Monthly Archives: November 2009

November 6, 2009 · 9:49 pm

Drugstore Fun

comfy-cradle

I have proven that I can have fun just about anywhere. Today it was in the drug store while shopping for a get well gift. Joyce, my sometimes MFTA by proxy was delighted to partake in the shoot.

I am always amazed at the terrible packaging in the section with the braces and bandages. This item struck me immediately. First, I have been pregnant twice and honestly, I am so very thankful that no one ever prescribed the Comfy Cradle for me. I mean, it is not like it did not get to be a chore around the 8th or 9th month, but I never had the need to use apparatus to hold up my babies. I like that 17 years later this item makes me feel grateful for that fact.

With all due respect to the product, because I am sure there are many that get major relief from this sucker, but they really need to take a look at updating their packaging. Where should I start? Ok, Starwars light sabre background, not all that contemporary. Hairstyle? Quite popular towards the beginning of the 80s, now, not so much. Low cut leotard? Just don’t get that.

But the thing about this package that gives this today’s Magnet For the Absurd award is the healthcare worker in the top left corner. Am I mistaken, or is she holding a 3 month old? Seriously, if that is the size baby this woman is carrying, no wonder she needs the Comfy Cradle. This kid looks like it came out ready to eat solid food for G-d’s sake!

So, Scott Specialties, Inc., you may want to consider a redesign. Give me a shout, I can spin my Art Direction skills and whip you up a wonderful new line of packaging. And since I clicked over to your website, we can help you out with that as well.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 5, 2009 · 11:29 pm

Godspeed?

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It may come as a shock to you, but no I did not take this picture in NY. This baby comes to me from cousin Kelly. He said he took it somewhere in Virginia (that would make more sense).

This is quite a vehicle, don’t you think? Screaming religion down the highway is rather odd, quoting all sorts of scriptures and the like.

But tell me, what is an unusalist? Could that be a typo right there on the bumper? Did they mean unusualist? Actually, neither of them is in the dictionary. Can one of my christian friends define this please?

This vehicle gives godspeed a whole new meaning.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 4, 2009 · 6:33 pm

Just tell them, “I don’t give a…

9226225xSeriously, how infantile is this? And how many of you want to purchase one and send it off to that special someone?

Thanks to my BBFF Liz for sending this a while back. She happens to be on vacation in the very country where they sell this baby, but still reading and commenting so I thought she would get a kick out of this.

This is a little different than sending someone a Big Box of Shut the Hell Up, but has the same sentiment. Sometimes people simply infuriate you. If you are prone to gift giving, these items surely fit the occasion.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 3, 2009 · 8:20 pm

Indecent Exposure

pants-down-front

mfta momentAt this point I am fairly convinced these things are put specifically in my path. Yes, I have been targeted in life, a true MFTA. How else can you explain this one?

I hardly ever go shopping, even more rarely am I in the men’s department of Macy’s. But today, while trying to get some clothes for the boy, we came across this scene. I took a picture of the back first (which was quite funny). But Danny casually walked passed these guys and told me the front was much better, then kept browsing through the racks. Seems the next generation has become accustomed to my need to capture the absurd.

This was surely better for him than the old lady I made him follow through the Bloomie’s women’s department wearing reptile tights, leg warmers and gold metallic Converse. (no Danny was not wearing that, the old woman was!) Sadly I could not get a good enough shot of her and he was not great camouflage for me in the evening dress department.

So back to Mr. No Head With His Pants Down. Of course I had to get a closer look at was was going on under those shirt tails. It seems the poor guy has just a hint of a package, if you will. Kind of like a nub or a turtle type shrinkage sort of apparatus. I guess you would say he was sort of anatomically… castrated.

Take a look for yourself:

anatomically-castrated

This all got me to thinking whether this was intentional or simply a wardrobe malfunction. What do you think?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 2, 2009 · 7:01 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sudden Death Overtime

senior-soccer-mohawk-boys

Sometimes sports terms can be so over-dramatic. You want to criticize the phrase but you really GET what it means.

The moment that goal hit the net, ‘IT’ was over. The whole shabang. 10+ years of standing on the side of a field or court, reduced to one slow-mo moment when the realization strikes that those days have come to a grinding halt.

Ok, some mothers can also be so over-dramatic.

Yes, soccer season ended last Friday. Danny’s team made a valiant effort but the host of injuries the team had suffered, coupled with the soccer gods not being on our side – oh and the fact that the other team scored that one damn goal at the right place at the right time – ended the playoffs in the first round.

There stood a team of mohawked heads – some bleached blonde – stunned as their last efforts were just not good enough. Yes, someone has to win and someone has to lose.

But the loss was not only on the field that day. It was the loss of an era. The retirement of the Soccer Mom (and Dad) in many of us. Second child, last sports season. How the hell did that happen?

I think back on the years when we were in the thick of 2 kids in sports. The weeks of running, running, running. Work left undone to make it to the game on time. The rainy days, the games as it turned dark, the traffic, the late dinners or no dinners at all. Homework till midnight and laundry, laundry, laundry. Lost uniform parts and broken laces and temper tantrums abounded. (those might have been mine)

I know it sounds crazy, but I am really going to miss all that. Well, maybe not all of it. But I think the end of parenting eras are like childbirth. You don’t remember the labor all that clearly, but you never forget the way it felt when they handed you that infant.

Likewise, I will try to fade the memories of being soaked to the bone or frenzied too far to enjoy ‘the moments’, and I will forever keep the image of my kids on the field, running their hearts out, having the time of their lives.

It is no coincidence that the day after the game I heard this song, not once, but twice on the radio. “For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.”

Email subscribers, click the still frame link to watch the video, and join me in a good cry…

this Tuesday.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 1, 2009 · 9:59 pm

What a Difference a G Makes

anus-deluxe

Yep, thinking of going out tonight with the family to try the new Micky D’s Anus Deluxe. You know, because the Anus Minis are just not filling enough. I will refrain from all the other follow-up comments that have run through my twisted little brain as I am listed as a mom blogger in some online communities and really, this is so inappropriate.

Ok, so maybe everyone loves a girl fight, doodyman, and metal dildos are probably not all that maternal either.

Thanks  to Cousin Frankie for sending me this photo. Keep the absurdities coming, folks.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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