The Dog, The Smoke Alarm and The Rock of Gibraltar

mel_stairs

Let me start this off by saying that every year when we change the clocks I pass by the fire station sign that reminds me to change my smoke alarm batteries and feel very guilty that, once again, the one in my kitchen is no longer functioning. I make the effort to rectify the problem and buy the ‘less sensitive’ kind, hang it back up and all goes well.

For a few weeks.

It is inevitable that I will ‘cook’ something and forget it is on the stove. You know what happens, you put up the broccoli to steam, go down to check an email or two and before you know it the damn pot is black and there is a ‘light’ fog of smoke in the kitchen. Then off goes the damn smoke alarm.

This morning it was chocolate chip pancakes. Yes, I am a the model mom and I do make my son chocolate chip pancakes every morning. The day started fine. I got up early, remembered that I needed rolls, went to the bank and bagel store, even got a nice hot cop of joe. It was all under control. 

Sort of.

Somehow I lost the rhythm of the morning and the next thing I knew I was burning the pancakes and off went that friggin’ smoke alarm. Less sensitive my ass! Now all of this would not be such big deal if my poor sweet dog did not have a severe neurological reaction to the sound of the smoke alarm. (You remember, the dog that the UPS man found in the street and put in the yard) I mean this poor pooch starts to shake uncontrollably at the sound of this thing. Perhaps she could use some meds.

Here I am with a broom trying to shut the smoke alarm, the dog is shaking, Danny mentions it might not be a bad idea to shut the stove since the griddle is now smoking, Gary suggests opening a window, maybe a door and then he said it. The dreaded statement that has come up too often lately. The one that proves I have lost my ability to do it all:

“You know, you used to have it all together. Now it is like the Rock of Gibraltar is cracking again”

I HATE that line. Mostly because he is right. 

The dog? Don’t worry, by 11:00 she was fine.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at Mid-Century Modern Moms and at 50-Something Moms Blog.

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12 Comments

Filed under absurdities, family, homeowner, moms

12 responses to “The Dog, The Smoke Alarm and The Rock of Gibraltar

  1. Here’s a few questions. 1) Why didn’t Danny turn off the stove? 2) Why didn’t Gary open the window? 3) Why didn’t you all call it a morning and go out to bob’s big boy?

    Men. Sheesh!

  2. You lost me at “I do make my son chocolate chip pancakes every morning”

    Are you f^&%ing kidding?

    I feel so inferior.

  3. haha. don’t feel inferior. i burn them!!

    and remember, i only have one left home. the poor kid is like a watched pot. he recently told me that the only reason he requested chocolate chip pancakes as his breakfast of choice was because he figured i would tire of making them and he could lobby for junky cereal.

    and wait a minute, you make home made soft pretzels!

  4. judy

    ok–wendy beat me to it!! pancakes every morning?? damn… i stopped making them breakfast (ok–i put the cereal in the bowl) when they were in 6th grade…..or was it 5th??? maybe that’s the problem with my kids……and another thing–you did all those errands BEFORE making danny breakfast?? wow–am i lazy….

  5. need to jump in again. first, judy’s kids are perfect in my eyes. and second, while i am running stupid morning errands (not often I might add) she is delivering babies! who is lazy now?

    me, me, me.

  6. Throw the poptart box on the counter and call it a good day. Story reminds me of the many times my 3 kids (born within 36 months…yeah) would say in stereo, “Call 911, Momma’s cooking.” 🙂

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