Tag Archives: colonoscopy

December 4, 2010 · 12:35 am

Tandem Colonsocopy

I get a close marriage. I am touched by a couple that wants to share everything. But a colonoscopy day? Hmmmm… not so much.

I bring this up because I have some friends (who will go unnamed so unless you were in the room don’t even try to ask who) that decided to book their colonoscopies on the same day. The sentiment was to be miserable together so neither one could really complain all that much and to get it over with together.

Isn’t half the fun of a colonoscopy the complaining. Oh right, now the fun is all in crapping your brains out, I forgot, forgive me. If you recall I did a very extensive blog post on my first colonoscopy

Sorry, this is just a little too much togetherness for me. And who gets the better bathroom?

Let’s put this out for a vote:

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July 15, 2010 · 5:42 pm

Flushing out ideas and marketing the crap out of them

Ok, today’s post is a little entertainment from the land of advertising. Is it still referred to as Madison Avenue or have the likes of crowdsourcing and word of mouth made that obsolete?

Whatever, this sucker came up as a facebook ad and I could not resist the click. You know, considering my obsession with ‘output’ and all. Would it really come as a surprise to you that a women who wrote about her colonoscopy in three acts would be inclined to go for the click on an ad with the title ‘Potty parody’ featuring a geeky guy on the toilet? I mean, a woman has only so much restraint!

I have also written about the Toilet Paper Advertising Smackdown so I suppose I am an expert the excrement, if you will.

Or won’t, for that matter.

So Clorox, don’t get all excited about me promoting your brand of toilet cleaner (mostly because I fear my green friends will get their underwear all in a knot over that… cough cough Dani and Jessica G). For the purpose of this post I am simply recognizing the creative and commending you on the facebook ad placement. That silly little targeting algorithm sure has this chick’s number.

The video is goofy but well written in an I-can’t-believe-how-lame-this-is-cheap-shot-sort-of-middle-school-bathroom- humor-that-I-still-have-not-outgrown sort of way. Tragically geekster hip but funny just the same. However, Ode to the Commode does not wring my bell nearly as much as the title of this post which came from the copy.

Here’s the vid, kids. See for yourselves. And there is a little poll at the end to vote for your favorite campaign name. Simply for my own entertainment.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 28, 2010 · 8:00 pm

The Colonoscopy: A recap in 3 acts

Act One: Scheduling the appointment

Me: Hello, I would like to schedule an appointment for my colonoscopy.

Receptionist: Oh, we have an opening on the 28th at noon.

Me: (thinking ‘an opening’ was a poor choice of words) I will take it.

Understanding that this was the Friday of a holiday weekend I figured it would be a good day to take off, and I jumped at the idea of the weight loss.

Yes I am extremely shallow.

Act Two: The pre-prep (I will spare you the actual prep because I am classier than that)

Me: What flavor Gatorade should I mix the Miralax with?

Danny: Yellow

Gary: Yellow

Jana: Yellow

I bought grape.

Oh, and yellow – I am not an idiot! I did the taste test and under the advisement of Jana’s boyfriend decided on yellow because he said I would get sick of the grape after the second glass.

Jana: OMG you are mixing that ENTIRE bottle of Miralax* into that Gatorade, that is like a month’s worth!

Me: Yeh, I know. I thought that is why you were going to stay at Corey’s house for the night.

You will be happy to know that after I fasted for 24 hours and had been starving for a day Gary came home and made himself probably the most delicious smelling omelette ever made on the face of this earth.

I asked him why he didn’t bake a chocolate cake right after that too.

* I would like to mention that on the side of the Miralax package it states that your stool may become soft and runny… um is that not the point of a laxative?

Act Three: Phone call with a friend after the colonoscopy was finished

Friend: How are you feeling?

Me: Not bad, actually. It was just like any other Friday at work except this time I was sedated before I got reamed up the ass.

Friend: I guess I should tell you my daughter is in the car and I am on speakerphone (note: daughter is in college)

Me: Well, now is as good a time as any for her to hear about the real world.

Daughter: Thanks Amy, I really appreciate that.

 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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