Category Archives: parenting

October 1, 2008 · 8:32 pm

Reborn dolls and women who mother them

Woah! This video really freaks me out! It is long but I could not pause it. Kind of like staring at the accident. The song choice makes it all the more disturbing. If you don’t get to the end, the best part is where we are sternly instructed not to search for ‘fake baby’ as the correct term is ‘reborn’. WTF!!

I searched YouTube for these ‘babies’ after seeing a scary little news story on the Today Show. You can see the story here.

Matt Lauer interviewed some frankly wacko rather interesting women Wednesday morning about these dolls called reborns. What the hell does that mean, reborn? EW! This interview was in anticipation of a BBC film called ‘My Fake Baby’ which is a documentary about these ‘babies’. (shame on you BBC, you did not use the right terminology, how ignorant!).

These dolls sell for thousands and are collected by women, some of whom dress them up and ‘care’ for them as if they were real. Yeh, this is real healthy. Touted as the perfect baby (um, wait, why is this ok?) one woman says that while she doesn’t have children this ‘satisfies a female instinct’ in her. Women find them therapeutic. Oh, I am thinking there is surely some therapy needed. This is way creepy, no? OK, so why do we not think these women need some serious help?

I particularly like the way you can pop their heads off, but hey, that’s me. Seriously, I never got to do this with my kids and I find that to be a nice feature, don’t you?

G-d bless the doll ‘artists’ who are making a fortune on these things. It got me to thinking that this could be a woman’s version of the sex doll. Seriously, they satisfy a need, right? No one gets hurt. Well maybe they do. I wonder about the woman in the interview who had a two-year-old at home. This woman left her real kid home to take her fake baby on TV, um yeh, we are real healthy. I worry about that kid getting the right kind of attention. While mommy is rocking plastic bro to sleep is real life toddler sticking her finger in a socket or something? (I know, I can be so judgmental sometimes).

My favorite line from the Lauer interview:

Matt: What do you do with an old baby when you get a new baby, put the old one on a shelf?

I am thinking if you did not have children there are many creatures that you can ‘satisfy your female instinct’ with. How about a cat? A puppy? Even a fish?

Then again, hard to dress up a fish.

Although there is something to be said about not needing to get a sitter.

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September 23, 2008 · 10:18 pm

Lace Love

Ok, everyone. Since Jana claimed to be more interesting than Danny in the comments section of my last post, she is proving it by taking part in our first poll experiment. After waiting many, many weeks Jana’s custom Nikes have arrived. They are cool, aren’t they? And tiny I might add… size 6.

She looks a bit like the Mona Lisa in this shot, doesn’t she? Well, she would if that uptight bee-otch – Mona not Jana – would have really cracked a good smile and showed off those beautiful teeth that her parents spent all that money on braces for.

Wait, did I just call the Mona Lisa an uptight bee-otch and did I claim she wore braces? I am really losing it.

This is a screen shot from a video chat session. She wanted us to help her decide. Note how happy Danny looks in the bottom screen. Frankly I think he is pissed about being labeled less interesting.

I just love this, don’t you? My kid is halfway across the country and we can do this kind of thing. Very cool indeed.

I expect lots of voting here everyone. That means all of you who don’t like to comment. I see the stats people, I know you are visiting!

And all of you who receive this by email, you lazy slugs are going to have to go directly to the blog to vote. Janny-girl, you better have all your friends vote so we don’t look foolish here, ok?

Come on everyone! Stop being so non-participatory for G-d’s sake. This is an interactive medium.

So interact. (jeez she is bossy!)

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Filed under family, fashion, humor, parenting, polls, trends

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September 15, 2008 · 10:40 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday

This past weekend we had the good fortune of attending the Bar Mitzvah of the son of dear friends. These particular friends have been living in the theatre of the absurd for the past few months and it was a joy to be with them in celebration instead of misery. (well perhaps both, but that is not what this post is about.)

Their synagogue is one with a very different style of worship. As Reconstructionist Jews they are encouraged to bring a piece of who their family is into the service. This included select non- sectarian readings of the likes of Robert Frost and Langston Hughes. They flatteringly included the lyrics to Better Things from a Time to Cry Tuesday past as well as the lyrics to songs that were dear to them and the ideals of their family.

I am here to post about one such song. Their eldest son, who holds the connection between our two families as we met when he and my daughter were in elementary school together, performed a song that just near broke my heart. He has grown into a really cool young man, one whom I enjoy spending time with and am honored that the feeling is mutual.

The rabbi introduced the song with a preface about the current military situation that our country has found itself in. He spoke about mothers, spouses and children who have suffered losses that get lost in the propaganda and politicization of these wars. This beautiful 19-year-old boy I have known for most of his life, got up with his guitar and sang the Dispatch song, The General.

I sat in this holy space and listened with my whole heart to the words of a young man who was fortunate to be born into a generation that has not known the draft. But with his words and through his heartfelt performance I felt the pain and fear we all hold for the families of the soldiers who so bravely volunteered for the armed services of this country. And I gave thanks that, for now, my 16-year-old son (whose birthday is today making this all the more poignant for me) is safe from the fear of being drafted.

The chorus of this is written from the point of view of a General in battle. It says it all:

I have seen the others
and I have discovered
that this fight is not worth fighting
I have seen their mothers
and I will no other
to follow me where I’m going

Take a shower, shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
go now you are forgiven

May those who defend this country come home safely and may this madness end!

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September 13, 2008 · 7:25 pm

Do Not Open until September 2007…


No joke. This is an actual note from Jana. On the 2nd anniversary of its writing, I thought I would post this to give all of my friends of HS seniors a laugh and let them know that ‘this’ happens in every household.

I distinctly remember the day she wrote this. Her level of frustration had reached an all time high. In turn, my level of exasperation followed her lead and it would be safe to say the two of us were certainly not having our finest mother-daughter moment. Danny and Gary run for cover in these instances.

We went to our respective corners to lick our wounds and try to decompress. After some time she walked in my office (the command center in the basement) with a folded up piece of paper, sealed on all sides with the words “Open September 2007” written on it. She tacked it on the bulletin board over my desk and made me promise not to open it sooner.

Hard to believe but I actually waited. I did not even hold it up to the light. Every once in awhile during the course of that bittersweet emotional roller coaster of her senior year, I would glance up at it and get all teary-eyed in anticipation of what poignant words could be written inside. After all, was I not the parent that held her hand through the grueling process of college selection? Did I not help her compile the coveted ‘binder’ that had her friends green with envy? Oh wait, I think that might have been my friends. Or were they actually discussing their concerns about my OCD behind my back?

Anyway, I did wait till September 2007 to open this. I came back from the trip to Wisconsin with that pit in my stomach that every mom of a college freshman has. That feeling that maybe the idea of sending my daughter half way across the country was not all that well thought out. I sat down at my desk – tissues in hand – and slowly opened the note, expecting an outpouring of sentimentality.

Instead, I found a genuine piece of my Jana written on that page. With the wit and sarcasm I have grown to both love and miss so desperately. You will always keep me laughing baby girl. I love you.

Oh and now I am starting the process all over again with my OTHER favorite child.

Wait, this was not supposed to be a Time to Cry Tuesday post.

Whatevs.

BTW, as you have read, she finally did say screw you to Penn State and chose to be a Badger instead of a Nitanny Lion. Perhaps it had something to do with that torturous online app.

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August 26, 2008 · 10:17 pm

UPS and the 21lb. box of shoes

Last college moving post, I promise.

If you have ever schlepped a kid and their stuff you will love this one. And if you have ever had to track a package you will love it even more. I touch on this in my post at Mid-Century Modern Moms but here is the full story with the outcome. (BTW, my Wednesday post there was moved to Thursday this week)

First, yes, we did actually send 21 lbs. of shoes to Madison. AND she is only a size 6 so that is 21 lbs. of tiny shoes. We are thinking of changing her name to Emelda.

The package was ‘lost’ by UPS. After being not so nice to the rep on the phone about the incorrect address they ‘claimed’ we wrote on the package, we find out from her friends that it was, in fact the incorrect address. Ah, what is a few digits amongst shippers? Having to call UPS back on the 800# what is the shot I would get the SAME rep? Yes, that was a little embarrassing. Nonetheless, he BS’d ‘assured’ me this was being handled and would be delivered on Tuesday.

Fast forward to Monday, I track it online and find this:

Yeh, well ok. WTF!

Note each time they talk about the incorrect friggin’ street number signifies each time I was on the phone with these idiots and…

you guessed it, nothing happened.

Finally, the least of the incompetents ‘regional facility agent’ called to tell me that this was handled and would be delivered this afternoon. The best part of our little chat was when she actually said to me, “Oh, you have been dealing with the 800 national call center? They really don’t know what the heck they are doing and never seem to resolve anything.” (no lie)

That is when I asked her what number I should have called and she informed me that is the only one available and actually said, “Yeh, I know it is a terrible system.”

This is UPS for G-d sake. You know what is coming here, my favorite line:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

But of course, all is well that ends well. I am sure my sweet daughter will finally be able to wear something on her feet other than the 3 pair of flip flops and one pair of converse that she traveled with.

Oh and the missing printer, that was found too. But who really cares about a printer in college when you have 21 lbs. of shoes?

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August 25, 2008 · 12:13 am

I could have used those 8 arms!

This is kind of what I looked like over the past 48 hours. College move in day is always a bittersweet, hectic marathon. 

Pack. Unpack. Shop. Eat. Hydrate. Hug. Laugh. Run cable wire (jack is ALWAYS on the opposite side of the room from the TV). Call the internet guy. Track missing packages. Meet her friends. Lose the car keys (constantly, I am a space cadet). Eat room service. 

Spending the time alone with my daughter is such a treat it is well worth the insanity. Seriously, not only did she embrace pulling over to get this shot, but she took it! Oh how we love the Octopus Car Wash!

Thanks Jana, for being you! Hopefully you will find the missing internet guy and be able to read this!

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August 19, 2008 · 10:23 pm

#1 Sign that Your Daughter is Too Old for the Pediatrician’s Office

NOTE: It’s Wednesday and that means I am posting at Mid-Century Modern Moms today. Don’t miss it!

Jana is home for 5 whole days between camp and school. We like to think of this week as relay for health. We fit many doctor’s appointments into a short period of time. Last visit was the dentist, eye doc and gyn. This week it is allergist x 2 (trying to get that asthma in check) and the dreaded annual check-up with…

the pediatrician. Ok, so she is 19 and we are still visiting the pediatrician. Yeh, like we are the only ones doing that! While we were in the exam room I heard what sounded like a full grown man in the other room taking an eye test.

Note the ‘gown’ she was asked to put on. She wanted to know what short little porker size kid this was designed for. Wait, didn’t I see this top in a Vera Wang ad in the NYT fashion mag?

What is with our generation that we don’t trust the big people’s docs with our college kids? Do we have some strange masochistic nostalgic streak that makes us feel the need to still be around kvetching babies and toddlers in the waiting room to validate our vision of ourselves as ‘mom’?

Here are a couple of favorite sound bites from the ONE HOUR wait to see the doc:

8-year-old-girl: Mom, remember our babysitter Uma from Iraq?

Mom: She was from Canada!!

Mom: Let’s play the guessing game. I am thinking of a man.

Kid 1: Is he a singer?

Mom: Yes.

Kid 2: Bob Dylan?

Mom: No.

Kid 2: Bob Marley?

Note to self: kidnap Kid 2 and take her home. She fits perfectly with our musical tastes and Gary always wanted a third child. 

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August 5, 2008 · 8:10 pm

Show Me the Money!

No, Danny has not learned to be a drug dealer at camp – although he did seem to feel awfully comfortable handling cash! Jana thought this looked like an evidence photo. I particularly like the hanger sticking out of his head.

During our trip to the fundraiser at camp we had the complete joy of being part of the afterglow. The two girls and two boys who co-chaired, spent the better part of a day engaging in the most fun part of the the afterevent…

counting the loot. This is akin to forgetting how awful labor was once you see the baby.

They sat in the house of one of the camp directors, sorting and counting the cash. And we got to watch! They were so excited. There is always a big competition between the oldest boys’ and girls’ booths. This year the boys beat them by about $100.

Now get this, the take on just these two booths was almost $15,000!!! I am blown away. Last year’s event raised $40,000. (they are hoping to beat that number). The money is donated to a number of charities, many that are children focused.

Of all the things these kids learn at camp, this could be the most important one.

Now, whoever keyworded ‘lazy jew parents send their kids to camp’ to find this blog, I challenge you to defend your point!

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August 3, 2008 · 11:06 pm

Who Says You Cant Go Home Again?

The juxtaposition of these two signs struck me as rather ironic. Funny, this was the corner of Peaceful Valley Road and Back to Sodom Road… with a stop sign! Was that to make us think twice about ‘going back’? After all, we were driving down Peaceful Valley, what could be better? And we all know Sodom’s fate.

Surely a municipal group with a sense of humor.

Another weekend in the Adirondacks – for all those that missed me. My son co-chaired the annual charity event at his camp and we went back to spend money and… well, be proud.

For those who have not been reading along, my kids go to the summer camp that my husband and I attended. Besides the fundraiser it is also alumni weekend. Although we were amongst the oldest of the alum (by about 20 years I might add), it still feels like coming home when we are there. (No worries, this is no Sodom. Or Gommorah for that matter) The vibe, the culture, the love of place is so strong. And it feels identical to when we attended so many years ago.

When we hit the mountains, the air is different. It smells like home. It looks like home. In every way it FEELS like home.

So in my book, you can go home again.

Now file this next picture under ‘these guys really had a sense of humor’. This is the corner of A. Hitchock and Peaceful Valley Road.

I could not resist walking down this block to look for the Bates Motel.

No Luck.

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July 29, 2008 · 6:50 pm

Who’s your daddy?

Fox 5 NY ran this story on Monday night. When I googled it I found a hit from WBAL Baltimore from Feb. 2006. Hey Fox, slow news night?

Nonetheless, this is quite a story.

Robert Aberdeen, sperm donor No.B202, donated at least twice a week from 1964 to 1975. It was his part time job (some job, huh? did he get to write off all his porn on his taxes? cool).

When he discovered the Donor Sibling Registry, he posted a message telling his offspring he is willing to be contacted.

“I’m OK with that. I think it would be neat to hear from them; I have all of these children and they never call. They never send a Father’s Day card,” Aberdeen said.

Seems good old Bobby-boy is honing his parental guilt skills already.

“It could be thousands; it certainly probably could be hundreds,” Aberdeen hopes for a response “before they put me out to pasture.”

What a stud!

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