Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

March 1, 2010 · 9:07 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – 24.4

If you know me, you would know I am a not much of a sports fan living in the land of sports fanatics. My husband will watch, or play for that matter, any sport on earth. I call him game boy, affectionately of course. My kids are major college basketball and football fans. Some of my closest friends, men and women, are rabid athletes and spectators. One of my girlfriends even started this sports website for people just like myself; sports indifferent women who need to know enough to survive in at least a basic conversation of sports current events.

Of course I have been a major fan when my kids played sports. I have learned to have an affection for basketbal, field hocky and soccer through them. And when they suffered defeat I grieved right along with them. They fall and we bleed.

But there is one professional sport that I have always loved to watch. BC (before children) we had Rangers season tickets and I would scream in The Garden with the best of them chanting to a good Potvin sucks. There is something about the speed and finesse of that sport that I always got a charge out of.

Ahhhhh, you say, the post title: 24.4 – now you get it! If you were one of the 27.6 people who watched the final Olympic hockey game between Canada and the USA, that number makes a whole lot of sense. If you have just crawled out from under a rock, Zach Parise scored a tying goal with 24.4 seconds left in regulation time, throwing the game into a 4 on 4 overtime. This entire game was probably the most exciting hockey I have ever watched. What a pleasure to watch a clean hockey game. We screamed so loud during the game the dog left the room. I swear I had chest pains (relax Mom, that is just an expression).

AP Photo

Sadly, the glory of the 24.4 was short lived when Sidney Crosby shot a goal past Ryan Miller 7:40 into overtime. Talk about the agony of defeat. I could not help but think about Ryan Miller’s mom at that moment (sorry I am still a girl even if I do sound all sports macho in this post).

Kudos to the Canadian team on taking the gold in their national sport on home ice. They are a lovely country, a good neighbor and were wonderful hosts for the Games. If we had to lose to anyone I am glad it was them.

But again, to Ryan Miller’s mom, my heart goes out to you babe.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 22, 2010 · 8:48 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – My Spot

If you are lucky, you have a spot in your home where you can go to just BE. This is mine. Right there in the corner of that couch is where I can park my weary bones with a book or the paper and stretch out in the sun. I lay there and all the stresses and aggravations of the week disappear. Late at night when I cannot sleep, I find myself there. I suppose I simply take comfort in it’s familiarity. There is something about the peace in that spot that is like no other. This particular shot even features the beautiful Valentine’s flowers from my dad (thanks daddio-sir), and they are still alive a week later.

This room used to be a screened in porch with wicker furniture before we renovated. In both incarnations, the space holds such sweet memories for me. In that very same spot sat a wicker couch where I nursed my babies. In later years the floor was littered with legos and blocks, crayons and pipe cleaners; all the makings of a day at home with young children. There used to be a window between this room and the living room where the kids would put on puppet shows and ‘entertain’ us till we dozed off.

If ever a space held the power of a family, it would be this one. Within those walls I feel that power and I realize how lucky I am. Quite a few times we attempted to move from this house. (ok, maybe that is an understatement, let’s just say every 5 years we tortured our poor realtor and then never pulled the trigger) Yes, it got a bit tight, sure I wanted a new kitchen or a bigger family room. Yeh, it would have been great to have a master bath. But what I would have lost would have been the ability to sit in that space and soak in all the memories we have created here.

And honestly, looking back, I think I would have left a piece of me there that I could never get back.

Oh, and of course there is only one thing that makes that space one step more special to me. And that would be…

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 15, 2010 · 5:29 pm

No Time to Cry – Fat Tuesday

Ok, I admit it. I have fallen hopelessly in love. No, don’t worry, I am not leaving my adorable husband. This love affair is with ‘Nawlins, my friends. And what better day to blog about it from the rooftops, if you will, than on Fat Tuesday? So for this week, Time to Cry Tuesday will be replaced with No Time, in celebration of Mardi Gras.

If you have been following along here at i could cry, you would know that I have become quite infatuated with all things New Orleans. Hating to be cliché and ride the post-Superbowl wave, but timing is everything. At the same time that the Saints took center stage I visited The Big Easy for the first time. And I am still trying to figure out how I could live 50(ouch) years without ever visiting a place that is so aligned with my essence.

The season of New Orleans has come, and who deserves it more. The spirit of the place has survived one of the worst natural disasters on American soil, and it still comes bubbling up, sticking it’s tongue out with a big wide drunken grin screaming ‘ain’t nobody gonna beat dem Saints – who dat, who dat!”

When we visited, the streets could spontaneously break out into song and a turn down a little alleyway could bring us upon the most spectacularly off beat gallery. A place truly built on art and music, this town is irreverent, ballsy, and quirky. And even better, it seems to not put all that much value on botox, brands or bank accounts. Um, does this sound like anyone to you guys? Are you starting to see the resemblance?

This past Saturday night we had a blast at the 4th Annual Nolafunk Mardi Gras Ball at Le Poissin Rouge on Bleeker Street. We went to see Bonerama perform but loved Tab Benoit as well. I am sure Big Sam’s Funky Nation was just as– well – funky, but a few hours of 95° heat, dancing, singing and crowds was enough for us.

I stood near the stage with those horns blowing, behind the world’s oldest hippie, the costumed characters marching through the crowds, feeling like this mass of humanity was one big living breathing party organism and it was impossible to not fall madly in love. Somewhere around the second chorus of Aiko I lost my voice and could not care less.

The thing about the New Orleans culture is that it is all-inclusive. The crowd at this show was not one of posers, or rockers, blues guys or jazz aficianodos, these people were not skinny or fat, young or old… this was a crowd of EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. There is something about that music that brings everyone together in one place for one reason and one reason only – to have an amazing time. To love life even when it sucks. To get out there and feel the joy of the music no matter what your troubles are when you leave. Not just survivors, but more soldiers of feel good.

I suppose if I were asked what city I would most want to be, I might just have to say New Orleans.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 8, 2010 · 6:05 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – My Little Man

If you are lucky, there is a little man in your life. I have one and he is the light of my days; surely in the warm weather when he is outside bright and early. I start my mornings with a visit from him. Perhaps he is more interested in seeing my dog, but he always gives me a big smile and it is all I can do to stop from biting his little face off. (ok, a bit much)

Ryan is the son and grandson of my dear neighbors. His mom and aunt actually babysat for my kids back in the day; lots of history. We like to think of them as the Irish side of our family. We are blessed to have neighbors that we adore.

Saturday morning I was getting ready to go out when I got a phone call from his grandfather, “Ryan has something for you, can you meet us at the garage door in a couple of minutes?” I opened the door and there he was with a plate of cupcakes for Gary, Danny, Mel (who would have eaten the whole plate if given the option) and I. Look at those little hands, now imagine how adorable his face is (sorry, I don’t post other people’s little kids here, but believe me his face is as cute as his hands).

He was so very proud of himself. Standing there with a grin from ear to ear. He is the best poser I know. And I could not help but think how incredibly lucky I am to have this little man in my life. He loves me unconditionally (as long as I am with my dog, anyway), always has a smile for me and tells a story like no other. No matter how rough a day I am having, a visit from Ryan makes me realize what life is all about. His zest for everything, his 5-year-old humor and mild obsession with landscapers is somewhat contagious (well maybe not the landscaper thing).

And the best part? He has a little sister who I plan on winning over just the same.

Thanks for the cupcakes Ry!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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February 1, 2010 · 10:58 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – It truly is a small world

We often take for granted how small the world has become. Our kids consider the technology that enables constant communication to be a given. Ichat, videochat, skype, texting, IM, bbm, facebook, twitter; these all make email seem like snail mail to them. They lose their ability to disappear but I think the trade-off seems worth it to them.

Access. All the time. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

This post is about the good. Ok, so if you read me regularly you are not surprised that I would focus on the positive aspect of technology. But as a parent in the year 2010, with a daughter situated quite comfortably in Spain, technology is the greatest friggin’ thing on this earth.

Last night we had our first video chat with Jana since she left almost 2 weeks ago. You might imagine that this would have been about really important stuff. Well it was, sort of. For instance, we got to see the way her bathroom light turns on ‘all freaky’. And then she whispered ‘the boy’ into the computer screen as her spanish roommate came by and asked her a question. We got to wave hello to her other roommates and get a tour of her apartment. We talked about everything and nothing with her. Better than IM or texting, this was my kid with all her subtleties and nuances; her humor and expressions. The essence of who she is.

On the laptop screen.

On the dining room table.

As if she was there.

Now I know this is no big revelation. For the past few years this has become commonplace. But damn! I am a mom with a kid on the other side(ish) of the world and I can sit in the dining room and bullshit with her as if she were right here.

And it’s free!

C’mon, how cool is that?

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 25, 2010 · 11:14 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – All grown up… almost

Friday morning at nine o’clock she is far away
Waiting to keep the appointment she made…

– John Lennon & Paul McCartney

If you have been reading along you know that my daughter left for semester abroad last week. I cannot put into words how wonderful it was to have her home this last month. The teenager that went off to college is long gone and a lovely, grounded, charming young woman came home in her place. She is all grown up.

Well, almost.

The day she was leaving I came upstairs to check on her last minute packing. There I found her carry-on in the hallway. And tucked away in between the hair mousse and the laptop, strapped in tight, was Chetley. Her main man since birth. Yes we realize ‘he’ is dressed in pink, many shades and patterns of it as a matter of fact as I have reconstructed his body on more than one occasion in the past 20 years.

If you know Jana personally, you surely know the Chetmeister. He has been through it all with her, the good and the bad. He sat perched on her bed at camp, from the first day as a nine-year-old to the last day as Senior Group Leader. When she was  a frightened five-year-old going into the hospital for neurosurgery to ‘get her neck fixed’, good old Chet went with her and sported a bandage on the back of his neck till her stitches came out. He proudly went off to college with her… this bear is a Badger through and through. And if I am not mistaken, Jew that he is, I think he even followed along on Birthright to Israel last summer. All that considered I don’t know why I imagined he would stay behind while she embarked on the adventure of her lifetime.

I truly had this whole going abroad thing under control all along. Gary and I are both so happy that she is able to have this experience. Many parents asked me if I was sad or nervous about her going. I am surely neither. I love her wings and the fact that she loves to use them.

But standing there at the top of the stairs, hours before we left for the airport, the sight of that teddy bear with his arm around the laptop just about did me in. Jana then and now just flashed before my eyes. Right in front of the door she slammed so often as a preteen that the latch is loose, sat the evidence that she was all grown up; and not completely – all at one moment.

They call them comfort items. The stuffed animals or blankets that children form an attachment to and use to self-soothe when they are young. Why has no one invented a comfort item for the moms when they find themselves in a moment like this.

Oh, that’s right, they call that VODKA!

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 11, 2010 · 11:39 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Miep Gies Dies at 100


Hero. A four letter word that seems too small to define this magnificent woman. As a Jew I am speechless in light of her courage. As a human being I am inspired to consider what is possible when character and morality outweigh fear.

Miep Gies defied Nazi occupiers and hid Anne Frank for two years. She was one of the non-jews who supplied food, books and hope to Anne, her family and four other jews. She was also responsible for saving Anne’s notebooks and papers – amongst them, her famous diary. Gies refused to read these in the spirit of preserving the teenager’s privacy. Wow! (a little levity, this woman was a non-Jew, hence not a Yenta).

When Anne died at 15 in the Bergen-Belsen camp in 1945, Gies gave the diary to the only survivor of the Frank family – Anne’s father Otto. After the diary was published Gies continually promoted causes of tolerance. A modest woman, she showed humility in light of her heroic actions, telling the AP before her 100th birthday that many had done the same or far more dangerous work. She believed she was only doing her human duty. At a time when genocide was the norm, this woman chose to be a human being in spite of the madness around her.

Wow again.

I like to think that Miep Gies was rewarded the gift of  such a long life because of her selfless behavior. For anyone who is starting to doubt the power of character, take a look at how this woman lived her life and you can’t help but have renewed faith.

RIP, Miep Gies. May you inspire generations to come with the way in which you lived your life.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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January 4, 2010 · 8:41 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Say a little prayer

basketballwithmike

Ok, grab a tissue now because this one brought my whole family to tears.

High School sports. High stakes in the lives of young athletes who dedicate themselves to being the best they can be in order to play their game of choice in college. They switch schools, travel endlessly and make any sacrifice asked of them in order to realize their dream. They never quit and they never say die.

However, the tricky thing about sports is how in a split second the game can change. Not the game, but the GAME. The whole ball of wax sometimes hinges on a moment in time. This weekend we witnessed one such moment. Our boy (not our genetic one, but the one we choose) came down wrong on his ankle and was carried off the basketball court. In those minutes after the injury the shock, fear and anger was so thick you could cut it with a knife. And that was me, can you imagine how he and his real parents felt.

I have written about this young man before when his team won the state championship. (I recommend that you click that last link as his story is a great one – don’t worry, I will wait).

I am happy to report that with any luck the injury is hopefully only a sprain. But the pain in the heart runs way deeper with the realization that you just never know. I am a fatalist. And a coper. And that is fine when I am dealing with my own stuff, but when it comes to one of the kids – not so much. When you see a young person work so hard for something you want to see them succeed. And yes, the coping piece is a big lesson, but not today, k?

He is a trooper. Right after the ER visit he was sitting at the dinner table pounding cupcakes and cracking jokes, trying his best to suck it up when we all knew how hard this was for him. BTW, We were quite impressed with his skill of eating a cupcake whole in one bite. (oh to be 16!)

So, on this Time to Cry Tuesday, I want all of you out there who have ever had a dream – whatever your religious persuasion (and even you atheists) – say a little prayer for our guy to get back on that court again soon and play his heart out…

before he drives his mother absolutely crazy.

(had to use this picture again because I simply love it. The one on the right is my son)

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

 

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December 21, 2009 · 11:04 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – 55 precious minutes from the past

These days we take for granted the ease in which we document and share our memories. With digital cameras, smartphones and flip video we can share a moment in real-time with our entire network of friends and family without giving it much thought. Our children do not know a time when photos and videos were not shared before the sun rose on another day.

But back in 1974, just one lone Yale film student was cool enough to have a Super 8 camera at the summer camp I have written about so lovingly before. And that super(8), cool guy just happened to be my husband’s co-counselor and dear friend. As luck would have it, this Time to Cry Tuesday happens to be his birthday. So, Steve, this one is for you.

After thirty-five years, most probably buried in a box at his parent’s house, Steve uncovered an artifact like no other. The very Super 8 film that he shot in the summer of 1974. He burned a bunch of DVDs of that most incredible piece of history and shipped it back east to those of us that he knew would love it the most. Thanks to Dr. Jimmy as courier, we are now in possession of a copy of these 55 precious minutes from the past.

For those who have not read my gushing posts about this very special sleepaway camp, it is a place where 3 generations of my family have attended (yes, my mom went there). So did my husband, his siblings, my cousin as well as both our kids. The friends we made there are counted amongst some of our closest friends today, and their children are friends with ours. Ok, so my daughter’s boyfriend is the son of one of them, too. There it is all out in the open. One big happy family.

We watched this amazing footage with our son the other night. His love for the place is as strong as ours. And there, in silence as there was no soundtrack on Super 8, were the younger versions of ourselves and people we have known for all these years. To see the place in action, as it was back then, was such a gift. Not just to ourselves, but to our son as well. He hears the stories and knows the way we feel about the place, but for him to see that history come to life was such a joy. There we were, his age! Seeing not what has changed so much as what has remained exactly the same – the essence of the place. The traditions. The love. The complete and utter freedom to just BE. And do it with passion.

This young man of a generation that documents every move it makes stopped and sat in awe of a generation that was so very lucky to have that one lone Yale film student who took the time to painstakingly piece together that carefree summer for all eternity. In his own words:

I can’t believe it’s been hidden as if in the Grateful Dead vault for 35 years. But as that was my last summer of camp, it’s frozen in time for me there. I remember the fall of ’74… I spent three months cutting the thin little slivers of Regular 8 film on a tiny film viewer and splicing them together with tape.

Thank you, dear birthday boy, for giving us all back that magical summer, and letting us share it with our children.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visitLeaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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December 14, 2009 · 10:00 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – People Who Need People

Ok, maybe the Barbra Streisand reference is a bit out of character, but hey, it’s not like I am quoting Barry Manilow or anything (my regrets to my friends who are Manilow fans, you know who you are and I love you in spite of your questionable musical tastes. Ok, perhaps one or two songs are acceptable).

I digress, for a change. Back to the subject of this post. If you know me you would probably describe me as fiercely independent, or at least a social recluse. I enjoy my time alone. I work alone, walk alone, sometimes I even talk alone but that is for another diagnosis post. Bottom line, I am not one that considers most activities to be shared ones. I am rarely lonely even though I spend long stretches of time by myself. This could explain the whole basement thing.

But, and this is a big but (not a big butt, thank you), the people in my life are extremely dear to me. Without them I would be toast. I take relationships very seriously and cherish those who have made a huge impact on my life. This past week was a busy one, and during it I was fortunate to spend time with people who have made my life richer in so many ways I could not begin to count. Without them my life would be so very different. Sometimes the road is not the one you expect, but in the end you always wind up Here. And wherever that is, it is where you are supposed to be.

This Time to Cry Tuesday is my way of saying that life is often hard – and short – but when you know you have your people, you have more than you will ever need.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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