Category Archives: travel

July 4, 2011 · 12:14 am

Overheard on the Fire Island Ferry

Yesterday we spent a glorious day on Fire Island. It was one of those picture perfect summer mornings when taking the ferry sets the tone for the wonderful day ahead. Years ago, we spent our summers there in share houses. Yesterday we were visiting friends who we met back then and now own a home just blocks away from where we stayed.

As we sat down on the top deck of the ferry I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. It struck me how that whole scene was flashback to those carefree days before kids, mortgages and a few decades of hard work had worn us down. These people were us back then and it was fun to revisit that time. One thing that has not changed are the silly conversations you overhear on that boat. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Me? I hate to shower alone when I am stoned. I INSIST that someone sits in the bathroom with me while I shower. (as an aside, she was adorable and I am thinking there was a line in her house for volunteers)

2. So, she was there last night and I have to say she is such a bitch. Then I get home and she had friended me. And I am like all, well I can’t ignore the friend request so I just gave her limited access.

Very.

Limited.

Access.

3. Did you see her wall this morning. I could not believe her x-boyfriend’s sister left this whole long thing congratulating her on her engagement. Even SHE knew her brother was an asshole.

Gary still marvels at my ability to keep a conversation with him going and still be able to hear these other things being said around me. I think that women have an innate ability to do that. It is sort of like auditory multi-tasking.

The boat home was a whole other story. We took the 11:00 which is the slightly toasted but not totally s–t faced boat (that’s the 1AM boat). We took a shuttle to the parking lot with a guy banging on a bongo and a sort of tipsy guy who commented a bit too loud and lot too blatantly about the size of the breasts of a girl leaving the shuttle. This prompted his date to start a round of a song she called “Your So Obnoxious” with half the shuttle joining in on the chorus.

Yep, a good time was had by all.

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March 27, 2011 · 5:43 pm

Bathers with Diarrhea?!


This is an actual sign. It does not come from one of those sign generator websites that say things like ‘Merry Christmas from an Atheist’. Adding to the outright hysterical nature of this, it was sent to me via text from my most self-described germaphobic friend.

Her original question was, “Would you go swimming in this pool? We are at a resort in Alabama.” Wanting to give full respect to the residents of that fine state I would just like to ask y’all… “WHAT THE HELL?” The next question from my horrified friend was, “What do you think the ‘etc’ is. My answer was, “Leprocy”

Um… duh!

Ok, so let’s review this one. How do we actually verify whether the bather in question has diarrhea? Do we follow every living soul into the bathroom and wait? Now those with skin diseases and lesions, although they would be quite easy to pick out in a crowd I am thinking A) sitting in the sun by the pool might not be on the top of the list of their activities and B) the chlorine would probably hurt like hell so they would most likely not be inclined to go for a dip.

Now the ‘etc.’ crowd? They are going to be REALLY hard to police.

I suppose they needed to cover all the bases. You know, because most upscale resorts have all sorts of problems with this sort of thing.

” Oh Alabama. The devil fools with the best laid plan”.

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Filed under absurdities, carry a camera, humor, signage, travel

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March 9, 2011 · 11:24 pm

Ultimate Kid Travel Meal

I admit it, I was incredibly indulgent with my kids when it came to food. If I had to do it again I would probably not have done that. (sorry kids)

It would appear this family took it to the next level. I snapped this pic on a flight (from hell) home from Florida.

Macaroni sandwich anyone?

Have to admit, this one was pretty creative.

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March 8, 2011 · 9:27 pm

Retirement Camp

We used to visit my kids at camp in the summer.

Now we visit my in-laws at camp in the winter.

I am happy to report they are having a wonderful time and we are pretty sure we won’t have to send any care packages… Publix is right down the road.

 

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March 7, 2011 · 10:33 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Coping

Air travel in the year 2011… it’s a crap shoot. Weather. Fees. Lack of customer service. Delays. It all makes leaving the basement a little bit harder, but worth it. And honestly, I do sort of live for the little bag of animal crackers.

It seems once things start to go wrong, they do so in a really big way. The more you bitch the worse it gets… the harder you pull the tighter it gets.

Like the man at the counter who asked the woman, “why did the later flight to LGA leave before us?” AND, he was nasty about it.

My answer? “Because it did.”

Really? I mean sir with the white hair and the white sweater at JetBlue gate 14  at PBI last night… did you really think that poor woman needed to be tortured by the likes of you?

Weather makes planes late. Period.

And when it does, it can do so with a vengeance. Here is my tale:

3 hour delay, 1 hour on runway, the worst turbulence – which is not an issue for me but others… yikes, circled JFK for 1 hour, (pilot talked of low fuel – why do they do that exactly?), diverted to Newark – oops no runway, circled some more, diverted to Dulles, circled some more (um about that low fuel comment?), turbulent landing (remind me why I am now in DC, again), hour and a half on ground IN hot cranky plane in DC, turbulent take-off, turbulent landing and finally landed at JFK around 2AM . Not bad for a 4PM flight from PBI. Oh and of course an hour for the bags to come out… on the wrong carousel.

And what did I learn? Basically, when it starts to go wrong you just have to roll with it. Coping makes it less unbearable – panic makes it worse and bitching just makes you… well, a bitch.

Yes, it is uncomfortable, yes it is an inconvenience, and for many it is traumatic.

And then its over.

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December 10, 2010 · 10:05 pm

4th Amendment Wear

This could be the most brilliant product of the decade. Designed by Tim Geoghegan and Matthew Ryan, these products show that bitching and moaning are not nearly as effective as making an intelligent statement.

A silent protest to the absurd lengths the TSA has taken security screening, this clothing proudly displays the 4th amendment. There are socks with it plainly written on top. Some funny kids’ stuff telling the ‘pervs’ to read the 4th amendment. But my favorites are these Ts and underwear printed in metallic ink that can be picked up by the scanners.

Peaceful protest.

Intelligent.

Non-threatening.

Makes the point without being disruptive.

File under ‘why did I not think of this’.

For those who are unfamiliar with the 4th Amendment:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Probable cause… indeed!

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November 14, 2010 · 8:51 am

Hoosier Daddy? – Big 10 Football

Ah, Big 10 football and a rainy morning in Madison, Wisconsin. The late morning kick-off is no reason not to pre-game when you are in college. And for the young woman on the left, the mid-40 degree weather and drizzling chill was no reason to wear sleeves either.

This apartment was a half a block from Randall Stadium and there were no shortages of cheers from the crowd as they passed them by. You have to love the spirit of college football; and the complete joy they get from being fans.

This was the last home game my daughter, the senior, will attend as a student and marked the end of the first season for my son, the freshman. With a final score of  83 to 20 this home season went out with a bang. (this is not the official last home game which takes place Thanksgiving weekend, but it is the last one for my kids). UW set a school record and tied a Big Ten record for points scored and scored more points than any other FBS team this season.

I must apologize to you all for not getting the best shot of the day, which was the two guys walking down the street in the freezing cold rain in nothing but sneakers and badger g-strings.

I know, I am slipping up, sorry.

 

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Filed under carry a camera, college, current events, danny, family, humor, Jana, sports, travel

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September 21, 2010 · 9:21 pm

If I was a biker chick…

… I would definitely wear this sweatshirt. I was so excited when I saw this. Not only did it sport the A2Z that I use in my email, but the flame graphic is almost identical to a really poorly rendered embroidery I did in high school.(yes I did embroidery in HS, that was back when I could friggin’ see well enough to thread a needle).

There I was at a rest stop with an eery sense of connection to this woman with the really poorly dyed hair and sort of scary doo-rag wearing boyfriend. That sweatshirt was so damn familiar I had to risk pissing off the bikers to take this shot.

Luckily, i did not.

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August 26, 2010 · 12:03 am

Business bad? Buy a plane ticket.

There is a strange phenomenon that surrounds my business. I get insanely busy right before I am flying somewhere. This week was no different. It seems anyone who has ever even considered giving me work decided to call this week. And of course they were all rush jobs. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to be busy. In fact, when things get slow I have thought about buying a plane ticket and consider it just the cost of doing business.

It always starts like this, “I have something I need. It’s easy.” Right off the bat, you should be scared when you hear that line. Let me translate, that means, ” It is really rush and I know you never say no and you will save my butt on this one and you know I really appreciate it.” Sometimes it also is a set-up for the, “I don’t have much of a budget” line. This week I got away without that one.

What I always say around midnight the day before I am flying out of here, ‘One woman’s time off is another woman’s hell.’ So a big thank you to Ivy for being the woman in hell this time. I hope today left you in decent shape. And if not, you know I am hopeless wired.

Off to move the boy into the dorms. If you hear about some insane NY mother in a Wisconsin Bed, Bath & Beyond being taken off in a straight jacket from big box store overload, muttering something about floor lamps or not taking shoe organizers seriously… that would be me.

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May 22, 2010 · 11:30 pm

Back in the USA

After 4 months and too many take offs and landings to count my girl is back in the US of A.

There is NOTHING like having everyone asleep in their own beds.

Welcome home Jana.

Believe it or not there is no better sight than this:

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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