Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

June 1, 2009 · 11:19 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Who is That Man?

jr-prom-prep

This picture simply kills me;  brings me right down to my Mommy knees. I walked in on Danny getting ready for the Junior Prom and this moment took my breath away. He rolled his teenaged eyes at me as I began clicking, but it mattered not. I am pretty sure he gets it under all the bravado.

This was a week of milestones. Ones that he simply glided through while my heart both swelled and ached.

A friend I have carpooled with since the boys were in pre-school called me the other day and shared a moment that summed it all up.

She said she was driving him to hebrew school for the last time, which ended this week with a Confirmation service. She looked in her rearview mirror at the young man with the hairly legs and deep voice who needed a shave. She could not help but think of the little boy with the blonde bowl haircut that she used to lift out of the car seat so many years ago.

Hey, they grow up! Back when they were little, there were those days I thought would never end. Having grown kids was not something I could fathom.

Now I turn around and think, “Hey, who is that man?”

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

10 Comments

Filed under danny, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , ,

May 25, 2009 · 11:32 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Share Our Strength

share_our_strength

This week’s installment of Time to Cry Tuesday is about kids helping kids.

Through a wonderful organization, my neighbor’s kids organized a mega bake sale this weekend. While other kids were swimming, riding bikes or going to the beach, this group decided to make a difference.

Share Our Strength is committed to end child hunger. Their latest program is the Great American Bake Sale. Presented by Domino and C&H sugars, 100% of the funds raised from this national campaign go towards feeding kids. The most rewarding part is that the funds stay local, supporting after school and summer feeding programs.

Professionally, being involved in designing turn-key programs in the past, I am impressed with how comprehensive the program is. They supply all sorts of materials to make the bake sales a success.

As a community member, and a mom, I am touched by the commitment of these kids to help those who are in need.

To quote my fave new Dave Matthews song:

Funny the way it is
If you think about it
Somebody’s going hungry
And someone else is eating out

These kids get that big time. And not only do they get it, they are doing something about it!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

1 Comment

Filed under charity, communities, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

May 12, 2009 · 6:29 am

Time to Cry Tuesday…Heather and Jordan follow-up

Yesterday I wrote about Jordan Feil proposing to Heather Goodman in the NYT Sunday Styles section. No, I do not know these people, and yes one more post about them after this will border on obsession.

I am happy to report that I have never been so happy to receive a comment on my blog as this one:

virginia_hughesI am thrilled to find out that she said yes. Hey Virgina Hughes, you better not be a fake. That would break my heart.

Today’s Time to Cry Tuesday is dedicated to romance. If you are fortunate enough to have found someone to ride the crazy roller coaster of life with, be careful not to follow the temptation to push them out when things get tough. Pretty romantic, huh?

Jordan, that was one big fat grand gesture there on the proposal, dude. (and of course I don’t say dude in real life, I am way too old for that, but it sounded good here). That is going to be a tough act to follow. Heather, cut him some slack in the future, this one should surely have some longevity. (remember this one when he leaves the toilet seat up, wants to go out with the guys when the baby is sick, blows his nose at the table, forgets to pick up milk on the way home… oh sorry about that, don’t want to give you too much insight into marriage).

Good luck to you both and may my life get a little more interesting in the next 24 hours so I can stop writing about yours!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under relationships, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

May 4, 2009 · 10:28 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes

Meatloaf Dinner

Comfort food.

Everyone has certain dishes that make them feel safe. The tastes and smells that bring you back to your mom’s dinner table and remind you of what life felt like when it was simpler. Before the deadlines and the mortgage, there was…

meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Oh, and creamed spinach. That was one of those family dinners in my house that even my brother the vegetarian could probably still get nostalgic about.

Today was Monday, literally and figuratively. It was rainy and raw. Gary had to battle a lousy commute, Danny had tons of end of semester work and I was just banging away on the keyboard in the basement all day. It was a perfect day for meatloaf and mashed potatoes. (unfortunately I did not have any creamed spinach in the house). Jana will not eat anything with the word loaf in it, so we are clear to eat this delicacy until she returns.

Funny, two people asked me what was for dinner today and when I told them, they were both jealous. Meatloaf. The universal comfort food. (nice tagline). For me it is second only to rice pudding, but I reserve that for life crisis. Meatloaf is more the everyday comfort food, rice pudding is the ‘my life is on fire’ type.

So tell me, what is your comfort food?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

8 Comments

Filed under danny, family, moms, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , ,

April 27, 2009 · 11:28 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Not Dead Yet

grateful-dead

“Look at these pictures of my son, Jerry Garcia Friedman”.

That was a comment from a women who was sitting near my friends as they waited for us to arrive at The Dead concert Saturday night at Madison Square Garden.

Can’t make this stuff up.

There were those who scoffed at the idea of seeing The Dead sans Jerry Garcia. I could have leaned towards that camp but the desire to ‘go home again’ outweighed the purist in me. Perhaps he was there in spirit in the baby pictures of that old deadhead sitting behind my friends. Or maybe, just maybe, he was channeling through Warren Haines every so often.

Let’s face it. We all have the rhythms and melodies of our adolescence. The songs that can bring a tear to our eyes our a devilish grin to our faces. For some of us (and you know who you are Karen) it is Barry Manilow. For others (who are still friends with you in spite of that) it would be the cosmic meanderings of a good Dead song.

We are a tribe of sorts. We all went our separate ways but somehow that music makes us feel better when we hear it. And for those who are fortunate to have passed the love on to our kids, the bond gets stronger.

A few observations, some mine, some quoted from others.

“A Dead show is like going to Synagogue (fill in your religious affiliation). I don’t know if I necessarily believe, but I feel like I belong there”. That was from Dave. Very profound, my friend.

“I felt like I was eating the leftovers of a really amazing meal.” This one was from my son!! He was too young to have ever seen Jerry but he had to see what was left of the band. That 4th grade teacher had it right when she called him the happy go lucky deep thinker. Anyone steals that line and I will hunt you down. Not just because I am his mother, I think that line was brilliant.

Ok, here is the part where if you are not a Grateful Dead fan you may want to get a cup of coffee and move along.

Something that is NOT ok for a set list: Albama Getaway into Dark Star (what were they thinking?). Thank goodness they did not play that on Saturday.

Starting the second set with a 35 minute space Jam (oh excuse me Rhythm Devils) into Cryptical into Other One into Born Cross-eyed into St. Stephen was a bit too much. This was all a space head’s fantasy but this crowd was bored and talking. You can do that in the middle of set but to start, not so much. Almost a solid hour of way out there, even for someone who loves the sound.

What has NOT changed about a DEAD show? Tie dye, old hippies, dread locks, clouds of pot smoke, girls in long patchwork skirts (where do they pick them up nowadays), taking an 8-year-old is still a bad idea no matter how much you want to share with your kid and even if you have the most amazing seats (second row on the side of corner stage) the biggest, dancingest guy will always sit in front of you causing you to have to stand the entire show.

What HAS changed: most people had to take out their glasses to read their tickets.

All in all, I would say for a few brief hours I did go home again. Like Dave, I don’t know why but I just felt like I belonged.

And in these times there is nothing wrong with a little comfort food for the soul.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

3 Comments

Filed under music, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

April 20, 2009 · 8:05 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Twenty!

jana_at_20

Indulge me – if you will – this little walk down the long and winding road of parenthood, for this week I will celebrate not only the birthday of my oldest child, but the anniversary of my 20th year of parenting.

What the hell!

Sometimes I wake up and forget how old I am.  I have had some weird dreams about not studying for a test, or being at camp or some other adolescent place and I totally forget that I am the mom of these young adults. I am embarrassed to say there are times when they are way more grown up than I am.

When I stop to think about it the whole thing is rather staggering.

Twenty years of “I’m the mommy, that’s why”. Two decades of being responsible for the well-being of other human beings. Two hundred and forty months of always being cognitive of other people’s whereabouts and safety. Seven thousand three hundred nights of being only as happy as my most miserable child.

You get the picture.

I have done many things in my life. Built a career, nurtured (or is that tortured) a marriage, made a house a home, navigated the nastiness of the healthcare system with my parents, built friendships and contributed to a community. But there is no other single thing I have done in my life that has had a greater impact on me than being a mom. Seriously. Not because I am expected to feel that way. Or because that is what I want my kids to think. But because it is simply…

True.

I am a better person for what they have taught me to be. From the moment they could reach out and hold my hand as we crossed the street, to the day when they had to push that hand away and ‘do it themselves’. They have taught me when to hold tight, and more importantly, when to let go.

Here’s to you, baby girl. Kiss your teens goodbye and grab your twenties by the balls. You are truly someone to proud of.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

9 Comments

Filed under family, Jana, moms, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , ,

March 30, 2009 · 10:01 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – I Can

basketballwithmike

Imagine a toddler falling in love with his Little Tikes basketball hoop and finding a life’s passion at a tender young age.

Imagine that same little boy, no more than 10 years old, shooting hoops in his ice-encrusted driveway during the dead of winter. Hour after hour. Defying all laws of frostbite and logic. Driven to perfect his shot at all costs.

Now imagine him as a crazed adolescent bouncing that damn ball throughout the house, driving his mother over the edge. (part of the fun, I am sure).

Fast forward to 9th grade and this young man struggles with the decision to leave his friends and the security of his hometown public school to attend a private High School and be part of an elite basketball team. Forgoing summer camp opportunities he chose to play basketball year round to hone his game. Playing through injuries and, well – not so gently put – height challenges. All without a single complaint. Never saying die. Always pushing forward, doing his best, working his hardest. With a smile on his face.

‘I can!’

Mikey Buckets, they have called him. He is smart, swift and driven. What he lacks in size he makes up for in court sense. I have known him since he was in utero and quite frankly I have come head to head with his determined style on some not so pleasant occasions during his early years. But as we hoped, he channeled that determination to be the best he could possibly be. Against all odds.

The reason I am writing about him today is because I could not be any prouder if I had carried this child myself. This past weekend, as a 10th grader on varsity, his team won the state finals! A dream realized for a young man who never listened to the mean-spirited commentary that he was too short. Too white. Too green. Too suburban. Too much of a dreamer to make it in such a competitive sport.

So here’s to you Mike, I am proud to say at your tender age of 15 you are an inspiration to me. One of my heroes. And whenever I think I can’t, you will remind me that I sure as hell can.

We love you!

(but PLEASE, can you stop dribbling that ball in the house!)

The photo above is Mike and my son Danny. A REALLY long time ago.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

5 Comments

Filed under games, teenagers, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , ,

March 23, 2009 · 9:33 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Lifestyles of the Rich & Clueless

prada_purple_jeweled_bag

Prada purple stone nylon patent trim medium tote from Bluefly

Yesterday Newsday ran an article titled, Luxury retailers hit as wealthy LIers cut back, too. Catchy title, right? Actually terrible title. LIers means Long Islanders in this context, but hey, this looks mysteriously like LIARS to me.

In the wake of AIG rage, a reporter did a piece on how the wealthy in my neck of the woods are ‘cutting back’ in reaction to the economic crisis. Touching. Seriously folks, is the best use of ink on paper? Does it help for the average Long Island resident to read these sound bites? It feels as if the media is out there fueling the divide. Why? Maybe because it is so entertaining to read this stuff:

There was a time not long ago when Marina Stern of Great Neck would buy a $1,500 shirt without thinking twice. She can still afford to, she said, but now, she’s more likely to go for the one costing $500.

No I am not kidding, that was a direct copy and paste. Marina, I am thinking perhaps you should have kept that inane comment to yourself, not making you look so good hon. The funny thing for me was that I really had no idea you could actually buy a $1,500 shirt. I mean, what’s the point? Chances are I would probably drop something and stain it anyway.

Don’t worry, it gets better:

While no one has yet requested a plain wrapper for their purchases at Prada in Manhasset, some are asking that multiple purchases go into one bag. “A lot of them say, ‘I don’t want to be too showy,'” an employee said. “What if they randomly walked into a girlfriend who lost a ton of money and their husband lost a job? It would feel funny.”

Funny? SERIOUSLY! Um, only mention of the husband losing a job? Oh right, women don’t work in this group, but apparently they do have the ability to *lose a ton of money*.

Here is another gem:

 “They’re still buying luxury but maybe not the big purple bag with stones on it,” said the Prada employee. “Instead of two $3,000 jackets, they’re saying ‘OK, I have to choose one.'”

Maybe the reason you should not buy the big purple bag with stones on it is because IT IS UGLY! Never mind the $1,000+ price tag.

Ok, enough! You get the point. Understand, this is not the norm on Long Island. Not even on the ‘Gold Coast’. This is a stereotypical representation of the wealthy in our area. They are no different in the OC, or Palm Springs, Miami or New England. These people are a parody. Of themselves perhaps. And the media that feeds off their clueless behavior is adding no value to society.

Hey, things are hard enough out there. Must we feed off this stuff  in anger?

I will leave you with a comedic comment from the friend who linked me to this article early this morning:

I have vomited from these people my whole life. Now I can openly show my disdain for them. It is fashionable. Lets go to the [local belly of the beast restaurant] and have some fun.  

Perhaps, my friends, this has all simply become sport.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

4 Comments

Filed under absurdities, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

March 16, 2009 · 8:14 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Bear

the-baer

Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you.

A friend told me that once. And today in the middle of today I was pretty sure I was becoming Yogi’s lunch.

I sent that line out on twitter in a moment of exasperation and this came back from a cool guy, @jaybaer:

“Nice. I have a similar sign in my office…Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.”

There is something rather comforting in knowing that we all have those kind of days. We work hard, plug away and try our best and sometimes that is not good enough. Or it is, but it is perceived as not good enough. Seriously, does it really matter?

The good news is by the end of the day I was doing the eating. Or being the pigeon. Or whatever the hell it was that made me come out whole before the sun went down.

The most important lesson of the day was that I did not run from the bear. Or the pigeon. And more importantly I did not panic or lose it. Because as we all know, panic never helped any situation.

Anyone out there visualizing a bloody Amy with pigeon crap all over her? Please! Don’t be so damn literal.

Now get out there and do your best. Even if someone else might not think it is good enough.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , ,

March 9, 2009 · 10:02 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Three Mugs

success_peace_loveWe have these three wonderful mugs in our house. I am not sure why we bought a set of only 3, but they strike such a beautiful balance that it seemed ok.

Gary loves the shape of these mugs. He loves their size and how the handle is perfectly formed. Mostly he loves that he can drink his *earl gray with honey* in a mug big enough that he does not need a refill (anyone who has ever eaten with my husband is surely smiling at this comment). This drink is like a religious experience for him.

I was quite sure he never looks at which mug he grabs. He only cares that it is one of these perfect sage green ones. As a little test I asked him tonight what the three green mugs said. “um, joy?” No sorry, hon. “peace and love?” good call. “happiness” forget it babe. Do you care which one you drink out of? “yeah,right!”

I bought them for both their form and their decoration. These three words seemed so perfect.

Success. Peace. Love.

I love words. I guess those of you who read me regularly know that. I have words pinned up to bulletin boards, etched in rocks, inlaid in mosaics, stuck to the fridge, you name it. There is something comforting in being surrounded by them.

So it would seem fitting to drink out of a specific one of these word mugs as my mood changes. This makes sense if you are insane in the same way that I am.

Success. In these crazy economic times, especially after waking to the unsettling morning news, I drink my coffee out of  Success, figuring I need all the help that I can get.

Peace. During times of turmoil, both global and personal, I will reach for his mug and hope that it will calm me to drink from it. I usually drink tea from Peace.

Love. When I miss my little girl or right after I watch my boy walk out the door as the man he is becoming, I drink from the Love mug. It reminds me how lucky I am to have built this beautiful family.

In a world gone crazy, at a time when nothing seems within our control, it is nice to keep small rituals that feed your soul.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

2 Comments

Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,