Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

December 27, 2010 · 7:37 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Old Dog in the Snow

This old girl has always loved the snow. She would be the first one out the door and the last one back in. But 11 some odd winters have played havoc on her old bones and for the first time she had a really hard time this year. Granted we got slammed with a foot and a half and moving around was hard for everyone.

But her heart wanted to bound while her body knew it did not have it in her anymore. Don’t be too sad. She had a modified snow day. And she seemed content to lay in the sun in the front hallway for the remainder of the day watching the weather through the glass.

But I will tell you that first thing this morning when she woke up and went to the back door I could absolutely read her mind, “And I am so supposed to go out and pee in this how?”

 

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December 20, 2010 · 10:42 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Hey, buddy can you spare a dime

Times are tough. And tough times take their toll on charities. Many a start-up has sprung up of late with microgiving solutions that allow people to give on any level they are comfortable.

The latest such brainchild is SwipeGood. This one is a complete no-brainer. The founders believe that giving should be simple, constant and ubiquitous. SwipeGood accomplishes that mission by rounding all your credit card purchases up to the nearest dollar. The ‘spare change’ is given to a charity of your choosing. Brilliant!

When you think about how easy it is to give in this way, continuously and without feeling the pinch, you wonder why no one has thought of this before.

In this season where so much is spent on nonsense and so many in need are doing without, it does my heart good to see an innovative concept like this emerge.

Spare change to effect change.

Nice concept indeed. (and not a bad tagline, now that I think of it)

 

 

 

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December 14, 2010 · 12:07 am

Time To Cry Tuesday – Is facebook like gum on your shoe?

I had this conversation with Dr. Jimmy the other day. We were talking about people who had become facebook friends and how they fit into our lives. I don’t think that when Zuckerberg thought this whole thing up he had any idea how it would effect those of us who actually have a past.

This was created for people who basically had only a present – young people. People with barely any history. When they first came on they were looking to connect. Many were looking to acquire more or deeper relationships, but they were surely not looking for kids they knew in preschool!

Then we old school types came along and we were looking to REconnect with people from our past. And sure, people from our present too; but I think the lure for most people ‘of a certain age’ was to get back in touch with those that time and distance had squeezed out of our lives.

ish.

In the process we started to get ‘friend’ requests from people who had organically slipped out of our lives. And we were either not unhappy about it or at the very least… indifferent. I always say, if I did not connect with you in High School, why would I want to reconnect with you now?

Now we are subjected to the constant stream of intimate details of the lives of those that we really never knew all that well in real life. We don’t want to be rude and ‘unfriend’. Sometimes we cannot stand either the monotony of what they post or the cryptic crises that people feel the need to spout in status updates. (what is that by they way?)

Don’t get me wrong, I love the upside of facebook and the friends that I have found again and share with. But the others…

Yep, facebook can sometimes turn people from your past into gum on your shoe.

(oh great, now all my old friends are going to worry that I am talking about them… c’mon you guys, don’t get all insecure, you know I love you!)

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December 6, 2010 · 8:53 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Fig Newtons and a Cup of Tea

We called her Nana Julie but I don’t recall why; her name was Julia. My other grandmother was Nana Car… because she was the one that drove.

Obviously.

I will take no responsibility for the naming as I am sure my brother was responsible for these. He was brilliant.

This time of year I think of them both often. Perhaps because we are in the middle of the first Hannukah without kids home and the holiday seems so quiet. Or maybe it is because a blustery winter day like today reminded me of Nana Julie’s kitchen, with it’s Dentyne in the cabinet – both red and green, no one liked the green – and this cookie jar on the counter. The counter tops had this great 1950s boomerang formica and there was always a Pyrex glass coffee pot on the stove to boil water.

When she died I took very few things from her house, but this cookie jar was one of them. It was always filled with Fig Newtons, and they were ALWAYS just a little stale. It was not until I was grown that I knew that Fig Newtons were supposed to be soft. I still sort of miss the stale ones.

We kids loved that kitchen. My grandparents lived close by, and near the beach, so we spent many of our childhood weekends at their house. I cannot even imagine how many cases of Fig Newtons and Dentyne we must have polished off through the years. And now that I think of it I am not sure if she ever had any other cookies or candy in the house. I AM sure we did not care one bit.

As a young adult I was fortunate to still have the Nana’s in my life. They were close; they called each other ‘sister’. I feel so very fortunate to have had them for so long.

Nana Julie’s solution to any problem was to make a cup of tea and then sit down and talk about it.

This afternoon it was chilly, I was losing my motivation and I had this undying craving for Fig Newtons and a cup of tea. There was something so very comforting about that snack. As if she were right there in the room with me.

I suppose she was. Perhaps they both were.

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November 29, 2010 · 11:22 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Love Drop

It’s called micro-giving. A lot of people giving a little can make a big difference. Great concept. Easy to do. And it can change lives.

Nate St. Pierre from ItStartsWith.Us made a commitment to change the world. Yep, that’s right.

Change.

The.

World.

And change he has. He is committed to making a difference in the lives of people in need. His latest project is Love Drop. Check out the link. It is really simple to make a difference. The idea is ‘spend a dollar, change a life.’

Cool.

He has even found a way to make this into a consulting gig for himself to help companies with their own initiatives.

He can tell you about it a lot better than I can. The first video is about Love Drop. The second tells you more about ItStartsWith.Us.

I could be in love.

(fyi, they are not a non-profit so the donations are not tax-deductible, but the concept is still quite unique)

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November 22, 2010 · 10:57 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – If these walls could talk

Home. It’s more than just a house. Sometimes it is not even the ‘right’ house. Certainly not the dream house. But definitely home. With its drafty windows, ancient kitchen and not enough space… I still take comfort within these walls.

This is the place where the kids came home from the hospital and now come home from college. Where I walked the floors with them as teething, croupy, bronchitis babies and walked the floors again alone waiting to hear that garage door open when they started to drive.

And now this house – that has been so quiet these past months – is starting to come back alive with laundry and the smell of bacon. One kid home, first with a stomach virus and then a with her boyfriend. (21-year-olds get better quickly). And the other kid will be home before Tuesday comes to a close.

Not only have my children been gone, but their friends have been missed almost as much. I cannot wait for the door to open to those man-boys who love yodels and hug me till I almost fall over. Who initial the fruit and leave notes in the cup cakes and whose humor keeps me laughing all night long. I long for a foyer full of big sneakers and the shouting of video games in the basement. I can’t wait to have a late night kitchen full of  young women who want to bake and hear all the plans of the lives they will soon enter when they graduate. I am thrilled to line this house with air mattresses and make breakfast for the masses.

There is now life in rooms that since the summer laid silent. And if these walls could talk they would tell the tales of a family that has grown up here. The years seem to echo in these walls, and as I walk through them things catch my eye that make me smile. For instance, the photo above brings me back 20 years. That would be a drip of Baby Tylenol on the wall in my daughter’s room. We have painted it twice since then, but it would appear that Tylenol trumps Benjamin Moore and it keeps bleeding through. It is a reminder of the strong will she had as a baby that serves her so well as a young woman.

If these walls could talk they would tell you that maybe this family never got to upgrade their house, but they have certainly built themselves a warm, solid place filled with love that they can always call home.

To my beautiful kids: don’t believe what they say…. You can ALWAYS go home again.

Happy Thanksgiving all. May you and your families feel at home no matter where you may be. And may your turkey not be pink when you carve it.

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November 15, 2010 · 8:50 pm

Time To Cry Tuesday – Four for Twenty

It is a bittersweet fact that as your kids grow, the time you spend as a family shrinks. If you have done your job well, their lives are full. If you are lucky, yours are as well.

We are four people with very full lives. Not one of us is the type to be idle or feel lonely. We have a great extended family, many friends and rich lives. We work hard and play hard.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Ok, so that is all academic. And though it is true on some level, after 21 years of being a family unit, you crave that time when you can be together. And you learn to appreciate the moments for what they are… fleeting and precious.

This weekend we visited our kids at college. If you don’t follow this blog regularly, my kids are away at school together as a freshman and a senior.

They love it. I love it more.

Parent’s weekend = fly. drive. eat. reverse. repeat.

But for twenty precious minutes, just the four of us sat on the couch in my daughter’s apartment and were simply US.

In all caps.

Nothing special was said. (oh except when my son told us about his human sexuality class and said he now knows more about the vagina than he ever cared to know – now that is something you rarely hear from a 18-year-old boy) There were no real heavy parenting moments. We just WERE. (again in caps)

And to me, there is nothing better on this earth than a little time with just us four…

even if it was only for twenty.

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November 8, 2010 · 11:02 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Time Travel, which direction would you choose?

Nope, I have not been time traveling. But I have been thinking about it lately after someone posted this question on facebook the other day:

If you could time travel and you could only choose one, would you go back or forward?

I am going to give a few more parameters and then I am going to put this out there in the comments and add in a little poll just for fun.

1. If you go back you can take people with you.

2. If you go forward you will not have the ability to take back any information for financial gain. Sorry, no winning lotto numbers. I need to remove the financial piece to make it a viable choice. Since that is making you all rather cranky I will let you take people with you into the future as well.

Me? I would want to go back. Having my kids in college, I would love to go back to one of those Sunday morning brio trainfests with my son and REALLY appreciate his undying love for building those tracks in a figure eight. Sit and color all afternoon on a rainy day, or play with perler beads with my daughter. Or bathe my babies and smell their hair one more time when they are wrapped in a towel. Or be 17 and jump in the car for an impromptu road trip. I would love to see my grandparents again, and have them meet my kids all grown up. Be a camper again!! Oh what I would not give for one more summer in the adirondaks.

Relax, this is not some old person’s pondering on the past. This is a go back and really taste it all for a little while. Stop and smell the roses, the coffee, the ocean and everything else in between. And honestly, if there is something unpleasant in my future, I would rather not know. Equally – if not more so – if there is something amazing which I would prefer to believe, I want to be surprised.

Ok you lurking commenters, come on out of the woodwork and give me your thoughts. At the very least, weigh in on the poll.

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November 1, 2010 · 10:24 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Cure Chordoma (update 2)

Artwork: Scott Migden

A young man loses a valiant fight. His world grieves. There are no words.

I will quote but a few, gleaned from his peers:

Courage.

Grace.

Honor.

Compassion.

Perseverance.

Insightful.

Inspiration.

Brother.

Pride.

UPDATE 2 TO POST (an evolving project):

During the years that this family Lived (with a capital L) through the horror of this disease, there was a very special organization that helped them through. Friendsofkaren.org provides emotional, financial, and advocacy for children with life-threatening illnesses and their families, in order to help keep them stable, functioning, and able to cope. This organization made a huge difference in the lives of the entire family. If you are touched by this story and feel it in your hearts to honor this remarkable young man, you can donate here in memory of Tyler Seaman.

As always, The Chordoma Foundation continues to fight the fight for a cure every day. Their mission is is to improve the lives of chordoma patients by rapidly developing effective treatments and ultimately a cure for this devastating disease. They too, are a charity of choice for this family. You can read more about this disease here. If you so choose, Tyler’s family each has a fundraising page on their sight. You can donate through his mom here, his dad here and his brother here.

What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through?

A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through.

Just a box of rain,

wind and water

Believe it if you need it, if you don’t just pass it on

Sun and shower,

wind and rain

In and out the window like a moth before a flame

And it’s just a box of rain, I don’t know who put it there,

Believe it if you need it, or leave it if you dare.

And it’s just a box of rain, or a ribbon for your hair;

Such a long, long time to be gone, and a short time to be there.

– Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh


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October 26, 2010 · 1:13 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Words of Wisdom

Hug your kids.

Make good choices.

If it is not broken, don’t break it.

No place is ever as far away as it feels.

Quality. Speed. Price. Pick two.

Don’t eat yellow snow. (this one was for levity)

If you feel it, tell them.

If it’s not so nice, keep it to yourself.

When doing your best isn’t enough… tough, it is your best.

Age is irrelevant.

The best way out is always through.

Sometimes you just need to cook and clean. (unless you are Wendy)

Cry when you need to (and because it’s Tuesday).

Laugh because otherwise what is the point?

 

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