Tag Archives: directions

Gary and Amy’s Ronkonkoma Adventure

Yesterday I wrote about the Relations Auto Body Shop in this town. But I am so not done with the subject of Ronkonkoma. I really like to say that word! If you have ever ridden the Long Island Railroad there is a certain way they announce this station:

“Ron-Kon-Ko-Ma!”

In a really loud bellowing voice that starts in the diaphragm.

Oh sorry, I digress for a change. So, we drop Danny to go in search of a much needed cup of coffee and a bagel. I am pretty sure there is a law in suburban New York that there must be a bagel place (they are called places, not stores or restaurants) every 10-15 miles, max.

Now, Gary has this annoying habit of always pulling over and asking ME to ask some weirdo on the street for directions. They are usually unintelligible, have no teeth, smell terrible or are just plain stupid.

The first person we asked satisfied the first 3 criteria. He was this rather old, skinny, shuffling sort of guy who mumbled and pointed in a direction down the road, kind of smiled and giggled and wandered off. We drove about 200 yards and came across a 7-11 and assumed that is where he was sending us.

The second person we asked was in the parking lot. She told us there was a great bagel place but she had no idea how to give us directions to it. She satisfied the last criteria (just plain stupid).

Gary went inside and got directions and on his way out who came shufflng up but the old guy. So, what did he do? Of course he brought him over to the car to ‘meet his wife’.

Oh Gary, so funny

After googling on the blackberry and a false turn into a parking lot with a really sleezy bagel place we did find the perfect one and had a lovely, rather inexpensive in a let’s move to Ronkonkoma sort of way, breakfast.

But all this was not the truly funny part of the day. That happened a little later in the day on the way home when we stopped at a mall to buy Danny is birthday I-touch (jealous? I am).

On the way out we passed a mattress store with two people lying on a bed. Gary got that glint in his eye that can only mean trouble and said, “Watch this, I am going to lie down in between the two of them.” Danny did not believe him. Yes, of course he marched himself into that mattress store and started to crawl up on the bed in between the couple. The salesman freaked, “Uh, sir. What ARE you doing?”

Gary, “Oh, I’m sorry, I did not realize anyone was on this bed.”

Imagine the look on a 16-year-old boy’s face when his father pulls a stunt like that!

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Filed under family, humor, travel

How many Jews does it take to pack a Jeep?

Or as my father-in-law says, “Seven Jews, Nine Opinions”.

I guess you could say as a tribe we have a tendency to over control a situation and discuss our options ad nauseum.

Yes, my friends, once again I find myself reducing things into small spaces. This is the abbreviated version of the dorm room packing. My daughter (and her stuff) are on the move again. And this time she is taking my son with her. Sleep away camp! (more on this in my next post).

Picture this. A bright and sunny Saturday morning in June (the mother’s month from hell). In the past 30 days I have helped her pack and move home from college, pack (a minimal amount of stuff) for a 10-day trip to Israel, and now, after sending the oversized trunk and duffle up to the adirondacks via trucking company, we are in the business of trying to fit 4 19-year-olds and their weekend of stuff in a Jeep. The catch here is that the plan is to go camping at the Dave Matthews concert on the way. So along with all the other nonsense du jour, we must find a place for the tent. (note the ihome in the middle of everything, this is a very rustic camp we are talking about here).

There we were, four girls and their parents (and of course the dog), everyone (including the dog) with an opinion (or two) of what should go where in the car.

My daughter, “Guys, did I not tell you to pack light?” 

The only solid piece of advice from the whole experience was from the mom who suggested that putting the tent at the bottom was probably not a great idea since that was the item that needed to be taken out first. (she must have had practice with this).

A half hour later and many discussions about ‘the best way to get to Saratoga” (Jews also love to talk about how they have the best route to… anywhere, actually, must be all those years of wandering) they are on their way.

Oh, and of course they never went camping. When a guy from camp offered a place to stay at his parents summer home on Lake George AND a ride to the concert to boot, the well placed tent seemed less than desirable.

Anybody else jealous of her life?

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Filed under family, humor, parenting