Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

December 12, 2011 · 9:17 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Vision

Sure, I have vision. I am a designer, for G-d sake, vision is my business. But I am not talking about the capital V kind of Vision today, I am talking about eyesight.

This story starts over 26 years ago – half my life has passed since this tale began. In some Magnet for the Absurd – and in this case Unfortunate –twist of fate, I contracted Viral Keratoconjunctivits on none other than my honeymoon. Yeh, go ahead and make the ‘if you do IT to much you will go blind’ jokes all you want, but this is serious, kiddies. This bizarre eye infection left me with a scarred cornea.

Permanently.

I know, kind of sucks.

Don’t feel too bad for me though, because with both eyes open I don’t really notice it all that much. But I always worry that if anything happens to my right eye I might hope that good ole Iko can be trained as a guide dog.

Fast forward to this month when on the recommendation of my opthalmologist, I went to see a cornea specialist. After telling him my tale he asked me how long I had been married. ’26 years’, I told him. ’26 years!? And you are first coming to see me now?’, he asked. (wiseass). After explaining he is the 3rd guy to get a crack at this problem he went ahead and solved it like no one else was able to.

Basically, I am having a corrective gas permeable, or ‘hard’, lens made that with a fluid barrier is able to cut down on the light refraction that causes the blurred vision from the scarring and for the first time in 26 years I will have 20/20 vision in my left eye.

Have I mentioned this has been half my life?!

So, yeh, I did get a bit choked up in the chair when I realized this last week. Now more psychedelic topographic mapping tests and numbing drops later I have one week and then the custom lens will be ready to rock and roll.

I know, pretty cool, right?

Now if only I could remember where I put my glasses…

1 Comment

Filed under 50-something moms blog, health, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

November 28, 2011 · 10:19 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Joy of Puppies

Yeh, pretty corny post title. And yes, I have become that weird girl that posts pictures of puppies on her Facebook page. And I am damn proud of it.

For those who are not regular readers, I lost my best friend on earth almost 8 weeks ago. Mel, my Lab of almost 13 years, died suddenly and took me down. I literally cried for 3 weeks.

And then I stopped.

I realized, I am a dog person. As simple as that. I am not the type of person who can walk into their house and not have a four-legged heartbeat burst with joy at the site of me. Let’s face it, I am a canine-induced egomaniac. And I am not embarrassed to say that life without that unconditional love was simply too hard for me. This does not mean I am over the loss of Mel. Or that I could ever replace her. It is more a testament to what an amazing dog she was that I needed to have another right away.

So I would like to introduce you all to the next chapter in my dog-loving life:

Iko Iko Levinson.

For those who are music fans or hail from New Orleans, you will say things like, ‘Hey now’ or ‘cool’ or ‘which version, Dr. John or the Grateful Dead?‘ Or if you are a real music fan, ‘The Dixie Cups‘

If you are not a music fan, click this link to read about the song and it’s lore, and click the artists above to hear all the versions.

She has been home with us only a couple of days but we have already learned this one undeniable truth:

It is simply impossible to be sad in the presence of a puppy.

Period.

19 Comments

Filed under Iko, mel, pets, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , ,

November 21, 2011 · 9:54 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Horoscope and the Fortune Cookie

I always pride myself in keeping a sense of humor through acute times. It is my defense mechanism and it has served me well. But I also know that stress is cumulative. And sometimes it gets the better of you. (could this explain the hives that have started around my ankles and are making a journey up my body this past week?)

Last week during the great flood of 11.11, when my washing machine decided to regurgitate its contents all over the side of the basement that was NOT being renovated, I started to… well I started to lose my shit. Not only did my sense of humor start to wane, but I actually began to panic; something I try never to do.

While the wonderful team from ServPro was dragging out wet carpets and ruined moldings, I was dismantling my office to move upstairs. There on my desk I found a fortune that said, “Your sense of humor always serves you well.”

Talk about a sign.

Then this weekend someone’s Facebook status was the Virgo horoscope for the day:

Well, talk about wake up call #2.

So, my friends, for those of you who have ‘been a little confused’ I would like to say I am back! Being a drag is a drag. And just to prove it I will show you this photo I snapped while leaving Whole Foods today. Just asking, is that what they mean by ‘Beyond’?

Leave a comment

Filed under absurdities, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

November 15, 2011 · 11:25 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – This Old F’in House

Ok, so it’s almost Wednesday. Consider this the late edition of Time to Cry. Read on and you will understand why.

Some people find the sound of rushing water soothing. Unless, of course, said rushing occurs…

indoors!

For those who have not been following, I am in the midst of the never ending office renovation spawned by basement water during the hurricane. I have purged and cleaned to the point of delirium, having reached the final stages of hacking up large office furniture and waiting for the waterproofer for weeks on end.

Enter the great washing machine fail of 2011. Yes, folks, the washer that resides in a neat little laundry closet nestled on the other side of the wall from my desk (the living on the fault line analogy does not escape me at this moment), decided to crap out in a big way yesterday morning. And with its final act of FU upon me, it flooded the OTHER room in the basement that was housing the entire contents of my office.

Have you ever heard of those people that get an adrenaline rush and can lift cars? Well this was my save the files/supplies/artwork, books, whatever the hell else I could not part with version of that feat.

It was triage, I tell you. And I was failing at first. Things like panic set in. You know that emotion that never helps any situation. So there I was with wet feet, water spewing and panicking. Not pretty. After wetvaccing with the cap off, spewing the water back onto the floor while simultaneously trying to bail out the washing machine with a wonton soup container, I was fortunate enough to have my dear friend Karen show up and pretty much snap me back into prioritizing solutions. Karen has been voted the person I will call to help bury the body. I will forgive her for asking this ill-timed question when looking around the room, “THIS is what you classified as purging? You may still want to get rid of some of this stuff… Hoarder!)

A huge I can never, ever, EVER thank you enough as long as I live to Tony and his crew of the happiest, most competent men from ServPro of Great Neck/Port Washington who came in here and saved the day. Seriously, I hope you never need them, but if you ever have water, fire, mold… call these guys before you do anything else. They are the bomb. Tony sat calmly at my table, told me this was ‘really no big deal’, had me sign all the papers while telling me that he would be out by 5 (this was at 3). ‘Um, you and what army?’, I asked.

And then then the doorbell rang and in came the army.

His guys were gentle with my stuff, respectful of my OCD need to stay organized and neat to the point of sweeping, mopping and hauling off every bit of garbage and debris. They were a whirling dervish of organized chaos. I loved when ‘C’ came in and reminded his guys, “Safety first”.

All this done with genuine smiles! Man I love these guys.

Silver lining… now the office is empty and I can paint. Want to help pic colors?

2 Comments

Filed under homeowner, humor, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

November 8, 2011 · 6:19 am

Time To Cry Tuesday – You Don’t Want the Chicken

I live in a wonderful community, one where people come out of the woodwork to rise to the occasion and come to the aid of anyone in need. I have been on both sides of this practice and let me tell you, being the receiver of this kindness is a lot more difficult.

When a family is in a crisis of any kind – usually health or loss – our community springs into action and gets things done… in a big way. Dinners are sent in, carpools are covered, birthday gifts are wrapped and rides to parties and after school activities are covered. This army of giving jumps into action at a moment’s notice and no one bats an eye at getting the job done.

I have a friend who is currently in this place right now. We have the best job of all, we get to dog sit during the day while she goes to work. Talk about reciprocal giving! (for those who are not regular readers, we lost our dog a month ago and cannot get used to a dogless house). She and I were sitting in my kitchen yesterday talking about how overwhelming it is to receive such kindness. My first thought was about the chicken dinner on Friday nights. In the Jewish faith, a friday night – or Shabbat dinner, usually showcases a chicken. Jews feed for comfort and there is nothing more comforting than a roast chicken dinner.

As she voiced how difficult it is to take in all this kindness when you are a relatively private and self sufficient family, it came to me…

You don’t want to be the one that gets the chicken!

Giving the chicken is cool. Making the chicken is wonderful. Dropping off the chicken feels so good because there is so little you can do to help someone close to you who is suffering. But GETTING the chicken? Oy, that is the ultimate admission that you are in a time of need; a time of crisis.

I am thinking that the damn chicken might have been the thing that broke me in my darkest hours.

Anyone else get that?

But in all seriousness, there is never a day that goes by that I am not grateful for what this town has shown it can do for its own; and making it look so easy in the process. It is a very special place indeed.

FYI, this family has used a wonderful website called lotsahelpinghands to help manage their needs. I urge you to check this out, while I hope that you never need to use it. Their tagline is ‘Create Community’; in our case it is simply ‘Enhance Community’.

Leave a comment

Filed under communities, family, friendship, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , ,

November 1, 2011 · 7:22 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Halloween cupcakes

Yesterday I woke up at 4:30 and couldn’t sleep. I would like to say it was because I love halloween and I was so excited, but really folks, women of a certain age just don’t sleep all that regularly.

Usually I would lie in bed and just chill, but yesterday I decided to get up and bake the Funfetti Halloween cupcakes instead, because… well, because if I did not bake them then I would have to wait a whole year. (Funfetti is sort of a religion in these parts)

As I was making coffee and taking on this ridiculous task for no apparent reason, I realized that was the whole point. I was baking Halloween Funfetti cupcakes at 5AM… because I didn’t HAVE to. For so very many years – as a working mom – I found myself baking some ridiculous confection in the wee hours of the morning (the cowboy hat cupcakes at 2AM when Jana was in 4th grade come to mind. btw, these are cool, involving a cookie, an upside down cupcake and string licorice). But now, I was doing it because I wanted to, not to prove that I could do it all.

As I waited for the timer to go off, I sat drinking a cup of coffee while the sun came up and the household began to stir and got more than a little nostalgic about Halloween with younger kids. I have never been one to pine away for the past stages of parenting; but yesterday morning, in the quiet of my kitchen I could not help but remember the sweet chaos of those days. Did I fully appreciate them wile they were happening? I like to think so. But in reality I am sure they were tempered with the rushed obsession to make it all the perfect halloween for the kids and maybe I did not savor it as much as I should have.

I have this thing about the seasons; I wish we could have just one day of beautiful summer beach weather in the middle of the winter and one crisp snowy day in the middle of a heatwave in the summer. Just one day. That’s not asking too much. I feel the same way about parenting now. Yesterday morning, as I was sprinkling the ‘fetti’ on the top of those cupcakes, I wished for just one day with ‘Little Danny‘ and ‘Little Jana‘, as they like to refer to their childhood selves.

Even the year when the little guy insisted on being a cowboy and I stayed up all night making his costume for him to wake up on Halloween and tell me ‘I want to be a Ninja like Dougie’.

I suppose the imperfections of raising kids are what makes parenting so perfect.

(BTW, ‘Big Danny’, since I tortured your dad that we did not have enough candy, you and the boys will be the happy recipients of a big box of candy… watch the package room for it.)

1 Comment

Filed under danny, holidays, Jana, parenting, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , ,

October 24, 2011 · 10:04 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Cure of Friendship

It has been a rough 2 weeks. For those who do not read regularly, we lost our dog suddenly. It has been very hard on me and I felt as if the sadness would never lift. There has been a heaviness in my chest that felt permanent and it worried me.

Until this weekend. I was lucky enough to be included in a birthday celebration for a very special friend. (and the bonus was it was near my brother and sister-in-law, so we got to spend some wonderful time together beforehand)

Nine women traveled from near and far to join together and celebrate. We were all tied by our love of this woman and the many ways in which she is special to us. Nine woman – some of whom knew only one or two people there before we arrived – all left with eight new friends. All sorts of both interesting and ridiculously outrageous conversation ensued. Hours of laughter and lots of great food and wine helped to accelerate what became one of the most extraordinary evenings I have ever experienced.

Her husband and sons graciously got the hell out of there  slept out so we could have the house to ourselves. Our wonderful chef prepared tapas paired with incredible wine choices. He got quite an earful with the topics we discussed. In true James Bond form we should have killed him at the end of the evening.

Instead we all followed him on twitter and promised to tell all our followers how great his food was. (we can be that way)

On my long ride home I thought a lot about what made the evening such a success. How could nine otherwise unrelated women all come to an event like this at our age… and sleep over! I think the answer was clear – because our friend is just the type of person you would do that for. I arrived there knowing that the conversation would be both stimulating and outrageous. That the topics would range from raising kids, teens, young adults to dealing with aging parents; career paths, art, music, life choices, of course social media and yes dying dogs. No topic was taboo yet every one of them was met with tolerance, empathy and a big dose of not taking ourselves all that seriously. Each one of us brought to the table their varied experiences and the humor to get through just about anything.

And most of us have.

A huge thank you to my dear friend’s sister-in-law and husband who made this happen. I feel truly honored to have been a part of this and grateful for the new friendships made.

Oh yeh, and thanks for the biggest jam-master hangover I have had in a long time… it was surely worth it.

1 Comment

Filed under friendship, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , ,

October 17, 2011 · 11:26 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Brilliance

There is nothing better than someone who remains passionate and true to their craft, even after many years of practicing it. I am fortunate (and proud) to still have friends from art school who have kept it fresh. One such person is my dear friend Scott.

We have reconnected recently and I love to follow his posts, seeing his new projects and looking at the world through his eyes that have never lost the wonder and sense of joy that each new project brings.

I am so very proud of his latest accomplishment and wanted to share. Scott entered the Architectural Record/AIA Napkin Sketch competition with this enchanting submission above. The requirement stated that the sketch must be on a 5×5 napkin… and as Scott stated, ‘No one said it had to be flat’.

Hence, they had to make a new category for his submission and gave him an award. You can read about it here.

A huge thank you to Scott for continuing to always see the world through those ever questioning eyes, for never feeling the boundaries and for taking every project that one step further.

And of course, for NEVER coloring in the lines.

Congrats, my friend.

2 Comments

Filed under art, design, friendship, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , ,

October 11, 2011 · 1:19 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – A Dog’s Purpose

And she said losing love 

Is like a window in your heart.

Everybody sees you’re blown apart.

Everybody hears the wind blow.

– Paul Simon, Graceland

Mel, the wonder dog, my walking companion, the canine comedian, sadly died on Friday. It was sudden and shocking. Even though she was a 12 year old Lab with some health issues, she still behaved youthful. We had saved her from the brink of death twice already, so this one was unexpected. And fast. Too fast.

Part of loving a dog is losing a dog, and I found that out the hard way this weekend. But I also found out how incredible people can be. How they reach out with kind words and even lend you one of their dogs for the first walk after yours is gone. How they lay on the floor with her and say good-bye and text you tirelessly to make sure you are ok even when they know you are not. How they tolerate the tears that feel like they will never end and never say ‘she was just a dog.’

Strange and wonderful things happen even in the worst of situations. There are simply no coincidences in life. You just need to pay attention and it is all clear.

Mel was named after the ice cream man. The kids loved him (who doesn’t love the ice cream man). Late Friday afternoon I was picking up dinner and when I got to my car there was a long line of cars waiting for the light to change. There, next to where I was parked, was Mel the Ice Cream Man. 

On Main Street.

In October!! WTH!

There are no coincidences.

Last week I read A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron. This charming tale is written from the point of view of a dog who keeps dying and is reincarnated until he finds his purpose. Each life had a purpose of  its own. Yes, we personify our pets, but I truly believe they get IT (note the caps). And I thank Mr. Cameron for the point of view that helped me through one of the hardest decisions of my life – to let her go before she started to suffer. I finished the book a couple of days before Mel died.

There are no coincidences.

Mel was my other half, my walking buddy, the one who soothed me when I was at my saddest. She was a good sport about my habit of taking pictures and would pose patiently whenever called upon. As I have said before, she acted like each ride in the car was a trip to the Caribbean. She was full of joy and never complained. The Schmoop, as she was affectionately called, was larger than life and a huge part of our family. We will miss her terribly.

If you have a dog, go grab the leash and take her for a walk. Throw a ball. Enjoy every joyous moment of her unconditional love. Get over the chewed shoe or the the tumbleweeds of fur she sheds and give her a big hug on Mel.

Oh, and a huge thank you to the Vets and the entire staff at The Port Washington Animal Hospital who not only saved her so many times, but treated her, and us, with the greatest compassion and dignity. We will forever be grateful for your love of animals.

7 Comments

Filed under friendship, mel, pets, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

October 3, 2011 · 10:55 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Buckaroo

I am not one of those moms that pines away for the days when their children were little. Don’t get me wrong, I loved raising my kids. And though sentimental by nature, I am not one of those ‘oh-where-have-my-babies-gone’ types. Each stage had its joys and its challenges and I loved them all. Some were more trying than others, but as a package, motherhood has been a great gig.

But every once in awhile something hits me. I am innocently cleaning the closet in my office (yes, I am still on the office project) and buried in the pile of quilting fabrics (yes, I was a quilter) was this tiny pair of cowboy motif pajamas.

Not just any pajamas, but the ones that had to be washed constantly so that my son could sleep in them yet again. They are threadbare and soft as can be, with faint stains of what is probably maple syrup from the 1,000 waffles he ate at that age. Just the sight of them gave me that tight feeling in my chest that I get when a piece of my past comes crashing into me.

Perhaps when he wore these is when we started calling him Buckaroo. We don’t use that name often, but when we do he tolerates it probably for the same reason we say it; it brings us back to little boy time we both loved.

I took this shot and texted it to my now 19-year-old son with the caption ‘Bucka-f’ing-roo’.

Sometimes you have to know your audience and tailor your message. Know what I mean?

5 Comments

Filed under moms, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,