Category Archives: carry a camera

June 19, 2012 · 3:59 pm

Babushka Lip Gloss and The Impulse Buy

I found these at the counter at Bed Bath and Beyond. They were sitting at the checkout in the coveted impulse buy spot by the cash register. This is the spot where they put those items that you just can’t resist. Or… this item.

I am convinced that the buyer saw these and told their assistant, “oh, these are kind of kitch, order 10”, meaning pieces and the assistant accidentally ordered 10 cases. That is when the impulse buy spot becomes the we are desperate to move these babies spot.

When I was in HS I worked at a drug store chain and this exact thing happened with a crazy product called Top Coverage. Check it out.

Yes, kiddies, this product claims to be the hair loss concealer that ‘erases bald spots’. Top Coverage is easy to use: just spray on the thinning area, bald spot will disappear instantly. You can choose black, brown, light brown or gray to match your hair color.

Or not.

In actuality it is spray paint for your bald spot. I think it probably worked better for the comb over guys.

After many laughs at the 6 cases vs. 6 pieces fiasco we used this stuff to spray paint doors, make signs, you name it.

Oh the wonderful world of retail!

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June 10, 2012 · 10:08 pm

Big Man, Little Dog and the Bloomies Shoe Dept.

Ok, I will admit this upfront. I was going to title this post ‘No evidence of a penis on this man’ but I was truly fearful of what sort of traffic I would get from that. And the whole gender stereotype thing does rub me the wrong way – although by the way he is dressed it is obvious this dog was not his idea. And I am thinking the shoe shopping wasn’t either. He looks more like a Home Depot sort of guy to me.

Maybe I should have titled this, ‘Shopping is not a canine activity’, because that is what really irks me. I could go on about the upswing in people bringing there little pampered pooches out to shopping and dinner excursions, dressing them up in little clothes and putting them in strollers, for G-d’s sake. I hear this is an epidemic in South Florida. The last time I was there I saw a yorkie in an Ed Hardy hoodie… that is just not ok. (but a lovely outfit to shop for shoes in Bloomies, I suppose) What is up with this behavior?

This is the second time this year that I have seen a man in the women’s shoe dept of Bloomingdales with one of these little dogs.

Just guessing when this guy first started dating this woman this was not his idea of a night out.

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May 31, 2012 · 10:06 pm

The Best Garbage Ever!

No lie. This baby was lying at the curb down the block from my house today. If you are a regular reader, you know I have an affection for things left at the curb. I am not sure if my neighborhood is simply ripe with refuse, or if all neighborhoods are like this but people just don’t notice. Or they notice but don’t document. My garbage posting has gotten to a point where I am thinking of starting a garbage blog. Thoughts?

So this item was found outside a house that has new residents. The previous homeowners predate my family and we have been here 24 years (how can that be, this was my starter house). I am thinking that I am falling in love with these new neighbors before I have even met them.

If you are having trouble making out what this is, it would be a very large metal sculpture of a giraffe; one that looks as if it was hit by a car. This sucker was huge. I would say certainly the size of an actual baby giraffe. Here is a shot of just the face. I simply love the eyelash detail.

So, my dear readers, I put this question out to you, was this an item that the new owners found in the house, or was this something they moved with and then decided they no longer wanted? Or perhaps they had all intentions of using it as a lawn ornament but the movers destroyed it. It’s been a while since we took a poll, so let’s put it out there. All you lurkers who don’t like to comment, go ahead and vote, it’s anonymous.

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May 14, 2012 · 9:33 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Floral Memory

Back when I was in college there was an iris farm not far from where we lived. Going to school in the snow belt of upstate New York, things like The Lilac Festival and iris farms were one step more magical than they would normally be for their juxtaposition to the brutal snow dumping of the long winters. It was always so hard to reconcile all that color after living in a gray and white world of visual deprivation for such a long period of time.

An odd place to go to art school, indeed.

Growing up in the more populated west end of Long Island, iris farms were not something I had ever seen. One late spring morning I came across one and had to pull over. It was like a floral candy store; rows and rows of the these elegant multi-colored flowers. On some level a flower farm seemed comical. You know, being downstate suburban jaded and all. But it was also enchanting. Every year after that I made sure to stop by this farm for the sheer joy of walking down rows of blooming irises.

A simple pleasure.

The other morning on my walk I realized that all the irises in the neighborhood were starting to bloom at once. This particular solitary flower took my breath away and gave me a strong flashback of the upstate iris farm. From the angle of the shot it looks like I had fallen down and was shooting from the ground. No worries, I was upright. (for those who know me that is not too far-fetched)  Dog leash in hand, I was still able to capture this one perfectly. I love the color of the house behind it as a backdrop.

The point of this post? I guess it is the same as the point of my morning walk everyday. To stop and take pictures of the flowers. Wait isn’t that stop and smell the roses? No, it is wake up and smell the coffee.

Actually… it is all of them.

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May 13, 2012 · 9:46 pm

Hey Bub, can you lend me some support?

This beauty is wedged in the window of a local pharmacy that just happens to be next to a bar. Two vodkas to the wind and I spot this baby as we are saying goodbye to our friends. By some freak of forgetfulness I did not have a phone or a camera. A big thanks to Joyce for lending me hers.

So let’s take a look at this in detail. Well, why not, we did just that standing outside the bar last night. Might as well share. First, that is one pretty generous sized supporter on top, wouldn’t you say. Has sort of a diaper-like quality to it.

Our favorite parts:

1. Well, “Bub” of course.

2. Will outlast 2 low price supporters. Which 3? Does not commit

3. Will outlaunder (is that a word?) any 3 low priced supporters.

4. Genuine surgical elastic. Because, you know, you need to cradle the boys in something sterile.

5. The NAME: Duribilknit. How would you pronounce that?

I am thinking this place may want to consider updating their window. You know, like once every 50 years or so. I want to go in and tell them they might want to consider it. And of course let them know I can take this baby off their hands. Don’t you think it would look great in a shadow box frame in the new office?

Just saying.

 

 

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May 2, 2012 · 10:50 pm

Horny Goat Weed

Please discuss!

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April 23, 2012 · 5:36 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Pink Snow

Every morning — before the insanity of the day — I walk. I started this about 8 years ago when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure (way too young) and realized if I did not get my arse moving I was going to find myself in trouble. What started as a practice for my physical health wound up being the key to my mental well being as well.

I walk in all weather. I have snow, rain and sweltering heat gear and there are few excuses for no walk. Being a dog person, my canines have been my personal trainers, never taking no for an answer. Mel, rest her crazy little soul, walked up until her very last day. Now Miss Iko the semi-psycho puppy would never except any reason to miss the walk.

Each time of year has its wonders. I love to walk in fog (I know… weirdo) and there is something incredibly challenging about walking in extreme temps, both hot and cold.

But there is absolutely nothing more magical than the pink snow of Spring. I can not stop taking pictures of this because it will never cease to dazzle me. The top pic is my favorite but here are a few more that I have taken over the last few days.

Enjoy. And don’t forget to stop and notice these things. They were created for you to enjoy, remember to be grateful.

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April 16, 2012 · 10:58 am

Is it possible to throw out a garbage can?

If you are a regular reader you know my unhealthy obsession fascination with other people’s garbage. I am not sure if it is my neighborhood or the fact that I walk every morning before the garbage is picked up, but I have found some of the most amazing things sitting by the curb. I need to do a garbage round-up post soon so you can see what I mean.

Today I came across this gem. Monday is not a garbage day in my neighborhood. The last pick-up was Saturday. Which means that these people have left this here in hopes that tomorrow’s collection day will bring them some luck. Is it an undocumented phenomenon that it is literally impossible to throw out a garbage can? Notice the contents are gone but the can remains; even with a clearly marked note on the can. Are they not allowed to take the can or is it a big FU for not tipping at the holidays?

I have tried to do this before. It is not easy to get these guys to take the can. And this one seems to be in great shape, other than being sans lid which I am guessing is what is rendering it useless in the land of cats and raccoons.

I suggest first making a more elaborate sign, maybe one with some humor to catch their attention. Or maybe standing outside when the truck comes and begging. Or perhaps taping a little envelope to the signage with some incentive in it and a clearly marked dollar sign.

Any other suggestions?

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April 14, 2012 · 7:45 pm

Miss Friday

I wonder why I don’t go to the flea markets every weekend.

This pic was taken at a pretty seedy outdoor market in Chelsea where most of the stuff looked like it came out of the back of my parents garage. Again, this is an item I wish I had purchased. This would look great in the new office and who doesn’t want a headless secretary. Oh wait, people want a secretary that gives good head… never mind. (cheap, I know)

I particularly like the way she has her hand on her hip with an air of WTH do you want attitude. Take a look at the red and blue buttons in front of the hand. Do you think those are panic buttons? And the name plaque on her desk is the best. Oh how I covet this little tinny item.

I need to go back to this place and see if they still have her. She really is perfect. And honestly, who else would want this besides me?

 

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April 11, 2012 · 7:07 pm

Big Yellow Butt on Houston

All this talk of Instagram this week had me clicking away just a little more than usual. I am also a big fan of Hipstamatic, I sort of like their filters better. But hey, they didn’t make a BILLION freakin’ dollars this week! Craziness, right? I am guessing there were a lot of tears in the Hispta-office this week.

Back to this picture. Colored jeans are all the rage this Spring and I know this because I have an (almost) 23-year-old daughter, a fashion blogger writing for me and a retail fashion client. Certainly NOT because I would put this 50-something, big ole butt in a pair of yellow jeans. And if you know me, khaki is the brightest color pants I would ever wear.

I would imagine it would be hard to drive west on Houston St. and not almost hit the car in front of you with that colossal sunshine booty looming on top of that building. Butt (cheap, I know)… I assume that was exactly what the Calvin Klein Art Director was thinking when they designed the billboard. I am thinking this will probably sell a lot of yellow jeans. Sadly, I am afraid they will not be all that flattering on everyone.

From a strictly artistic point of view (because I truly could not care less about fashion trends), I love this image. The crazy sky, the super bright colors of the billboard and all that industrial scaffolding (the Puck Building if you were wondering), the urban architecture and just a hint of red peaking through here and there.

Honestly, art is way more interesting than big yellow butts.

Or is it?

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