Category Archives: Uncategorized

September 27, 2008 · 12:03 am

And the chairs go up on the tables by 10

There are many advantages to living in the suburbs. It is a wonderful place to raise a family, you can have a garden, it is safe and clean.

But there is one thing about living here that I have never gotten used to. We eat late at home. And when we go out we like to linger. Sadly, the restaurants clear out by 10PM. On the weekends maybe you can stretch it to 10:30. And then the staff starts to get restless. In an awkward and uncomfortable sort of way. ‘Um waiter, could you not put on you coat just yet? If you hadn’t noticed, we are still dining here!’

This happens to the First Thursdays all the time. Many times we have watched as they put the chairs up on the tables around us. It drives me nuts.

Last night we reached new depths of being the last ones out. First we watched as the wait staff paraded past us carrying piles of table linens into the kitchen. I felt like it was laundry day at camp. Something tells me that the Culinary Institute does not teach this as part of their curriculum on customer relations.

Then, the valet parking guy came in and starting handing out keys. I am not sure if this has every happened before, but it was surely not all that endearing.

I have good friends who are chefs. I don’t remember this every going on in their restaurants. Even the suburban ones. Jeff, you never did this, did you?

What next, are they going to shut the lights? Come to think of it, they might have turned off the AC around 10.

Then again, at a table of menopausal women after a few bottles of wine, it was hard to tell.

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September 25, 2008 · 11:52 pm

I don’t watch much TV…

…but for this show I had to make an exception.

Z-Rock, rock Band by night, kid band by day.

Gary turned me onto this and I am pretty sure this is funniest thing I have seen in a long time.

The premise is a local NY band trying to make it. They play clubs at night and kid’s parties to pay the bills. Their ovebearing jewish manager happens to be Joan Rivers’ niece. Joan appears on the show and I was surprised at how current and absolutely hysterical she is.

The lead singer’s number one fan is Gilbert Gottfried’s little kid who hates his dad and idolizes the band member.

Here are a few of Joan’s sound bites from the last episode. How can you not want to watch this baby?

“A young vagina is a happy vagina.”

(um, define young, please)

Joan to the niece: “I will do this favor for you if you do that one thing I always ask you.”

Niece: “C’mon! Oh, alright. I will call my mother a whore at the next Passover seder. You can even ask it as the fifth question. Why is this night different from all other nights? Because my mother is a whore.”

For those who know me well, my nickname is Z. And of course you all know I rock, making this show close to my heart and a must watch, laugh out loud experience.

You can catch this on IFC, Sunday nights at 11:30 or on iTunes.

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September 24, 2008 · 10:32 pm

Taxicab Confessions

One thing that took us by surprise in Vegas was how talkative and friendly the cabbies were. Not to say the NY cab driver is not a cordial breed. But honestly, I sometimes worry I will lose a shoe when getting out one because they are driving away before I fully get out.

Our last night in the City of Sin brought us to a wonderful restaurant about 20 minutes off the strip called Rosemary’s. (Thanks for the suggestion Jeff, it was amazing).

Every Vegas cabbie has a story. This particular one started to chat about the Northeast and why he left. He talked about having been very fortunate early in his career and raising 4 daughters in Westport, CT. Now this guy, he had a long gray ponytail and the look of many years of partying hearty. Not exactly your typical Westport resident.

Of course Gary had to ask him what he did. He told us he was a musician and had great success (um, then why are we driving a cab in Vegas, again?).

Gary: what band?

Cabbie: oh, a little band called ‘the iron butterfly”

Gary: Get the hell out of here. In-a-gada-da-vita?!!

Me: That was our wedding song (I was kidding, it was actually James Brown “I Feel Good”)

So, he and Gary go on to chat up music for the rest of the ride and I am squinting in the dark trying to get this guy’s name off the dashboard. He tells us that he played keyboard and sang. Being the blackberry detective, I look up Iron Butterfly and the names don’t match.

As we got out of the cab Gary asked his name. The name he gave was correct but certainly did not match his taxi license. Was this like his pen name for driving so people did not know it was him. Was he ghost driving?

Of course I had to go upstairs and do more Googling. What is wrong with me, don’t most people just gamble in Vegas.

He talked about playing Woodstock. The Iron Butterfly did not, they got stuck at the airport. He talked about growing up in Sty-town.  Doug Ingle was born in Omaha and grew up in the Rocky Mountains, then moved to San Diego. (uh, last I looked Sty-town was on the east side in NY).

My net of this experience?

Sometimes it is better not to have all that information at your fingertips. Wouldn’t it have just been cool to think that a past rock icon was our driver and he drove a cab so he could chat about the old days with people who cared? Here’s a great vintage vid for those of you who have been humming the song since I mentioned it.

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September 23, 2008 · 10:18 pm

Lace Love

Ok, everyone. Since Jana claimed to be more interesting than Danny in the comments section of my last post, she is proving it by taking part in our first poll experiment. After waiting many, many weeks Jana’s custom Nikes have arrived. They are cool, aren’t they? And tiny I might add… size 6.

She looks a bit like the Mona Lisa in this shot, doesn’t she? Well, she would if that uptight bee-otch – Mona not Jana – would have really cracked a good smile and showed off those beautiful teeth that her parents spent all that money on braces for.

Wait, did I just call the Mona Lisa an uptight bee-otch and did I claim she wore braces? I am really losing it.

This is a screen shot from a video chat session. She wanted us to help her decide. Note how happy Danny looks in the bottom screen. Frankly I think he is pissed about being labeled less interesting.

I just love this, don’t you? My kid is halfway across the country and we can do this kind of thing. Very cool indeed.

I expect lots of voting here everyone. That means all of you who don’t like to comment. I see the stats people, I know you are visiting!

And all of you who receive this by email, you lazy slugs are going to have to go directly to the blog to vote. Janny-girl, you better have all your friends vote so we don’t look foolish here, ok?

Come on everyone! Stop being so non-participatory for G-d’s sake. This is an interactive medium.

So interact. (jeez she is bossy!)

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September 22, 2008 · 11:58 pm

My 100th Post!

In celebration of this milestone, Time to Cry Tuesday will be more of a Time to Celebrate Tuesday (which is not a cool alliteration and will surely not catch on).

Believe it or not, this is my 100th post. No gifts are necessary but some comment love would be appreciated.

How poetic that I should write this on the flight home from my first blog-nerd gathering. I feel like I should call Willard Scott and get myself on a Smuckers spot on the morning news:

“i could cry but I don’t have time turns 100 posts young today. Its secret to longevity is a high fiber diet and an affinity for the absurd.”

There are many bloggers out there who trend towards creating a 100 things to do before I die list at this milestone. I will take Jana’s lead on not doing this as the last time we were in a bookstore with Gary she said, “Oh jeez, Dad is looking at the ‘1,000 things’ books. That is NOT a good thing!”

I have also seen 100 things you may not know about me lists. Let’s face it, I love you all out there, and I am sure the feeling is mutual (humor me). But there is a reason why you don’t know those 100 things about me.

Because they are BORING. This would be the equivalent of the drum solo at a Grateful Dead concert – a perfect time to go to the bathroom.

Instead I will use this post as a celebration. A celebration of change. Of following a passion (which by the way is a word I heard mentioned at least 1,000 times at Blogworld, followed closely by transparency and paradigm shift, to the point where they all lost their impact).

You can make a change anytime you choose.

I read a great book recently; The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. It is written from the point of view of the dog. It has surely made me pay more attention to Mel’s incessant barking of late. I am sure she is trying to tell me something. (either that or her bladder is just showing her age).

I will close with my favorite quote from this sage-like canine:

“That which you manifest is before you.”

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September 21, 2008 · 2:22 pm

My head is exploding…

In a good way.

Just left the keynote address at Blogworld’s final day.This was the rock star panel for sure.

Literally.

Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park and Timothy Ferriss of The 4-Hour Work Week fame with Rohit Bhargava, author of Personality Not Included and Sr. VP of the 360 Digital Influence team at Ogilvy. These guys were amazing!

Now, for my fave soundbites:

Rohit to Tim and Mike: “You guys are not assholes and you really could be. What makes you not assholes.”

Ummmm… anyone read my last post? Did I not talk assholes? Coincidence? I think not!

Tim: “Be vulnerable and open about your shortcomings and people will be more apt to help you.”

I love this advice as I am way over my head in this crowd and the idea of being OK with that is cool. Kind of like a little blogstyle valium. Or your mother telling you how smart you are even when you don’t feel that way. (by the way mom, thanks for always doing that. Note to self: start doing that to my kids).

Tim: “Talk to your readers the way you talk to your friends after 2 drinks.”

This one is great. If I were to write my mission statement that is what it would be. Most times I write in the same tone that I speak at a First Thurdays dinner. The key here is the number of drinks. Anything more than 2 and you start to sound like a blathering idiot. (Note to my kids: Just kidding, you should not drink and should always have a designated typist).

Off to another speaker session…

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September 20, 2008 · 10:30 pm

Do one thing everyday that scares you

The title of this post is an Eleanor Roosevelt quote.

If you have ever received an email from me you know that I use this in my signature. Sometimes just waking up and answering the crap shoot of personal and professional phone calls of late is something that scares me enough, thanks.

What does all this have to do with my trip to Vegas for Blogworld and New Media Expo you ask? (Or not if you did not know I was here).

I turned 49 this week, twice the age of many at this conference, I might add. Not that age is something that concerns me all that much as I am certainly more current than many of my peers and plastic surgery is not one of my top 10 topics of conversation. Nonetheless, it is both exhausting and exciting to be in the midst of such a huge shift in communications and content delivery.

Back to the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas issue. Leaving the basement office is not something I do all that often. And Vegas has surely not ever been on the top of my destination lists.

But blogging has changed me. The way I think. The way I think that I want to move forward professionally. And personally. It is like I have been waiting my whole life for this medium. And here I am in a room full of like-minded thinkers. Pretty cool, right?

Being here in the midst of all the early-adopters with their buzzwords and depth of knowledge can be a bit intimidating. It is also extremely invigorating. And to be honest, as much as I thought I did not know about this, in the 5 months that I have been doing it I have learned an awful lot. I fall into the category of late-early-adopters, perfect for me as I am notorious for being 10 minutes late.

How I feel about blogging keeps spilling out of the mouths of all the speakers. It is about passion. It is about relationship and community building. It is about harnessing that enthusiasm and translating it into a business model.

To my peers who keep asking me what a blog is and why they need to read them or have their businesses consider them, here is my takeaway from day one:

1. whether you are paying attention or not, people are talking about your business or product out there, it would be wise to start listening.

2. I have always said that if you are an asshole in real life then you are an asshole in business.

3. This conference is confirming for me that if you are sincere in real life you can translate that into growing your business passionately and whole-heartedly by developing an honest relationship with your customers.

4. For those who are not interested in the business aspect of blogging, if you are passionate about something, it is a way to connect with others who are just as passionate as you are. And certainly if you like to laugh or be amused, then of course you are reading MY blog and others on my blogroll and that is enhancing your life ; )

Now really. What is so scary about that?!

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September 20, 2008 · 2:02 am

What Happens in Vegas goes on Facebook

Yes, we have arrived. As as soon as the plane landed the guy a few seats ahead of us stood up and that is what was written on his shirt.

Kind of poetic for a Blog Conference weekend, don’t you think?

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September 18, 2008 · 10:17 pm

Welcome to Croatia


I still have a fax machine. I am not always sure why because most of the things I receive announce vacation packages, low health insurance costs and home improvement specials. (Actually, I should stop throwing that stuff out, I could use all three).

Today I received the actual Croatian Passport above. Believe it or not I also received the inside but I thought that it would not be all that fair to this guy named Ivan (no joke, that was really his name) to be putting his passport (not the most flattering pic I might add) up on the internet for all to see.

I think somewhere in the past I might remember that there is a travel agency in another zip code that has the same number as my fax. Either that or I just made that up and Ivan is some sort of spy and he thinks that I am his leader and we are going to escape to go on a very dangerous undercover global espionage adventure this weekend.

Wait. No I’m not. I am actually flying off to Vegas tonight to Blogworld and New Media Expo.

Yep, all you bloggers are jealous, right?

All my friends in real life (that would be IRL) can stop laughing at the thought of me in Vegas and be encouraging. Gary is coming to be supportive, provide comic relief and try to find a way for me to turn this crazy blogging jones into billable hours. Oh, and to probably sit by the pool and do a little gambling.

Hey, I wonder if there is a basement in the Bellagio in case I get freaked out above ground too long.

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September 17, 2008 · 8:55 pm

Gary and Amy’s Ronkonkoma Adventure

Yesterday I wrote about the Relations Auto Body Shop in this town. But I am so not done with the subject of Ronkonkoma. I really like to say that word! If you have ever ridden the Long Island Railroad there is a certain way they announce this station:

“Ron-Kon-Ko-Ma!”

In a really loud bellowing voice that starts in the diaphragm.

Oh sorry, I digress for a change. So, we drop Danny to go in search of a much needed cup of coffee and a bagel. I am pretty sure there is a law in suburban New York that there must be a bagel place (they are called places, not stores or restaurants) every 10-15 miles, max.

Now, Gary has this annoying habit of always pulling over and asking ME to ask some weirdo on the street for directions. They are usually unintelligible, have no teeth, smell terrible or are just plain stupid.

The first person we asked satisfied the first 3 criteria. He was this rather old, skinny, shuffling sort of guy who mumbled and pointed in a direction down the road, kind of smiled and giggled and wandered off. We drove about 200 yards and came across a 7-11 and assumed that is where he was sending us.

The second person we asked was in the parking lot. She told us there was a great bagel place but she had no idea how to give us directions to it. She satisfied the last criteria (just plain stupid).

Gary went inside and got directions and on his way out who came shufflng up but the old guy. So, what did he do? Of course he brought him over to the car to ‘meet his wife’.

Oh Gary, so funny.

After googling on the blackberry and a false turn into a parking lot with a really sleezy bagel place we did find the perfect one and had a lovely, rather inexpensive in a let’s move to Ronkonkoma sort of way, breakfast.

But all this was not the truly funny part of the day. That happened a little later in the day on the way home when we stopped at a mall to buy Danny is birthday I-touch (jealous? I am).

On the way out we passed a mattress store with two people lying on a bed. Gary got that glint in his eye that can only mean trouble and said, “Watch this, I am going to lie down in between the two of them.” Danny did not believe him. Yes, of course he marched himself into that mattress store and started to crawl up on the bed in between the couple. The salesman freaked, “Uh, sir. What ARE you doing?”

Gary, “Oh, I’m sorry, I did not realize anyone was on this bed.”

Imagine the look on a 16-year-old boy’s face when his father pulls a stunt like that!

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