Category Archives: absurdities

March 11, 2012 · 9:03 pm

Flea Market Cutie

I spent the afternoon at the Chelsea flea markets last Sunday and I almost got whiplash trying to capture all the bizarre images of the day. This particular image spoke to me on so many levels. There she was… the quintessential 1950s paper doll, posing Carol Merill style next to a treasure trove of old photos. I love her foundation garment (hey, my first job out of art school was with Maidenform – that is what you call any type of underwear).

What struck me about this shot and the angle in which I captured it, were the categories of images the vendor had chosen to feature. Some are not that easy to read, or are covered up, so I will list them here:

  • Interiors
  • Post-Mortem: Death, Funeral, Memorial
  • Costumes
  • Holidays, Weddings
  • Parades
  • Disasters/Accidents
  • Fishing

Some commentary (what, you thought this would go without my thoughts?)

Ok, I can see why you would collect period interiors. I am sure there is a market for that. And costumes, ok, that makes sense. Holidays, I get that and I suppose throwing weddings in with them goes with the celebration theme. Parades, yeh, that could have an appeal on some level. And fishing? Well I suppose if the images were of some big fish there would be those lovers of the sport who might find these interesting.

But Post-Mortem?! I shudder to think who would want to purchase these. Why on earth did I not think to browse through these photos to see what the hell was in there that illustrated death, funeral and memorial? And Disasters/Accidents (love the slash), this was probably the pay dirt of the bizarre.

Now I HAVE to go back and check these out. And I am pretty sure I will have to buy some of them. Stay tuned, this could surely have a great follow-up post in the coming weeks.

Ok, so other people actually SHOP when they go to these things. Me? Not so interested in owning other people’s junk, I just like to photograph it.

 

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March 11, 2012 · 12:13 am

Pugz?

Yes Pugz… Uggs for dogs. And yes they come in sizes.

Thank goodness they are made of faux leather and faux wool. It would be so wrong for a pet to be wearing another animal.

You know, because it isn’t wrong to put little Uggs on your friggin dog. Jeez. This is just going to far. Look at the dog in this picture. It actually looks humiliated.

Although these would go nicely with the biker dude jacket on the dog in Home Depot. Or the Ed Hardy hoodie (say that 3 times fast) that I saw on a Yorkie in Delray. Only sorry I couldn’t snap that picture fast enough.

I clicked over to their site and found these high tops as well. Not going to lie, I do find them kind of cool. Oh right, if people were not putting them on their DOGS! Dr. Jimmy, this would make sense for your dogs… if they weren’t over 100 lbs.!

I love that each unit comes with 4 shoes. So if you are considering this for your 3 legged pooch you will find yourself with an extra. Maybe you can bronze it. (do people still do that with baby shoes?)

Is it because I have a big dog that I have such an aversion to pets in clothing? Or is it because pets in clothing is just friggin’ ridiculous.

Either way, this one wins an MFTA award for sure.

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March 7, 2012 · 10:52 pm

Pee Wee’s Playhouse?

No, I did not set this picture up. What kind of pervert do you take me for? This gift from the MFTA gods just happened to be in a little store window in Williamsburgh as we were walking from drinks to dinner the other night. I love the Mac Mini box he is sitting on.

For those who are not familiar with Pee Wee Herman, he had a kids’ show from ’86-’91 called Pee Wee’s Playhouse  that was a big hit. That crossed over into my early child-bearing years but for some reason I remember us watching this before we had kids. He had sort of a cult following of 20-somethings that were simply amused by his humor.

His other claim to fame had to do with a popcorn container with a hole in it at the movies.

Unfortunate.

Whoever set-up the gnome in the crotch window display surely remembered that scandal.

And to think, I almost passed right by this one!

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March 1, 2012 · 7:18 pm

Kosher Dog Biscuits?

The first thing I will say about this shot is, only on the North Shore of Long Island.

This, my friends, is the bakery case at a local pet store. Yes, a bakery case. And these would be dog biscuits sporting messages in yiddish and hebrew. Both are fairly common slang that even those not of the tribe would probably recognize, but just in case, these are the definitions.

Oy vey! Sort of like OMG for Jews. In a sentence, “Oy vey, these people are selling dog biscuits with yiddish sayings on them”.

Shalom: Hello. Goodbye. Peace. Jews like to conserve and recycle. Contextual clues usually give this one away. Yet when someone says, “Shalom, my friend’, you might have no idea what he really means.

I must not forget to point out the half off sale price. Because, you know, we Jews love a good bargain.

No, I did not buy these for the puppy and yes, people did watch me take the picture. I am guessing it might have discouraged sales that day.

 

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February 5, 2012 · 11:04 pm

Easy Feet

No more bending to clean your feet? That just about says it all. These suckers suction cup to the shower flo0r and scrub-a-dub-dub your little piggies without that huge hassle of bending over to wash them. Because, you know, bending over in the shower can be dangerous. In some contexts. Or perhaps if you are morbidly obese.

So, the question is, are those two populations big enough to sell this item to or is that the reason I found this on the sale table?

Have to admit I am a little temped by the over 1,000 bristles…

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February 3, 2012 · 2:38 pm

Komen Foundation Shoots Itself in the Foot

Literally.

Fresh off the biggest PR disaster of the week/month/year, the de-funding of Planned Parenthood;  the Susan G. Komen Foundation hits the wires again. Only hours after changing its policy on funding and reinstating the Planned Parenthood dollars.

Yes folks, they have partnered with a likely brand… Discount Gun Sales.

Discount Gun Sales is proud to team up with the Susan B. Koman [sic] Foundation to offer the Walther P-22 Hope Edition in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A portion of each P-22 Hope Edition will be donated to the Seattle Branch of the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

The P-22 Hope Edition has an exclusive DuraCoat Pink slide in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness month. Utilizing the same reliable controls and firing mechanism that has made the Walther P-22 America’s top selling handgun, the Hope Edition will be a limited production pistol offered exclusively through Discount Gun Sales.

Funny, that link is suddenly dead… pun intended. And partnering with gun sales, I suppose you could call that a different kind of birth control.

Seriously! Is no one paying attention over there?

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February 1, 2012 · 10:14 pm

Munchies

This one was sent to me from my friend Doreen. Dor and I have been known to get into a bit of trouble together. We met in college and traveled cross country together after graduation. Do the math on that one.

This photo presented itself to her as a gift from the universe. How else would one explain that being with the enormous ass and the minuscule head on the left side of the shot. Actually, she said she had stopped to take the picture and he just walked into the frame. Ahhhh… the blog gods were working overtime that day! Hey this place has beer, wine, liquor, lottery and ATM… seriously what more do you need. Maybe a little Slim Jim or a Twinkie and I am sure they have those too.

Places like this should be declared landmarks so their signage is preserved. I cannot imagine a world without them.

Thanks Dor.

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February 1, 2012 · 1:00 am

Lord of the Flies

Or in this case, Lady. This story was just too bizarre to not share. And I am thinking of it as a sort of public service announcement in case this happens to anyone else.

A friend Facebook messaged me about an email she had sent that I did not receive for a project we are working on. This is what she said:

trying so hard to get stuff done but my house is infested with flesh eating flies…you should feature me on your blog… really…..ive been at that about to cry point since last sunday when i walked downstairs to 500 flies in my living room….uch…..

Wow, I thought, that is quite an opening line from someone I have not heard from in awhile. The visual of her lovely home infested with flies had sort of a Steven King feel to it. My response:

omg that sounds like a horror movie and no i did not get the email. what address did you send it to? flesh eating flies? WTH

I can be so sensitive.

Now here is where it is obvious that even a woman with flesh eating friggin flies in her house can still multi-task while telling her woes of this horrible episode. Here was her response:

where should i re-send to….i’ll send now…. and yes…. eat flesh of dead animal……took exterminator 3 days of coming back to finally find dead squirrel…. flies laid eggs…. on to 2nd batch hatching….. nothing they can do about it…. now that squirrel is gone waiting for them to die of starvation if i don’t get to them first…

So here is to you, my friend. Even though your lovely husband (and I do think he is wonderful) was in CA for the football game while this went down, and the little buggers seem to hide at night when he comes home so you are left to be the crazy woman in the house killing thousands of flies while your lazy dog does nothing, I still hold to the idea that we are never given more than we can bear.

And yes, I was not alone with my suggestion of mass quantities of alcohol because what else can you do in this situation but drink those little bastards away. Here’s hoping you are sweeping up fly carcasses (or is the carci?) and this will be behind you soon enough.

And hey, the offer to have the puppy come over and exterminate them still stands.

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January 26, 2012 · 10:41 pm

I Take a Sheet

This is a banner week for people sending me things. This one comes from Natasha.

What a campaign! If you have ever eaten dinner over you know there is an inordinate amount of discussion surrounding…

taking a sheet. You could say we are a little preoccupied with it (or is that just me?)

I can’t imagine how they ever got the client to go for this campaign, but honestly I think it is hysterical and will surely get attention for this ridiculous product; Energy sheets that melt in your mouth like those breath strips with ‘vitamins’ and… caffeine, to help you with endurance when you are doing sports.

You know, for those who don’t give a sheet about their bodies (sorry, cheap shot).

BTW, their website is a gas. (I know I have a million of these)

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January 25, 2012 · 8:49 pm

Avoid poking eyes.

Do you ever wonder who writes these guides? Did someone post a complaint on the Facebook page of the Wahl Lithium Home Hair Cutter complaining that they had tried poking their eyes with this item and it caused injury? Did this person’s parents never use the phrase, ‘Knock it off, you’ll poke your eye out’ whilst they were fiddling around with something as a kid?

A big thanks to Joyce for sending this baby over just as I was pondering a topic for today’s post. Another reader sent me something yesterday that I am contemplating posting but it might just be too outrageous for me (doubtful).

 

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