Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

December 7, 2009 · 8:16 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – For the love of a dog

A few years back we were given a plaque in our house (thanks Linda) that reads:

I wish I could be half the person my dog thinks I am.

How true is that? Seriously, she never tells me to stop obsessing, surely never asks me how much coffee I have had, and I don’t believe she has ever told me my ass looks fat in anything.

G-d I love that dog!

Mel is 11. Ok, she is 11 1/2. But she can hold her own on a long walk and is truly the mayor of the neighborhood. In her younger days she was known to wander. She can’t drive, but she thinks she can, she makes an impressive snowball and even has her own calling card.

Many of us have them, these canines we have raised alongside our children. They have walked the floors with us when our kids were sick, sat by our sides at night while we waited up for our teens and licked our tears when we needed a good cry. They love us unconditionally, carry our secrets and act as if a car ride for errands were a trip to the caribbean. They ask for nothing but a belly rub, a scratch behind the ear and table scraps.

Ahhh, the love of a good dog. There is no relationship on earth that compares.

So this Time to Cry Tuesday is a tribute to our Mel and to her dear friends, the ‘senior dogs’ in our lives that have given so much to the families we love: Ginger, Barkley, Penny, Misty, Gus and Cody. You guys rock the dog world!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 30, 2009 · 10:50 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – One in a Million

A million. That’s a hell of alot.

Of anything.

But members of a Facebook group? Many have tried but few have succeeded. Here are few examples of the success stories:

Barack Obama has 1,073,090.

Stephen T Colbert has 1,171,385.

None of this seems to be an obstacle for Speck Mellencamp. The 14-year-old son of Indiana rock star, John Mellencamp, has created the group 1,000,000 people to join, my dad john mellencamp will quit smoking.

Some will say he is crazy to attempt this. Others will ask why John agreed to it. Still others will wonder whether this is a publicity stunt. (I can assure you, it is not).

In my opinion none of this is relevant. What would be relevant is the fact that a 14-year-old son found a way to get through to his dad that just might work. Speck took the language of his generation and spelled out loud and clear a sentiment that maybe, just maybe, his nicotine-addicted dad just can’t ignore.

“Sure kid, get yourself a million members and then I will quit.”

Hmmm, never underestimate the power of a son’s love for his dad. Or the internet. Or the combination of both.

I LOVE THIS KID!

Why has this hit so close to home for me? First, there is nothing I love more than a parent and child story. And a close second would be a creative way to use social media. That coupled with the fact that the Mellencamps have been the kind of friends to faraway members of our family that we are infinitely thankful for. They have been there for them in person when we could not. And for that we will be forever grateful.

For all of you out there who are skeptics, shame on you. There is nothing more thrilling than a young person who will not take no for an answer.

Speck, you are one in a million, whether you hit your goal or not. You are surely destined for greatness. And John, you are one lucky dad who better get ready to pay up because my money is on the kid.

Now friends, go out there and join the group. Tweet, stumble, digg, kirtsy, carrier pigeon or whatever else you can to help spread the word.

(FYI, as of this writing the group has 5,595 members. It was launched the day after Thanksgiving)
UPDATE 12.1.09 11PM: over 42,000 members and picked up by AP. USA Today, Rolling Stone, Washington Post and going strong!)
 
Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 23, 2009 · 9:49 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Thankful


My mom found this the other day. I think Danny wrote it in 4th grade. (you gotta love the illustration!)

One would expect a little brother, three years junior to his sister, would idolize her at that age and write something sweet like this. But what got me as I read this was how close they have become now that they are grown. Not just siblings, they are truly friends who always have each other’s back.

‘I hope you be with me till the day I die’

And that, my friends, is a hell of a way to start Thanksgiving. Welcome home Jana-girl – nothing like everyone sleeping in their own beds!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 17, 2009 · 3:28 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Balance

I know, I know. This is a the longest I have been away from the blogosphere. I needed to cleanse, I suppose.

And cleanse I did. With a fine balance of caffeine and alcohol; laughter and tears; dear old friends and happily some dear new ones.

Ah, girls weekend. Who does not love the sound of that? Even when the ‘girls’ are turning 50 (or 46/47 – some are never really sure of their own age). Another weekend away with 9 women to celebrate the birthday of one very special friend.

We came from 3 stages of her life; childhood, young professional and current. Some crossed categories, others crossed the country, all showed up for the love of one friend that makes each and every one of us feel as if we are the most important person in her life. She is the problem solver. The go-to girl. The no-issue-is-too-big-or-too-small-larger-than-life-let’s-solve -this-baby-for-ya type woman that all of us would throw ourselves in front of a train for. Or a pitcher of bloodies, anyway.

Seriously, this is the woman who you call with anything from a health scare to a stubborn cleaning problem.

Throw in a the most beautiful venue on earth (W Hotel in Miami – more on this during the week) a beach, a pool, 80 degree weather and the most amazing hostess on earth and there is not one of us who is isn’t sitting at work today thinking, ‘why the hell did I come home?’

There is something about friendships like these that give you balance when the whole world tilts to the side. They stand you up, dust you off and make you laugh till you cry and cry till you laugh. Eye make-up did not stand a shot this week. As she so eloquently put it today: “Nothing like a little time away from home to forget all the problems and refuel with some good times.”

Life is hard. Period.

Friends make it not so hard. Period (again).

Only I could keep writing after saying ‘period’.

Thank you to all the amazing women who I shared this weekend with and thank you, as well, for pointing out that most of my wardrobe, in fact, looks like my black bathrobe (more on that tomorrow).

Love you all!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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November 9, 2009 · 9:16 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Stop, in the Name of Love

stop in the name of love

Every morning my dog and I go for a walk. We pass the same homes everyday and have a wave and nod relationship with most of the neighborhood.

Sunday morning we went out a little later than usual and the weather was simply spectacular. At 10Am it was already in the 60s and a perfect clear day. We passed a house that is on our usual route and the dad came out the front door in his golf clothes carrying his clubs to the car. He seemed rushed and trying to make a getaway.

As we passed by, his young son – maybe 3 or 4 – opened the front door of the house. He was wearing his pajamas and carrying a blanket. He was a classic portrait of cute. He called out the door, “DADDY! DADDY!”. The dad seemed rushed and did not answer. Again, the kids yelled, “Daddy, Daddy! I love you!”

And again the dad did not answer. I could not bear to look at that little face.

In all fairness, I have been that dad. Well, no penis, so I guess I have been that parent. I know what it feels like to have been up at the crack of dawn with little kids after working all week. I have done many a let’s play brio trains, let’s do puzzles, be my horsey, fall asleep on the rug with a pile of legos stuck to my face still clutching my coffee cup kind of morning. I have known the years when you die to grab a few hours to yourself. In this guy’s defense it was a gift of an extra golf day in November. And with the age of his son, there would be years of Daddy I love you’s still left.

But I wanted to stop him and tell him that although these mornings seem to go on forever they actually disappear so quickly. To let him know that before he turns around little Mr. Daddy I Love You will sleep till noon, wake up and inhale large quantities of food and then grab his keys to go out with his friends leaving you at the door thinking quietly to yourself, “Bye son, I love you.”

This Time to Cry Tuesday goes out to my friends and readers with young kids to remind you that it goes fast. And even though they grow up and still tell you they love you – my kids do at the end of each and every phone call and email – nothing is quite the same as being the center of their little pajamed, blanketed universe.

While on the topic of appreciating every moment, I am linking to the most moving post I have ever read. It was written by a reader/blog friend, Suzen of erasing the bored. She is the mother of a soldier that thank goodness has finished 6 years of service in the Army and is home safely. She bravely shares her experience of  sending her son off to war. Suzen’s heartfelt account is beyond description. She is, as I told her, my hero. On the eve of Veteran’s Day please keep all the children of military parents in your hearts and prayers. And let’s remember that no matter what your politics, there are families out there who need our support.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 26, 2009 · 11:30 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – And in the end…

… the love you take is, is equal to the love you make.* – Lennon/McCartney

I heard this today. For perhaps the 1,000th time in my life and yet in the context that it was quoted I had never heard it quite so clearly.

In our busy lives we often forget what is really important. We jump from task to task, place to place, moment to moment without stepping back to just ‘be’. And part of ‘being’ is to make sure that we nurture the people in our lives that need it most.

Hopefully at the end of the day, week, month, year… life; it all evens out.

This Tuesday I would like to try a little experiment. Indulge me, if you will, and make an effort to even things out so to speak. Stop, smell the coffee, the roses or whatever else finds its way up your nose and make sure you let someone know how much they mean to you.

The inspiration for today’s post comes from a woman who touched so many and prompted a son-in-law to utter those lyrics… in the end.

Let it Bea!

*(The End is the final song of  the sixteen-minute medley on side 2 of Abbey Road, the final Beatles album).

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 19, 2009 · 9:03 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Where the Wild Things Are

where-the-wild-things-are

“Oh please don’t go – we’ll eat you up – we love you so!”

I can’t help it. That line kills me.

Every time.

To say that I have a soft spot for this book is an understatement. A few weeks ago I mentioned that my son hit send on his first college app as the movie commercial aired. Danny agreed to see it with me. Part humoring me, part his own nostalgia, I suppose.

Life takes mysteriously coincidental turns. As we were leaving to see the movie yesterday, I did a quick check on the college website to see his status. Miraculously, before my eyes, the pending status changed to…

Danny_accepted-collegeAll sorts of screaming, tears, and jumping up and down ensued (that was mostly me). And then we went off to see the film. (which by the way I LOVED, but by no means should you take little kids to see this).

Sitting there in the dark with my boy – watching this childhood fave come to life – was such a MOMENT. But when that last line was spoken, those words were almost too much to bear. In my head I thought, off you go, my son, on to your next adventure. But in my heart all I could hear was…

“Oh please don’t go – we’ll eat you up – we love you so.”

Congrats to my boy who worked so hard to get all that he deserves. And I want you to always remember that no matter where you go, when you come home to your ‘very own room’ you will always find ‘your supper waiting for you’

‘and it will still be hot.’

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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October 12, 2009 · 9:49 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Get What You Need

IMG_3945

Three days at the beach and I no longer have that knot in my neck I have been carrying around for weeks. I read a book in a beach chair, slept through the night, napped(ish) in the afternoon, hardly touched the keyboard saw dolphins(!) and watched birds for a solid 20 minutes at a time.

Fire ants and 95 degree scorching heat aside, this long weekend was perfect. Nothing a little cortisone cream and a float in the gulf could not fix.

A beach house. That is my little slice of heaven. I am not the Ritz Carlton/Canyon Ranch kinda girl. Not that I don’t enjoy a little luxury now and then, but give me a barefoot community with the sand and surf out the back door and I am Home.

Yes, Home with a capital H.

Each one of us has something in our core that gives us peace. Sadly many don’t ever break down the walls surrounding it to find out what it is. Or find the ability to Be Here Now and drink it in when they have the chance. For me it is the beach. Even off season. The sight of a majestic sky over the water, the sound of the surf, a morning walk to discover a cove that almost brought me to tears for the sense of peace I found there; these are all my core and bring me back to who I am.

Over the past few years, for circumstantial reasons, we have not been able to take the week to 10-day vacations that we really could use. Instead we have honed the fine art of the few day getaway. I am not saying I don’t want the long vacation, but this is not about want.

It’s about need.

A huge Thank-you with a capital T to Gary, who knew exactly what I needed and made turning 50 the best birthday ever.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 29, 2009 · 12:27 am

Time to (laugh till you) Cry Tuesday

Smoked Salmon Bagel

Jews were not meant to go without food.

It is a simple fact that without caloric intake, and surely caffeine, things can go haywire.

Big time.

Antics. That is the only way to explain the absurdity of the end of my day. Amy antics. To the nth degree.

Keep in mind that the patriarchs in the family are hearing about this for the first time with this blog post, so to my dad and father-in-law, sorry the bagels were not warmed up and really, it was all my fault.

Here goes. And understand that there is no way you could make this stuff up.

I, in my control freak fashion infinite kindness, tried to help my mother-in-law out by picking up the food for break fast and keeping it in my garage fridge so it would not spoil. On cooler days she can keep it on her terrace, but in the name of not wanting rancid smoked fish and egg salad, we offered to keep it here and bring it over to her house at 5 when my husband and the dads went back to closing services for Yom Kippur.

For reasons of logistics I was taking my dad’s car. I loaded the trunk, closed it and realized I had just…

locked the keys in the trunk!

Yeh, well that did not suck much. I was going to run to my parents house (35 minutes away) to get another set of keys when my mother-in-law, in her infinite wisdom suggested AAA. The fact that she was not ready to kill me at this point is truly amazing.

I begged the guy on the phone to get here ASAP telling him how my dad was going to kill me. Then promptly told him how old I was when he replied, “hey, I am 62 and I am still afraid of my mother! She used to chase me with a wooden spoon.” Alrighty, then.

Sure enough they sent a locksmith within in the hour.

My man Andre! Oh, how I loved him. Especially when we found out that the trunk release button did not work unless the key was in the ignition. If you are still with me here, THE KEYS WERE IN THE DAMN TRUNK. He used the little entry to the trunk through the armrest in the back seat and somehow navigated around platters and bagels and kugels to find those keys. And during it all gave some sage-like advice about some higher reason why we should not be where we were supposed to be at that moment and that is why this happened.

Zen locksmith.

And then it started to rain.

Luckily we got there about 15 minutes before the starving temple guys and made a quick effort of getting it all together.

Sorry dad, but don’t worry, the car is fine. Thanks to my mother-in-law for being such a good sport and my mom for staying calm and sharing a good (nervous) laugh through it all.

Moral of the story:

Stay out of it and risk the rancid fish on the terrace.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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September 21, 2009 · 10:06 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Hit Send

send-button

We are here. Where, you ask?

Here!

On the other side of ‘send’.

And with that simple click of the mouse, Danny – the baby – has submitted his first college app.

Too melodramatic, you say. Hmmm, well I say you are all too vocal tonight. How do you like that?

Tonight, as we were watching promos for ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ – the movie adaptation of one of our favorite books from his childhood – that crazy app went soaring through the interwebs and officially turned my little boy into a college applicant.

‘It roared its terrible roar and gnashed its terrible teeth’ and transformed ‘that little boy who made mischief of one kind…

and another…’

into a man(ish)-type person.

Never in the history of ‘send’ has such a small gesture meant so much. (ok, I agree I AM leaning heavy on the melodrama pedal here). But there is something both exciting and petrifying about the idea of this process beginning.

First kid launched? Of course that was monumental. Second kid off? That means all sorts of things. Yes, even more than looking for that special cat food parmesan recipe because we are paying for two kids at the same time.

It means sad things like the end of an era. But it means exciting things too. Like having actually survived custodial child-rearing (with minimal scars). And not having to travel during school vacations.

So here’s to ‘send’. May it bring to my boy all he dreams of and send him where his new life will begin.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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