I know, quite a blog post title to resurface with, but hey, it’s Tuesday. What do you expect?
I like to find the humor in most situations. This grief thing is surely putting a damper on my style, but I work hard at trying to find a way to laugh when I can.
Today I have hit new heights. Amongst the odds and ends of things on my to-do list today, snuggled nicely between ‘call to have the sprinkler system serviced’ and ‘fax e-file forms back to the accountant’ sat this ominous listing:
Call the cemetery to inquire about the sod issue.
Really? The sod issue? Why should there be an issue about sod when we are talking about a grave. Should grass not be a given? Shouldn’t our lowest expectation of a cemetery be that they would lay some sod on a final resting place (Yes, I realize this sounds like a cemetery marketing piece) Apparently not, because they told my Dad that they only lay sod in the fall. So, I decided to call them myself and get to the bottom of this.
First call yielded a recording:
We are experiencing unusually high call volume at this time. Please try again later. (seriously!!!! People dying to get in today… ba dum bum)
Me: I am calling about having sod put down on a grave for an unveiling* in June.
Her: I am sorry, we only lay sod in the fall. If we lay it in the spring and we have a hot day, it burns. And we care for it if we put it down.
Me: Were we told that last spring at the funeral (as if we would remember). Or did you send us a notice, like ‘hey, if you don’t want a dirt grave for your loved one you need to order sod in the fall’
Her: No, we don’t.
Me: Hmmm, you might want to consider putting that in your packet. Can we put down our own sod?
Her: Yes, but you will have to take care of it.
Me: Do you have a sprinkler system (yes, after I said that I realized it is probably unlikely and frowned upon to start digging in a cemetery, but I had a momentary loss of rational thought from this conversation)
Her: We do not. Your other option is that you can wait till the fall and we can rent you a grass matt for the unveiling for $10 a square…
with this I sort of lost my mind and said:
Me: Are you kidding me?! More fees! This is like a Larry David.
Her: Who is Larry David?
Me: OMG… Seinfeld? The Larry David Show? Ring a bell?
Her: Oh, never heard of him. Never watched it.
Me: That’s too bad. Ok, so basically you are telling me that my father, who is in his mid 80s, will have to lay sod himself on his wife’s grave so we don’t have to look at the same raw dirt that was there the day of the funeral. And if we want said sod to stay alive, we should drive there a couple of times a week from Long Island to New Jersey to water it. And this you do not find both horrifying and hysterical at the same time.
Her: Well, when you put it that way…
Me: You should REALLY see if you can find re-runs of Larry David.
Yeh, grieving is not for sissies, indeed.
*Unveiling: Within the first year after the passing of a loved one, mourners and their family gather at the gravesite for a ceremony called the Unveiling, the placing of the tombstone. At this event, a grave marker is put into place and the monument is formally dedicated.
Source: shiva.com. (who knew there was such a url?)