Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

March 5, 2012 · 8:53 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Separation of Church and State

Is this bothering anyone else? All this concentration on religion in government? Not because I am a Jew, for I don’t believe my Synagogue has any place in politics either. Or because I am a Democrat, because quite frankly I am none to comfortable with our President speaking about his faith or those who doubt it. It is completely irrelevant to running a government. Period.

Hey, land of the free and brave… Wassup?

The absolutely most horrifying comments of the week come right off the front page of the NYT Sunday paper:

Rick Santorum warned of the “dangers of contraceptives” and rejected JFK’s call for strict separation of church and state. He went so far as to tell George Stephanopoulus that Kennedy’s ideas are so terrible that they make him want to throw up. (lovely)

On the first point, let’s do one of those pros and cons lists for contraceptives and show me exactly how the dangers of using them compare to all those unwanted pregnancies. I get if you choose not to use contraceptives due to your religious leanings, I expect the same respect in return. Lose the fear mongering on dangers.

On point two… seriously? Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t believe that he gets to reject the concept. Since we, as Americans, have been kicking the idea of separation of church and state since around SINCE 18-friggin-02, why is this up for discussion now?

For those that might want a refresher on JFK’s speech in question from 1960:

I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute — where no Catholic prelate would tell the President (should he be a Catholic) how to act and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote. … I believe in an America that is officially neither Catholic, Protestant nor Jewish … where no religious body seeks to impose its will directly or indirectly upon the general populace or the public acts of its officials — and where religious liberty is so indivisible that an act against one church is treated as an act against all.

Yeh, I can see why he found that offensive, can’t you?!

Plainly put. YOUR religion, is YOUR religion. Not mine. Not my neighbors. Not the Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist… Atheist for that matter.

Ok, admit you are glad I did not get started on that slut Rush Limbaugh…

14 Comments

Filed under politics, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , ,

February 27, 2012 · 9:49 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – My Spot (one year later)

Last year on February 22nd, I wrote this post. If you are not inclined to go back and read it, the short version is that there is a spot in my house that is my perfect place. I am sure many of you have one just like it. The place you go to read, to rest, for comfort, to chill. YOUR spot. Sometimes it comes with a cup of tea and others it needs a glass of wine. And when things get really hectic, a vodka on the rocks goes perfectly.

Needless to say I have clocked many an hour there. What always made that spot one step more special was having my dog at my feet. For those who don’t know, I lost my dog Mel at 12.5 this past October. I was completely devastated and lost without her. Thinking I would never be able to do it all over again with a puppy at this stage of my life I soon proved myself wrong.

We were lucky enough for the stars to be aligned and not long after we lost her, Iko came into our lives.

And wouldn’t you know it, that puppy just KNEW where  she needed to hang.

She is freakishly Mel-like in this shot, but oh so welcome. I am sure the essence of Mel lured her there. This is not the only spot of Mel’s that she has taken as her own.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my old girl. Somehow this makes it both much harder and infinitely easier.

7 Comments

Filed under animals, Iko, mel, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

February 23, 2012 · 9:43 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Blue Note

Note: This never made it up on Tuesday, so forgive me if you cry on Friday instead. As a consolation I permit you to start drinking early.

Monday night we had the privilege to celebrate Dr. Jimmy’s birthday at The Blue Note to see Monty Alexander (highly recommended). For those who are not familiar, this is the historic jazz club in the Village in NYC. Seeing a show there is a comfort;  the place has hardly changed and every time you walk through those doors you get the feeling that you are part of the real New York.

I arrived a little late and when I got there our table of 11 was mostly full. There were a couple of open seats at the end and a table next to us with a reserved sign on it. “Look at whose names are on that sign”, said Dr. Jimmy.

And there they were. As if every day I get to sit RIGHT NEXT TO one of my favorite recording artists and his wildly talented wife. Yes, my friends. Krall and Costello meant Diana Krall and Elvis Costello. AT THE NEXT TABLE. And if you have ever been to the Bluenote you would know how these tables are right on top of one another.

So, a little while later, in walked Elvis and Diana and sat RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Being the very cool and respectful NYers that we are we refrained from bothering them. Which by omission made us so not cool because we were deliberately ignoring them. I can’t tell if they were relieved or thought us rude and stuck up.

I posted this sign on Facebook and impressed all my friends. I am still wondering if Elvis did the same.

Since I am still uncomfortable with having not having acknowledged them at all, I would like to say here that sitting next to Elvis Costello goes up there with one of my greatest thrills. My first concert with Gary was Elvis Costello at the Eastman Theatre in Rochester when I was a freshman in college. It was raw and exciting and the beginning of what would become the sound I grew to love.

So, Elvis, if your social media monitoring picks this up I would like to say the next time we sit next to each other at a show it would be my honor to buy you and Diana a drink.

4 Comments

Filed under dr. jimmy, music, New York City, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

February 14, 2012 · 12:21 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Love Ever After

I saw this post on Kickstarter today and it made me cry… because you know, it’s Tuesday. AND Valentine’s Day. Double hit.

A book by Lauren Fleishman, Love Ever After will share the love stories of couples who have been married for at least 50 years. Inspired by a letter her grandfather wrote to hergrandmother during World War II (and rediscovered after he passed away in 2007), she began photographing and interviewing couples in the New York area as a way to preserve their stories and to illuminate our universal experience of love.

After just spending a few days in Florida visiting my parents who have been married OVER 60 YEARS, I do believe in love ever after. Listening to them talk about the way they feel about each other after all these years is the main reason I remain a hopeless romantic. (Yeh, this shot is a killer, right?) I can only hope that Gary will refrain from running me over with his car for the next 34 years so we can hit that milestone.

 

3 Comments

Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , ,

January 31, 2012 · 1:00 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – I Am Jewish

I struggled with whether to post this here, and whether to use its title. Not for any other reason than I believe that there are certain topics that are personal. Ones that are sacred and are not about link love, blog traffic or public discussion. I have always held to the idea that religion is either something you are born into or you choose. And sometimes it is something that you consciously choose to abandon. I do not think it is something that should be pushed on others, used to breed hatred or a vehicle to define someone. Sadly all three are the root of some of the most horrifying chapters in history.

All that said, this public declaration of what it means to this young man to ‘be a Jew’ moved me to tears. Even more so as he is someone that my kids know from camp. I have written about this camp here before, many times, and its effect on our children and ourselves. The core of this place is its pride, the sense of belonging, of being part of a tribe.

See where I am going with this? In this crazy world of ever-changing social rules with its constant shifting of how we live our daily lives and relate to one another, there is something so important about that sense of belonging. It breeds the most important thing of all – a sense of self. It is easier to thrive with the continuity of something that you can count on; something that makes you feel ‘at home’.

I relate to the words of this young man. I am not a religious Jew, Judaism is simply part of the fabric of who I am. I do not live a ghettoized life – hey some of my best friends are Goyim (ok you had to be a Jew or around them to get that joke, and yes it is counter to everything I am saying here. Hey, I am a wiseass, what can I say). To a highly religious Jew I might not be considered Jewish. And yet it matters not.

This video is the embodiment of a young suburban Jewish man who has fallen victim to every stereotype and yet is still able to articulate his Jewishness. He is considered hip and current yet the content of his message would hold true even when my dad was his age.

He does not preach. He does not try to convert. He does not ask you to validate his Judaism or to argue its validity.

It is simply a declaration.

I am pretty sure this would translate to any culture or religion, and I am equally sure that the parodies of this video will be abundant in the weeks to come because… well, because that is what social media breeds. However, I do not think that any of that will dilute its message.

Enjoy, and feel free to comment.

3 Comments

Filed under communities, religion, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

January 23, 2012 · 10:44 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Dog Walkin’

Balance has been restored. After months of walking sans canine, I am happy to report that the puppy had her last shots on Saturday, making her walk-worthy. I am not sure I can express this feeling of getting on with my life. For so many months my daily living was turned upside down. Floods, office renovations and the loss of my first dog took their toll on me in ways I did not fully realize until today –when the last piece of my routine was restored.

It was pretty emotional to walk with this new pup. It was hard to think about how many times I walked that route with Mel. How much a part of my life, and the neighborhood, she was. Today, as I walked down the street a man got out of his car to greet Iko. A friend emailed to say she had seen me walking a puppy. One of Gary’s tennis friends told him he saw us walking and how happy he was for us to have a dog again.

Funny, you go through your day and never realize the impact you have on others. There was a Mel-sized hole, not just in our home, but in the neighborhood. Those are some pretty big paws for Iko to fill, but I think she will do her best to rise to the occasion.

Yes, I know this photo should be titled ‘Giant woman walks minuscule dog’. There is something about the angle of this shot that looks something like a B horror movie, but I sort of like it. Especially because Iko is anything but minuscule. Weighing in at 31 lbs at 4 months we are anticipating that the trainer was our best investment. Nothing worse than an 80lb dog dive bombing you from across the room or dragging you down the block.

As the mail carrier said to me when she met Iko the other day, “What a wonderful testament to how great a dog Mel was that you were able to get another so soon.”

To my old girl Mel, there will never be another you and we will miss you forever. But I am pretty sure that you would rather look down on me walking with a puppy than being alone. You were just that kind of dog.

4 Comments

Filed under animals, Iko, mel, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , ,

January 9, 2012 · 10:23 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sobering

I am not sure if it is really necessary to say anything else, but I feel like this needs a small amount of thought provoking commentary.

I saw this when I left the supermarket the other day. I was rushing, as usual, putting the groceries in my car and I just stopped and stared …

because I was supposed to.

I felt the need to silently pay my respects to the husband who lost his life and the wife who was brave enough to do something about the tragedy that befell her family.

This ‘statistic’ was now a person. She could have been any one of the women that I had just shopped alongside in the aisles of that market. She goes about her day and does what needs to be done, but there for all to see she makes here daily statement. And maybe, just maybe, someone who sees this car just might think twice the next time they think ‘they are fine to drive’.

When you think about it, most drunk drivers are not doing so intentionally. How many people get behind the wheel of a car after drinking that think they are just fine/only a few miles from home/not a ‘drunk driver’? Many of them are regular people who are simply guilty of bad judgement.

Until someone dies. And then everything changes for everyone.

All I ask is that the next time you think you are ‘fine to drive’, think about this woman.

And call a cab.

 

2 Comments

Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , ,

January 3, 2012 · 5:18 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – #silverribbons

Today I would like to bring to you a post from a woman who I consider to be one of the funniest people in the blogosphere. I have followed her forever and her outrageous writing is both entertaining and so relatable. Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess (damn, I have always been jealous of that name), took a step last night towards bringing attention to an issue very close to my heart and put herself out there to help lift the stigma.

Depression. Yeh, even the funny girl can suffer. Till now, it has been privately. But now she is taking it to the internet and maybe, just maybe, this campaign will show us how many of us are touched by this illness. If not ourselves, but people we love. And they are not alone.

Mental illness. Even reading those words causes some to shudder and run for cover. No matter how evolved we think we have become as a society, no matter how many anti-depressants and anti-anxieties are doled out like candy. No matter how many commercials – some touching, some ridiculous (a certain wind up doll comes to mind), it never ceases to amaze me how people will still speak in hushed tones about depression as if it were the plague. As if the mere mention of the word will open you up for susceptibility.

When you suffer from a physical illness, you are considered brave. When you fight a mental illness many consider you weak.

Wrong… you are the strongest, bravest fighter of them all.

Here is an excerpt from her post. You can read the whole thing here. Twitter has exploded with the hashtag #silverribbons. This is proof that so many fight this fight alone. Maybe Jenny can change that. And we can help her.

I self-harm.  I don’t do it all the time and it’s not enough to put me into an institution or threaten my well-being, but it’s enough to make it frightening to live in my body sometimes.  I’m far from suicidal.  I do it to self-sooth, because the physical pain distracts me from the mental pain.  It’s one of those things that’s impossible to explain to people who don’t understand impulse control disorder.  Honestly, I find it hard to understand it to myself and I’m working my ass off to fix it now before my daughter is old enough to see the things I don’t want her to see.  It is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I am safe.  My disorder is fairly mild and is becoming more controlled.  I’m in therapy and I’m not in danger.  I avoid triggers and I’ve found therapies and drugs that are helping.  I’m getting better.  But I sort of feel like I can’t completely heal from this without being honest about it.  So here it is.  Judge me or not, I am the same person I was before.  And so are you.  And chances are that many of your friends, family and coworkers are dealing with things like this.  Things that are killing them a little inside.  Things that kill people who don’t get help.  Silent, bloody battles that end with secret victors who can’t celebrate without shame.  I hope that this post changes this somehow.  I hope that you feel safe enough to be honest about the things you are the most ashamed of.  I hope you have someone there telling you “It’s okay.  You’re still the same person to me.”

I hope  one day I see a sea of people all wearing silver ribbons as a sign that they understand the secret battle and that they celebrate the victories made each day as we individually pull ourselves up out of our foxholes to see our scars heal, and to remember what the sun looks like.

I hope one day to be better and I’m pretty sure I will be.  I hope one day I live in a world where the personal fight for mental stability is viewed with pride and public cheers instead of shame.  I hope it for you too.

But until then, it starts slowly.

To Jenny… the bravest one of all. May your dream come true, and may we all help you realize them.

2 Comments

Filed under mental illness, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

December 26, 2011 · 11:25 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – 1,000th Post

1,000. This is my 1,000th post. That’s just crazy. I don’t believe there are many things I could point to in my life that I can say I have done 1,000 of. I love that this falls right before the new year; what a perfect time to be reflective.

Perhaps as a mom, 1,000 sleepless hours from infancy through young adulthood. Or maybe as a graphic designer, 1,000 corrections made to jobs that were once titled ‘final’. Or maybe the amount of times Gary told me I better write my 1,000th post about him (does this count?)

Reaching this milestone makes me look back at how blogging has changed my life. It has helped me learn the social media space from the inside out. It has helped me to always make sure I see the humor in every day (except Tuesday) and share it. It has enhanced my delight with witnessing amusing things in daily life and making sure to photograph as many as possible.

But most of all it is the people I have met, and the ones that I already knew who keep reading, sending me their stories and absurdity alerts that make me realize what a fortunate time we live in; where one sarcastic, sort of off beat, magnet for the absurd woman can connect with like-minded people and feel as if she has come home.

Thank you all for reading. Here’s to the next 1,000.

6 Comments

Filed under absurdities, blogging, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , ,

December 20, 2011 · 12:30 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Be Here Now

I might have written about this before, but you can never hear it too much. This time of year it is especially hard to stay in the moment. We are rushing from celebration to celebration, work is piling up, everyone is trying to pass things off to the next desk (tag you’re it) and we become generally hassled trying to ‘enjoy the season’.

Ridiculous.

In my real life I wear many hats. (actually, I rarely wear hats, I have a freakishly small head) One of my jobs is blog editor for a brand blog. It is one of the projects I am most proud of. I have 5 fabulous women writing for us each week on varied topics. Yesterday’s blog was written by Kim Ross, who also blogs at A Little Bit of the This and That. Kim is an amazing mom who has been able to strike a balance in her life and I feel honored to work with her. Today she wrote this post about enjoying the holidays. Go ahead and read it, I will wait.

Sweet right?

I had just finished reading her post when I came upstairs and found Jana with Iko on her lap. She said, “don’t you wish she could stay this little longer?” As she said that I could not help but remember feeling the same way about her when she was a baby. Seems like yesterday and 100 years ago at the same time.

I told her this,”Remember this feeling. Look at that puppy and never forget this moment of savoring her puppyhood. Look back on what this feels like with the puppy when you have a baby. Don’t rush its life away longing for all the things you can’t wait for it to do; smile, sit up, hold its bottle, crawl, walk. It all happens so fast and then all of the sudden you have a toddler and your baby is gone.”

The whole idea is to enjoy it all.

From my house to all of yours, I wish you a very happy holiday and the ability to sit back and savor the moments. Every one of them.

 

5 Comments

Filed under family, holidays, Iko, Jana, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Tagged as , , , , ,