This one is priceless. In my mail, addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Amy E. My Maiden Name (Gary just loves this!), would be this lovely promo.
And who, you might ask, has sent me this charming offer?
Pine-friggin-lawn Memorial Park and Garden Mausoleums. Um, park and gardens? Correct me if I am wrong but I see dead people!
The scary part is that we already own real estate here, thank you very much. And I am trying my best to stay the hell out of there for as long as possible.
What was the free offer for? A Let’s Face it Now booklet that answers all those ‘questions’. Like these (with commentary of course):
Do you need a will? (do you really need to ask this question?)
What does survivor do with will? (nice grammer – contest it, of course, that is what makes for a good family fight)
How about lawyers’ fees? (right off the bat I will say they are too high)
What 6 phone calls must be made? (1. liquor store, 2. liquor store, 3. liquor store, 4. liquor store, 5. liquor store, 6. dry cleaners – they always have the black dress)
How do you claim benefit payments? (call the high priced lawyer)
How do you arrange for family memorial property? (I am sorry here, but don’t we call these graves?)
Keep in mind I do this kind of stuff for a living. I can only imagine what the meetings for this piece were like. Check out this picture. Can you imagine art directing this shoot? Cuh-ree-py!
I thought receiving the AARP card 3 times before I turn 50 was bad enough, but now this!
Sheesh! And a happy holiday to these guys too. Thanks Pinelawn Memorial Park and whatever, I will pass.
For photo enthusiasts, visit Leaving the zip code, photos from outside the comfort zone.