Zaidie was right!


I have been sitting on this story for the past few days wondering if it was a good idea to share with you all how crazy my family truly is. And then I figured if I have not scared you off yet, this one will entertain you.

The players:

Gram: my mom

Zaidie: my dad

Danny: my son

Gary: my husband

Me: me

(phone rings)

Me: Hello

Gram: Hi. Hey do you know what Steely Dan is.

Me: Sure, mom, it’s a band

Gram: No, I know it is a band. We were just listening to them. But do you know where the name came from.

Me: Um, no. Gary, do you know where the name Steely Dan came from?

Gary: (funny grin, then makes the universal hand signal for a boner)

Me: Really?! Ok, mom, Gary says it’s a boner.

Gram: A boner, nope. Dad said it is a metal dildo.

Ok, so let me interject here for a minute. My mom is 78! And she has always been rather proper. So I am going to say it is a safe bet that I have never heard her say ‘dildo’ before. Surely not ‘metal dildo’ (ouch, BTW)

Danny: (from downstairs) WHAT are you guys talking about?!

Me: Zaidie says that a Steely Dan is a metal dildo but Dad says it is a boner.

Danny: Oh Jeez!

Me: Danny, can you google it please.

a moment passes and then…

Danny: Hey Zaidie was right, it is a metal dildo. Sometimes 2-headed. Ew, I cannot believe I am having this conversation with my parents and grandparents (I believe that was paraphrased)

Seriously, don’t you think that hearing your 17-year-old son say, “Zaidie was right, it’s a metal dildo.” is somehow crossing the line?

Yeh, well, it will all come out on the couch.

FYI, here are may favorite definitions from urbandictionary. com:

1) proper name of a steam powered dildo from the novel Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs.

STEAM POWERED?!! ouch! and this one:

2) A Massive Metal dildo, sometimes double-headed.

Yeh, well that will surely fuel a nice little therapy session for my son in his future.

Haven’t had enough of me yet? You can also read me at 50-Something Moms Blog. For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.

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Filed under absurdities, aging parents, conversations, danny, family, gary, humor

15 responses to “Zaidie was right!

  1. Who knew? Thanks Zaidie. Now, how did your parents get into the Steely Dan conversation to begin with, that’s what I want to know!

  2. Liz

    LOL! Please thank your mom for the morning education! I think that I’ll never look at another Steely Dan album cover the same way!

  3. Gail

    The best part of hearing about your family is that now mine doesn’t seem so abnormal! Glad to know there are others out there that “comfortably” cross the generation gap! Actually there will be less couch time, because everything has already been said out in the open!

  4. J.

    I cannot believe the Magnet for the Absurd did not know where Steely Dan got its name – nor her husband. And this is the woman who writes about penises?! Oh the shame.

  5. Doctor Jimmy

    I agree with J….You and your husband should be left back a year in Rock and Roll College!! Oh the shame

  6. LOL – can’t scare me with this stuff! Relieved to know this goes on elsewhere – our family get togethers are insane as well. Wish I had chronicled them!

  7. Wow, I had no idea. Which is how I should’ve kept it….
    Seriously, funny family!

  8. I just don’t know what to say. Knowledgeable family you got there.

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