when we were younger. The crowd still came to hear the music, hang with friends and be outside to soak in what makes them feel alive. Sure we were the people that a young couple came up to inquiring where the medical tent was; hell, we were the parents for g-d sake! But for the most part if I closed my eyes I could have been my daughter’s age.

And with her standing next to me, sharing the music, I was content as I could be. In these times when things move so fast and nothing ever seems to ever stay… the same, it was damn nice to feel like things were…

Same As It Ever Was.

 

 

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Filed under gary, music, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Dave Matthews is a great guy

Ok, I admit it. There are a few musicians that can do no wrong in my book. The list is not long and I am very loyal.

Dave Matthews has been at the top of that list for quite awhile. Aside from loving his music, he is socially conscious, is incredibly offbeat (which we all know that I love) and I always had this feeling that he was just a really good guy.

This was confirmed this week in a post on Fab at Fifty. You can read the original post here. It is written by the founder of the site Geri, who I do not know but we happen to share a close friend. The mom in this story is the sister of one of my original girls from childhood. Truth be told, we were afraid of Jill when we were younger, but we have outgrown that – she is a lot less scary now that we are not 14 .

The story goes like this. Devon, a young lawyer was walking down the street in NY and realized that she has just passed Dave Matthews. She and her mom Jill are crazy Dave fans. She turned around and called his name and he stopped. She went on to tell him how she and her mom had seen him over 30 times and they love his music. Then she asked him to call her mom and…

he did.

Right there on the street he spoke to Jill because, well because he is a great guy.

Cool, right?

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Filed under music, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Ants Marching

Scene: my kitchen counter.

On the phone: the ever-famous Dr. Jimmy

Me: Oh man, my kitchen is literally ant infested. There must be hundreds of ants crawling all over my kitchen counter.

Dr. Jimmy: Ants marching? It goes with the whole Dave Matthews thing for you this week, you should like that.

Gotta love Dr. J, he can always put a happy little spin on a bad situation.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under conversations, dr. jimmy, homeowner

Time to Cry Tuesday – Funny the way it is

late-show-theater

Indulge me one more Dave Matthews related post as tonight I had the thrill of seeing him live at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Yep, Gary and I not only went to the Late Show taping, thanks to a very special old friend, but got in for rehearsal and watched the band practice up close and personal.

Two Daves! What could be better?

Funny the way it is that one day someone is your assistant and you have them doing all sorts of ridiculous things like filling hundreds of little boxes with chocolate and tying ribbons on them, yelling at fed ex and making sure that the messenger has the right address; and then one day 12 years later they get you into the Late Show the night that Dave Matthews is on.

(or even funnier that I could think that last run on sentence was grammatically correct)

I am so proud of how far she has come in her career. And how effortless she makes her job look. She is one of the most entertaining people I have ever known, with a sense of humor that still takes me by surprise. You never quite know what will come out of that crazy mind. She was only a year or two older than my daughter is now when she came to work for us, and was surely the most over-qualified person to ever fill that position. It was a real joy to work with her.

People drift in and out of your life all the time. And if your lucky, they drift right back in and surprise you with how much you truly missed them.

Thanks SB, for a great time and a real thrill. I am so happy to have you back again.

Oh, and I am pretty sure Dave Matthews wanted to meet me, tell him I am sorry we had to rush out.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under friendship, music, New York, New York City, places of interest

Why I Am


dave-matthews-band

Yes, I just got home from the Dave Matthews show at the beach. And yes, it reminded me ‘Why I Am’.

Just standing in the Jones Beach Amphitheater – even in the bad seats – on a July night, with the smell of the ocean all around me, I am quite sure this is ‘Why I Am’. Hearing the music I love (that I discovered before my kids, the DMB groupies, thank you very much) I realized there is nothing like a night like this to soothe the soul.

Listening to the lyrics of Dive In I was taken by the irony of one particular line:

“Tell me everything is all taken care of by those qualified to take care of it all.”

It occurred to me that I am usually that person.

Crap! I am screwed.

I guess that’s Why I Am.

(‘night all)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under carry a camera, music

Time to Cry Tuesday: Priceless

There are a handful of moments in advertising history that have touched the souls of those who see them. One of the more famous examples is the Mastercard Priceless campaign. This past week, one of my mommy idols could have starred in one of these commercials.

The scenario: The Dave Matthews Band was playing on the Plaza in the Today Show Toyota Summer Concert Series. Both my friend and her 10th grade daughter are huge fans of the band. In fact, they are a full DMB family of fans. This particular friend  has found herself to be an unlucky member of the Sandwich Generation. Many of us are in the midst of raising children at the same time we are dealing with aging parents with health problems. Being an only child of a widowed mom, she is the healthcare concierge extraordinaire. Last week was a particularly harrowing one on that front.

Enter the opportunity to go into the city at some ungodly hour (3:30 AM) to stand in line for the concert. She was all set to take her daughter and a friend until the weather turned nasty and she began to rethink the event. At this point her college-aged son pulled her aside in a sage-like manner and told her that she would never forgive herself if she missed this opportunity of a lifetime that her daughter would never forget. (please note: said son aspires to be a documentary film-maker).

Funny how our kids spout back at us what we have taught them.

So, without hesitation, sporting rain gear of all kinds, off they went on the 3:30 train into the city. I received an early text telling me she was there. Within an hour I texted back that I had not only seen her daughter dancing on camera, but had DVRd it. Her daughter could not be happier. Until… (yes this keeps getting better)

…she screamed out, ‘Dave, I love you” during a lull in the performance and he turned around and smiled at her. Kind of like a young girl’s dream come true. Wait, it gets even better.

During the show they gave out foam guitars to the audience. The daughter’s friend was holding one. After the show, Dave came around and signed the guitar! And the friend? He decided that since he would not have been able to go to the show with out her, gave the guitar to this very lucky girl.

I know, Time to Cry all the way around. I love this story. Not only because the main character is one of my main women, but because every step of the way it was about what I like to call ‘the good stuff’. Truly a priceless experience.

Here is a picture of the two happy teens on the train ride home. The inset shows the Dave Matthews sig.

After-the-show

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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Filed under aging parents, family, friendship, moms, music, New York, New York City, parenting, relationships, rock 'n roll, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays, women