Category Archives: teenagers

August 19, 2008 · 10:23 pm

#1 Sign that Your Daughter is Too Old for the Pediatrician’s Office

NOTE: It’s Wednesday and that means I am posting at Mid-Century Modern Moms today. Don’t miss it!

Jana is home for 5 whole days between camp and school. We like to think of this week as relay for health. We fit many doctor’s appointments into a short period of time. Last visit was the dentist, eye doc and gyn. This week it is allergist x 2 (trying to get that asthma in check) and the dreaded annual check-up with…

the pediatrician. Ok, so she is 19 and we are still visiting the pediatrician. Yeh, like we are the only ones doing that! While we were in the exam room I heard what sounded like a full grown man in the other room taking an eye test.

Note the ‘gown’ she was asked to put on. She wanted to know what short little porker size kid this was designed for. Wait, didn’t I see this top in a Vera Wang ad in the NYT fashion mag?

What is with our generation that we don’t trust the big people’s docs with our college kids? Do we have some strange masochistic nostalgic streak that makes us feel the need to still be around kvetching babies and toddlers in the waiting room to validate our vision of ourselves as ‘mom’?

Here are a couple of favorite sound bites from the ONE HOUR wait to see the doc:

8-year-old-girl: Mom, remember our babysitter Uma from Iraq?

Mom: She was from Canada!!

Mom: Let’s play the guessing game. I am thinking of a man.

Kid 1: Is he a singer?

Mom: Yes.

Kid 2: Bob Dylan?

Mom: No.

Kid 2: Bob Marley?

Note to self: kidnap Kid 2 and take her home. She fits perfectly with our musical tastes and Gary always wanted a third child. 

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August 5, 2008 · 8:10 pm

Show Me the Money!

No, Danny has not learned to be a drug dealer at camp – although he did seem to feel awfully comfortable handling cash! Jana thought this looked like an evidence photo. I particularly like the hanger sticking out of his head.

During our trip to the fundraiser at camp we had the complete joy of being part of the afterglow. The two girls and two boys who co-chaired, spent the better part of a day engaging in the most fun part of the the afterevent…

counting the loot. This is akin to forgetting how awful labor was once you see the baby.

They sat in the house of one of the camp directors, sorting and counting the cash. And we got to watch! They were so excited. There is always a big competition between the oldest boys’ and girls’ booths. This year the boys beat them by about $100.

Now get this, the take on just these two booths was almost $15,000!!! I am blown away. Last year’s event raised $40,000. (they are hoping to beat that number). The money is donated to a number of charities, many that are children focused.

Of all the things these kids learn at camp, this could be the most important one.

Now, whoever keyworded ‘lazy jew parents send their kids to camp’ to find this blog, I challenge you to defend your point!

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July 27, 2008 · 9:34 pm

To the Man/Boy at the MickyD’s on I-95…

it is so not OK for you to being wearing your pants that low!

Look pal, first off, you are way to old for this (mid 20’s at least).

Second, you are white. This is not your look, you are trying to emulate and it doesn’t work for you.

And lastly, you honestly walked like you had a huge load in your pants. I can’t believe that is either a) comfortable, or b) good for your back.

Now, I have an almost 16-year-old son, and I am not ignorant to the low-riding style. I get it. It is a fashion thing and that is fine. I am not saying you should wear your pants up high on your waist.

But let’s face it, dude, when your belt is tightened BELOW your ass there is no way those pants are staying up without that crap-in-the-pants waddle.

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July 23, 2008 · 10:08 pm

So you wanna be a rock ‘n roll star…

My husband came home from work yesterday with an envelope that his father gave him. Inside were original copies of his birth announcement, his bar mitzvah invitation and this business card from his teenage band. (guess which one was most precious to him).

For those who are not locals and don’t get the pun, Long Island is bordered on the north by a body of water called, you guessed it, the Long Island Sound. (how clever). Why would a teenage band have biz cards, you ask. Well, if your father was a printer, you had biz cards. And that made you very cool!

Note the exchange in the phone numbers with the letters in them. If the font and colors did not date this sucker, that surely does!

Gary was the drummer (everyone always loves the drummer). He can’t seem to remember exactly who Eddie, Jay and Paul were, so if any of you happen to know these guys, give us a shout.

This got me to thinking that my saving of ‘stuff’ – a trait I inherited from my mom – is a good thing. There is nothing more enchanting than when a joyful piece of your past is dropped in your lap. A little part of your childhood that was long buried is brought back, bringing with it a flood of precious memories.

Ok, so I am a bit nostalgic today. That is not a bad thing.

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July 15, 2008 · 8:47 pm

Where the Party At?

Oh the suburbs! You just never know when the zip code will give you a little laugh.

Garbage day, that is a concept you don’t know from in the city. But here in the burbs we have set days that the garbage is put out at the curb for pick up.

The other morning, after the dog walk (the wandering rascal is leashed for this) I was talking with the neighbor and his adorable grandson when I noticed that there was some garbage at my curb that I did not recognize. (yes, I am very close with my garbage if you must know).

Get this, it was a Coors Lite 12 pack. I certainly do not drink Coors Lite and Gary does not drink at all! And if you are all paying attention out there, the hormonal teens in my house are away for the summer. In this box were the empties, a few crumpled snack bags and right on top, neatly placed, a stack of red plastic cups like the one above. A regular little party on the go, if you will.

I am not sure if this is just a thing in our town, but for some reasons teenagers always drink beer out of these red Solo cups. Never blue or white or clear for that matter, only these red ones. HS kids here have actually gotten in trouble with the school district for having Facebook pics holding these red babies. Very incriminating indeed. (I am thinking their civil liberties might have been violated there, no?)

I digress, sorry. Being the CSI queen, or as Gary has dubbed me more than once, the Dick in the Mouth Detective, I came to the conclusion that some teen in the ‘hood did not want to get caught having a party while the rents were out and got up early to unload the evidence with my garbage.

Not only creative, but I have to say I was rather impressed at the environmentally sound means of disposal. I am thinking at that age we just left them on the closest street corner and ran away.

Ahhhh, GenGreen, how could I get mad at these little degenerates!

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