Category Archives: Time to Cry Tuesdays

September 27, 2011 · 3:00 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – T-shirt Wisdom

This past weekend we went to a gathering that I would best describe as The Field of Aging Hippies. Some were authentic hangers-on of a nostalgic era, others just dusted off their tie-dye for the occasion, still others were young enough to be second (and third) generations lovers of the culture and the freedom it represented. But mostly it was a group of people brought together with the common bond of loving a genre of music.

This was Jerryfest, Long Island style. In celebration of Jerry Garcia‘s birthday (which is oddly almost 2 months ago) a group of local bands were assembled to play the sound that simply made all that were there feel good. We thought it would be a fun way to spend an indian summer Sunday with some friends and the musicians were surprisingly amazing.

One look at the crowd and you could see that life had not been so good to some of them, while others were doing just fine but still had that soft spot in their hearts for their coming of age sound. All ages, all shapes and sizes and some of the best T-shirts I have seen in a long time.

My favorite is the one above. Gotta love a kid with the First Amendment on his back. This guy looked to have been in diapers or not even born when Jerry died, but he surely embodied the spirit of the band’s culture.

This next guy wore a perfect blend of 2 passions – you have to love the Grateful Jets shirt he was wearing. Deadheads and football, how much more All American can you get?

Now this guy I like to call the Bourgeois Deadhead. The ‘I loved The Dead in College and now I summer in my beach house and listen to the Grateful Dead on Sirius/XM’ sort of guy.

And when all else fails, you can always let your freak flag fly like this guy. No matter the outfit, or the walk of life, the beauty of a day like this was a crowd of seemingly unrelated souls coming together to share a little joy.

What could be bad about that?

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September 19, 2011 · 10:56 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Same As It Ever Was

This past weekend we went to the Dave Matthews Caravan at Randall’s Island. This was the show that was supposed to be on Governor’s Island the weekend that Irene hit.

There was a sense of gratitude amongst the crowd for the rescheduled show. DMB fans are a mellow lot. Walking the grounds, taking in the essence of the place, both Gary and I felt the exact same way. This vibe was – to quote David Byrne – same as it ever was.

The vendors sold the same beads, crystals, t-shirts and leather crafts that they did 30+ years ago. People were dressed pretty much the way they were when we were younger. The crowd still came to hear the music, hang with friends and be outside to soak in what makes them feel alive. Sure we were the people that a young couple came up to inquiring where the medical tent was; hell, we were the parents for g-d sake! But for the most part if I closed my eyes I could have been my daughter’s age.

And with her standing next to me, sharing the music, I was content as I could be. In these times when things move so fast and nothing ever seems to ever stay… the same, it was damn nice to feel like things were…

Same As It Ever Was.

 

 

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September 12, 2011 · 11:01 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – The Purging Hoarder

Ok, I admit it, I am pretty sure I am a hoarder. My friend Karen tells me admitting it is half the battle.

So here is the thing; I am not the type of hoarder that has 50 cats or collects scraps of string till you can’t open a closet without being tied up in a web. I surely do not have dressers full of restaurant napkins or every pair of shoes since 1979. But I do tend to ‘keep stuff’. You know, because you never know when you will need it.

So, in blows hurricane Irene, and with it she takes away our power and decides to dump a nice helping of water in our sump pump that has no power to get rid of it. And there sits my office on the other side of that mess. Long story short, it became time to purge the contents of my office, take apart the oversized furniture and rip up the rug.

Although daunting at first, this has become not only cathartic, but almost enjoyable. Closing in on my birthday (yes,I am finally turning 40 : ) I have had the joy of finding long lost items and sentimentalities that have taken me on a journey back to long forgotten places. Here are the top five highlights, in no particular order.

1. A Diane Arbus book with an inscription from my best friend from camp on my 16th birthday! We have lost touch and it prompted me to find her. We have been writing and catching up on each other’s lives. As she quoted, ” Geography is the enemy of friendship.” I am trying to fix that.

2. Countless pieces of artwork and writing from my kids. Jana always says she wishes she and Danny could hang out with little Danny and little Jana.

This week we did. With a ‘You are the Best Mom in the Universe’ card, diaries, handmade books, photos and the ever famous Venus Williams report with the picture above. (note the A… great content and priceless drawing).

3. My childhood stuffed animal. (yes there are days I am tempted to hug it and rock back and forth in the corner.)

4. A book of drawings and poetry that I wrote in 1971… yeh, it was pretty groovy.

5. A missing case of my favorite CDs that I thought I left in a rental car in Wisconsin 2 years ago.

I still have a lot of stuff, and a lot more to go through. But I am starting to realize that even if I am giving away 10 boxes of books, the ones that stayed behind on the shelves are more important to me than ever; especially the children’s books.

I will never be a minimalist. I keep things that remind me of people, easier times, places, experiences. But I am trying my best to pair them down.

Hey does anybody need a pair of purple fuzzy dice?

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August 15, 2011 · 10:14 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Ants, Leaks and Static on the Phones

It would seem that I have been having a smackdown with my house of late. And I am losing horribly.

For the past few weeks, along with the help of my exterminator, I have been battling a never-ending war with ants. They are determined to taunt me. Everywhere. In the bottom of the (ancient) dishwasher. In the corners of the bathroom. All over the buffet area in the dining room (thankfully after I served brunch). The last one was of horror movie proportions.

Sunday morning I, like many of my fellow Northeasterners, awoke to a deluge that could not under any circumstances end well. There was the usual water in the sump pump – almost overflowing before we were able to drain it out. Then the requisite spots in the basement that no french drain could hold. But the living room couch?! As my daughter said, “This is a two story house, how could the ceiling on the first floor be leaking?” (some weird gutter physics I do not care to go into).

And then there were the phones. Yes folks, my two lines are crossing and the static is unbearable. The online check from Verizon told me it is not on their lines (yeh, right) and lucky me… they are on strike! They would be happy to schedule me for service…

on September 16th!

But none of this really matters all that much. For Sunday morning, as I jumped between killing ants and chasing leaks, I was preparing to have my whole family at my table for brunch. Brother, sister-in-law, nephews, (and a girlfriend), cousin dog, husband, daughter, son, mother and father.

Honestly, who really cares about a house that taunts you when you can have a day like that?

A friend read me a line from a book the other day and told me she was sure I could have written it. I loved it so much I started to read the book. (Three Stages of Amazement, by Carol Edgarian – if you are interested) This was the line, “It was life, this crazy life, and if you didn’t laugh it broke you. It broke you anyway, but it was better if you laughed. 

Sort of sounds like the original premise of this blog, doesn’t it?

BTW, if you need to reach, me try my cell. And if you are wondering what to buy me for my birthday, a nice big can of Raid and a wetvac would be lovely.

 

 

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August 8, 2011 · 10:57 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Put me in coach

Last week I received an email from the famous Thread. If you are not familiar with these fabulous friends of mine you can read about them here. If you are not inclined to read more than one post from me today, in a nutshell, these are my college friends. And let’s just say I am way out of college! But they have remained my friends forever and we share our lives on an email thread that has been going for years.

Last week, one of our own hit the heights of paternal joy. Not many get to experience this one, and we are all happy to live vicariously through him.

After the email went out I am pretty sure I heard a collective parental gasp and sigh all around the country. Thanks, Uncle Neal (no, I do not know why we call him that) for sharing the joy of one of your oldest friends with us. It went something like this:

Congrats to David Goldschmidt (Goldy). His son, Paul, was called up to play in his first Major League game for the Diamondbacks last night in SF. (He and his wife were there). He is 24 and got married last year to his college sweetheart. I have met him over the years and he has grown into a really fine man. Google him. He is quite impressive.

Wishing him all the best of luck and success in the big leagues. His dad was pretty good in Little League, too.

By the way, the kid had a hit in his first big league at bat! Not too shabby!!

As if that were not thrilling enough, the next night he HIT A HOME RUN!

After all the congrats were sent and the proud dad sent us a quick note telling us What a Long Strange Trip it’s Been, Uncle Neal caused yet another cross-nation tear-jerker with this one:

Goldy, I still get to call you Goldy, right? Ernie, (Dave’s father or as I affectionately call him, Mr. G) must be out of his mind. I remember, in your old house in Natick, your dad had a photo of Ted Williams hanging in the den above the TV. Who knew that 40 years later, you would have a son that would deserve to have his photo up on that wall!

Look, I am not a big baseball fan. And I (sadly) have lost touch with this friend over the years. But last week we were all family again. And one of our own had hit the bigs. All of us parents who drove carpools to sporting events, spent late nights in the ER with sprained ankles (and worse), raced home from work to catch games that ultimately were rained out or our kids were benched, knew the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat if only on the Varsity level… we all watched as our friend got the biggest payoff of all times.

His

kid

made

it!

And there is nothing better than sitting in those stands watching your child realize his dream.

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August 2, 2011 · 12:12 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – There’s no place like camp

This sign hangs on the owner’s house as you enter camp. It just about says it all. It is hard to explain this to someone who has never been fortunate enough to find the kind of connection my family has found to this place. I have written about it before, more than once, actually. But I always seem to find just one more way of articulating a place that has meant as much to me as any other in my life.

It’s not just the camp, although it is sort of the sacred ground of both my own childhood and that of my kids. But the surrounding area is so amazing. There is a clarity about being there. The way the air smells. How the water feels. The chill of the early morning and the hot sun of midday. The stars at night. There is nothing like the great expanse of a starry night in those mountains. It is a sight I will never tire of.

No cell service. Winding roads through beautiful mountains. Clear lakes. It is all so untouched. Or as untouched as it gets these days. Back when we were kids there were party lines and no new houses. Cell hot spots and new homes have sprung up in the closest town, but not a lot. For the most part the place looks very similar to the way it did 30 years ago. What a gift, to be able to visit the scene of your childhood with so little changed. There are no words to explain that elation.

And the best part. The part that I will never tire of being thankful for, is that my kids know the exact same feeling. Their bond may even be stronger. Not just because it is still so current, but because these times allow them to keep the link to all those people so effortlessly.

Life is long and camp is short, but if you are lucky, you can carry it with you till the day you check out.

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July 11, 2011 · 11:03 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – Summer

 

 

Summer.

There are certain moments in this season that take your breath away. The sheer simplicity of a vision like this in the early morning is one such moment. I walk in the early hours of the day, when the light is so beautiful it is sometimes hard to believe it is real. I used to walk with headphones but now I try to soak it all in; to enjoy the sound of the birds and the breeze.

The other day I brought my camera to help me focus in on the details. These berries embody the way the morning felt – one so ripe and slightly damaged, the other still maturing on the vine. All that lush greenery around them was the perfect backdrop.

Sometimes there are great rewards in living in the macro for a minute or two.

Gives perspective to the rest of the day.

Very out of the basement, indeed.

 

 

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June 28, 2011 · 12:48 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Old Friend on YouTube

There I was, winding down the night with a last perusal of Facebook when I stumbled upon a post from one of my craziest friends from college. (keep in mind I went to art school). He had linked to a video of an audition he had done for Discovery Channel.

Although I think this would make a great show, what struck me was not its TV-worthy value. It was more that I got to visit with him in his natural habitat, just as I remember him. This is the guy that was always doing things on a grand scale. A visit to his house could involve fire, blades, welding tools, heavy machinery, mud… anything extreme. If I recall, he bartered his rent for house renovations on an old farmhouse the last two years of college.

Never bored at Scott’s house.

And the best part? He has not changed one single bit. (although he has perfected the art of hammer juggling). 

Time and circumstance sometimes have a way of causing you to lose touch with those you loved the most. Friendships sometimes fade, not because you want them to… just because. In defense of social media – people can ebb and flow right back into your life. There is nothing better than the gift of seeing someone again.

Just as you remember them.

Watch this and I dare you  to tell me you are not jealous that I have a friend like this? And check out his work; he is wildly talented.

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June 20, 2011 · 10:59 pm

Time to Cry Tuesday – RIP Clarence Clemons

There are certain bands that feel like the soundtrack of your life. Everyone has them; the bands they grew up on. When you hear their songs it brings you back to those lazy days of your adolescence – hours on end spent listening to music in your friends’ rooms. Every note, every lyric burned into your brain for eternity, evoking those memories that you built your friendships on. For me these bands are woven into the fabric of who I am, what makes me feel like me.

For some reason, every time I hear early Springsteen, I am transported back to my friend Ali’s room. She must have been the first one to turn us all on to Bruce. All these years later I still never tire of those songs. They feel like home. Like friendship. Like my High School girls who were, and always will be, there for me no matter what. Fast forward to college, the sound of Springsteen will forever sound like a night at Neal’s house. Air guitar abounding, there was not a note we did not know.

And in the center of all those songs was The Big Man’s big sound – that sax that could cut right through you. When Clarence blew, we all sat back and felt it to our core. His sound was so distinct it felt like a vocal.

A loss shook through the land of rock ‘n roll this weekend when Clarence Clemons died. So here’s to Clarence, “the Minister of Soul, the Secretary of the Brotherhood, probably the next King of England” the biggest Big Man of them all! Of all his famous solos, Jungleland stands out as the ultimate example of his soulful power.

Sit back, close your eyes, and mourn the passing of one of the most beloved men in rock ‘n roll. RIP Clarence. Heaven is going to be rockin’ this week for sure!

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June 14, 2011 · 12:30 am

Time to Cry Tuesday – Laundry and Toilet Paper

I am so very fortunate to say that my family is whole for a few weeks. I have said this before but I never get tired of the feeling of laying my head down on the pillow knowing that both my kids – albeit no longer children – are sleeping in their own beds.

The window is short, but NEVER under appreciated. There is always too much laundry and not enough toilet paper and I love every moment of it.

We fall back into the usual banter:

Q. What’s for dinner?

A. I’m not up to that yet?

Q. Do we have rolls?

A. Nope, and while you are out picking them up can you get me a Starbuck’s iced latte (don’t forget the chocolate and cinnamon)

Q. Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?

A. No Mother.

Q. Be careful (upon leaving)

A. Yes Mother.

This mom thing, it’s like riding a bike!

All joking aside, in light of the very tragic disappearance of Lauren Spierer and her incredibly brave and dedicated parents, I do not spend one moment taking for granted how very fragile our lives are. Please join the effort anyway you can. Help these these parents find their beautiful daughter.

I am posting these links again this week. If you know or hear anything, speak up. If you can, donate. If you are in the area, help with the effort.

Official Website where you can make donations to help fund the search effort.

This page has been added as the official family page in reaction to false information and irrelevant comments on other pages. They are verifying info and request that there be no comments on the page.

Facebook group Missing: Lauren Spierer

Facebook event: Please help spread the word about Lauren Spierer’s disappearance!

Facebook profile page: Lauren Spierer missing

Facebook community page: Help find Lauren Spierer – Missing from Indiana Universtity

Follow the effort on twitter. And the twitter blog

Follow hashtags #LaurenSpierer, #FindLauren

Bloomington Police Tip Hotline: 1-812-339-4477

America’s Most Wanted: 1-800-CRIMETV

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