Tag Archives: love

Time to Cry Tuesday – Loss and the 300th post

Yes, this my 300th post. Hard to believe and usually a cause for celebration in the land of blog. But today I am here to write about loss.

And oddly what I have gained. 

It is hard to explain to those who are not part of this world of blogging and Twitter what a true community has been formed through a medium that would seem to be highly impersonal. 

I come from a generation where the openness and sharing of this world can be a bit overwhelming. For my age group privacy was cherished above all and there is a thread of paranoia about having one’s life out in the open. This makes the world of the mom blogosphere a bit foreign at times. But this week, once again, I have seen the power of the social web and what it can do for those in need.

I am fortunate to live in a community that takes care of it’s own in times of trouble. I have known this kind of support more than once and I am in awe when I see that sentiment replicated on the internet – amongst strangers! 

Beyond comprehension, 2 young babies publicly lost their lives this week.

The first, Maddie Sphor was the 17-month-old daughter of a fellow Silicon Valley Mom Blogger. This darling of the internet whose mom, Heather, chronicled her difficult pregnancy, premie birth and fight to thrive has been followed by many through her blog and twitter. This baby’s infectious smile has haunted us all as we try to accept the tragedy of her sudden death. Within hours funds were set up to help the family with expenses, over $30,000 was raised for March of Dimes and walks in her name were organized. 

One by one, twitter avatars turned purple in Maddie’s memory to show support for her family. These past few days those haunting purple avatars have shown me how much I have gained from the experience of the social web. 

As if this were not awful enough, just days later Thalon Myers, the 4-month-old son of another momblogger lost his life. 

The unthinkable. 

And yet from all misery comes good. The legacy of these families will live on as evidence that humanity is not lost.

As proven during the tragic plane crash that almost cost the Nielson’s their lives, and the overwhelming outpouring to find a kidney for The Domestic Diva‘s daughter, the social web shows us once again that we are made up not of nameless faces banging the keyboard.

We are all people. Sometimes acting more human than you could believe possible.

Love, prayers and thoughts to the Spohrs and  Myers families. May you find a shred of peace in knowing that the world grieves for your loss.

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Filed under communities, current events, loss

Time to Cry Tuesday – Lifelong Friends

watercolor_heart

I collect people.

Seriously. I have people in my life for decades. I always thought this was common, as my husband does too, but I have come to realize that most people are not fortunate enough to have friends in their lives that they have known since they were young.

Me? I still have my best friends from 7th grade. Three of them. I was late to the party as they have known each other since kindergarten. They are the place I go when the world is too much. Or when I want to laugh to the point of tears.

I can be 16 with them, when being 16 is completely out of the question because 4 of our collective 8 kids is older than that already. They will never tell me what I want to hear, but they will surely tell me what I need to.

There are code words and phrases that we share like a secret language – or twinspeak. Our own intimictionary of vocab that would have an outsider shaking their head trying to figure out what we are talking about.

Months can go by with little contact, no more than a passing “I would freak but i don’t have time” kind of conversation. But still our love for each other is undying.

The decades pass. We fall, we get up, we live to the point of tears and then we trudge on thinking that if we have to live one more day of this crazy life we will surely scream. Then we stop and spend some precious time together. And laugh so hard we forgot that was possible. 

That is when I realize I am the luckiest person on earth. Not one but three! Each of whom would drop everything at a moment’s notice to be THERE. Wherever and whatever THERE is. And believe me, THERE wears many costumes.

Three words for you girls:

Love. Love. Love.

(and no Ali, we did not have any fun without you this weekend ; )

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under friendship, relationships, teenagers, Uncategorized, women

Time to Cry Tuesday – Three Mugs

success_peace_loveWe have these three wonderful mugs in our house. I am not sure why we bought a set of only 3, but they strike such a beautiful balance that it seemed ok. 

Gary loves the shape of these mugs. He loves their size and how the handle is perfectly formed. Mostly he loves that he can drink his *earl gray with honey* in a mug big enough that he does not need a refill (anyone who has ever eaten with my husband is surely smiling at this comment). This drink is like a religious experience for him. 

I was quite sure he never looks at which mug he grabs. He only cares that it is one of these perfect sage green ones. As a little test I asked him tonight what the three green mugs said. “um, joy?” No sorry, hon. “peace and love?” good call. “happiness” forget it babe. Do you care which one you drink out of? “yeah,right!”

I bought them for both their form and their decoration. These three words seemed so perfect.

Success. Peace. Love.

I love words. I guess those of you who read me regularly know that. I have words pinned up to bulletin boards, etched in rocks, inlaid in mosaics, stuck to the fridge, you name it. There is something comforting in being surrounded by them. 

So it would seem fitting to drink out of a specific one of these word mugs as my mood changes. This makes sense if you are insane in the same way that I am.

Success. In these crazy economic times, especially after waking to the unsettling morning news, I drink my coffee out of  Success, figuring I need all the help that I can get.

Peace. During times of turmoil, both global and personal, I will reach for his mug and hope that it will calm me to drink from it. I usually drink tea from Peace

Love. When I miss my little girl or right after I watch my boy walk out the door as the man he is becoming, I drink from the Love mug. It reminds me how lucky I am to have built this beautiful family. 

In a world gone crazy, at a time when nothing seems within our control, it is nice to keep small rituals that feed your soul.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under Time to Cry Tuesdays

Time to Cry Tuesday – An Icon

Sorry, third time in as many weeks that I am posting about loss. However, this one is quite different.

Sunday I had the pleasure (yes pleasure!) of attending a memorial service for someone who helped shape the woman I am today.  Actually, not just me, but hundreds of women through the 60s and 70s. This woman, Alice Sternin, was the director of the summer camp I attended. I have posted about this idyllic place from my childhood before, as both my children are fortunate enough to share in the legacy.

I have never attended a service where there was as much laughter as tears. The essence of this woman was described by countless speakers. Everyone in the room shared the same memories of this tiny woman who was larger than life.

People traveled from all over the country. Family and friends spoke. One after another, stories were shared that sparked long forgotten memories for each one of us . When her famous lines were quoted, the entire room joined  in unison. Treasured camp songs were sung and tears were shed for the loss, not just of this woman, but the childhood jewel this perfect place had been for all of us.

My daughter has had the good fortune to have had this same experience. The following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Jana and her girls at the end of their last summer as campers. This sums up what this woman built. And her legacy will carry on long after she is gone.

You are so very lucky to have this piece of your life. Camp is something that you cannot put a label on. There are no words to describe how you feel when you are with your girls. How the sight of the lake and mountains fill your heart in a way that nothing else in this world truly can. The essence of camp is ingrained in each and every one of you. It is part of what makes you who you are, and believe me, who you will always be. We are all beyond lucky to know these feelings.

Leaving is never easy.  All these years later I still tear up as I walk out of camp and drink in one last moment of the place I love so much.

Never, NEVER, take this place for granted. Hold it close and it will never let you down.  

Today, as I sat with MY girls so many years later, I felt the full weight of those words.

Here’s to you Big Al! The toughest camp director in the East. With the biggest heart! You will be dearly missed, but rest easy, your legacy will never die.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog.

For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under friendship, Jana, loss, relationships, Time to Cry Tuesdays

Lucky 7s


Today is a very special day.

Today is my mom’s 77th birthday.

Oy, is she going to friggin’ kill me for letting you all know how old she is. But too bad, Ma, you deserve to have everyone wish you a happy, happy day.

I thought it would be a nice gift to share you with the internet – don’t worry, I bought you something too.

Internet, meet my mom. Mom, meet the internet. Don’t worry Mom, for the most part they are very nice people.

Ok here goes…

It is hard to put into words how special my mother is. Growing up she was the ultimate mom. She has taught me, by example, what it truly means to be a parent. She rarely lost her cool (except that thing she did with her lips when we really pissed her off). Our ultimate cheerleader, we were raised to believe we could accomplish anything we set our hearts and minds to. Now my brother, he was a peace of cake to raise. Me, well, if you have been reading this blog, do the math.

Her home was – and still is – always perfect. Growing up I had no idea a house could get dirty. (oh boy, did I learn differently when I had my own place). And she always had the most awesome ‘goodie basket’ (think devil dogs and twinkies). Her garden is her pride and joy and it is beautiful (even if one damn flower was the cause of her breaking a hip last year!).

She is tall, elegant, and as Jana tells her when she has wardrobe doubts, grandmothers always wear the appropriate thing wherever they go.

She has a supportive word for everyone, for some reason thinks ALL babies are cute – even the ugly ones – and has pictures of dozens of them on her fridge. (seriously, send her a baby picture, even if your kid is really funny-looking she will hang it up in one of those lucite magnet frames).

My mom has been no stranger to adversity and yet she rises above it all to live her life the only way she knows how:

lovingly…

to the point of tears! (go ahead, cry. you have the time).

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.

(now really internet, don’t you think there should be some major commenting here today?)

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Filed under aging parents, moms, Uncategorized