Category Archives: Uncategorized

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Old Sunday

This was the first weekend that we were able to settle in since the kids have left.

Let me tell you a little something about Sunday. It was like the old Sundays. You know the ones: stay in bed late, watch a favorite movie, read the whole Sunday Times, go for a long walk… have brunch!

And this is what we did not do: clean the garage, food shop, shuttle anyone any where, go to a soccer game in the heat/cold/pouring rain at some ungodly hour (this one I actually did miss), laundry… or just about anything domestic.

It would seem, my friends, that although I do miss my kids a ton, I am thinking that for 21 years I have been missing Sunday.

And now she is back!

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Best Bathroom Sign Ever

This was taken in the bathroom at The Nitty Gritty in Madison, WI. A great place for burgers, this is also apparently someplace that takes hand washing very seriously. I love how they are anything but serious about the way in which they encourage the practice.

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Time to Cry Tuesday – Going, Going, Gone

“Mom, when are we going to go and get my stuff?”

That was the question in the last dream I had before I woke up. And there I was lying in bed thinking of what a busy day I had today and how guilty I felt that I did not have time to go with him to ‘get his stuff’.

Until I realized that there was no stuff to get (we had surely ‘gotten’ more ‘stuff’ over the past 4 days than humanly possibly). AND there was no Danny.

Yes, kiddies, after a year of ‘lasts’ and goodbyes ad nauseum as each of his friends left for college, my boy finally left too. Taking pride in being a family that is not prone to drama we were about on our last nerve until the moving day finally came. It feels like he has been going for so long I wonder why I felt so shocked this morning that he was actually gone.

So here is the thing; it comes in waves. When you think you have totally got your shit together and you know your kid is ready – and frankly so are you(ish) –  it grabs you around the chest and chokes you so can barely breathe. You know it is time for him to move on to start his LIFE (note the caps) and time for you to discover the next phase of yours. Of course you know all this!

And then there is that moment. Like the one in the Starbucks on State Street while I was ordering Shaken Iced Tea Lemonades and they had the nerve to play Cat Stevens Father and Son:

It’s not time to make a change,

Just relax, take it easy.

You’re still young, that’s your fault,

There’s so much you have to go through…

And there was my boy, sitting in the dim light at the back of the Starbucks with the sunlight streaming in through the window shining an eery glow around his silhouette. There he was with his scruffy beard and his Allman Bros. t-shirt and I realized that I had no choice but to let him go… for real.

And yes, I did start to cry right then and there in the Starbucks on State Street in Madison, Wisconsin. And no he was not all that happy with me but he did get it. Because he knew that by the end of the weekend when we left him and his sister, we would be leaving half our family halfway across the country. And there is simply nothing easy about that.

… Now there’s a way and I know that I have to go away.

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Filed under advice to my son, college, danny, family, Jana, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Boyz 2 Men

Hold on to your kleenex, kiddies, we are in countdown mode till the youngest child goes off to college. I will spare the drama, but this post had to be written.

Those who are walking down this road with me, we all know that this will be the fall of doing whatever the hell we want. And that surely does ease the pain of letting go. But every so often there is a moment. One that gets stuck in your throat and makes it just a little harder to breathe than you would like.

This past weekend I got my boy back for a few short days between counselor at camp and freshman at college. As we pulled into the zip code he had just enough time to shower before we were off to a 5 family farewell dinner with some of ‘his boys’.

Of course we had to torture them with the cameras a bit. But I am pretty sure that this post will make them glad that we did. For in picture number one below, you will find some of the very same smiles as picture number two. They may be hard to find, what with the facial hair and the hunky builds (I knew you guys would love that one), but they are the very same smiles that kept us moms going all these years.

We cheered at the sidelines for all these athletes, and of course virtually for our ‘mathlete’. We have lived through your joys and disappointments together as a community of families as if each and every one of you were our very own; because in essence you were.

We let you puke on our couches (as little ones) and in our cars (as not so little ones). Our homes were all yours, and of course so were our fridges and pantries. Never once did our love for you fail, even when your judgement sometimes did. The friendships you have shared through these years are nothing to be taken lightly.

May you always know the feeling of someone having your back the way you have here with each other. And may your moms survive this without putting you over the edge.

I love you all. Now go out and be all you can be.

And for G-d’s sake, be careful!

Oh, and of course remember to come back and eat me out of house and home whenever your hearts’ desire.

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Filed under advice to my son, carry a camera, danny, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – Blogher Hangover

The other day I gave you a silly little peek into a moment I experienced at Blogher, the women’s blogging conference. I am usually prone to pick out the most absurd of moments and share them here because I like to entertain. And I have to admit, THAT was entertaining.

But the event itself was far from silly. For me it was proof that women from all over can come together and form a community that in a matter of hours becomes as close as those from which they have traveled. If not, in some ways, closer.

Women are a funny gender. We nurture by nature. Sure there are the mean girls and the cool chicks at the cafeteria table. And from where I came from, there are those who liked to mix it up with a little girl fight at the flagpole now and then. But for the most part, women rally around.

Someone is ill? We feed their families and care for their kids. Someone has a loss? We make arrangements, and give a shoulder in the darkest of hours when everyone else has moved on. And hey, when we puke, our truest friend will hold our hair back and never judge us.

So it is no surprise that when a hotel full of women bloggers got together there was a buzz; a feeling in the air that was hard to describe. Sure it was overwhelming at times. But the strangest things were happening. Coincidences and connections. With strangers. But not really. Women met each other in person for the first time when they had known each other online for years. And all we could say was, ‘I feel like I have known you for years.’

I spent the most fascinating hour drinking wine with a group of women in a hotel room. Most of us only knew one or two people in the room. ‘Where did you sit?’, my husband asked me. ‘You know, all over. In the chairs, lying on the beds. It was very relaxed.’ Of course his mind went into full blown girl on girl pillow fights. Yeh, well that is the penis for you.

I digress. The point was, the whole purpose of this conference was to share. Ideas. Lives. Business concepts. And everything in between. To give each other the balls to keep doing whatever it is that we do. For whatever reasons we do them.

I regret that I was only able to attend one day. But this 14-hour day left me so spent that going back was simply out of the question. I had a Blogher hangover (or maybe it was the wine) But, I needed to digest.

Now that I have, I am so proud to have been a part of this. Blogging is very much a way of life for me. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Some over-share, but it works for them. Some over-sell, but it works for them as well.

And me, well there were three things that made me happiest. One, I got to check in at the same time as Mrs. Potato Head.  Two, someone in an elevator saw my conference badge and told me that I had the best blog name of the day. And three, I got to hear a ballroom full of women chant the word vagina in unison. Seriously, where else could that happen?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under blogging, friendship, social media, Time to Cry Tuesdays, women

Best Blogher Pitch of the Day

For those who do not know what the hell Blogher is, this is a conference for women bloggers. Go ahead, make all the jokes you want but you can only imagine how happy I am to be here. I am out of the zip code and amongst ‘my people’.

And these really are my people, even the ones who are pitching us. I was walking through the exhibition hall with @wendyscherer when all of the sudden a tiny powerhouse of a little blonde came up to us and asked:

“Can I tell you everything there is to know about your vagina in 5 seconds.”

Hmmm, I don’t know, can you?

I mean, I don’t mean to be narcissistic here but I was hoping that my vagina was worthy of a little more than 5 seconds. Anyone? Gary, want to jump in here and comment on this one?

She certainly got our attention and when she followed that line up with, ” the vagina is a delicate eco-system” I was pretty sure I had the makings of my first Blogher blog post of the day. (yes, kids, there may be more than one). And, no, I did not think it was necessary to add a photo to this post for those who were wondering. To quote my kids, “Ew Mom”.

Ok, I know what you are all thinking. Hundreds of women meet at these conferences to talk about their vaginas. Well, they do. But they also talk about family. And work. And grief, And politics. And fashion. And current events. And products. And marketing. And social good…

Are you getting the picture. This is a houseful of power. The women who drive not only buying power that brands so desperately seek, but the support and devotion that women give naturally to each other.

This is a very special place indeed.

Oh, and yeh, I am sure there are some pretty special vaginas here as well. (btw, did you know that the optimum pH for a vagina is 4.5? yeh, did not think you did)

Oh, and a plug for the little blonde whose name I did not get (sorry). She worked for lil’ drugstore and was selling all sorts of stuff to keep that hey-nanny-nanny in pH balance.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under companies, conversations, health, humor, Uncategorized

Funniest Spam Comment Ever!

Sometimes the comments that get caught in my spam filter are the funniest thing in my day. This one surely does not disappoint. I am leaving the links so all you perverts out there can check them out. (yes, someone actually owns and operates – no pun intended – ‘penisenlargement.com . What a great snag that url was, huh?)

HELP! I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia xyzrxyz penis enlargement xyzrxyz and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. xyzrxyz penis enlargementxyzrxyz They’re coming back now. xyzrxyz vimax xyzrxyz Please send help! nitip vimax

I feel kind of guilty that there is a chance this guy was killed by the Russian mafia because I did not approve his comment.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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This little lamb is ruining my life

When Jana was a little girl we fell in love with the video Shelly Duvall’s Rock ‘N Rhymeland. If you have little kids (and actually even if you don’t) this one is a must see. During the time when your kids are small you are subjected to watching the same videos over and over again until you want to stick a needle in your eye. A video like this is a breath of fresh air.

My husband was known to go into a rage over the ‘fat kid in the green sweater’ in the Wee Sing video, Grandpa’s Magical Toys. Seriously, this entire series was worthy of breaking the TV to avoid ever having to listen to those inane songs again.

But Rock ‘N Rhymeland was a breath of fresh air in the landscape of mind-numbing kid vids. We still quote it now and then with a look of nostalgia and fond memories of real humor infused in a film that helped keep these two parents from running from the room screaming like their brains were on fire.

One of our favorite scenes starred Cindy Lauper as Mary, and Woody Harrelson as her little lamb. Our favorite line of all times was from Cindy, “This little lamb is ruining my life.” At times when toddler Jana was wearing on our very last nerve we were known to quote her (with full brooklyn accent, of course). You can see the sequence here at about 4:11, it is really hysterical.

Fast forward about 18 years and Jana is interning in Battery Park City where none other than Woody Harrelson is shooting a film outside her building. She and the other interns loitered long enough outside the trailers to get to meet him. And he could not have been nicer. He chatted with her for a while and then gave her this autograph.

When she told me all I could ask was, “So? Did you tell him that you have always admired him for his role in Rock ‘N Rhymeland as the little Lamb and that you are pretty sure that video saved your parents from going mad.”

Her answer? “Haha, no m-o-o-o-m!”

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under humor, Jana, movies, rock 'n roll

Cuomo Hunts Down Panhandling Fake Nun

Photo credit: BRIGITTE STELZER

The title of this post was the headline that was on the TV at the bagel store when I went to get my coffee this morning. Mind you, no one should read something like this before their coffee. It’s just wrong on so many levels.

Dear Lord – no pun intended – what next?

A few months back we learned of a Great Neck Long Island family raising money for a fake cancer charity. Now we have a woman posing as a nun raising money for a non existent orphanage. People, what the hell is going on here?!

Seems Mr. Cuoumo needs an entire department in his office dedicated to the sub-specialty of scum of the earth.

Seriously folks, how much of a sleaze must you be to ‘raise’ money this way? Don’t you wonder how these types sleep at night?

Any suggestions on punishments that fit the crime?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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You never know what you’ll find in your dishwasher

Certainly when your college kid is living home for the summer.

Tucked in snugly between the cereal bowls and the water glasses on the top rack of my dishwasher, this jewish mother found…

the ever popular I heart Jesus shot glass. Thinking that it most likely did not belong to my husband, who not only does not drink but I am pretty sure does not heart Jesus either.

So I texted my sweet daughter:

Ummmmm…. I heart Jesus?!!!

And of course the answer was:

hahahaha. I will be home soon.

It appears this was a ‘gift’ from a friend. No disrespect to my Christian friends here, I think that there was simply something very funny about giving this to an obviously Jewish girl.

I am thinking of getting her an I heart Buddha shot glass for Hannukah, what do you think?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, college, conversations, humor, Jana