Yesterday I wrote about the Relations Auto Body Shop in this town. But I am so not done with the subject of Ronkonkoma. I really like to say that word! If you have ever ridden the Long Island Railroad there is a certain way they announce this station:
In a really loud bellowing voice that starts in the diaphragm.
Oh sorry, I digress for a change. So, we drop Danny to go in search of a much needed cup of coffee and a bagel. I am pretty sure there is a law in suburban New York that there must be a bagel place (they are called places, not stores or restaurants) every 10-15 miles, max.
Now, Gary has this annoying habit of always pulling over and asking ME to ask some weirdo on the street for directions. They are usually unintelligible, have no teeth, smell terrible or are just plain stupid.
The first person we asked satisfied the first 3 criteria. He was this rather old, skinny, shuffling sort of guy who mumbled and pointed in a direction down the road, kind of smiled and giggled and wandered off. We drove about 200 yards and came across a 7-11 and assumed that is where he was sending us.
The second person we asked was in the parking lot. She told us there was a great bagel place but she had no idea how to give us directions to it. She satisfied the last criteria (just plain stupid).
Gary went inside and got directions and on his way out who came shufflng up but the old guy. So, what did he do? Of course he brought him over to the car to ‘meet his wife’.
After googling on the blackberry and a false turn into a parking lot with a really sleezy bagel place we did find the perfect one and had a lovely, rather inexpensive in a let’s move to Ronkonkoma sort of way, breakfast.
But all this was not the truly funny part of the day. That happened a little later in the day on the way home when we stopped at a mall to buy Danny is birthday I-touch (jealous? I am).
On the way out we passed a mattress store with two people lying on a bed. Gary got that glint in his eye that can only mean trouble and said, “Watch this, I am going to lie down in between the two of them.” Danny did not believe him. Yes, of course he marched himself into that mattress store and started to crawl up on the bed in between the couple. The salesman freaked, “Uh, sir. What ARE you doing?”
Gary, “Oh, I’m sorry, I did not realize anyone was on this bed.”
Imagine the look on a 16-year-old boy’s face when his father pulls a stunt like that!