Category Archives: friendship

September 7, 2009 · 7:55 pm

Time To Cry Tuesday – Penny

penny-nelson

Here is one for all you dog lovers out there.

Meet Penny. This past week she proved that poodles are no wussy dogs here on the peninsula. Her hairless sister has been featured here on Time To Cry Tuesday, and now it is her turn.

Take a look at that face. Ferocious? Perhaps not. She may actually look a little sleepy (or stoned – sorry El) in this picture. But in reality, Penny is the hero of the week in our sleepy little town.

Below is an email I received from her owner:

As you all know, I love my dog very much. With that said…

Yesterday, after being out for about two hours, I came home to find six police cars in front of my house. I walked over to one of the officers and asked what was wrong. He quietly took me over to my house and said there had been a break-in in several houses on my block and that he needed to walk with me through my house to see if this guy – who by the way was caught – had gotten in.

As we walked into my house I was greeted by my dog’s obnoxious barking and big smile. She was fine. As we walked through we realized that the burglar had not gotten in. Thank goodness.

But unfortunately he had gotten into the homes of seven of my neighbors. When I asked the police officer why he thought my house did not get hit, he said, you are holding her in you hands.

With that said, I love my dog even more than ever, all nine pounds of her! She got big treats last night and slept close to me becuase in my eyes she was a big time watch dog yesterday. And my hero.

So in honor of Penny, here is something to think about:

There was one of those heart-wrenching stories about a dog that dies and a kid’s perspective at the end of her email that I will not include in its entirety because of its length. I will, however, leave you with my favorite parts. Forgive my abbreviation (or thank me for it).

If a dog was a teacher you would learn things like:

Never pass up the opportunity for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you are not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Now go give your dog (or cat. or fish.) a hug and thank them for reminding you of all this.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 6, 2009 · 10:29 pm

Attractively Belligerent

Actual phone call with a friend on Friday Morning:

Me: Is it too early to drink?

Him: Hmmm, 9:30 am. Maybe a Sombrero, you know, something with Kalhua in it to have that coffee thing. On second thought I am sorry, I would say that you would have to acknowledge that you have a problem if you did.

Me: Yeh, I was afraid of that. And if YOU say it is too early to drink then I know it is.

Him: I suppose. So what is wrong that you need a drink at 9:30 in the morning?

Me: Nothing, just a trying work week.

Conversation continues and I suppose I had just a bit more of an edge than usual.

Him: You are a bit belligerent today.

Me: Oh no, really?

Him: Yes, but attractively billigerent.

And that, my friends, is true friendship! (thanks Dave)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 12, 2009 · 9:52 pm

Some of my best friends are gay

frank-selvaggiNo seriously, I know this line is cliché but everyone loves an attention grabbing post headline. Call me a blog whore if you must.

I don’t often write about my friends but this one could not go unmentioned. I have never been more proud. I have written about Frank once before over at 50-something moms with the catchy title I am in love with a gay man but don’t tell our husbands. (again, the blog whore reared its ugly head)

I have known him more than half my life and consider both he and his husband, Bill, family. At the darkest times in our lives Frank and I have always been there to pick each other up off the floor and dust each other  off. And in turn when there is something to celebrate we are always on each other’s short list of who to call.

As a gay activist his passion is second to none in raising both funds and awareness as the co-chair of the Empire State Pride Agenda. He has been a driving force for marriage equality in this country, which would make sense for he and Billy have not only the strongest marriage I know but also had the one of the best weddings I have ever attended.

The reason for this post is to congratulate my dear friend on his appointment to the board of directors of Signature bank. With tears in my eyes I read the statement that included his marital status. You have come a long way, my friend.

As I always told you, “All good things in all good time.”

Congrats Frank Selvaggi, I am so very proud.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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August 3, 2009 · 8:33 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Camp is Short and Life is Long

camp-is-short

This little pearl of wisdom spilled out of Gary while he was on the phone. He was explaining how we feel about the kids being counselors at camp. In these times of rising unemployment and stiff job competition it is hard to let go of the idea that internships and job experience are the only route to travel. Unless of course you understand the need they have to fill by going back to camp because you too, have known it first hand.

I have gushed about the way we feel about camp ad nauseam here, but bear with me on this one.

Read the title of this post and really think about it for a moment. If you ever went to summer camp you are smiling and nodding your head. If you have not, let me try to articulate the importance of this statement.

Camp is the essence of the freedom of summer. It is the place where you leave the social and scholastic pressures of the ten previous months at the threshold and you don’t look back for eight weeks. You can breathe and just BE YOU. The sweet core you without the hinderance of all that life piles on you. Yes, even as a kid. Or, in these times, especially as a kid. Sure there are social issues and competition, but somehow the aura that surrounds you at camp is one of tolerance. Kids of all kinds mesh into the fabric of the place.

When you walk into an alumni weekend at a sleepaway camp like we did this weekend, you see droves of young (and not so young) adults converging on the promised land of their childhoods. Some have just begun their journey down the path of adulthood. Some come back with their spouses in tow, trying to show them exactly why this place is so much a part of who they are today. Others are bringing their children to see the place in hopes that they will want to attend next year. And still others, like ourselves, watch our own kids become the leaders of the place.

How’s this for full circle? I watched my daughter tour a prospective camper around the place, giving her the full flavor of why she would want to be a camper there. This 7-year-old? She was the child of a woman who was my camper when she was ten. And the kid looked just like the mom did when I had her.

History. Love. Belonging. A sense of place.

Camp is short. And life is surely long.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 27, 2009 · 9:26 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Funny the way it is

late-show-theater

Indulge me one more Dave Matthews related post as tonight I had the thrill of seeing him live at the Ed Sullivan Theater. Yep, Gary and I not only went to the Late Show taping, thanks to a very special old friend, but got in for rehearsal and watched the band practice up close and personal.

Two Daves! What could be better?

Funny the way it is that one day someone is your assistant and you have them doing all sorts of ridiculous things like filling hundreds of little boxes with chocolate and tying ribbons on them, yelling at fed ex and making sure that the messenger has the right address; and then one day 12 years later they get you into the Late Show the night that Dave Matthews is on.

(or even funnier that I could think that last run on sentence was grammatically correct)

I am so proud of how far she has come in her career. And how effortless she makes her job look. She is one of the most entertaining people I have ever known, with a sense of humor that still takes me by surprise. You never quite know what will come out of that crazy mind. She was only a year or two older than my daughter is now when she came to work for us, and was surely the most over-qualified person to ever fill that position. It was a real joy to work with her.

People drift in and out of your life all the time. And if your lucky, they drift right back in and surprise you with how much you truly missed them.

Thanks SB, for a great time and a real thrill. I am so happy to have you back again.

Oh, and I am pretty sure Dave Matthews wanted to meet me, tell him I am sorry we had to rush out.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 20, 2009 · 10:37 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Childhood

oak-school-three

Oak School #3. From tiny acorns to mighty oaks.

This is the sign that sits in front of my elementary school. Just to the left and below the bay window that was my kindergarten room. Inside was the window seat that I sat on and watched my mom walk away the first day of school. Back in the day we did not go to pre-k. This building housed my very first moments in school.

I can still remember the way the stairs were worn in the middle of each step. The way the cafeteria smelled – a cross between tater tots and canned string beans. The nurses office where I took my first eye exam and discovered I needed glasses; the oval baby blue kind (very Brady Bunch, indeed). The amazing Austin Powers style mole on my teacher’s nose. (seriously, we even had a song for it).

The school alma mater was never so deep as to mention acorns to oaks — that sign was added only recently. Yet I do still remember every word. One of the more creative lines:

When I walk to school each day, I stop and look and then I say, “Oak School Three, is the best. It’s really better than all the rest.”

I know what you are thinking, who was the genius that wrote those lyrics?

Why the corny walk down memory lane? Because two of my mightiest oaks of childhood were visiting this weekend from out of town and there is nothing more fun than doing the tour of the formative years with people you shared them with. These particular ‘oaks’ were my brother and his best friend since 2nd grade. These guys were the coolest. Four grades above me, I was lucky if they let me watch TV with them.

This weekend we all spent time together. Going to the beach, walking the boardwalk, hanging at my parents house. If not for my adult nephews to keep us in check I am sure we could have easily reverted back to being the kids in the house. Come to think of it the conversation at brunch was as adolescent as it gets.

Just when you think you are all grown up…

your not.

Thanks guys!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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July 5, 2009 · 8:21 pm

Traveling to another dimension

amy-at-the-beach

If you have wondered where I have been these past few days, I have traveled to another dimension. One that I rarely visit.

Unplugged.

Yes, I know it is hard to picture me there. And to be perfectly honest I had a functioning blackberry so I could monitor email, blog comments, twitter and Facebook.But I chose to not participate for a few days.

It was Fire Island; synonymous with sea air, alcohol and dear friends that prompted my desire to just spectate. The only thing missing was a repeat performance from the cucumber plant that we witnessed last year.

Funny, I ran into friends on the beach who asked me what I was doing going for a walk and not blogging with the breaking news about Palin going on. I will leave her for another day. I only hope my Palin condom just went up in value with this new twist of the bizarre.

Have no fear, though. I shot over 100 images. I think this one is my fave. I will not be so lame as to make this a ‘where’s Amy?’ shot, because it is obvious. But this image captures the amazing place that I was. Both figuratively and literally.

Thank you Sam and Katie, for hosting yet another perfect weekend at the beach. This shot illustrates the inside, outside, sky, sea, sand, trees, architectural wonder that they call their beach home.

Don’t I blend in nicely with the environment?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone

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June 22, 2009 · 11:29 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – This is not a dress rehearsal…

I have decided to make this an annual post at graduation time, until next year when I will have another graduate to write about. I wrote this before I was a blogger. It was an email I sent to those who had been parenting with me since preschool. It was written on the morning of my daughter’s HS graduation. Funny how I have become the mom in the last paragraph. Perfect timing as she is leaving tomorrow for the summer after just a few short weeks at home.

This one is for all my girls (and guys) who are launching their girls (and a guy) this year: to Jo (& Mo), Karen (& Todd), Joyce (& David), Maddee (& Alan), Susan (& Neil), Michelle (& Daryl), Lisa (& Rob), and Nancy (& Uncle Neal). Grab your tissues and your hats, this one is not for the faint of heart!

This is not a dress rehearsal…

or watch the temp when you decide to iron the graduation gown.

6AM on the day that my first child graduates high school.

how can this be, she was just a curly-headed little whirling dervish whose door i had to hold shut as she was throwing her ever famous brand of temper tantrums. that same door with the loose latch from all the times she slammed it for effect when she stormed into her room in her tweens. you know the one, who at five years old marched into nuerosurgery to ‘get her neck fixed’ and never once asked ‘why me?’.

who was that radiant young woman that walked out of the house wednesday morning with her car packed and her keys in hand saying, “don’t worry mom, i have the garmin GPS, i don’t need a map!”

well i think, perhaps, i need a map today. someone tell me how to navigate this road. we surely have had enough practice. we graduate them ad nauseum – from the 4’s, kindergarten, 5th grade, 8th grade – the most graduated generation of all times. you would think we would get used to it. but this year’s cap does not have flourescent orange and green finger paint decorating it. this kid has actually grown up! how dare she. does she not know that my bravado this year has all been an act. of course i could not be ready for her to be the competant, independent, grab-the-world-by-the-balls person i worked so hard to raise. does she not know i was only kidding!! wisconsin?!! that is halfway across the country!

i digress – back to the gown and the iron. being a working mom i always look for ways to overcompensate and make sure that i am doing the mom thing as well as the work thing. so, of course, they both are never really quite up to the standard i expect. somewhere in the 4-page green directions for graduation (you know the one, where the assistant principal gives them a 10 bullet list for how to enjoy graduation and prom, 9 of which stress not drinking or doing drugs) there was mention of taking the gown out of the bag and ironing it. at midnight i was the mom who would just hang it up. at 6AM i decided no daughter of mine will graduate with a wrinkled gown!

so why is it, exactly, that they make these things out of the same material as basketball shimmer shorts?!

no, you will not be able to notice my daughter by the big brown iron mark on the back of her white gown. but if you look close, you may notice that on the front left shoulder the fabric is, how should i put it, a tad ‘melted’.

as jana would say, ‘it’s FINE’. as my parents would say, i did it ‘the Amy way’.

a huge thank you to the jana who has become one of my favorite people on earth to spend time with. surely the one that knows me the best, and loves me anyway. sometimes it seems that she is raising me. i think her humor and radiant smile will get me through this one. levity has always been her strong point.

love and congrats to all of you who have been in the parenting trenches with me the past 18 years. for some of you it is your first, others, your last. it is never easy to watch them go. but then again, we could all use a rest. and as my mommy mentors tell me, they come home, stay out all night, sleep late and bring lots of laundry.

let the games begin!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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June 8, 2009 · 10:09 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday: Priceless

There are a handful of moments in advertising history that have touched the souls of those who see them. One of the more famous examples is the Mastercard Priceless campaign. This past week, one of my mommy idols could have starred in one of these commercials.

The scenario: The Dave Matthews Band was playing on the Plaza in the Today Show Toyota Summer Concert Series. Both my friend and her 10th grade daughter are huge fans of the band. In fact, they are a full DMB family of fans. This particular friend has found herself to be an unlucky member of the Sandwich Generation. Many of us are in the midst of raising children at the same time we are dealing with aging parents with health problems. Being an only child of a widowed mom, she is the healthcare concierge extraordinaire. Last week was a particularly harrowing one on that front.

Enter the opportunity to go into the city at some ungodly hour (3:30 AM) to stand in line for the concert. She was all set to take her daughter and a friend until the weather turned nasty and she began to rethink the event. At this point her college-aged son pulled her aside in a sage-like manner and told her that she would never forgive herself if she missed this opportunity of a lifetime that her daughter would never forget. (please note: said son aspires to be a documentary film-maker).

Funny how our kids spout back at us what we have taught them.

So, without hesitation, sporting rain gear of all kinds, off they went on the 3:30 train into the city. I received an early text telling me she was there. Within an hour I texted back that I had not only seen her daughter dancing on camera, but had DVRd it. Her daughter could not be happier. Until… (yes this keeps getting better)

…she screamed out, ‘Dave, I love you” during a lull in the performance and he turned around and smiled at her. Kind of like a young girl’s dream come true. Wait, it gets even better.

During the show they gave out foam guitars to the audience. The daughter’s friend was holding one. After the show, Dave came around and signed the guitar! And the friend? He decided that since he would not have been able to go to the show with out her, gave the guitar to this very lucky girl.

I know, Time to Cry all the way around. I love this story. Not only because the main character is one of my main women, but because every step of the way it was about what I like to call ‘the good stuff’. Truly a priceless experience.

Here is a picture of the two happy teens on the train ride home. The inset shows the Dave Matthews sig.

After-the-show

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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May 18, 2009 · 11:00 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Volunteerism

stop-me_smallYou might have seen this image before, I am recycling today.

Oddly enough, this notepad was given to me by the woman who roped me into the biggest volunteer gig of my life; trying to pass a school bond. For those who were with me back then it was a magical time of passion and community activism at its finest. And of course at its worst.

We lost the fight that year but what I gained was the knowledge that a grass roots effort can be mobilized out of thin air. Not to mention the life-long friendships I forged with people who taught me so much.

I also learned that it is not always such a great idea to wake the sleeping giant of the opposition. (we sickeningly remember that as waking the sleeping no voters. that year there were quite a few who showed up on oxygen and with IV polls, but that is a story for another day). Yes, we lost that time around. In a big way. In fact my friends Dave, Cathy and I still introduce ourselves as the group that single-handedly failed the first school bond. We are quite infamous.

This Time to Cry Tuesday just happens to fall on the very day of our annual School Budget Vote. Sadly, passing a budget in this town has become a very difficult task. Year after year I worked the phones, handed out flyers, threatened my husband and did everything within my power to get out the vote. These days I have left the effort to the new wave of parents.

But the passion never dies.

To all my friends in the zip code, please do not forget to vote. And if your kids are over 18, make sure they vote too. Even if your kids are out of the district, help pass this budget for the sake of the new families who are the life of this community. After all, when our kids were younger the generation before us showed us the same commitment.

Here’s to my love/hate relationship with the act of volunteering. I am taking a little break for awhile, but no worries, I will be back.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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