Monthly Archives: December 2010

December 5, 2010 · 3:38 pm

Insomnomaniac

What do you do when you can’t sleep? When I can’t, I make up words and submit them to Urban Dictionary. Last month I tried to get Turkaphobia approved, but they denied it. My definition was ‘fear of cooking the Thanksgiving turkey’, which I happily overcame. I am guessing it had something to do with not being politically correct.

No not towards turkeys, but towards the country.

I am happy to report that this month’s submission – insomnomaniac – has been approved. I am not so happy to report that there is a typo in the sentence that I used in the example where ‘an’ is featured as ‘and’.

For those who can not read the picture above the definition is:

One who can’t sleep and becomes obsessed with late night activities.

Define obsessed.

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December 4, 2010 · 12:35 am

Tandem Colonsocopy

I get a close marriage. I am touched by a couple that wants to share everything. But a colonoscopy day? Hmmmm… not so much.

I bring this up because I have some friends (who will go unnamed so unless you were in the room don’t even try to ask who) that decided to book their colonoscopies on the same day. The sentiment was to be miserable together so neither one could really complain all that much and to get it over with together.

Isn’t half the fun of a colonoscopy the complaining. Oh right, now the fun is all in crapping your brains out, I forgot, forgive me. If you recall I did a very extensive blog post on my first colonoscopy

Sorry, this is just a little too much togetherness for me. And who gets the better bathroom?

Let’s put this out for a vote:

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December 1, 2010 · 8:08 pm

ROTNKID

Every once in awhile I come across a license plate that makes me wonder what kind of person would actually choose to have that on their car.

This is one of them. ROTNKID. So pal, your whole life your parents told you that you were a rotten kid so you decided you might as well let everyone else know it. Will it give you an automatic excuse for being a dick on the road?

Can you imagine someone coming to pick you up on a date with this plate? Or worse, one of your kids.

Now if this were a modern age parental plate it would say ROTNBEHAVIOR, because everyone knows you don’t tell your kid they are rotten. That would scar them for life. And maybe cause them to emblazon it on their license plate when they grow up.

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