Monthly Archives: February 2009

February 4, 2009 · 9:28 pm

Don’t Change that Channel!

The other day I was speaking with a friend who made a suggestion in jest – at least I think she was kidding. She felt that, as a country, it would be to our benefit right now to have a sort of government controlled broadcast of television.

Now, before you get all freedom of speech on me, let me explain.

I wake up each morning, go downstairs to make coffee and breakfast, turn on the TV and immediately get sick to my stomach. I don’t know about you but quite frankly I wake pretty chipper and happy, a fact that has annoyed the hell out of my kids for the past 19 years.

I really don’t need to hear the latest who-the-hell-laid-off-how-friggin-many-how-far-the-dow-dropped-faster-than-the-price-of-my-house-what-stores-are-closing-which-magazines-are-folding kind of ramble. I am a business owner, you don’t have to remind me before caffeine courses through my veins how lousy things are out there. Fear breading more fear. It’s a frenzy I tell you… enough!

Jeez! Where the hell is Willard Scott and the tango dancing, still working, walk five miles a day 100 damn plus-year-olds? Sweet Lord give me a Smuckers commercial to lighten things up already! The only thing that eased the load this morning was the ground hog that bit Bloomberg in Staten Island. (actually, that was really funny).

So here was what my friend proposed:

Leave it to Beaver, 24 hours a day.

For those who are too young to remember ‘The Beav’, screw you for your youth and here’s a little video. For those who are old as dirt like I am, tell me this does not calm your nerves. (Sue and Maddee, this is worth watching on a screen instead of a crackberry)

Your thinking it’s not such a bad idea, aren’t you?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 3, 2009 · 11:40 pm

Top Ten Search Terms (vol. 6)

It is that time of the month again, no worries, I am not talking PMS. This is the monthly installment of the  list of wild and crazy search terms that land readers on this blog. For those who missed the past installments you can read Vol. 1 here , Vol 2. here , Vol. 3 here , Vol. 4 here and you guessed it Vol. 5 here.

As always, I link the search term to the post I believe landed the reader here.

Feel free to click on the links. Don’t worry, we will wait while you read the past posts.

10. does hamster cry This was one of my favorite posts. To refresh your memory, or whet your appetite, this post featured a hamster playing the piano. And the famous comment from my daughter reminding me how we froze the dead hamster in a box in the garage freezer until the spring thaw. (true AND yes, scary)

9. dog shakes smoke alarm No the dog did not shake the smoke alarm. The sound of the alarm made HER shake.

8. ny sleepaway camp for abused children G-d no! This poor reader is either misguided or was rather disappointed when they found my blog.

7. hungry tampons Um, ew! This could have been many posts as I have written about tampons a whole lot. Probably something I should take a look at.

6. men wearing tampons See what I mean. Every month I have dozens of search terms about tampons. But this one definitely landed on the Obama wearing tampons post.

5. fat old men in bathing suit This was a favorite Gary post. And in the dead of winter after yet another dumping of snow I don’t mind looking back on that beautiful beach day in August.

4. joys of pantyhose Oh, ladies, don’t we all know the joys of pantyhose. You guys should really be jealous. I love linking to this as it was my first post EVAH! And looking back on it, this could have been one of the funniest.

3. cucumber girls Oh girls, you will LOVE this cucumber!

2. moms orgasm Yeh, well, probably should think about why someone would put those two words together and sit down for a little search.

1. palin condom This one just never gets old for me!

That does it folks. Another month of reminiscing!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 3, 2009 · 12:26 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Sunrise, Sunset

sunrise_sunset

The title of this post is for my brother. This is how I will be able to tell if he is reading. What, it’s not all about me and my blog?

When we were growing up my mom had a friend with a beautiful singing voice. At every Bar or Bat Mitzvah she would get up and sing Sunrise, Sunset with the band. As you would expect, all of us kids would roll our eyes, giggle a little, suffer glares and shushes from our parents and fidget our way through to the end of the song.

Years later, at my brother’s wedding, she got up and sang it again. As young adults the eye rolling was replaced with a wink, we had long since learned to stop fidgeting and our parents were way too busy full out weeping to worry about the likes of us.

Fast forward a quarter of a century. (this, too, is for my brother – everyone loves to think of themselves as being married for any fraction of a century, right?)

This past weekend I attended the Bar Mitzvah of a friend’s child. But this was not just ANY Bar Mitzvah. This, my friends, was the celebration of the last of the First Thursday children coming of age. The First Thursday group has existed since the month he was born, he is our measure for the length of our friendship and as you can imagine, he is our little mascot of sorts because of it. (surely every 13 year old boy would love to be referred to this way.)

Yes, number 18 has now become a man. Funny, but he still looked so young to me. Until the video montage looped its way into my line of sight and I saw all those kids frozen in time as they were when they were small.

Then I looked back on the dance floor and caught a glimpse of my sweet *J* (not Jana, this is my other J) in that beautiful blue satin dress the color of her eyes, of *N* and *K* in those drop dead sequin numbers with the high heels that would surely cripple the likes of me. And *V* dancing up a storm as if the whole damn world was her living room and she had it by the balls.

That’s when it friggin’ hit me. Like a ton of corny, OMG-I-have-surely-become-my-mother bricks…

I could have been singing the lyrics to Sunrise Sunset in my head.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 1, 2009 · 5:09 pm

The Rabbi and Fantasy Football

That title sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke your dad would tell, right? Actually, I have probably the coolest rabbi on earth. He chose to send this video out in celebration of Superbowl.

So here is a little extra post for today.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 1, 2009 · 1:40 am

2-4-6-8 lady you have too much on your plate

babies-on-a-plateCheck out my post at 50-something mom blogs about the California octuplets.

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