Category Archives: absurdities

June 22, 2010 · 11:07 pm

Discount Sushi?


After a good Time to Cry Tuesday it is always fun to follow it up with a Time to Puke Wednesday.

Buy One Get One Free Sushi?

Um, ew.

I get it. At 5:59 it is still fresh. At 6:00, not so much. And then there is that legal disclaimer up in the right corner of the shot:

Consuming raw or undercooked seafood can increase the risk of food borne illness, especially in the young, the elderly, or those with weakened immune systems.

Yikes, check your guest list before you serve the sushi, kids. Certainly the (almost) day old kind.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 18, 2010 · 7:22 pm

The ‘girls’ in their summer clothes…

Like This!

Do you think this is what Springsteen had in mind when he wrote this song?

I am not gonna lie, I chased this guy down from 7th Avenue and 23rd Street to Broadway and 21st before I got this perfect shot. Yes, I am worried about the fact that I have become a bit of a stalker. But so far I have not gotten caught.

I always wonder what possesses people to put clothing on dogs. I sort of get the little coats and sweaters, maybe even the little orange socks to keep their feet clean if you are predisposed to OCD.

But a blue gingham sundress?!

MFTA material for sure!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 9, 2010 · 10:31 pm

Britney Barbie – hold the undies

Cheap shot, I know. Who could resist what with her latest headlines about sexually harrassing her bodyguard by walking around her house naked in front of him. Yeh, I would imagine most guys would hate that. WTF?

Could it be true that her dad charged her staff to make sure she never left the house without underwear on? A 29-year-old woman whose dad is doing a regular skivvie check, what is that all about?

I am thinking she could offset the legal bills if she licensed herself for the limited edition britney barbie sans foundation garments.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 8, 2010 · 11:17 pm

Funniest Picture Ever!

I don’t know why but every time I look at this picture I laugh to the point of tears. There was a bike tour in Madison this weekend and a bunch of people were riding these old bikes. One guy was walking his and Jana and I stopped to see how he was going to get back on. I kept snapping shots hoping to catch him at the moment that he mounted the bike.

Instead I caught him in the act of choking himself to death while putting his helmet on:

I dare you not to laugh when you look at this. He looks a little bit like Franklin the turtle, no?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 7, 2010 · 12:33 am

Cosmic Brownies?


Who knew that crazy Little Debbie would think to come up with an item like Cosmic Brownies?

There she sits in the upper left corner of the package wearing that goofy hat and the look of pure innocence while peddling wacky hallucinagenic confections.

At first I thought I read the package wrong. Could there be a brand manager out there who is so clueless they did not get what this implied? Or is the entire brand team still laughing at what they got away with?

Of course I found this as an impulse by item at a Walgreens in a college town.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 2, 2010 · 9:46 pm

Got Balls?

Yes it is quite obvious that these type of people seek me out on the road and present themselves in front of me. It has become more than just a coincidence at this point.

I have a few friends that I would love to buy this bumper sticker for, and you certainly know who you are. (cough, cough, Joanne)

I particularly like the way the bumper is dented and the sticker is damaged, it makes it look that much ballsier.

Do you think this would look good on the back of my momUV?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 1, 2010 · 10:31 pm

Tongue Cleaner

Forgot my camera today but luckily I had my phone. Not the best picture but you can still see this baby tucked in between the Canker Cover and the Humming Bird (I am not going to even ask what THAT is used for). This display was the trifecta of absurdities. Just my kind of merchandising.

I can’t imagine using this item but who could resist the tagline: your breath’s friend! With a TM no less.

Dr. Jimmy? Commentary?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 29, 2010 · 6:29 pm

Back Waxing

While taking this picture on Main Street in my town a couple walked by and he said, “Hey, maybe I should go get my back waxed.”

I must say that $40 seems awfully cheap for a whole back, doesn’t it?

Is there really anything else for me to say about this that I have not already said? Please refer back to this post and this post to hear my opinion of hairy backs.

That should do it. Enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 28, 2010 · 8:00 pm

The Colonoscopy: A recap in 3 acts

Act One: Scheduling the appointment

Me: Hello, I would like to schedule an appointment for my colonoscopy.

Receptionist: Oh, we have an opening on the 28th at noon.

Me: (thinking ‘an opening’ was a poor choice of words) I will take it.

Understanding that this was the Friday of a holiday weekend I figured it would be a good day to take off, and I jumped at the idea of the weight loss.

Yes I am extremely shallow.

Act Two: The pre-prep (I will spare you the actual prep because I am classier than that)

Me: What flavor Gatorade should I mix the Miralax with?

Danny: Yellow

Gary: Yellow

Jana: Yellow

I bought grape.

Oh, and yellow – I am not an idiot! I did the taste test and under the advisement of Jana’s boyfriend decided on yellow because he said I would get sick of the grape after the second glass.

Jana: OMG you are mixing that ENTIRE bottle of Miralax* into that Gatorade, that is like a month’s worth!

Me: Yeh, I know. I thought that is why you were going to stay at Corey’s house for the night.

You will be happy to know that after I fasted for 24 hours and had been starving for a day Gary came home and made himself probably the most delicious smelling omelette ever made on the face of this earth.

I asked him why he didn’t bake a chocolate cake right after that too.

* I would like to mention that on the side of the Miralax package it states that your stool may become soft and runny… um is that not the point of a laxative?

Act Three: Phone call with a friend after the colonoscopy was finished

Friend: How are you feeling?

Me: Not bad, actually. It was just like any other Friday at work except this time I was sedated before I got reamed up the ass.

Friend: I guess I should tell you my daughter is in the car and I am on speakerphone (note: daughter is in college)

Me: Well, now is as good a time as any for her to hear about the real world.

Daughter: Thanks Amy, I really appreciate that.

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 25, 2010 · 10:22 pm

AARP… Time Flies

Today we have a guest post from my friend Susan. After yesterday’s post about time flying, she thought this was the perfect follow up. I, personally, love a good AARP post

Feels like just last month that my daughter Jess finished her first year of college. And then in the blink of an eye..she receives her AARP card … such a wonderful organization with great benefits like long-term care insurance, vision plans and more.

It is true that time sure flies…but this seems particularly quick. Or did AARP mistakenly send a membership card to a 19 year old?

I will figure out the answer after I go upstairs to ask my daughter to clean up her room…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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