May 2, 2011 · 10:24 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – This Whole Mom Business

No not a business run by moms, or trying to be a mom and run a business. I am talking about

This

Whole

Mom

Business

I have been doing it for 22 years. And I have to tell you just when you think you have it down and you really know what the heck you are doing…

you find out you don’t.

As I told the director of the nursery school 18 years ago when my daughter graduated the 4’s class, “I don’t transition well”. I was both touched and mortified when she quoted me (not by name, thank goodness) during the moving up ceremony.

So here we find ourselves again, only the moving up is not exactly from the 4’s class. College? Really? And with the transition comes all the growing pains. For the graduate. And her mom.

Sometimes what seems to be the clear path to parenting is actually the train wreck. All I can say is the kind of parent you are and the kind of kid you raised makes all the difference in how you drag each other out of the wreckage. We do pretty good at that in this house.

It also doesn’t hurt to have the right people as friends.

Hold on to your hats everyone, we have crossed over to graduation month. If you have been following along the first and second High School graduation posts were killers.

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May 1, 2011 · 9:04 pm

Dangerous Do Not Eat

Today I went shopping. I hate shopping. No seriously, I loathe the act of shopping. I am simply missing the gene that makes this activity fun. It is not that I don’t like to have new things, I just really don’t like looking for them. Trying them on… I like that even less.

Let’s face it, the 3-way mirror is simply not our friend. It is bad enough to see the parts of you that are in full view, but to check yourself out under florescent lights from every angle… yikes.

As I was browsing through the racks, I came across this item. Stapled to the inside of a garment was one of those little packs of Silicagel with the words ‘DANGEROUS DO NOT EAT’ printed on it.

Funny, but of all the things I have thought to do with that silly little pack of silicagel, tearing it open and pouring it into my mouth just wasn’t one of them.

Anyone? Have any of you found yourself craving a little snack while shopping and going for one of these little packets?

Hey, I hear it tastes just like chicken.

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April 28, 2011 · 7:00 pm

Inspirational AND Groovy

How can you possibly NOT want to see this show. I mean, if inspirational were not enough, groovy should surely get you going on this one. And that tagline: A New Alice. A New Musical.

What more is there to say?

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April 27, 2011 · 10:13 pm

Happy Garbage

Yes, Dr. J, it is time for another garbage post. This scarecrow sort of gave me the creeps. One, because of the horror movie smile, two because I couldn’t see its eyes and three, quite frankly because it took these people six months to toss the Halloween decorations. Seriously, can you imagine the crap they have in their house?

Sorry there was no Mel in this picture, I think the scarecrow creeped her out too.

In case any of you were wondering, no, none of my neighbors have yet to call me on my Garbology photo-taking practices. The key is walk early in the morning.

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April 26, 2011 · 9:31 pm

Loris is the New Teacup Pig

I know. Last week I said that the mini-giraffe was the new teacup pig. But c’mon, kiddies, we all know that those aren’t real (sorry @sonjagarelick, I hate to be the one to break that to you, honey). How did I live all these years without ever hearing of a Loris.

Today someone a work team posted this on one of our walls. I could not stop watching it. I am pretty sure that a curly-headed little Badger just might have to get one for a graduation present (because the idea of a pig, teacup or otherwise doesn’t seem all that kosher to me). Although, I am a little concerned about how Mel will handle it.

I dare you to watch this and not want one.


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April 25, 2011 · 9:58 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – May is the New June

When you are a parent of school-aged children, June is one of those months when you think your head is going to explode. There are end of year picnics, concerts, class parties, playoffs and art shows… the list goes on. Every night and weekend is filled with activities. Forget about work schedules and any other outside the family pressures; they all seem to have to take a back seat. Over the years, June started to sneak into May.

And then the kids grew up, went off to college and all of the ‘stuff’ was gone. Did I miss it? Maybe a touch, but not the frenzy.

Enter college graduation weekend.

Halfway across the country.

With all 4 grandparents (I know, AMAZING, right?)

AND Danny, the freshman, moving out of his dorm the same weekend.

With a final at 5PM on Friday.

The Mother of all Mays!

So, as April gently rolls to an end I am beginning to spend my time as the family concierge again. Chief Shlepping Officer. The Grand Puba of Details. There are lists and spreadsheets, reservations and arrangements; all the things that were second nature to me for all those years. I am not going to lie, I am a little rusty. But you know, it’s sort of like riding a bike.

Did someone say empty nest?

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April 24, 2011 · 11:58 pm

Happy 22 @Janabelle25

Twenty-two years ago on April 25th I packed a bag and went to the hospital for what I like to call natural childbirth; no jewelry/no makeup. Due to her famous determined disposition, my sweet little girl was frank breech and a C-section was in order. In an archaic and barbaric procedure effort to turn her, the doc convinced us to try a procedure called external version. She basically flipped him the bird and turned right back to the position she had chosen in utero – head up.

That’s my girl! I am happy to report, 22 years later the very personality trait that forced a C-section is one of the most wonderful things about her. If she puts her mind to it… it’s hers. Three weeks shy of college graduation this will certainly come in handy.

When you give birth you don’t think much past babyhood, maybe a shade into toddlerhood. But you surely do not think that 22 years would fly by this fast (yes, I sound like a corny song) or that the infant that scared the hell out of you when you first brought her home would turn into one of your favorite people on earth to go shoe shopping with. Or watch a movie with. Or go to a concert with. Or, or, or… you get what I mean.

So, to the girl who makes me laugh when I don’t think I have it in me, who is my biggest fan, my number one focus group and the very light of our lives (with her brother of course), we wish you the very happiest of birthdays and we thank you for making us a family 22 years ago.

Comments on this post will be forwarded to her so please excuse the shameless mommy promotion and fire away. And for all of you on twitter, if you could wish her a Happy Birthday and fill her stream I would be very grateful. She is @janabelle25 and I guarantee if you follow her you will find her tweets are always pretty clever and fun. She might kill me but here are but a few of my faves:

https://twitter.com/#!/janabelle25/status/60020431398244352

https://twitter.com/#!/janabelle25/status/58251684283031553

https://twitter.com/#!/janabelle25/status/42616170968391680

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April 24, 2011 · 9:22 pm

Menu items

20110424-092620.jpg

This was a banner weekend for people sending me amusing pics and messages. The picture above was a winner, for sure. Thanks to Paul and Paula (yes I actually know a couple named Paul and Paula). They spotted this on Houston Street and snapped a pic to send me.

Gary and I can’t figure out if this was a joke, or a disgruntled employee leaving a final FU before they left.

If I had to name the one thing I love the most about blogging, it would be that I have created an infectious desire to stop and notice the funny things around us every day. Taking pictures and sharing them brings it to the next level. Not long ago people would just pass these things by, but with the popularity of social sharing this has become more commonplace.

Again, I am a trendsetter. And again it’s not billable (sorry Gary).

Thanks P and P, for thinking of me.

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April 22, 2011 · 12:47 am

The Fortune

Yes, I have mad Photoshop skills, but no I did not create this fortune. This sucker was in my cookie tonight. Seriously, who else would get this?

So, I will agree. Why not? No good reason.

And yes, I admit it – I am intrigued.

Ok, so should I be looking around for something in particular or just keep myself open to the possibilities?

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April 20, 2011 · 9:13 pm

The Accent


I have thought about this a lot and have come up with a statistic that has no scientific basis, I have done no focus groups, I am citing absolutely no studies, but I am sure it is so. (oh, and Dr. Jimmy agrees, if that helps)

Anyone who speaks English with an accent immediately becomes 40% better looking.

Think about it and let me know if you agree or disagree.

That’s all I’ve got.

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