From Cremation to Abscess

There is something about those old Seinfeld episodes, or more recently Curb Your Enthusiasm or even Arrested Development; you wonder how the writers think up those crazy story lines.

Honestly, I would imagine almost all of them are based, at least loosely, on the writers’ own family archives. My family is no different.

Tonight I was lucky to have dinner with my aunt and uncle who are in town from Florida. Through the years we have always laughed at the stories that come up at our family dinner tables. It never fails that there will be a story about death… we are Jews after all. If not someone recently dying there is the perpetual care at the cemetery to complain about (what the hell is perpetual care, anyway?).

Tonight did not disappoint. The evening opened with a bizarre story about a deceased overweight family member and the amount of ashes his cremation produced (I know, ew!) and ended somewhere around a story surrounding an abscess of someone I am pretty sure I don’t know.

The poor waitress was torn between staring at the accident of our conversation and wanting to run away as quickly as she could in between courses.

I for one, was little disappointed that we did not have time to cover the bodily functions topics that usually end the meal. This was in respect to my aunt who requested that we not go there with the remnants of the chocolate dessert melting on the table.

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Filed under absurdities, family, health, humor

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