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Happy 33!

Yes, I got your age correct this year. The crazy thing about this birthday is you are now exactly (by one day), half my age. (notice how I did not say I am double yours). I was your age when I had you. I have lived half my life as your mom! Ok, you get it.

33. You are in such a good place. This half of my life has been so fun watching you get here. You have become one of the people I most want to hang with. You tolerate my craziness, even appreciate it, laugh at (most of) my jokes, and ground me when I start spinning into infinity.

But the best part about being your mom is knowing that you watched, you listened and learned to live in such a way that people know they can always count on you. And you married someone who is exactly the same way. What a gift. To each other and to your families, friends and co-workers!

Son. Brother. Friend. Husband. Uncle. Senior Manager, Product Owner – Workday. (ha, at least you don’t have the words ‘human capital’ in your title anymore, that freaked me out) You kick ass in all those roles. You certainly go the extra mile in the uncle dept, evidenced by the photo above!

It is hard to imagine what your little people will be like when they grow up. It is crap shoot of nature vs. nurture for all of us. We certainly could not be any happier with what we got in you. As your 4th grade teacher once said, you are a happy go lucky deep thinker. We are so happy you stayed that way. A hard task these days.

May the world continue to spin in your direction. And when it changes course, and it will, you will know how to weather any storm. Know that just as you are always there for me, I will walk through fire to be there for you.

Happy 33, Buckaroo!

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Born on the 5th of July

You start out with 2 kids, and if you are lucky, they bring in 2 more that feel like they are your own.

Enter the lovely Becky, the tamer of the sweet and salty Danny. She appeared in the depths of covid and folded right into our quirky little fam with the grace and humor that was needed to not only tolerate us, but be amused and embrace us.

A few things about Becky. First, she is everyone’s dear friend. Truly. Everyone considers her their inner circle, evidenced by the amount of times she has been a brides maid. What touched me so much about this was the similarity to my mom… after Elaine was gone everyone told me she was her best friend. She would have LOVED Becky.

Second, she is grace under fire. She may not see herself that way, but we all do.

But most important is her ability to let it go and give you a pass. Example: her birthday last year and I forgot! When I brought it up this year she said, you got a pass because you had covid. Really? who does that? Your future mother in law forgets your birthday months before your wedding and you give her a pass? Gotta love that. (Hopefully this day late post will fall under that category too… don’t worry we FaceTimed yesterday, I’m not that lame)

Wishing the happiest of birthdays and the most spectacular of years to our boy’s girl. We could not love you more.

.

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Daddio-sir and the Big 97!

No photo description available.

Yep, you read that correctly, my dad is 97 today! .

The HarvZ. Zaidie. Daddio-sir. Or just plain Harvey. Call him what you will, this guy has been a constant since I hit the ground wailing. And has tolerated me for just as long.

Most of the time. (I was a challenge, to say the least)

The man that has kept my moral compass on straight, challenged me with everything from knowing I could do whatever I wanted in this world to keeping my patience in check. We have walked many paths together, but there has never been a single moment in my life that he has not been there for whatever it is that I needed. Sure we locked horns, we are cut from the same cloth. But he has never been short on praise, love and the ability to guide me to do whatever has to get done. Suck it up, little girl, you can do anything.

This guy is the king of showing up. He has NEVER used guilt and has always been grateful for what life has had in store for him. His success in business, his great love story with my mom and his undying love and pride in the 3 generations below him, keep this guy fighting the good fight to – as he says – wake up and tell the parts that work to drag around the ones that don’t.

Every day has been a gift. Every phone call ends in the sincerest ‘I love you’. Every road we have walked has been an honor. My gratitude is beyond for the luck I had in being born to my incredible parents.

Happiest of birthdays, Daddio-sir, to the moon and back.

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This is 36!

Really? Let me recalculate! Yeh, 36. Crazy.

Jana, one day you are a toddler and the next I am watching you raise one. Toddler 2.0 who sort of makes you look like you were easy. Luckily he is equally as adorable and endearing. The thing that blows me away is your infinite source of patience. Your ability to distract and stay calm, to engage and comfort, all without ever losing your cool. Sure once in a while you have to put yourself in time out (yes I am aware we don’t use that anymore). But for the most part, you are unwavering. In the face of so much, you still remain chill and continue to delight in being a mom. And in loving the life that you and Corey have built.

So THIS is 36! You are killing it.

You are the girl who knows who you are and is comfortable almost everywhere. The best wing woman to have at a social gathering, you make making friends look easy. You have the quickest wit of anyone I know, always hitting the mark and making me laugh. You are loved and respected in your professional life, where you keep the same sense of humor you use at home. You show up for all of us in a way that makes me prouder than anything on this earth. It is no wonder the skies have chosen to smile down upon us for your birthday.

In our family we cherish a few important things: family, music, laughter, hard work, hard play and showing up. You check every one of those boxes, my sweet daughter. I am so lucky to have you.

Yep, I would say it was worth the first 3 years of your life. You are proof that challenging toddlers grow into stellar adults.

Love you to the moon, Petunes. Happy 36!

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The Day After

Sitting here in a moment of ultimate personal joy and unthinkable global sadness it is hard for me to do much today. So much emotion. And I usually do emotion well.

The marriage of my son to the woman of all our dreams this weekend was one of the highest highs a parent can experience. The love in the room, the joining of two strong supportive families, the beautiful traditions and all the people who mean so much to all of us… THIS. This is what makes life so rich.

And yet we cannot ignore the significance of this date. And the current world situation.

I was inspired to write this by a beautiful, strong young woman I met this weekend. She is an American who lives in Tel Aviv. And I am so very honored to have met her and have our families joined. She flew out of Israel for this wedding, luckily in a sliver of time when she could. I asked her how she was doing. Her answer to me was this: we are at a Jewish simcha. This is what it is all about. This is what makes us exist. Got to love the Israeli mindset and Jewish outlook on life.

The Jewish wedding ceremony, the signing of the Katubah, the breaking of the glass, the seven blessings, the Hora… every one of those precious moments that always bring us closer to our culture and faith, had such a heightened significance at this time. Sitting in the middle of the two most sacred holidays of the year was that much more meaningful.

We are Jews.

We are those Jews. The ones that stand strong and proud, that love and care deeply for all humankind, and will never let anyone shake that.

There is no room for hate in a room filled with that much love.

May all who are suffering today feel the power of our heritage. May we stand tall and proud and never tolerate the evil and propaganda that threaten our existence. May those who are defending our freedoms stay safe and continue the job of ridding the world of this poison. May we NEVER forget. And let us say… Amen.

Am Yisrael Chai.

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How many years does the average person waste being an idiot?

Good start, right? I needed a good opener since it’s been a while. Thank you to Marta Molnar for asking this question in the delightful book I am reading, The Secret Life of Sunflowers. I am a bit rusty, but here goes:

Is sharing weird stuff journaling?

Is stopping on the street to shoot something that intrigues you journaling?(apologies to all who walk with me)

Is taking a shot of a quote in a book and sharing it journaling?

Does it matter what we call it?

I ask because I decided that I wanted to start my day journaling. I have more time now (making the name of this blog sort of ironic) and felt the need for some structure in the morning. And then I realized, I used to do this every day here!

So… I think I am back. But don’t hold me to it. And you can call this whatever you like.

This morning’s thoughts were spawned by the quote in the title. I took a shot of my kindle (sort of analog/digital behavior) and sent it to my son. This is one of our traditions that I simply adore.

It begs this question for all of us. I would like to believe that my behavior is driven by thinking things through and going with my gut. But I have to own the fact that I have spent many days being an idiot. Plain and simple. Pure ‘what the hell was I thinking’ stuff. By this age they probably add up to a few years at least!

Note to self: Be less of an idiot.

Thoughts?

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Never Again

Never Again. We were raised on these words. We were sure that this could never happen again. This past week so much has been written that I did not feel the need to add my voice to this repetition. Until I realized that as a Jew I have an obligation to not remain silent.

We are Jews. We are Jews before we are our nationality. We are Jews before we are our professions. We worry about the safety of our children and grandchildren, our elders, our peers, because no one appears to be spared. We have lived our entire lives knowing there are places we are not comfortable for they are filled with the hate and rage of those who want us dead. For centuries.

We did not expect our homes to be one of these places… again.

We don’t own this space. But what we do fear is that even those who have had to suffer a similar plight, or those who habitually speak out in their defense, are finding it hard to stand by us. The knowledge that this is going to get much worse sickens us. That other innocents will suffer in the wake of our only option for survival is counter to all our beliefs.

Our collective shock from the terrorism is horrifying enough, but the reactions that reflect how truly broken our country and our world have become; these are what frighten us most.

I am left here, to bring to our lives the only thing that can help us bear what has happened.

Hatikva (The Hope). I hear this anthem and I am brought back to the Hebrew school days of my childhood. When I complained about having to attend and now I am so very grateful to my parents for giving me a solid Jewish education.

Now I get chills when I hear the soldiers waiting to go into battle singing this in unison. When I read of communities around the world gathering to chant these words together. NYC organizing to sing this out their windows at a set time the way they cheered for healthcare workers each night during the pandemic.

HOPE. All caps. Because when there is chaos the only antidote is hope.

Please note: commenting will be turned off for this post, because… I would like to end with hope.

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This is 31

Uncle Danny.

Becky’s almosthusband (I never liked the word fiancé).

My boy.

There is nothing quite like watching your son sit in the happiest times of his life.

So here you are Dan. This moment in time when it all is falling into place and that smile seems to be a permanent fixture on your face. Not bad for a guy who could win the salty championship on any given morning.

Watching you get to this point has been such a joy. I am so proud of all the patience and support you have displayed to get here. At work. At home. And within our family.

This has been a roller coaster year. But you are the guy we can all always count on. You scoop me and make the hard things so much easier with your steady support and calm strength. And you bring fun and light into everything we do together.

A quick ‘you ok, Ma?” text to check in on me means more than you will ever know. Our shared book quote texts are one of my favorite things about being your mom. (note the main communication is texting here… yes I get you hate the phone).

You have taken my advice to be all you can to new heights. I can’t wait to see what you do next.

Love you to the moon, buckaroo. Happy 31!

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This is 34

You are 34, right? I keep having to recount by doing the year you were born math and we all know what Mom Math looks like.

Well, this was a big year, wouldn’t you say? As a recruiter, you have learned how to add working mom to your resume. Huge skill set! But you have absorbed the role into your life so naturally. Not easily, but with the grace and whole heart that you do all things.

The best part of you becoming a mom for me has been the moments when the light bulb goes on for you. Like this one:

In the long list of our daily correspondence about the happenings in our family and all the “how did he do last night?” texts, this one sticks out for me. There are moments in a parent’s journey that they can’t ever fully forget. Nor should they. A restaurant name shakes loose a particularly trying time. We revisit that time and have a knee-jerk reaction.

A non-parent child will sort of get it at best, or roll their eyes at worst. But after squeaking out a puppy, you completely understood this.

And yes. I loved that moment. And all the other moments, both wonderful and trying, in which I get to witness your parenting experience.

Life is surely different for you now. The new road has been a challenge. And yet every day you find another moment to prove what a wonderful mom you are. And share how much joy you can derive from even the smallest experience.

The juggle is real. Watching me do it may have prepared you for it. It is not always pretty but it is never boring.

I will end this post with my best parenting advise. No condition is permanent. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Use your intuition. Never say ‘my child will never ____”. Love every moment, even the shitty ones. And never say no to a grandparent when they offer to babysit!

May 34 bring you more joy than pain, and the ability to adjust the volume of each to make life the best it can be.

Love you to the moon, Petunes.

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This is 30

Remember this moment. Try to slow down time and realize how spectacular it is. Breathe it in. Eat it for breakfast. (metaphorically, of course. Everyone knows you don’t eat breakfast). LIVE it.

I just read this passage, and thought how timely it was. And how much I love that we always send a highlight from a book to each other.

Try not to let this ‘grown up’ life move too fast. Try to be here now. Even for the tough stuff. Yes, this is where I remind you that misery gives happiness context.

Life is intense for you now. Your days kick your ass and you kick them right back. Big time. You’ve got this. All of it. And as I’ve watched you grow I stand in awe of the life you’ve built. It is a joy to watch you. I hope it is still a joy to BE you.

The 4th grade teacher called you a happy go lucky deep thinker. Still be that! connect with your inner ‘little Danny’.

Happy 3-0, Buckaroo. (Time to stop calling you that? Never!) May your next year be all you dream of.

Oh, and now you get to carry my favorite advice:

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