I have been sitting on this story for the past few days wondering if it was a good idea to share with you all how crazy my family truly is. And then I figured if I have not scared you off yet, this one will entertain you.
Gram: my mom
Zaidie: my dad
Danny: my son
Gary: my husband
Gram: Hi. Hey do you know what Steely Dan is.
Me: Sure, mom, it’s a band
Gram: No, I know it is a band. We were just listening to them. But do you know where the name came from.
Me: Um, no. Gary, do you know where the name Steely Dan came from?
Gary: (funny grin, then makes the universal hand signal for a boner)
Me: Really?! Ok, mom, Gary says it’s a boner.
Gram: A boner, nope. Dad said it is a metal dildo.
Ok, so let me interject here for a minute. My mom is 78! And she has always been rather proper. So I am going to say it is a safe bet that I have never heard her say ‘dildo’ before. Surely not ‘metal dildo’ (ouch, BTW)
Danny: (from downstairs) WHAT are you guys talking about?!
Me: Zaidie says that a Steely Dan is a metal dildo but Dad says it is a boner.
Danny: Oh Jeez!
Me: Danny, can you google it please.
a moment passes and then…
Danny: Hey Zaidie was right, it is a metal dildo. Sometimes 2-headed. Ew, I cannot believe I am having this conversation with my parents and grandparents (I believe that was paraphrased)
Seriously, don’t you think that hearing your 17-year-old son say, “Zaidie was right, it’s a metal dildo.” is somehow crossing the line?
Yeh, well, it will all come out on the couch.
FYI, here are may favorite definitions from urbandictionary. com:
1) proper name of a steam powered dildo from the novel Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs.
STEAM POWERED?!! ouch! and this one:
2) A Massive Metal dildo, sometimes double-headed.
Yeh, well that will surely fuel a nice little therapy session for my son in his future.