Category Archives: moms

February 3, 2009 · 12:26 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sunrise, Sunset

sunrise_sunset

The title of this post is for my brother. This is how I will be able to tell if he is reading. What, it’s not all about me and my blog?

When we were growing up my mom had a friend with a beautiful singing voice. At every Bar or Bat Mitzvah she would get up and sing Sunrise, Sunset with the band. As you would expect, all of us kids would roll our eyes, giggle a little, suffer glares and shushes from our parents and fidget our way through to the end of the song.

Years later, at my brother’s wedding, she got up and sang it again. As young adults the eye rolling was replaced with a wink, we had long since learned to stop fidgeting and our parents were way too busy full out weeping to worry about the likes of us.

Fast forward a quarter of a century. (this, too, is for my brother – everyone loves to think of themselves as being married for any fraction of a century, right?)

This past weekend I attended the Bar Mitzvah of a friend’s child. But this was not just ANY Bar Mitzvah. This, my friends, was the celebration of the last of the First Thursday children coming of age. The First Thursday group has existed since the month he was born, he is our measure for the length of our friendship and as you can imagine, he is our little mascot of sorts because of it. (surely every 13 year old boy would love to be referred to this way.)

Yes, number 18 has now become a man. Funny, but he still looked so young to me. Until the video montage looped its way into my line of sight and I saw all those kids frozen in time as they were when they were small.

Then I looked back on the dance floor and caught a glimpse of my sweet *J* (not Jana, this is my other J) in that beautiful blue satin dress the color of her eyes, of *N* and *K* in those drop dead sequin numbers with the high heels that would surely cripple the likes of me. And *V* dancing up a storm as if the whole damn world was her living room and she had it by the balls.

That’s when it friggin’ hit me. Like a ton of corny, OMG-I-have-surely-become-my-mother bricks…

I could have been singing the lyrics to Sunrise Sunset in my head.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 1, 2009 · 1:40 am

2-4-6-8 lady you have too much on your plate

babies-on-a-plateCheck out my post at 50-something mom blogs about the California octuplets.

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January 14, 2009 · 11:32 pm

15 years ago I was really nuts!

jana4thinvitepdf2You think I am crazy now, you should have known me when my kids were little.

For those who did, you might remember this invitation to Jana’s 4th birthday party. For those who didn’t, this invitation was hand-drawn to match the fabric of the dress she wore to the party. But no, I did not stop there, the cake was also decorated with the same art. Nope, not one of those Carvel photo cakes. Yes that was me at 3 in the morning decorating the cake.

What would I have done if she spilled something on that dress before the party?

What a psycho! I suppose this was all part of my working mom, over-compensation, do it all, be everything to everyone, I am as good as any stay at home mom if it kills me sort of thing. Before all these terms existed I was a DIY (Do It Yourself), WAHM (Work At Home Mom), who always felt a little inadequate with the SAHMs (Stay At Home Moms) and had to prove I was worthy. Now I just want to be a MILF (sorry, no translations if you don’t know what that one is. And not really but it was a funny way to end this paragraph).

The day before the party I had lunch with a client who had become a dear friend. When she asked why I was so exhausted I told her of all the party preparations. That is when she reached across the table, put her hand on mine and said, “Hon, it’s time to stop the nonsense, order the damn Carvel cake and call it a day!” Her thought was that this surely meant more to me than the 4-year-old and in the long run this would not be the stuff she would remember.

Fast forward 15 years, Jana and I just talked about this and laughed the other day. Then today she decided to organize one of my many piles of pictures and momentos in my office. And what fell out of the pile onto the desk…

you guessed it, the invite art!

And you know what? We BOTH remembered it. I can laugh at how important this stuff was to me back then, but I am sure I would not change it if I could do it all over.

Once a psycho, always a psycho!

Now where are those magic markers…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 13, 2009 · 12:02 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – I don’t know and you don’t know

fire-in-the-sky_sm1

There are times in our lives when we are profoundly touched by another person even though we have never met them. Sadly, sometimes they are already gone and we have lost the opportunity.

I have a friend in my community who I am very fond of. We do not know each other all that well but have been friends for a long time and our husbands are btff (best tennis friends forever). She and her family emanate an infectious warmth and hospitality. Being in their home one feels instantly comfortable and engaged. Their circle of friends is equally embracing. We always leave their house feeling as if we have had a full experience. Does that make sense? I hope so.

This past weekend we attended a memorial service for her mom who passed away suddenly last month. This particular congregation has a beautiful custom of creating a booklet of readings for its life cycle events. Friends and family members read from this booklet and helped paint a picture of this vibrant woman.

During the service my friend spoke about the mom she had lost. Theirs was a tender relationship, one that every mother and daughter hopes to have. Her loss was very painful to witness, yet being there I felt the greatest honor she could give her mother was to share who she was with those who did not know her.

She told a story about going back to her mom’s home to sort through the pieces of her life. The most precious things she found were two post-it notes. Her mom had a habit of scribbling down thoughts and sticking them around her home. (a woman after my own heart as I have a bulletin board filled with such things over my desk). One of the notes said it all for me:

You don’t know and I don’t know.

How perfect is that? Pretty much says it all. We can worry and ruminate. We can plan and organize. We can strive and learn and try to control it all. But in the end, you don’t know and I don’t know.

I am sorry I never had the pleasure to meet this fine woman, but in some ways I suppose I have.

To my dear friend, may your grief be tempered with the knowledge that you were loved fully by a mother who adored you. And may your wonderful boys, or shall I say young men, give you the strength and support you need during this terribly sad time.

And may I say, it was an honor to ‘know’ your mom.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 6, 2009 · 12:01 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Family Time

‘Yes Mother!’

That is the response I always get from my son when I ask him a sentimental question. I can even hear his tone in a text message. It is half goofing on me half , “yes, I get it and I do know how important it is to you.”

With my daughter home for a few weeks we are all together again for a short while. It is not that we need to be doing anything special. Simply all together is what I crave. Four at the dinner table instead of three. Oops, sorry that would be five, the dog is always under the table.

Last night we ended the long holiday week with a movie night. We all went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Usually I would be less inclined to see a movie of that length on a Sunday night, but the idea of all four of us lined up in those seats together made it very appealing. The film turned out to be engaging and wonderful, but the fact that we all watched it together brought it to another level.

There was a scene at a first birthday party where one of the guests commented that the babies would all be in high school before they turned around. I looked up at Danny with ‘that face’ and he just started laughing. But I know he gets it.

And to tell you the truth, I don’t believe it is just me. I really do believe the kids find the family time special too. Perhaps it is because the moments are so fleeting. Or maybe it is simply because we truly enjoy each other’s company.

And no, I did not pay them to hang out with us!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 3, 2009 · 7:37 pm

Childbirth Orgasms and Reborn Dolls

ooo-ooo-baby

Wow 20/20, I guess you felt the need to get those ratings up on a Friday night! Not unlike my desire to beef up my stats with this post title.

For those who missed this show you can catch it on the link above. Let’s start with the childbirth orgasms. There is actually a video called Orgasmic Birth. Call me crazy but sharing my childbirth on national TV would have been enough ot an invasion of privacy, but this? What do these people do for a living?  This is kind of one step beyond Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer if you ask me. Oh right, they want to ‘share’ with us so those who were stupid enough to be in excruciating pain so we can wake up and feel the orgasm.

Now I am really pissed, I spent all that time in those stupid Lamaze classes and I could have been learning how to give birth this way instead of having back labor. Gee, I feel so foolish.

Twitter was in an uproar while this was on last night. Funny, we never heard of this before and now there is a documentary and all these people telling us it is not uncommon.

Here is a quote from an Oby/Gyn friend, “I realize that everyone experiences things differently – where do you think S and M came from?? But if some women start to think of childbirth as feeling great I know there will be women demanding epidurals before sex!!!”

I know what you are all thinking, ‘she is just jealous’. You bet your ass I am! Then again, raising teenagers makes childbirth look like… well not an orgasm.

Next up, one of my faves. Reborn dolls. I will link you to the post I wrote on this one back in October. I had some pretty wacky comments there and a few emails that made my family urge me to shut down the blog from the weirdos, but hey, I am tough. In short, these are lifelike baby dolls that women tote around and ‘care for’ as if they were real. Yeesh, cuh-ree-py.

So 20/20 what’s on deck for next week? The Joy of Circumcision?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 27, 2008 · 11:39 pm

Maybe she was just hungry

hunger

I ran out to the market tonight to pick up a few things at an odd hour, 5:00 on a Saturday. And there she was, this magnificent mom with two equally beautiful children. They were all really breathtaking. She looked oddly familiar in a movie star sort of way but I doubt it. Just another well-healed North Shore Long Island women over-dressed for the supermarket.

But here’s the thing, she was a total bitch to her kids. Believe me, I have seen kids misbehave in a supermarket, sometimes even those of my loins. These two kids were not acting out, maybe being a little ‘overly helpful’ but certainly not worthy of reprimand. But the skinny bitch pretty mom? She did not have a shred of patience for them. To the point were she sent the little boy out to the parking lot to wait for them. (nice judgement, no?)

So here is what I am thinking:

Maybe she was just hungry.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 11, 2008 · 11:59 pm

The Dog, The Smoke Alarm and The Rock of Gibraltar

mel_stairs

Let me start this off by saying that every year when we change the clocks I pass by the fire station sign that reminds me to change my smoke alarm batteries and feel very guilty that, once again, the one in my kitchen is no longer functioning. I make the effort to rectify the problem and buy the ‘less sensitive’ kind, hang it back up and all goes well.

For a few weeks.

It is inevitable that I will ‘cook’ something and forget it is on the stove. You know what happens, you put up the broccoli to steam, go down to check an email or two and before you know it the damn pot is black and there is a ‘light’ fog of smoke in the kitchen. Then off goes the damn smoke alarm.

This morning it was chocolate chip pancakes. Yes, I am a the model mom and I do make my son chocolate chip pancakes every morning. The day started fine. I got up early, remembered that I needed rolls, went to the bank and bagel store, even got a nice hot cop of joe. It was all under control.

Sort of.

Somehow I lost the rhythm of the morning and the next thing I knew I was burning the pancakes and off went that friggin’ smoke alarm. Less sensitive my ass! Now all of this would not be such big deal if my poor sweet dog did not have a severe neurological reaction to the sound of the smoke alarm. (You remember, the dog that the UPS man found in the street and put in the yard) I mean this poor pooch starts to shake uncontrollably at the sound of this thing. Perhaps she could use some meds.

Here I am with a broom trying to shut the smoke alarm, the dog is shaking, Danny mentions it might not be a bad idea to shut the stove since the griddle is now smoking, Gary suggests opening a window, maybe a door and then he said it. The dreaded statement that has come up too often lately. The one that proves I have lost my ability to do it all:

“You know, you used to have it all together. Now it is like the Rock of Gibraltar is cracking again”

I HATE that line. Mostly because he is right.

The dog? Don’t worry, by 11:00 she was fine.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 29, 2008 · 9:33 pm

The upside of laundry

laundryLaundry. Never been a big fan. No matter how often you do it the pile keeps growing. Quite frankly I was never one of those moms that got off on the smell of the clean clothes. Or the neat piles when you put them away – maybe because those are non-existent in my house. 

But the upside of laundry in my house means it is a full one. My daughter (the jam master laundry maker) is home; filling a hamper in just a few days. Scary, but I love to see her clothes in the laundry. It is evidence that she is present. And there are a bunch of sheets on a half dozen aero beds tonight for the slew of boys who will roll in after midnight from a concert in the city. With any luck an equal amount of towels in the morning if they actually shower, but with 16-year-old boys that is always a crap shoot. 

A full house. I LOVE a full house. The laundry, not so much. But it is a small price to pay to have them here. A few years back it seemed like a nuisance. Now? I love nothing more.

So, all you moms who think that one more rinse cycle will put you over the edge, just remember, no laundry means they are not around. I have told many a mom who complains about their house being messy that a clean house is an empty one. 

Don’t get me wrong, it is not as if I have no life without the kids – there is always Twitter for G-d sakes – but there is something about having parented for almost 20 years that makes me really appreciate a heavy dose of it now and then.

Now if I could only teach the dog to fold…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 16, 2008 · 9:12 pm

Moms Say No Mo(trin) & International Baby Wearing Week

nomotrin

Oh boy, is someone’s marketing ass on the line first thing tomorrow AM! Or maybe not… read on.

It will surely be interesting to see how this one pans out once it hits mainstream media. Please don’t misconstrue this as a post showing my distaste for Motrin. This is more a fascinating case study to me than wishing any ill will to the brand. I have already heard the term ‘motrined’ used as a description for what happened.

For my non-Twittering readers, this will make your head spin around like Linda Blair and ask, ‘is there this huge underworld of information that I don’t know about going on behind my back?’

Um! Well yes, as a matter of fact there is. Wake up people.

If you are not a product manager or marketing/advertising/PR person then this is probably nothing you need to worry about. Unless of course all your friends are twittering behind your back which is unlikely but maybe you ought to sign up and check just in case.

I posted about Twitter during the election. For those who are tweeters, go get a cup of coffee while i give a quick primer here. Twitter is like instant messaging with the world where you ‘follow’ someone the same way you would ‘friend’ them on Facebook. You can also search topics and follow what others are saying about things that interest you. The most tweeted about things rise to the top of the topic trend. If you market a brand you should surely be monitoring Twitter, if not finding ways to use it constructively.  If you want more info go here. (I am pretty sure my mom just had to go lie down from this, sorry mom ; )

Now, on with the story. Once upon a time, Motrin created an ad with the intent to reach young moms.  This generation of moms is the most target marketed group in history. They are empowered. They use Twitter. They blog. They write reviews. They drive sales. They are honest, loyal consumers who love to share and hopefully their spirit of community will build brand loyalty.

Unless of course you create an ad that is perceived as condescending and insulting to them. Then they will basically cut your balls off. You can see the ad on marketingpilgrim.com. Andy Beal’s fantastic post gives a stunning overview from a marketing perspective with damage control suggestions.

Could there have been a mom on this account? Referring to a baby as a fashion accessory and saying things like ‘supposedly it’s a real bonding experience’ to wear them in a carrier could not come out of the mouth of a young mother.

Now, let me state that I don’t find this ad so horribly offensive as I find it horribly lame. (then again my youngest is 16 and he could carry me by now – great visual for those who know him).

Here’s the thing; if you are trying to market to young moms, how about a little research. You don’t even need traditional focus groups anymore, you can use the tools that were the demise of this campaign.

Seeing that within 24 hours there were 244,000 hits of outrage and commentary when I searched Google, 232 hits on Technorati, #motrinmoms and #motrin were the top trending topics on Twitter and there is already a Motrin Moms Facebook page, I would say that it would not have taken too much research to find out this ad would piss people off. Hey, this was the Joe the Plumber of the week.

I know this is getting long but bear with me. For I have just read a tweet from Jessica Smith of Jessica Knows informing us that is International Baby Wearing Week. (I kid you not). Could the Motrin team have known this and timed the ad? I am thinking not. If they did, wouldn’t they have jumped on this social media shitstorm in a heartbeat with some damage control? Although Mashable seems to think it was timed.

So, Mr./Ms. Motrin brand manager and your advertising team, shame on you for playing golf or going to the movies or whatever it was that you were doing on Sunday. Not so much for running the ad and thinking you were smart to time it with International Baby Wearing week, 20/20 hindsight is a beautiful thing. It is the non-reaction in realtime that is distressing. Did you (especially your agency) not have any alerts set for mentions of your brand? Especially if you were doing this timing thing. Isn’t this the job of an agency in 2008?  C’mon folks! I am sure at least the agency guys have iphones or crackberries buzzing away in their pockets all day long to make them feel connected.

Could it be that it wasn’t that the ball dropped on this, but they didn’t even know there was a ball? Good news is that these things tend to spread like wildfire and fade out just as soon as the next thing hits. It will be interesting to see if there are any long-term repercussions.

I don’t know about you but I have a headache from all this. I think I will go take a …

(quick update as of 9:30PM Sunday the Motrin site was just taken down, looks like someone woke up and is on the damage control. Can’t wait to see what the morning brings)

(11PM update (no I don’t sleep much) McNeil’s Consumer Healthcare VP of Marketing, Kathy Widmer sent this email to a mom blogger in response to her feedback on the Motrin site. Hope they get a more comprehensive response up on their site by the AM. And just a tip, if social media bites you in the butt, use it to make some lemonade).

11AM monday update: Mainstream media picks this up here 

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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